"So who's going in first?"
"Come on guys, it's not like he's going to be in there"
"Of course he's going to be in there dipshit, he's been our teacher the past three semesters"
"But philosophy?"
"There is no subject better for him than that, he loves lecturing"
"How is it even possible to have him for two whole years?"
"Can someone just stop being a pussy and walk into the damn classroom?"
"You do it then Danny Fanny"
"Fuck off Brooks"
"Why are we even arguing about this?" I speak up. Belle, Danny, Zack, Nicole, Brandon, Luke and I are all in a clump outside our last class of the new semester, philosophy.
"You guys, he's not going to be in there" Belle chides in. "He teaches four completely different classes that conveniently align with our schedules? That's borderline creepy".
I roll my eyes. "We can't stand out here forever" I say, walking through the door that seemed like a portal to a new world at the way my friends were treating it.
"Besides" I say, turning back around to look at them. "Belle's right. There is no way Mr. Solender is going to be our-"
But I stop myself when I turn back around to see the one and only Mr. Solender leaning back casually on his desk with an amused smile on his face.
"I called it! Cough up ten bucks Woods" Danny calls out as he follows me into the room. Zack reluctantly hands over the money before finding a seat.
"Ms. Adams" Mr. Solender states in a pleasant voice. "You might want to tell your friends that the bell is about to ring and if they are not planted in a seat at that time, I will, with a heavy heart, mark them tardy for my class, no matter how many times I have taught you guys before".
"Guys, get in here" I shout behind me and Luke, Brandon, Belle and Nicole file in. I pick a seat in the front row and Luke sits in the one behind me. "A little excited for our first philosophy class, aren't we Sleeping Beauty" he teases.
I shoot him a playful glare. "Bite me" I say back. "Maybe later" he whispers in a low voice in my ear, sending chills down my arms.
It has been a week since the trip and Luke seemed calmer and happier than I'd seen him in a long time. Both of us turned in our NYU applications and now all we had to do was wait for a response.
My attention turns to Mr. Solender when I notice him writing 2 words on the board. Human Existence
"You'd think the guy would realize that a class full of seniors who have already applied for college aren't going to be doing shit in the class, especially on the first day" Danny mumbles across from me.
"And you'd think that a student who has had me a total of three time already would realize that I won't tolerate any slack in my classroom Mr. Warren" Mr. Solender says as he turns back around, looking straight at a now paler Danny.
"Well played Solender. Well played" Danny mumbles but Mr. Solender has already moved on swiftly into his lesson.
"Human existence" he says loudly. "We have been around for multiple centuries and yet we are still evolving, becoming more aware. Can someone tell me why our existence seems more significant than other species?" he asks.
Because we are more intellectually gifted" I speak up.
"Exactly" Solender states, pointing towards me with his pen, his way of saying good job. "As a human species we are notorious for having a higher intelligence than others. Compared to other animals and species, we are highly intellectually gifted".
"What does this have to do with philosophy?" Luke calls out. I turn around to give him a glare but Mr. Solender speaks up before I can.
"Mr. Evans! I'm so glad you volunteered yourself for my example" Mr. Solender exclaims.
Luke groans and looks at me. "Why does he always do this?"
"What, Mr. Evans, would you say the meaning of philosophy is?" Mr. Solender asks him.
He shrugs. "The study of our existence".
Mr. Solender nods. "Do you see any books in here?"
Luke glances around. "No".
Mr. Solender raises his brows. "Any chemistry sets?"
Again, Luke says "no".
"So how in the world do you think I'm going to teach you about this subject?"
Luke shrugs slightly again. "Well, you can't really".
Mr. Solender tips his head slightly to the side. "And why is that?"
"Because you don't know the real meaning behind our existence either".
"Mr. Evans has just answered your first question of this class" Mr. Solender says, pacing the floor. "This class isn't like any you have done before. There is no basic set of material I need to teach you because nobody knows the real meaning of life. So, how do you think we are going to try and learn the meaning of our existence?".
This time Nicole is the one to speak up. "Through things we do understand".
Mr. Solender nods at her. "Right you are, Ms. Brooks. For the past centuries, ever since the beginning of human existence, people have tried to figure out why we exist. What our purpose is and the overall meaning of life. We have always used things that we understand to explain the understandable. One of the things we use to understand, is intelligence".
"Why is our intelligence believed to be such a strong weapon to us as a species?" he asks us.
"It causes wars" Bella calls out.
"It helps us understand the world" Zack adds.
"And people" Luke comments.
"It separates us from other species" I state.
Mr. Solener turns to me. "Now why does that matter to us?".
"Because we are a very egotistical and self absorbed species" I answer.
Mr. Solender chuckles slightly. "You hit it right on the ball Ms. Adams. As humans, we are constantly trying to find things that separate us from other animals. Things that we assume make us greater than them. Things that we assume make us better.
"Do you guys know the main reason some people don't believe in the theory of evolution?" he asks.
