‘Oh Citrus what am I going to do? I do love him so,’ she whispered softly. ‘But he belongs to another. He is betrothed to her, yet I wish he was mine.’ She sobbed her heart out to Citrus. As if consoling her, Citrus landed on her lap and chirped away noisily as if telling her to get over her moping.
‘Okay,’ she smiled, wiping away the tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘I will listen to you,’ she murmured. ‘You are a big fellow now right? I guess you are telling me to be a big girl right?’ she smiled. Citrus chirped again. ‘I have to go and do some work now, so I will see you later Citrus.’ He seemed to understand for he soared high up into one of the tree branches.
During her break, Natasha enthusiastically did more work on the gown. It was looking exquisite. The shimmering layers of grey began to take shape. She held the tiny bodice against her waist, it looked perfect. Layers and layers of silk cascaded to her ankles from the skirt. Unable to resist, when she stitched the bodice to the skirt, Natasha had to try it on. She closed the library door, quickly removed her day dress, and gently pulled the gown over her head. She wished there was a looking glass, but she would just have to wait till she got home.
Natasha twirled around and around and laughed softly. She felt like a princess. It was the most lavish and expensive material she had ever possessed. She loved how the dress hung on her slender body. She traced her hands down her hip and down the length of her leg. How she wished she was wearing it for Benedict and that he was going to embrace her in his arms.
She better stop wishing for the impossible, Natasha removed the dress and carefully folded it and slipped it into her purse. She could not wait to show it to Crystal. Natasha knew all the gentle ladies always looked superb in their fancy gowns, finally she had one exquisite dress that will allow her to hold her own against them.
Benedict worked the pitchfork in a frenzy. Sweat was gathering at his brow but he ignored it. The sun was beating like a blazing inferno. The stable felt like an oven, but he continued to work the pitchfork turning the soil like his life depended on it. He was angry, angry for the cruel fate that life had dealt him. Angry for the title that he carried, that forced a responsibility on him that was killing him inside. For the first time in his entire life, he resented being a Brinley. He had chased his grooms away from the stables, insisting on doing the manual labour himself. Needing solace, so he could give vent to the rage that was consuming him.
Why? Why had Natasha rejected him? Did she not realize what she meant to him? Did Natasha not realize his life without her, was like a life without any sunshine. Cold, miserable, and empty. He had to convince Natasha to attend his engagement party. He would not survive the night without her. He longed to look into her passionate eyes. He wanted to see her rosy red lips smiling at him, most of all he wished to have her gentle hands touching his face, brushing over his lips, just the way he loved.
‘My lord what are you doing here?’ Natasha demanded, never mind that it was his library.
‘This is for you,’ Benedict handed her a folded card.
‘Oh,’ Natasha murmured.
Is my services being terminated?
After reading through the invitation twice, Natasha looked up at Benedict pleadingly. ‘Please, ‘she spoke quietly, ‘you can not expect me to be here.’
‘I need you to be here Natasha. Please do not punish me by staying away.’
“‘Punish you” my Lord!’ Do you realise what you ask of me?’
Benedict closed the gap between then, ‘we will be there for each other,’ he murmured, taking her hands into his.
‘You will have to get used to it, because you will be married soon.’
‘Do not remind me,’ he cringed. Natasha almost felt sorry for the painful look that contorted his face.
‘Why does life have to be so cruel?’ he murmured throatily, wrapping his arms around her. ‘Had I never met you Natasha, I would have accepted my fate.’
‘My lord please do not make this so much harder than it already is,’ she pressed her palms against his chest in an attempt to push him away.
‘Do you know what torture it is to stay away from you Natasha, knowing you are right here under my roof?’
‘Perhaps I must stop working here, and I shall not attend this engagement party for you and Lady Louisa.
‘We shall not discuss this further Natasha,’ he instructed angrily.
‘Do not attempt to give me instructions my lord,’ Natasha slung her purse over her shoulder and stormed out. She did not let an insignificant matter like the fact that he was lord of the estate, deter her, nor the fact that he paid her a wage each week that qualified him to issue instructions to her.
Benedict slumped into the chair at his desk and covered his face with his hands.
Yes, I suppose I have no authority whatsoever over you Natasha. After all I can never legitimately enter into a relationship with you.
‘Oh my that looks delightful,’ Crystal exclaimed over Natasha’s shoulder. ‘Where on earth did you get that exquisite fabric?’ Crystal smiled.
Their relationship had developed since their heart to heart conversation. Crystal was exhibiting more sisterly traits that made Natasha warm up to her step sister.
‘Oh it is from London,’ Natasha spoke evasively, shifting up and making place for Crystal on the bed.’
‘Oh it is absolutely divine,’ Crystal sighed, running her fingers over the cloth. ‘Looks like it is almost completed.
‘I am just joining the bodice to the skirt and then I cannot wait to try it on,’ Natasha smiled.
