It would take over two hours to get back to New York. Giving him way too much time to think. He texted his assistant to set up a luncheon with Debbie. He hadn't seen his wife in over six months and that was only briefly at one of their mutual friend's birthday parties. He couldn't even recall if they spoke to one another. It puzzled him greatly to think of what she could want of him now. Truth be known he'd be more than happy never to see her again.
They met when she had attended one of his seminars. She had been so different back then. So loving and caring, he really thought she loved him. Of course, back then he loved her too, but now seeing Sheila and all the feelings just seeing her again evoked, the passion in her kiss, the look in her eyes when she'd stared at him. He was willing to admit he really did not know what love could be until she reentered his life, and now that he had a taste of it he refused to let it go.
The Lincoln Tunnel. He was close to home. He loved New York, something that he had not thought of until now. If he and Sheila did get together would they commute? It would seem a waste to spend those hours sitting in traffic then being with her. He wondered if she would consider living with him. Perhaps he was jumping into things too soon. Still, when he thought of being with her, time didn't seem to go fast enough.
He had some time to kill so stopped at the office.
"Hey, boss! Whoa, what happened to you?" Crystal said jumping up from her chair.
"It's not as bad as it looks, but I was thinking I may need to take some more time off. Wouldn't really do to have our fans seeing me like this."
"You got it. I'll handle everything. You just give me the details and it's done," Crystal said following him into his office and sitting in the chair across from him with pen and pad in hand.
"Give me six weeks. That should be enough time for my arm to heal. The bruises and cuts will be long gone by then and hopefully, that will give me enough time to wrap things up with Debbie as well."
"She's not giving your trouble about the divorce is she?" Crystal asked thinking the woman crazy as Christian was making a more than a generous settlement on her. Especially considering that he had proof adultery.
"I really don't know. Not yet, but I'm sure we will find out soon enough. I'm heading over to my apartment to get changed before meeting with her and then I'll be going back to Philly. I'm already missing the rehearsal for this meeting and don't want to miss any more time."
Although the real reason he was eager to get back had very little to do with James and everything to do with Sheila.
"Is there anything else we need to go over," Christian asked Crystal gathering up his things to leave.
"No, things are pretty quiet and most people believe it's about time you've taken a vacation. The six weeks thing may be hard to explain but so long as we keep to the deadlines of your next book you should be good."
"Thanks, Crystal. I really don't know what I would do without you."
"Yeah, yeah, talk is cheap. I expect a really good birthday present this year," Crystal joked knowing Christian to be the kind of boss who is generous to a fault.
"Where am I meeting Debbie?" Christian asked grabbing his car keys and heading for the door.
"Her place."
This stopped Christian in his tracks. "Someplace neutral, I'm pretty sure I requested..."
"I tried boss. I really did but she pretty much said 'If he wants those papers signed he will be here.' I'm good but not a miracle worker."
"Okay, but instead of getting something exceptional you've been downgraded to just really good."
Christian knew how Debbie could be like when she made up her mind about something so it really wasn't her fault, but he had to tease her just a little, knowing she prided herself on perfection.
"Fine," she pouted slightly. "Hey, if I get you two more percent on your book deal can I pick out something at Tiffany's?"
"Deal," Christian said with a laugh as he headed out the door.
Christian lived in the upper west side of New York in a great old pre-war co-op with unobstructed views of the Hudson from every window. The architecture, in his opinion, is the most beautiful in the city. It's quiet and amazing and fairly easy to get around. When they were married, Debbie and him, owned a brownstone downtown but he left that to her to live in when they separated and made it part of the deal in the divorce.
He loved the idea of being in the city but having the parks and green space right outside his door just gave him the peace he was looking for. It seemed a great place to raise a family. Debbie wasn't too keen on the idea of children as she had her own career in fashion and it called her away almost as often as his work did.
Funny he hadn't really thought about that until now. They were married a few years but spent most of that time with other people, in other places. Perhaps that's what caused them to drift apart. Even when they were together the demands of their careers kept them from making any real connection. He always wanted children but she always put him off, now he was grateful, as a custody battle would have been the last thing he would have wanted, divorce was bad enough. He just wished she told him she was unhappy instead of sleeping with someone else.
He'll never forget the day he came home early hoping to surprise her from one of his tours. At first, he thought she wasn't home but knew she was in between shows. He came in dropped off his bag at the front door and called her name. When she didn't respond, he ran up the stairs to the bedroom figuring he'd get a quick shower and change. He thought perhaps if she stepped out, he would take her to her favorite restaurant for dinner when she returned. He knew she would like that and opened the door to his bedroom and found his wife straddled over some half-naked form. She screamed and nearly fell out of bed as the guy she was with pushed her off of him at the sight of Christian standing in the doorway. Christian had just turned around, walked back down the stairs, grabbed his bags and never returned to that house.
That was until today.
On his way to Debbie's, he got a text.
Debbie – Just let your self in. I'm waiting for you.
That made no sense to him. How was he supposed to let himself in? He texted back.
Christian – No key. What are you talking about?
Debbie – What happened to your key?
Christian- Not like I needed it anymore and figured you would have changed the locks by now.
