The Bad Boy's Girl Valentine's Day Special
"The ship is sinking, I repeat the ship is sinking!"
Megan whooshes into the room with the strength of a fiery red headed hurricane and collapses on my bed. Beth who's casually filing her nails by my study table barely looks up from her task and for once I'm thankful that we've been around Megan long enough to not take most of her exaggerated displays of over the top emotion seriously.
Pretending that I have no idea what she's talking about, I sink deeper into my covers and hope that this sleepover doesn't turn into my very own court mandated hour with the town shrink because my friends love to play the part. Megan's more of the good cop, she'll start out with channeling her inner Dr. Phil and even adds in the Texan drawl for added effect. Beth is a bit more hands on, imagine your therapist possessing the unleashed energy of a bull in a rodeo and I might as well be painted red head to toe. So it is understandable that the last think I'd like tonight is for her to metaphorically throw me down and stomp all over me with her barb wired words.
"Why aren't you guys making a huge deal out of this? This is a huge deal, the least you could do is act appropriately." Megan's eyes zone in on me and I pull the covers over my head, snoring for some extra drama.
"Oh no you don't." The covers are ripped off of me, an occurrence that happens way too often for my liking.
"You do not get to have an ugly public fight with boyfriend of the year and pretend that nothing ever happened. Your swollen eyes are a total giveaway FYI. Why didn't you tell us? Why did it have to be on the school's Snapchat story for me to find out that you and Cole exchanged some not so pleasant words on the football field and some dickhead with a camera captured it on his phone for all of ALHS to see?"
I blink, once then twice and then as many times as it takes for Megan's words to register.
"Wait, it's public?"
"Of course it is! Football field, hello? Crawling with meatheads athletes and cheerleaders who might as well be Satan's second coming. But that's not the point, what the ever loving hell happened between the two of you and why isn't our Goth chic Godmother more upset about it? I could have sworn she'd put the fear of God into you by now."
We both turn to look at Beth who's done working on her nails and is observing us with a slightly disturbing mildly detached look. It's the look she gets when someone's talking about One Direction or Justin Bieber or anyone of the pop culture variety because she's truly gorge her eyes out with a fork than listen to their music.
"I heard."
We both gape at her, "You did and I haven't had my spirit crushed under the weight of your judgemental words? How is that even possible?"
She shrugs, "Your boyfriend told me to back off. He saw me while I was coming here, raging bitch and what not, ready to tell you to stop self sabotaging and being a monumental pain the in the butt all the damn time when he basically ambushed me. He told me that the fight was his fault and that he was working on getting you to forgive him. I bought the story, it's quite cute so I'm letting you off the hook. But if you ask me, the fight was pretty stupid..."
"Stupid?" I screech and then hurl a pillow at her. "You call being stood up for the date you've been looking forward to for weeks stupid? Because you know that's exactly how I felt. Stupid! I bought a dress, a very expensive dress from my own savings which I needed to...never mind. We hadn't properly seen each for weeks. We've both been so busy with school and work and his away games that this was the one day we had before things got crazy again. I'd planned the perfect night, reminded him a hundred times but then I stood there waiting for an hour, drove up to his place only to find out that he'd driven out of town without telling anyone where he's going! Imagine the kind of hell that put me through, that his parents went through. We were all calling him frantically and he wouldn't even answer it. It's not even about the stupid dinner reservations or anything, we thought something absolutely horrible had happened to him! Sheriff Stone was about to send off a search party when he stumbles in, completely drunk, barely holding himself upright."
The girls watch me with their mouths wide open, even Beth for all her resilience looks upset as I recount the details of this past weekend.
"I don't even know who drove him home, he won't tell me anything. He's in so much trouble with his parents and I'm not even mad about being stood up but he's refusing to tell me what happened. Wouldn't that make upset as well because I sure as hell am?"
"Of course," Beth mumbles, "Travis wouldn't live to see the light of day if he did that to me."
We both know he never would though, not after Beth's mom Marie's death in a drunk driving accident.
"I can ask Alex about it if you want. He hasn't brought it up but Cole must've told him something."
Megan volunteers and I'm tempted. As Cole's best friend, Alex should be able to shed some more light on what happened that day but I'm not going to sneak around Cole's back. He's got to tell me himself or handle the consequences. Trust is crucial to me and while it may take me some time to get over my initial fear of putting my faith in people, once I trust someone I'm in it for life. Which is why it hurts so much that Cole's obviously going through something and refusing to talk to me about it?