"Religion?" Brandon calls out.
"You would think so, but no" Mr. Solender says. "It is actually, simply the refusal to believe that at some point, we weren't superior to a species like the apes. People refuse to believe that we haven't always had such superior technology to the other animals that roam Earth.
"The reason we have religion and we believe we are different than other species is because we believe that there is a reason we are here. Why would that be so important to us?".
"It gives us a reason to live" Luke speaks.
Mr. Solender waves a hand at him. "More specific".
"It gives us a reason to continue trying to be better than we were before".
Mr. Solender claps his hands together. "Mr. Evans has just explained exactly why we have been put here on Earth".
"Well couldn't it be for a different reason? As you said so yourself, nobody actually knows the real meaning of our existence" I say.
Mr. Solender smiles at me. "Ms. Adams is getting the hang of this class. I'm not here to tell you guys that exact thing you need to believe because I don't know myself. I am no more qualified to tell people the meaning of their existence anymore then you guys are.
"Which brings me back to the topic of human existence. There is no one reason for it. People go through their lives for different reasons. Some to help their loved ones, some to become successful, and some just for the simple pleasure of being alive. So whatever reason you have for getting up in the morning, let that root you down and be the tool you use throughout this class. Let your belief be the thing that guides you to the meaning of why you were put on this planet. Let it guide you through this uncertain and unpredictable existence we call life".
------------------------
"Luke, can you please take your hands off my eyes now? I'm becoming seriously concerned that you'll run me into a pole or something" I call out as Luke leads me forward, his hands leaving me blind.
"Calm down Sleeping Beauty, we're almost there" he states, leading me through the street. Right after school today Luke snatched me up and put a blindfold over my eyes. He drove us for what felt like 30 minutes until covering my eyes with his hands and helping me out of the car.
"Alright, you can open your eyes" Luke exclaims excitedly.
"Luke, your hands are still over my eyes"
"Oh, right. Ta-da!" he shouts before removing his hands from my face. I squint my eyes to adjust to the outside brightness. We are in front of a grocery store.
"And you drove me to a grocery store 30 minutes away blindfolded because?" I ask him, not really getting what he was doing.
He grins and leans in, pressing his lips to mine. It is a soft and quick kiss but it still makes my face feel warmer. He pulls away and smiles at me.
"Happy Birthday".
I am shocked that he remembered that it was today. I don't remember ever telling him this before.
"How did you know?" I ask him. Sure, Belle and Danny had already said happy birthday, followed by a free coffee and a chorus of "for she's a jolly good fellow" but Luke wasn't around when that happened.
He frowned slightly at my question. "You're my girlfriend. Of course I remembered your birthday" he says like it is the most obvious thing in the world.
"So can I ask why we are standing in front of a grocery store?" I ask him.
"Because" he states. "We are going to pick out the ingredients for spaghetti tacos and I am going to cook you a dinner followed shortly by your favorite thing in the world, strawberry cheesecake".
"Please tell me you're not going to be making the strawberry cheesecake as well" I tease. He puts a hand over his heart. "I am offended" he exclaims. "But don't worry. I'm not dumb enough to think that I can actually pull off strawberry cheesecake".
"Nope. Just dumb enough to think you can pull of spaghetti tacos" I mumble.
"Hey smart ass, we can leave and I can just get some take out or some shit like that" Luke says back, slinging an arm around me.
"No, I like the idea of you cooking for me" I admit, resting my head on his chest. "Thank you for remembering".
"That's more like it" Luke nods. "Now, I'm going to go and pick up the strawberry cheesecake I already ordered. While I'm doing that can you pick up some hard taco shells and noodles?"
"Sure. Find me when you get the cake" I say, giving him a peck on the cheek before making my way to the pasta section.
I head towards the pasta section in the store but stop in my tracks as I see a familiar head of black hair and I am so shocked I stop in my tracks to gawk at the person for a second.
It is Ryder, the boy smoking at the party. The one that helped me decide what to write for my college paper. He is examining two different types of Mac and Cheese's and hasn't noticed me.
I walk over to the familiar face and stop a few feet in front of him. "You know, I almost didn't recognize you without a cigarette in your hand" I state, leaning against the shelf.
His head whips up at my voice and as soon as his eyes take in my face, his mouth parts into a faint smile. "And I almost didn't recognize you sober" he says back as a type of greeting.
"I didn't think I'd see you ever again" I say. "By the way, thank you for your advice about the college paper. Now all I'm waiting for is to see if they take me".
"All I did was give you my opinion on the topic" Ryder shrugs it off.
"Well then thank you for having good opinions" I reply.
He scrunches his eyebrows together. "I sure hope not all of your conversations are this weird" he says in a teasing way.
"Well now I'll be aware of every single conversation I have and whether or not it is weird so thank you for that" I say back.
He smiles wider. "So what are you doing here?".