Debbie- I'll leave the door open for you.
Christian just shook his head. What was she playing at? Why wouldn't she just answer the door when he got there? This was getting bizarre.
It wasn't long before he was standing on the step of his old home. He remembered the day he carried Debbie over the threshold. It bothered him that those thoughts still held the power to hurt him. Even though he no longer wanted to be with her, he still felt like he was sorting through the rubble of the aftermath.
"Debbie?" he said hollering her name as he entered.
"I'm up here," she hollered back from upstairs. "Why don't you come on up?"
"That's okay?" Christian said, "I'll wait." The very last thing he wanted to do was go up those stairs, too many memories; one of them destroyed all the others.
She descends the stairs dressed in a black lace negligee, black stiletto heels and silk black robe she left open, obviously so he could see her lingerie. With her dark hair down and about her shoulder she was a vision, but Christian felt too angry to notice.
"What the hell is this?" he demanded.
She ignored his question and came running up to him, "My God, Christian what happened to you?" she asked taking in his appearance. She touched his face and Christian winced but not from any physical pain.
He grabbed her wrist and pulled it way. "I ran into some trouble back home. It's nothing?"
"Were you mugged in Philly? I always hated that city," Debbie said.
Christian knew this as she would never come with him when he went back to see his folks. Of course, they have now retired to Florida but it bothered him he had to show up for every holiday and birthday party alone.
She hugs him around his waist and pulls herself in close to him. "I'm so glad you're okay." And then looking up into his eyes she adds, "I've missed you."
Christian scoffs at this. "Seriously. We've been separated for a year now and I would never know you knew I was alive, other than the call you gave my assistant demanding I see you all of sudden."
She didn't let go of him, and Christian just stood there like a tree and didn't touch her, waiting for her to let go. It took a moment or so and she finally backed away.
"I am here for the papers. Crystal said you would sign them if I showed up here, so here I am."
Debbie looked away, "Is that it? You just going to throw us away, without even considering giving me a second chance?"
Christian willed his anger to keep in check. "You slept with someone else!"
"I made a mistake. I'm not perfect, but..." she said reaching out to him again, "I love you."
Christian backed away from her touch. "What are you playing at Debs? You had plenty of chances to make things right if you wanted. You made no attempts until now, what's changed?"
She took a step closer to him, unshed tears filled her eyes, "I've changed." And she broke down and cried.
Christian could never stand the sight of a crying woman. It was his kryptonite. He felt it an unfair advantage that women had this power to use their tears against him. Still, he caved and gathered her to him.
She burrowed into his chest and her tears were wetting his shirt.
"Please stop," he begged, pulling her slightly away from him. She looked lost and oddly scared.
"What is going on really?" he said to her.
"I'm all alone. I can't believe you don't love me anymore. I could have sworn you still held some feeling for me?" she sniffed.
Up to a few days ago, she would have been right. He most likely would have felt overjoyed at her return and tumbled into bed with her, happy they have reunited once again. Now, everything had changed. Sheila had shown him, what he really wanted, what he felt he deserved and he wasn't about to give that up.
"You broke my heart," he told her. "I've found someone who can make me whole again. Sign the papers."
Debbie's demeanor completely changed from the defenseless, unloved woman to one who breathes fire. "You've replaced me? That quickly? How dare you? You never cared about me?"
"I loved you!" Christian fired back, "It wasn't me who decided to look elsewhere for love, you were the one who went sleeping around!"
"That was a one time deal and what do you expect when you are never here. I have needs you know! I didn't realize that to be married to you meant I had taken a vow of chastity!"
"I don't know about chastity, but what about being faithful?" Christian countered.
"Oh, like you weren't doing some chicks on the road?" she sneered.
"No, Debbie," Christian said getting right into her face. "I didn't."
Debbie stumbled backward as if his words somehow struck her physically. "Never?"
"Never," Christian said in a tone of finality that left no room for argument.
Debbie stumbled back a little bit further and sat down in a chair. Christian almost felt sorry for her, almost. "All that time?" she whispered. "I thought with all the time we spent apart that you had to be as lonely as me. That you had to have the same needs, wants...I figured there was no way you weren't sleeping around. You had to get satisfaction somewhere?"
"I did," Christian said sitting in the chair across from her. "I found it when I came home to you. I wanted you. I needed you. It felt good knowing you were the one I had to come home too. Knowing you were waiting for me, is what got me through the times I was away from you. That's why it destroyed me Debbie, to come home and to find you in bed with another man."
She hadn't realized, not until this moment what damage her actions caused. She just assumed he was playing around, that he was mad at her but she had always believed he'd take her back. Now she knew without a shadow of a doubt. It was over. "I'll sign the papers."
She got up slowly and walked over to the drawer and pulled the papers from it. She took a pen and signed in all the designated spots, and then handed them to him.
"Thank you," Christian said, taking them from her.
"For what its worth," Debbie said looking up at him, "I'm sorry."
Christian gathers her up in a hug. "You are worth loving, Debbie. You'll find someone. I have no doubt."
"Maybe," she said, " but I have a feeling I'm always going to regret the one I let get away."