"He tried to apologise to me after football practice today but he still won't tell me what happened..."
"Hence the snapchat glory."
"Pretty much."
We're all quiet for a bit and then no one brings it up again, there's not really much they can say at this point. Something is going on with my boyfriend and he's obviously trying to hide it from me. I'm the not the kind of girlfriend who refuses to give him even an inch of personal space. He gets to keep his secrets if there's something he isn't ready to tell me or if it's too private, lord knows I do that. But this isn't something I can just wave off. He hurt me, he put me through a hell no one should have to go through, wondering if something terrible had happened to him and he won't even tell me why.
I can't let that go.
***
Valentine's Day comes a week later and I'm sorely disappointed by how true my premonitions were about this day weeks ago. Before Cole, I'd never really given a lot of thought to the day. Sure I'd think about Jay and Nicole and then stuff my face with Kit Kats, that I'd buy for myself in bulk that day but the day would pass by without being anything spectacular. But this year I'd thought it would be different, just so incredibly different and special. I'd have Cole by my side and even thought it's a stupid holiday driven by consumerism, someone else would buy me chocolate and flowers, maybe even a card. Though along with the excitement of having someone to share the day with came that feeling that always nags at you when you're looking forward to something. That pesky little bugger is always there, always hissing that all your plans will go up in smoke and that you should be prepared to have all your hopes and dreams smashed.
Pleasant right?
Well, I'd always experience it. When you've grown up watching the worst case scenario always being the case you do tend to be a bit of a pessimist. Then again, if the thing you dread is your reality then you're not a pessimist, you're a realist and that just sucks.
Valentine's Day is a Sunday and finds me at home working on my homework. I woke up early today at 7am after a restless couple of hours of sleep so the day is already off to a hideous start. Add to that the fact that I'd been ignoring the homework piling over me the last couple of days and I'm hunched over my laptop, my eyes crossing over by this point. It's three hours later and I've barely made a dent into my coursework but my grumbling stomach forces me to take a break from the evils of Calculus and head to the kitchen.
The house is empty and allows me to mope around the space, banging fridge doors and slamming cereal bowls around. I'm pretty sure Travis and Beth headed to a cute Bed and Breakfast the night before and must be having a grand old time. I'd forgotten that before everything went down, my brother had been quite the romantic. His evil cow ex-girlfriend Jenny, faithless as she was had never had any complains in that region. She'd always squealed about the romantic dates my brother planned.
I sigh once again and make myself a big old bowl of Coco Puffs, this day will require copious amount of caffeine and chocolate.
Cole has been trying to talk to me the whole week but whenever I bring up that one night he refuses to budge and it's infuriating. I've told him that I would never think that it's about a girl, never accuse him of cheating but I'd still like to know what the hell happened that night and why is it such a huge secret. He won't even tell Cassandra and it's worrying me.
Quickly, I moved past the worrying stage and steamrolled into anger, anger that's been allowed to simmer slowly and turn into hurt.
Hurt that might get too deep rooted if he doesn't tell me the truth soon.
I shovel large spoonfuls of cereal into my mouth and try and ignore the tears pricking behind my eyes. Fine, if he wants to be a stubborn asshole then let him be.
I stare daggers at my phone, like it's too blame for Cole's radio silence today and turn it off. I'm the solo V-day champion and know how to get through this day better than anyone out there. With a plan in mind, I finish eating and rinse my dishes.
I've got a pity party to plan.
I dress up for the day.
So yes, I realise the stereotype would require for me to be in my sweats all day, hair tossed in a bun and be on Netflix for more hours than is considered healthy. However today what I need to empower myself is expensive lingerie and my favourite cream sweater that I know does wonders for my figure. I put on my Skinny jeans that make my legs go on for days and my YSL boots which I got my from my grandparents and head out the door. I steal my dad's car since his notes on the fridge tells me he's on a fishing trip with friends today so, score!
My ride to the biggest mall in the city, an hour out away from town is fuelled by adrenaline. I'm not this girl, shopping doesn't satisfy some deep psychological craving but today it seems to be on the agenda. My phone is still turned off and it stays that way for the hour that I drive and for the three hours that follow where I drop enough cash to put myself through one semester of college. A part of me knows I'll be returning more than half these things tomorrow, although the jacket I just picked up from Nordstrom may be harder to part with.
