“Spencer, Spencer wake up you have company.” My mom shakes me from my slumber. A small smile creeps onto my lips as I replay the events from last night. She'd said she loved me, and after only two months of knowing this girl—I knew I loved her too.
“Mom, go away.” I say, turning over so that my back is facing her. But she doesn't leave.
“Aiden is downstairs honey.” I shot up and looked at her. Making sure I heard her correctly.
“Who's downstairs?” I ask, my voice strained, I look at the alarm clock at it's 6:45am. Seriously?
“Aiden, honey.” She says again, confusion spreading across her face. I didn't get what he could possibly want.
“Okay, mom.” I say getting off the bed. “Could you tell him I'll be down in a sec?”
“Sure honey.” She says leaving my room. I freshen up then head downstairs to see Aiden sitting on the couch and my mom in the kitchen making breakfast.
“Aiden.” I say, and his head jerks around. He looks mad at me still—and I can't say I blame him.
“Are you leaving honey?” My mom yells from the kitchen. “Cause I'm making breakfast.” She adds.
I look at Aiden who averts his gaze and yell a quick no to my mom.
“Why are you h--”
“I need to get my stuff outta your car and I think my Varsity jacket is in your room.” He tells me with a mixture of hurt and anger in his voice, never looking at me.
“Okay, that's fine.” I understand his pain, it's the same pain I feel everyday when I think about how I hurt him and how I may never be accepted by my parents. So I know what he's feeling right now. I go and grab my keys off the counter in the kitchen and toss them to him. “You can get your stuff, while I go find your jacket.” I tell him and he leaves without responding. I go up to my room and search through my closets for his jacket and find it on my shelf.
As I turn around to head back down the steps Aiden is standing there with my keys in his hand. We exchange my keys for his jacket and then tries to practically bolt out of my room. I run and block the door so he couldn't leave. I wanted to be his friend again, I wanted the Aiden that I meet 10 years ago back.
“Please.” I beg him as he tries to move me out of the way.
“Move Spencer.” He spits out, trying to walk past me but I won't budge. He was gonna listen to what I had to say, whether he wanted to or not.
“Aiden, I'm sorry.” He scoffs and I realize how tired he must be of hearing that. “I really am, Aiden. I never meant for things to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be this way.” His face softens and I know he's listening.
“I just don't get what I did wrong, Spencer.” He says backing up from me as I close my door.
“You didn't do anything, Aide. I just...” I pause as I sit down on my bed and he joins me. There's so much pain in his face. It hurts to know I hurt him so bad. “I felt like we were moving in two different directions.” I sigh, knowing he probably wouldn't understand what I meant.
“So then, if you felt that way, did you make love to me Spence?” I knew the question was coming. I just didn't have an answer for it. I've asked myself that, many times. I guess, deep down, I felt like maybe sleeping with him would erase the feelings I had for Ashley. Make everything back normal—before Ashley showed up. But if anything, it showed me that I wanted her, craved her, needed her.
“I don't know.” I tell him and he drops his head. I drop down on my knees in front of him. I've never seen him like this—so vulnerable. “I love you, Aiden. I will always love you. Just not in that way anymore.” He looks up at me, meeting my eyes.
“I'll never stop loving you, Spence.” He says placing a hand on my cheek. And without another word he gets up and walks out.
I'm not sure if that made me feel better or worse.
I decide to go ahead and get ready for school. After getting ready I head down to eat breakfast.
“Sweetie, your father and I probably won't be home until after midnight tonight.” She pauses, grabbing her purse off the counter and rifles through it. “Order out for dinner.” She says handing me a twenty.
“Okay, mom.” I say, taking another bite outta my pancake.
“Kay, sweetie.” She kisses my forehead. “Hurry up so you're not late for school.” She grabs her bag off the counter.
“Okay.” I say with a mouth full of pancake as she leaves. I finish up my food and head upstairs to grab my phone and bag when my phone rings. I immediately smile at the name that pops up.
“Hey.” I answer walking down the steps and out the front door.
“Hey baby.” She says and my heart flutters. “What'cha doing?”
“Leaving for school.” I tell her as I make my way to my car.
“How about you come over here instead.” She says cutely.
“You mean ditch school?” I ask a little surprised at her request.
