Details
This takes place when Asano Gakushuu is in 11th grade. I believe by then Karma would be taller. Because the lankier you are, you grow like a pole somehow. They are 175 cm yes, but they have a 4 kg weight difference. Maybe Asano will grow to 182 like his dad, while Karma around 188. Which is around the height placed in here.
Also, Asano Gakushuu is going to prep school in Vancouver to prepare his law studies to America. He believes it will supply his future as an executive. He took it because he believed he would want it, a chance, a change. But yet, he forgot to ask what he wants at the moment. Or who he wants.
Chapter 1
Still, Our Hands Match
The ghost of winter's breath on his back, the cold piercing through. Strands of strawberry roan stood bold on the mute scenery, dissolving in the remains of the autumn mist. His lips parted, quivering. Reality once dire, remains bleak the way it would stay. His breath was mist in the cold air, like his very own words that fades to unimportance.
"You are to go abroad Gakushuu, as I have arranged for you."
He could've refused, yet it had not come out. The few muses in those lonely nights, finally came true, after all. The station was lone in the late night, with the winter cold, and it's Saturday night. There he stood, before the rails of the train, the beautiful scenery unfolding before him. Mountains that once rolled of grass, of blooms, and the sounds of crickets was left with the dim hue of snow. It was beautiful, he had thought. No matter how long he would gaze past the horizon of the rolling hills that would soon be the remembrance of his hometown, his youth. His slowly, dying youth.
"Don't jump, dumbass." A familiar voice called. Impossible. He turned his head back, there he was with wild red locks, those strands dancing in the gusting wind, and those hazel eyes just as strong. "Way to say hello, you prick. I am not suicidal." the roan haired boy answered almost instantly. "Why are you here this late?" Karma asked in curiosity. "Nothing at all." It was an honest explanation. "Out looking for a cold, huh." ,the ginger haired boy muttered. "Well, what are you doing here so late yourself?" asked the roan haired boy. "Just looking out for the scenery."
"Isn't it cold?" the question came out of concern."Home is a bit too warm and empty. Stop babying me." The ginger replied.
He was glad, though he had expected to be alone, there was someone to shared this scenery. However cold, plain, usual, it was certainly the last he would see of it. His memory lifted back to when he stood in the room of his father's office, fists clenching. His own mouth has betrayed him.
"I will go, chairman."
It was the statement he would have regretted the most, perhaps now, maybe not so then. He was leaving and no one knew. No one will know until he was truly gone. Goodbyes are too cliché, a farewell too much a crowd, and to part was excruciatingly painful. His words had sunk in his throat, a troubling expression, covered in mist, dissolving. The ginger haired boy fixated his eyes on those violet orbs, Nothing wll truly be left of him, but his legacy. His splendor in everything he puts his hand to, but never him. Perfect, but for himself, it will never be. And it would be the same to anywhere, even to the ends of the Earth If he could reach it, nothing would be left of him. A cursed perfection.
There wasn't a word exchanged as the the two stood still, the scenery describing what would descend of words. He had wanted to tell none, yet If he had to, he would tell a single soul, just one. It would be Akabane Karma, his very rival he had lost to the very end. He had fell from his throne and fell for him.And Asano felt his courage disintegrating. Like spiteful futility. Bit his tounge with his broken speech. "Karma." The very first time, his voice held a bitter gourd of quality. A pair of hazel lifted gaze, meeting violet orbs, somewhat meaningful, to meet. "What is it?"
"I am going abroad." The revelation of the sound perfectly fell on the gust of the wind. His eyes were cold, Gakushuu knew. And it shifted for the very first time, avoiding his eyes. "It wouldn't be fun anymore." he muttered, barely making out what he meant. So, the redhead thought of him in some meaningful manner, he wouldn't know. "When is your flight?" the taller boy asked, his throat unclear from the winter dry. Apparently, he had beaten him in that aspect too. "Next morning." his vision turned opaque and something clouded his sight. Asano closed his eyes. His eyelids was heavy, a blur had come to him. There wasn't much a reaction he could see in the ginger, that was good. If he had made a fuss, it would have made things much harder. And why did he told him, him of all people?
The redhead lost his smille, his nonchalant gaze. There was thoughts, most unable to be comprehended, tunneled past the ginger's mind. It still hadn't registered that Gakushuu, that Asano Gakushuu is actually going to leave once and for all. It wasn't a joke, he never does. His tone was serious, dead serious. No, it can't be, Karma thought. It went through his mind, the most rapid processing in his mind. This moment, will end. The night will end, tommorow will be the last of him. So, what should he do? Because he would probably never see him again.