The mall is filled with nauseous couples, holding hands and kissing. The entire space is decked out with balloon hearts and looks like a Hallmark card. I'm questioning my decision to come here, when most people are here with there partners, forcing them to buy chocolates and jewellery. To make up for my lapse in judgement, I get myself a dozen Nutella stuffed donuts because something has to come out of this pathetic trip.
Driving home, I refuse to look at my bags full of shame. Again it is easier to blame Cole for making me act so insane. If only he'd come clean and tell what's going on with him, I wouldn't have all those ridiculous scenarios going through my head thus driving me to insanity.
On a whim I turn my phone on while at a stoplight and all at once I'm bombarded with texts and missed calls. They're all from Cole and alarm bells start to ring. He hasn't reached out to me for the last few days and this immediately puts me into panic mode. What if something's happened to him?
I start going through the texts as I'm driving, struggling to keep my eyes on the road as well as on my phone. The traffic had increased on the journey back yet I managed not to kill myself in the process.
The texts start out with him asking me where I was, that he was at my house and I wasn't there.
The same question got repeated when I wouldn't answer my phone and then the texts got increasingly frantic. I experience a sense of déjà vu, I'd been in the same position a week ago but I'd been the one sending texts of this nature.
Some twisted part of me is happy that he understands what I went through but the other, more humane part feels a horrible amount of guilt for putting him through this. No one wins in this situation, this isn't about me getting revenge. I don't dare call him back because I've always been a nervous driver when there's a huge amount of traffic, coupled with my current emotional state it'll be lucky if I make it home alive.
***
The most excruciatingly long car journey ends as I manage to reach my house without having a breakdown. I take deep breath as the car idles in the driveway and reach for my phone. I'm about to call Cole when I see movement by the front porch and someone storming down the steps.
It's him.
I kill the engine and step out of the car watching Cole run towards me, a storm brewing in his eyes.
The moment he reaches me he hauls me to his chest and then runs his hands all over him, as if checking for injuries.
"Are you okay?" His voice is raspy, laced with worry and fear.
"I'm a couple hundred dollars poorer but otherwise okay."
The smart ass comment has him stepping back and looking at me like I'm a stranger, like he doesn't know the girl standing in front of him as well as he knows himself.
"I've been calling you."
"I know, I'm sorry. I was driving and freaked out. I could barely drive myself back home without letting the nerves get the best of me."
He understands, I can see the worry all over his face. He knows that I don't do well under high levels of stress, that I tend to buckle under the pressure and call for reenforcement, which is usually him and this time around I didn't call him.
"You okay?" He comes closer and rests his hand on my cheek, unwillingly I lean into his touch because god, I've missed him.
"Yeah, stupid panic attack. It went away after a while." His thumb caresses my cheek, the corner of my lip and then retracing his movements.
"You could've stopped and just called me."
I back away at the assertion, "Like you called me? Like you told me what happened when I thought you were lying at the side of the road somewhere, hurt?"
He flinches and drops his hand from my face.
"It was nothing...I told you. It's not important."
"Don't you think I deserve to know why you stood me up and why you came home hours later reeking of tequila and sweat?"
"I didn't do anything wrong." He grits out
"And I'm not accusing you of it! But you're obviously hiding something. You want to keep secrets? Fine, I get that but the way you acted that day...it's not who you are. You don't stand me up, you don't do that to your parents, not anymore and sure as hell don't drink that much. Who even dropped you home? I'm worried about you Cole! Don't you understand? It's like you're spiralling back to that guy who got sent to military school and that hurts me so damn much."
One minute I'm holding back a sob and the next I'm in Cole's arms and he's kissing me like his life depends on it. Right there in my driveway, in the middle of the day for all the world to see, Cole kisses me hot and heavy with his hands all over him. I'm putty under his touch, my arms linking around his neck as I go up on my tiptoes to return his kisses. He coaxes my mouth open with his tongue until I'm opening up for him, our tongues tangling together in a battle of domination. I let him win because I'm tired of fighting him over everything. His hands rest possessively on the curve of my back, the other sneaking up my sweater, fingers coursing over my ribs and upwards...
It's when I hear my neighbour from across the whistle loudly that we break apart. I wrench my mouth away from him gasping for breathe but Cole refuses to let go of me. His arms tighten around my waist and he buries his face in the crook of my neck.
"Damn it," he growls against my warm skin, "I can't win with you."
I can feel his body shaking against mine and ignoring our audience, I push my hand through his thick hair, trying to calm him down.
"Let me help you. Tell me what's wrong and I can help. Let's go inside."