“Yeah. Let's have an us day.” She pauses and I can hear the smile in her voice as she says, “Like as a real couple.” She finishes and I can't control the smile the creeps onto my face.
“I think you're crazy.” I tell her and she giggles.
“So does that mean you're coming?” She asks, as I back out of the driveway and drive the opposite direction of the school.
“Of course. I'm on my way.”
“Okay, hurry cause I miss you.” She says sweetly and hangs up.
–
As I pull into Ashley's driveway she's sitting on her car—waiting for me.
How cute is she?
“Hey baby.” She says hoping off the car and walking over to me as I get out.
“Hey.” I smile and she kisses me.
“I missed you so much.” She says pulling back—I missed her lips already.
“I missed you too.” I tell her, pulling her back into a kiss.
“I wanna take you to the pier.” She says into my lips.
“Okay.” I say simply, reconnecting our lips. I could kiss her forever.
“But you would have to give me my lips back first.” I can feel her smile into my lips. I pull back and smile a sorry. “Not that I couldn't kiss you all day.” She says placing another barely there kiss on my lips before pulling me in the direction of her car and opening my door for me. I smile at her gesture as she runs around and takes her seat on the drivers side.
–
“I am not riding the Ferris Wheel, Spencer.” Ashley tells me as we walk, well I'm walking—she's dragging, towards the Ferris Wheel.
“But it's my fav.” I pout, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.
“I'mreallyscaredofheights.” Ashley rushes out and I didn't understand a word of it.
“What?” I say, confusion evident on my face. “I speak English.” I say slowly so she gets my drift.
“I'm really scared of heights, okay? You happy now Spencer?” She says looking down, playing with her fingers. Aw, she's embarrassed.
I left her chin, “It's okay baby.” I say with a smile. “We don't have to go.”
“But you really want to.”
“It's fine. It's no big deal.” I tell her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “Let's just do something else.” I say pulling her towards the games. We stop in front of a shooting game. “Win me a teddy bear?”
She smirks before saying, “Oh, I got this.”
Ashley has been trying now for about 15 minutes to win this game—to no avail. She's getting upset and I can tell that she doesn't plan on stopping until she wins that giant Winnie The Pooh for me. Which is so incredibly cute.
“Ashley it's fine.” I tell her as she pays the attendant guy another five dollars.
“No.” She says harshly, whipping her head around to look at me. “We are not leaving until I win you the bear you want.” She says slowly, before turning back to the game and missing yet again.
“Uh... You know you could just buy the bear.” The game attendant tells Ashley and quickly realizes that it was a bad idea. Aw. Poor kid.
“Do I look like I want to buy her the freaking bear?” She yells at the boy and he puts his head down. I feel so bad for him. It's not his fault Ashley sucks at this game.
“Ashley.” I interject before she could ream the poor boy out anymore. “How about...” I pause as she turns to face me then continue, “Can I try?”
She looks at the gun, then the attendant, then back me before sighing a 'fine' and handing me the gun. She pays the attendant another five dollars and I take a shot at the golf ball sitting on top of the glass bottle and knock it off on the first try.
“Seriously?” Her head whips around to look at me and I give her a coy smile and mouth a sorry. The attendant smiles then grabs the giant Winnie The Pooh off the top rack.
“Here you go ma'lady.” The attendant hands me the bear and gets a glare from Ashley. I better get her away from him before she jumps over the counter and starts beating him repeatedly.
“That whole time you let me look like a fool?” She says as we starts walking away. She's not mad or anything. I think she was more surprised than anything.
“I'm not the athletic type.” I shrug and continue, “So I didn't think I would get it. Let alone, on the first try.” I finish as she interlocks her fingers in mines. On reflex, I snatch my hand away and she gives me a puzzled look. I wasn't sure why I did it. Maybe I'm not ready to be that out. With the whole world looking down on me—judging me.
“Did I do something wrong?” She asks, obviously hurt by actions.
“No.” I say looking down suddenly finding the ground interesting.
“Then what's the problem?” She asks, lifting my chin.
“I just...” I pause. I need to choose my words carefully, cause I don't want Ashley to think that I'm not into being with her. I'm just not into being so out yet. You know what I mean? “It's nothing.” I smile, reassuring her. This is something we can address another time. I don't want to ruin our perfect day.