‘I cannot wait to see you in it. Will you finish it tonight?’
‘I am rather tired now. Perhaps I shall finish it tomorrow---.’
‘Crystal, Natasha. Girls will you come downstairs.’ Natasha cocked her ear, listening to her step mother’s polite voice. Somebody had to be there. She never used such a polite tone of voice on Natasha.
‘Perhaps a suitor has come to make an offer for one of the Grayson girls, ‘Crystal giggled.
‘You take this one. I will accept the next,’ Natasha smiled, as she and Crystal walked down the stairs.
Crystal winked at Natasha as they spotted the visitor, ‘So I should take this one you said?’ Crystal whispered with a straight face. Natasha knocked her elbow into Crystal’s side.
‘Girls,’ Sophie smiled. ‘Lord Benedict has kindly come to issue an invitation.
‘Good evening Lord Benedict,’ Crystal offered him a charming smile, whilst Natasha remained silent and refused to meet Benedict’s eyes.
‘Good evening ladies,’ Benedict offered politely, yet unsmilingly. ‘My apologies for the short notice, I trust you will be free this Saturday evening.’
‘Lord Benedict, good evening,’ Daniel spoke from behind Benedict.
‘Daniel good evening, I have just come to issue an invitation to the ladies. Sophie passed the invitation to her husband.
‘Girls, I hope you are free. Daniel smiled at his daughters.
‘Yes I am,’ Crystal instantly agreed.
‘I promised Benjamin, I would take him to look at a horse, we may not be back in time,’ Natasha mumbled, still avoiding Benedict’s eyes. Now that she was earning sufficient money, she had decided to buy Ben a horse.
‘Nonsense, you cannot pass up an opportunity to a dance,’ Daniel disagreed. ‘You attend the party. I shall take Benjamin.’
‘It is settled then,’ Benedict smiled. ‘I shall send a carriage at six.’ This time Natasha glared at him, and caught a dancing glint of satisfaction in his eyes. ‘I must hurry back, excuse me,’ Benedict departed.
‘Oh Natasha, now you have the perfect occasion to wear that dress,’ Crystal whispered.
‘I donot care for that party. I actually donot wish to be in attendance where the rude Lady Louisa will be.’
‘She can be quite bothersome,’ Crystal agreed. ‘Oh but Lord Benedict has personally come to invite us. He must care about us being there,’ Crystal commented.
‘That is just because we live on his property. It was not too far for him to ride here. It is not like it was a five hour journey or something,’ Natasha replied.
‘Well I am looking forward to it,’ Crystal clapped her hands happily, although I am not sure what to wear.’
‘Well I do have the other gown that Lady Sadie gave me. It may need to be altered,’ Natasha offered.
‘Perhaps I can do something with it,’ Crystal suggested. ‘Maybe make a big ribbon bow for the waist, or add some black lace to the bodice.’
‘All right you decide what you would like to do with it, whilst I finish my gown then.’
‘Thank you Natasha. So you will be attending then?’
‘Father more or less instructed me,’ she pursed her lips. ‘I was so looking forward to seeing the look on Ben’s face when he got his very own horse.’
‘Oh Natasha, Father will make sure he gets the best horse. Surely you cannot find that more exciting than an opportunity to be with handsome young gentlemen of the peer.’
‘I am not interested in meeting any young men,’ Natasha dragged out. ‘I really wish I did not have to be there. You know I detest dancing.’
‘Will you ever lighten up Natasha? You are so young, why can you not allow yourself some pleasure? You can have fun, if you just allow yourself!’
I did sample a forbidden fruit, and now my heart is broken.
It was two o’ clock in the afternoon, four hours to the dreaded engagement party. Natasha was just washing up the lunch dishes when she heard lots of noises outside.
Whatever is going on?
She peeped out the window and saw an unfamiliar carriage with the most beautiful horses. Benjamin was enthusiastically jumping around as if somebody was giving him the birthday present of his life.
‘Benjamin, what is going on?’ Natasha asked cautiously.
‘These gentleman are delivering my horse,’ Benjamin exclaimed.
‘But papa was going to take you to purchase one,’ Natasha reminded him.
‘Good afternoon Miss,’ the one who seemed to be in charge addressed Natasha.
‘Good afternoon,’ Natasha replied.
‘We were requested by Mr. Grayson to deliver this stallion to his cottage,’ the man patted the neck of the most stunning chestnut coloured Arabian horse.
‘Are you sure it is the right one?’ Natasha enquired, ‘it looks rather expensive.’ Natasha was rather concerned that it was going to cost her much more than she wanted to spend on a horse for Ben.
‘Yes Miss,’ he removed the invoice from his pocket and studied it.
‘Yes Natasha, it is the one,’ Benjamin jumped up and down, impatient to take possession of the horse.