" Stay the night with me." the words had come out, automatically. Like deer in headlights, the offer was glaring right at him. No, rather it was a request. Why? The roan haired boy shifted, his movements grew stiff. He did not know how to take this at all. It sounded rather strange If he were to say yes. Staying at his house of all people. Any possible thinking of answer had left him. His lips moved, but he didn't want to open them. Because his mouth would betray him, like the many other times he had said no for a yes, and a yes for a no. No, let it not be him to reject this. The roan didn't even question himself, If he had wanted it.The ginger can clearly see those conflicted eyes. A moment passed and those fists are clenching even tighter. So, he wouldn't answer after all.
"You're too old to feel so shy." the ginger nudged him, but his voice was not at all condescending. There was a pause, those violet eyes remained blank. The roan haired boy nodded. "I've missed the last train, anyways."
And he complied, maybe because the weather was cold and the early frost was glistening. And he bit his lip, because perhaps he was not at all ready. "Coffee or tea?" Karma offered him the compliments, in which he chose tea. "Darjeeling with honey please." The redhead clicked his tongue, his eyes naughtily commented on his rather bourgeois-like manner of speaking. Asano was the harbinger of quality demand. And it was two cups in the winter, the fresh aroma and they sat on the burgundy sofa. And his eyes trailed, commenting on the emptiness of the house. That it lacks life. As If it was devoid of inhabitants, furniture so well kept as it was hardly touched. He closed his eyes, the warmth spreading under his lids. Oh, how this house was much like his heart. So well polished, luminous like jasper, but had long gone dead.
"You aren't asking me where I was going?" Asano asked his eyes curiously launched at the redhead. "Let me guess, America?" the redhead addressed the most typical guess, hardly serious. "No, Vancouver." he replied, a distaste on the tone. "You don't look happy." the redhead analyzed the disgruntled expression. "No."
The answer was cut short and it was a warning that he should not delve any further. Karma plunged his back entirely to the sofa, crossing his legs, observing. And Asano didn't even try, concealing was his card. But he pried his eyes, as If looking around. It was just the two of them. They were more well natured when it was simply the two of them. It was unusually silent between the two. None of the necessary backlash, the darted retorts, and the condescending glares, none. Those little sins would not matter now it was not to put haste for further show. And does it matter now. What is sin and did it matter now?
"You have a low attention span." the redhead's statement re-shifted his focus. "Yeah, yeah.", the roan haired boy snorted. "I guess I would be the first to leave this time, Mr.Two." the redhead muttered. He hated it when the ginger called him that. "I hate you." the words that should have come so naturally. But there was a staccato of sound, that it twisted the quality. And the lack of hostility in it, made Karma cringe. "Put some more effort into it. " Karma disguised his concern in a snort. The eyes darted to the whit tiles below and his eyes was clouded again, his vision faltered. The moment he stepped on this house, he wasn't himself anymore. As meaningless conversations carry on, his eyes were left blank. Something is eating his heart inside out. And he didn't knew what it was. And the ginger noticed, how much the other boy lacked in his usual demeanor.
"Why did I even come here." the voice was hoarse. "Why do I even follow you here?" the voice grew shaky. "Why do I have to leave? Why do I even met you in the first place?!" It was a rethorical piece of reality, never a question. The ginger grew an urge to swipe off those roan colored strands, covering his broken expression. "I don't want to be here." The voice stood up from the sofa and headed for the door. The voice was still and he went for the knob. The voice broke and he slid down the door. Karma slowly lifted his weight from the springs of the sofa, launched himself to the door. And sat beside the boy whose strength was gaunt, his resolution wavering.
"I cannot breathe." the boy whispered, but his breathing wasn't ragged. And the redhead's expression was unreadable, eyeing his the boy who whipped his head to the side, facing him. Looking him straight in the eye. "I can't confess." The other boy was silent. Then the violet eyes darted back to the floor his hand slowly traced the lines of the ceramic, circling time in his fingers, then stopped. "I cannot be with you. Yet, why did I." his voice in tatters. Karma felt his eyebrows knitted, unable to comprehend. His hands lunged to grip a collar, startling the redhead, eyes wide open. "Why do I want to be with you?" the fists on the collar splintered mercilessly. And he felt his eyes clouded again and a single tear escaped. But Asano Gakushuu was brave, so he looked up. His face, he did not know what it looked like. Baring his neck, to the most appropriate enemy. And his most vulnerable state. He raised his chin and looked up.
Moisture on his lips. There wasn't a single sinister expression that he had seen in his many dreams. It wasn't rejection. And he closed his eyes and everything that clouded his vision escaped the ends of his eyes. Karma's hands was above his head, gripping his strands in gentle caress. This was just a fleeting disparity, Asano thought. As their kiss was deepen, the reciprocating taunts of his slow, excruciatingly painful nights, have decimated. Asano's eyes close shut, his expression was far from what he care to resemble, his hands moving to places he wouldn't hope touching. The colors was muted. Breaths colliding. And it was so still.
Even If it didn't matter in the end. It wasn't a rejection, he had thought. And the room fell to a deafening silence.
It was all so still.