"Oh, you know, just looking for new shoes" I sarcastically state, picking up a can of tomatoes.
"Gosh I feel sorry for whatever friends have to put up with your smart ass every day" he says back, shaking his head.
"Ditto for the ones that have to put up with your smoking habits"
"I'm starting to like you better drunk"
I laugh at that. "Well that doesn't happen a lot so you got to see a really different side of me that night".
"I'm honored" he says, placing a hand on his heart in a sarcastic manner. "Usually I only get to see drunk people on Fridays when I have to work at the Hooters near here".
"You work at Hooters?".
"I'm not proud but a job is a job".
"Don't you have to have big boobs for that job?".
"And who do you know that has more than the rack I'm sporting?" he asks, motioning to his clearly flat chest.
"Not many" I say back
"Exactly".
"I should probably find some pasta and taco shells now" I say to him.
"I thought you were shopping for shoes".
"I'm not sure if that was an attempt at a joke or not"
"And I'm not sure why someone would buy past and taco shells"
"Ever heard of spaghetti tacos?"
"No"
"Well you don't get out often, do you"
"Not really. I spend most of my time sitting at windows smoking, waiting for drunk girls to stumble in the room so I can give them advice about their college paper topic"
"See, when you say things like that I can't tell if you don't grasp the concept of jokes or if you're just crazy"
"I can assure you it's the latter"
"Well I should get going before-" I say but am stopped when the familiar voice of Luke calls out my name.
"Speak of the devil" I state while turning around to face Luke.
"Of course you're socializing. Did you at least get the pasta and taco shells like I-" but Luke stops when he finally looks over at Ryder.
Ryder's jaw visibly clenches as he takes in Luke. "Luke Evans" he says in a flat tone that almost scares me.
"Luke, do you know Ryder?" I ask him, he is staring at Ryder as well but his expression is visibly different. His eyes are wider and his eyebrows are slightly raised and he almost looks scared.
"What I'm wondering is how you know Ryder" Luke says before returning his attention to me.
"We met at a party" Ryder answers for me. "I could ask how you know her as well but I already have a pretty good guess".
"Luke's my boyfriend" I explain and I watch Ryder's mouth move up into a sickening smirk.
"I guess you have another girl to manipulate in whatever way you choose" he says to Luke and I watch Luke's fists clench at his sides.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, turning towards Ryder. He glances as me before meeting Luke's gaze again. "Why don't you ask the one you're in a relationship with" he snarls.
"Luke" I start, turning towards him but Luke stops me by taking my hand in his and pulling me back, moving both of us away from Ryder.
"Lets go Claire" he says in an almost desperate voice.
Ryder turns to look at me. "How long do you plan on having this one under your wing before you break her for the little game you love and play so well?" he asks.
I turn to look at Luke. He doesn't look scared anymore. He just looks angry. "Leave her out of this" he snaps.
Ryder nods slowly, his mouth stretched out into a thin line. "I'll tell Selena you said hi" he speaks. His eyes flit over to me. "I hope you truly know the boy you care about so much Claire" he says but that is all I can see of him before Luke drags me behind him away from the aisle.
"Luke what the hell was that?" I ask him but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he briskly walks over to the pasta and picks up a box.
"Luke" I try again but he continues walking ahead of me to the taco shells. He stays silent all the way to the check out counter.
"Luke-" I start again but he stops me.
"Not here Claire" he says in a low voice. "Lets just get out of here first".
He grabs the bags after paying and we step out onto the street.
"Luke!" I shout as he walks towards the car. He unlocks it and puts the groceries in the back.
"Luke, don't ignore me. What the hell was that? Why did Ryder seem so mad at you and who the hell is Selena?" I demand.
Luke stops moving but keeps his back to me.
"Don't just ignore me because you don't want to talk about it Luke! Answer me!" I shout and Luke whips around to look at me.
"He's a football player from another school Claire. That's it. All he is is a guy who is mad that I beat him in the game to go to the State Nationals".
"Then who is-"
"Selena? Hell if I know. Probably some old girlfriend of his that dumped him after he lost the game. Your guess is as good as mine. Just please don't hold whatever he has against me. That's all there is between me and the guy. A football rivalry.
"Claire" he says, breathing out my name before cupping his hands around my face. "Please don't take anything he says seriously".
"I believe you" I say back and a smile flutters onto his face. "I love you Claire" he speaks before crashing his lips onto mine.
As our lips move in sync I can't help but remember Ryder and I's conversation that night at the party.
"What happened?"
"Oh, that's a lacrosse injury"
His voice repeats over and over in my head
"I guess you have another girl to manipulate in whatever way you want to"
"I'll tell Selena you said hi"
"Lacrosse injury"
And though I want to believe Luke's explanation over the words of a boy I barely knew, Luke's story just doesn't add up to the other things I knew and I couldn't help but feel a sudden urge to uncover whatever secret Luke has involving Ryder that he is so desperately trying to hide from me.