He doesn't refuse, instead he takes my hand and I finally prepare myself to know what it is that's got him so upset.
***
My mind's completely distracted however, the minute we cross the threshold though because I realise immediately that Cole's been really busy redecorating the place in my absence. I gasp, as I take in the scene before me. He's moved away all the furniture in the living room and in its place is a single table for two, a candle burning in it's ornate holder. Rose petals are discretely scattered around the space but a beautiful arrangement of calla lilies are centre stage on the table. Next to it is a box, wrapped in silver wrapped obviously with a boy's expertise.
"I know we're fighting and I know you have questions. I'm going to answer them but this is our first Valentine's Day together. I want this to be special for you. I don't want my bullshit to affect how you remember this day. You had plans, I know that and maybe this isn't ideal."
He comes up behind me, arms around my waist.
"I'd wake you up with kisses. I'd kiss you right here." His lips linger at my cheek and then he peppers soft kisses all over my face, turning me around in his arms. "Here and here and here."
I close my eyes and let his words take me to that place. "You'd open your eyes and give me that smile, the one that makes me wonder every time what I did to deserve it. There's still some sleep in your eyes, you're all hazy and lost and dreaming. That's when I'd make my move, kiss you and not have you push me away because you want to brush your teeth first."
I shiver as he cups my face with both hands and kisses my forehead. "You'd come down to an empty house. I asked your dad if we could have the place to ourselves, awkward as it was he trusted me with you. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he knew I'd take care of you. So when I couldn't find you, it drove me a little crazy. Not because of the promise I made to your dad but because I knew I'd screwed up so bad with you that you didn't even want me to find you."
"I thought we weren't talking about it."
He shrugs, his thumbs caressing my jaw. "Let's wing it. We can compromise, let me serve you the dinner I made for you and you can ask me whatever questions you have. Nothing's off limits."
"Did you bake?" I ask and he cracks the first smile I've seen on him in ages.
"Brownies, Nutella frosting with Kit Kat chunks in the centre."
"Deal."
***
Over our candlelit romantic dinner, all made by the culinary genius that is Cole Stone I finally get to know about the things that have given the two of us so much grief over the last few days.
"I'm sorry for standing you up that night."
I tense as the embarrassment and anger from the night come back but I stop myself from lashing out. This is where he gets to explain and where I let him speak.
"I was coming to pick you up, I was almost ready to leave the house when it hit me. And when I realised what the day was I just couldn't think of anything else. It completely took over my mind and I didn't think...I just got in my car and drove. I had to be there. I was so angry, so mad that I'd forgotten and that no one in my damn house remembered. Especially my dad...I thought it was something the two of us shared, that despite the time that had passed the day still meant something. But he never said a word and I was so angry."
"Cole," I place my hand over his on the table. "What happened? I'm sorry but I can't understand until you tell me."
"My mom," he swallows, his cheeks getting a slight tint of red. "It was the day she died and I forgot."
Oh god.
"I...I'm so sorry. I had no idea, you've never..."
"I know and that's why I'm kicking myself so hard right now. If I'd just been honest with you from the start, things would've been easier. But like I said, I forgot and I was angry at myself. I took it out on you, on my parents and it wasn't fair."
"I understand, God if I'd known..."
"It's difficult to explain without sounding crazy. I mean she died when I was four, it's not like I remember a lot about her. But there were times when I hated my dad, when I wished she was around so badly that I started clinging on to this idea that she was. Conjuring up a dead parent? Maybe that's why I was so angry that day. It felt like I'd abandoned her the moment I was happy and didn't need her anymore. I don't even remember getting drunk after I left the cemetery or how I got home. The bar owner might have called a cab. I just don't remember. This sounds crazy to you right?"
"No," I tell him softly because he's breaking my heart right now. I think about the four year old Cole with his messy hair and wide blue eyes, wanting affection from the only parent he had left and getting nothing in return. I get up from my seat and sit sideways in his lap, clinging to him.
"She loves you and that's not something that'll ever change. You haven't abandoned her by being happy but it makes sense that you would feel guilty. But she wouldn't want that for you, she wouldn't want you to associate her with being alone and in pain." I kiss his forehead.
"I wanted to bring it up and tell you, this entire week that you've been so mad at me but I didn't know how to. I was embarrassed I guess, I didn't think anyone wold understand why I made such a big deal out of it."
"I'm not someone, I'm not just anyone. I'm your girlfriend and I love you. I need you to know that whatever it is, if it matters to you then it matters to me."