“Okay.” She says, probably not wanting to push me about it anymore. “You ready to go? I'm beat.” She says taking the teddy bear out of my hands. I mentally thank her because that thing was so heavy. I look down at my watch and it's three o'clock. I can't believe we spent the whole day just hanging out at the pier. I've never skipped school before. Not in my 13 years, counting kindergarten, of attending it.
“Yeah.” I say and we make our way back to her car.
–
“So have you thought of what you wanna do for your birthday, Spence.” We're in her room watching T.V. It's amazing how something so simple as just hanging out in her room could constitute as a continuation of one of the best days I've ever had.
“Nah, not really.” I say, not taking my eyes off the T.V.
She jumps up and says, “What!? Are you serious? You're turning 18 Spence, this is a big deal.” I look over at her and smile at her enthusiasm over my birthday.
“It's not really a big deal.” I say casually, turning my head to focus back on the T.V.
“Are you crazy? No girlfriend of mine is gonna sit around and do nothing for her birthday. Nope, not happening.” She says pulling me up off the bed.
“Uuuuugh.” I whine. I was so comfy. “You know...” I start, as she wraps her arms around me. “You technically never asked me to be your girlfriend.” I smile as she brings our lips together in a chaste kiss.
“Yes, I did.” She rolls her eyes in her head as if she was trying to recall the memory.
“Uh, no you didn't.”
“Okay.” She drags out the word, dropping down on one knee.
Um, what the hell?
“Spencer Carlin,” she says my name and my breath hitches. She grabs my hand before continuing. “Will you make me the happiest girl on earth and be my girlfriend?” She finishes, looking up expectantly at me. Hmm... I think I'm gonna play with her for a bit.
“No.” I say simply, making sure to keep my face expressionless to sell my answer. Deep down inside I'm screaming, hell yes are you crazy?!
“What do you mean, no?” She says letting go of my hand and standing up.
“I mean that, I don't know if I'm ready yet.” I say and I can see her face fall.
“Did I do something? Is this about me trying to hold your hand at the pier cause if it is Spencer, then I'm so sorry and I won't ever do it again but if you--” I cut her off with my lips, causing her to take a sharp intake of breath.
I pull back and she looks confused. Okay games over. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Ashley.” I say and her lips curl up into a smile.
“You're a jerk you know that?” She says as I place another kiss on her forehead then her nose then her lips again.
“I'm sorry.” I say simply as my mind travels to other things. Like, kissing Ashley. Duh. Keep up here. The kiss quickly turns heated as she lays me back on the bed, never disconnecting our lips.
There's a fire, burning in my heart, it's reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark.
I have no clue why Adele lyrics wanna randomly be in my head while I'm making out with my incredibly hot girlfriend.
Anyway... Ashley is kissing me all over and I'm having a hard time breathing. She kisses my neck, then my collarbone, then rolls her tongue back up to my ear and whispers, “Can I touch you?” She brings her hand down to the top of my jeans and rests it there.
I immediately feel unwary. This was all new for me. A few months ago, I would have never imagined myself with a girl, and now this. This was happening—it was happening all too fast.
“I...” I start, suddenly my throat is dry. She stops her assault on my neck and lifts her head to look down at me. She must have seen the worry on my face cause she rolls off of me and sighs.
“I'm sorry.” I say, for no reason in particular other than the fact that it sounds like the right thing to say in this situation.
“No.” She says as I join her sitting up and scoot up on the edge of the bed beside her. “I'm sorry.” She looks at me and continues, “I shouldn't have been trying to move so fast. I know this is all really new to you and it's not fair of me to try and make you move so quickly.” She says grabbing my hand.
“I'm sorry.” I say again, not knowing what else to say.
“It's okay, Spencer. You don't have to apologize. You never have to apologize for not being ready.” She stops and catches my eyes. “It'll happen, when it's supposed to happen.” I smile. “Til then, I'm happy to wait for you.” I sigh a content sigh and kiss her.
Never have things ever felt so perfect in my life.
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Sorry it uploaded with the spaces again. I'll fix it later. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Do you guys feel sorry for Aiden, or are you just glad to have Spashley??