"I love you Shortcake."
"Then you'll tell me all about your mom, what you remember about her and what you don't. What you've learned about her from your dad, your grandparents, from random memories of her. I wish I could've celebrated her life with you that day, instead of fighting but we can make up for lost time. I want to know everything about her."
He looks at me with eyes so filled with awe that my heart breaks just a little bit more. My beautiful broken boy, how long has he needed someone to just talk to? I know he's not lonely anymore, he's back home where he belongs and surrounded by the people that love him. But his mom is someone he'll always miss, always wonder about and always think of as a missing piece in his life. There's nothing I can do to change that but I can be there for him, during moments like these when her loss feels greater than before.
***
We finish talking over dinner and I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm the one who ended up crying. Cole actually laughs as I tip over an entire box of Kleenex and sob into them. But the way he talks about a mother that was taken from him way too soon is enough to make me bawl my eyes out. When he's done talking about her we move onto the couch and put a cheesy rom com on, for the love of Valentine's Day. Snuggling up under a fluffy blanket, I finally, finally feel at peace.
"Hey! I can't believe I forgot to give you your present." He leaps off to grab the silver box and I rest my head on the back of the couch to watch him retrieve my present. I'm not too ashamed to admit that I did buy him a bottle of both his and my favourite cologne which is sitting in the trunk of my car right now.
"Here," he thrusts the box towards me like a nervous child and it reduces me to a puddle of goo.
I don't care if there are living worms in this box, I'll love it regardless.
"I got you some chocolates too and chocolate covered strawberries and of those fancy chocolate truffles that you like so much but they're in your room in the same place as where you hide the rest of your stash and pretend that no one else knows where the spot exactly is. I might have stolen a Kit Kat or two but I'll replace it, I know you're pretty possessive about them and..."
"Cole,"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and come snuggle."
I lift the blanket and let him slip back into place, his front to my back-spooning perfection.
Carefully tearing open the wrapping, I push the paper apart to first find a print out of what appears to be concert tickets for...
"No way!"
He laughs and buries his head into my neck, "Way."
"How did you even get these? They were sold out! This is a super exclusive listening for only her biggest fans."
"I had five people on five different computers sitting with me through the night. I figure we'd have greater odds and it worked."
"Oh my god, I can't believe I'm going to see Adele with you!"
"Feel free to take anyone you want, I insist really. You don't have to feel obligated to take me Tessie."
I elbow him jokingly, "Oh you're going and it's going to be the greatest musical experience of your life."
"Remind me when I'm surrounded by crying women that I did this to myself."
I let the shock of the first present wear off and remove the print out of the tickets to find another small rectangular box underneath. Cole's gone really quiet behind me and as I open the leather-bound notebook that's been frayed with time and wear, I realise what I'm seeing.
"Sometimes it was easier to write down my thoughts, of things I'd like to say to you. It was easier seeing them being put down on paper, I thought whenever I saw you again I'd just recite from memory. I'd write on and off again in military school and I started writing a little this week as well. It reminded me about how I'd promised to always talk to you, to tell you exactly how I feel. Maybe that's why I was able to tell you about my mom today. I want you to have this as a reminder that even when I shut you out, my first instinct is to always be honest with you."
"Cole I don't know what to say...I think I'm all cried out for today. This is...this means the world to me." My voice quivers and I turn my head to kiss him deeply, making sure he knows the magnitude of what he's given me and the love that I have for him.
"Good, because guess what Shortcake? You mean the world to me."
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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! <3
So this chapter was brought on by the fact that I've never, ever done a V-day chapter for Cole and Tessa, which is pretty strange. I wanted to write something special and different from them which I hope I've managed to do. I didn't just want to write a chapter, it needed to have some depth and show you a side of the characters that you haven't seen before. I hope I've managed to do that <3
The reason I'm putting this up here, instead of TBBH is because I've set this in their high school and not college. The timeline is a bit off so please forgive me. But this roughly four-ish months into their relationship if I'm correct.
Valentine's Day isn't necessarily about spending it with your significant other, it's a day where you're more than welcome to celebrate the emotion of love and that's what I intend to do. My way of doing it involves a ton of romance novels and chocolate.
(And homework, always homework). I wish all you amazing, amazing people the best day and thank you once again for all your love, support and patience!
Please let me know what you think about the chapter by either commenting here or tweeting me! I love, love, LOVE to connect with you all through social media so follow me:
Looking forward to hearing from you <3
Love,
Blair