‘Do be quiet Ben,’ Natasha admonished. Benjamin held his hands together pleadingly, his eyes begging for her to conclude the transaction.
‘May I see the invoice?’ Natasha requested, silently hoping it was within her means to pay for the horse.
‘There you go Miss.’
Natasha was astonished at the price reflected on the invoice. Infact she was speechless. She looked at the man unbelievingly.
‘Sir, are you sure there is no mistake? Surely a horse this fine is worth three or four times more than what is reflected on the invoice.’
‘I assure you Miss, that is what we are instructed to collect from you,’ the man confirmed.
‘Natasha please---,’ Ben begged.
‘Benjamin, should I send the gentlemen away?’
‘No,’ he pouted, dropping his countenance.
‘Sir, everything seems to be in order. I will just fetch the money to pay you.’
‘Thank you Miss,’ he tipped his hat. Benjamin did a tap dance around Natasha, then went to hug his brand new Arabian race horse.
I wonder if father has already made a part payment towards the horse.
Natasha was astounded that such a beautiful race horse could cost so little. She hurried back with the money and completed the transaction. Ben flung his arms appreciatively around his sister’s neck.
‘Sir if there is any mistake, please return so we may remedy the situation.’
What Natasha was not aware of, was that Benedict has instructed the traders to deliver the horse at a discounted price. He had negotiated with them, paid three quarters of the asking price and had instructed them to make the invoice to the Grayson’s, for the balance remaining. Benedict had known, Natasha’s pride would not allow Ben to receive the horse free of any charges, so he had had a word with Daniel. He had informed Daniel that he would organize the horse and have it delivered. He had sworn Daniel and the traders to secrecy, about his involvement.
‘Yes Miss,’ he nodded. ‘Young Benjamin, be sure to enjoy the stud. He is a mighty fine horse.’
‘Thank you,’ Ben beamed, and immediately straddled his horse. ‘Come on Natasha, let me take you for a ride,’ Ben urged.
‘I--- no, maybe you should learn to master him first,’ Natasha advised. She had too painful memories of being on a horse with another male she would rather forget about.
‘Natasha, I am calling him Rusty, because of his colour,’ Ben enthused, oblivious to Natasha’s dilemma. ‘Now please just ride with me for just a short distance. Please Natasha.
‘Oh okay, just a short ride. You know I have to attend this party.’
‘Yes, yes hurry,’ he extended his hand for Natasha to hang onto. Natasha gripped Ben’s arm, and slid behind him onto the horse.
Is Rusty not amazing Natasha? Can I go a little faster?’
‘Not too fast please Ben. You and Rusty still need to get to know each other.’
‘Thank you Natasha. I love Rusty so much.’
‘Remember you need to take care of him. Brush him down. Feed his water and straw and make sure he is comfortable in the stable.’
Natasha brushed her hair repeatedly until it shone brightly as it cascaded over her shoulders. She added the final touches, of a very thin band sewn with a posy and clipped it to one side of her hair. Taking a huge breath she finally plucked up the courage to stand in front of the looking glass.
Her eyes widened as the image of the striking young lady reflected back at her. The shimmering gown clung to her as if it was stitched on her hourglass figure. Tonight she looked like a princess. As much as she pretended she did not want to, her glittering emerald eyes reflected her eager anticipation to see Benedict again. Her rosy red lips begged to be kissed tonight. Her normally pale cheeks were flushed as if it had been highlighted with a bright pink brush. Natasha’s skin glowed, from spending a whole hour in the bath. Tonight she looked like a bride herself.
‘Natasha,’ Crystal hugged her, ‘you look like a glamorous lady of the haute ton. ‘Every gentleman there tonight will want to offer for you,’ she sighed excitedly. ‘Oh Natasha, you are truly beautiful.’
‘I---thank you Crystal, but you know you are the beautiful one of the Grayson daughters,’ Natasha laughed. ‘And you do look so pretty tonight.’
‘No. Tonight, you have outdone yourself,’ Crystal acknowledged, walking around Natasha and admiring her sincerely.
‘Girls the carriage is here,’ Sophie called.
‘Let us go,’ Crystal grabbed Natasha’s hand, as they elegantly walked down the stairs.
Sophie was actually speechless, when her eyes rested on Natasha. She almost did not recognize her.
‘Does Natasha not look exquisite mamma?’ Crystal prompted.
‘I think grey is not her colour. With your blonde hair the grey would look better on you,’ her mother dragged out spitefully.
‘Oh mother, Natasha looks stunning. Surely you can see that,’ Crystal exclaimed.
‘I suppose so. You look delightful too darling.’
‘Let us go, Natasha urged irritatedly.
Natasha could feel her palms all sweaty, as she and Crystal were announced. Crystal smiled encouragingly at Natasha and tugged her arm, pulling her into the ball room, where all the guests were gathered. Nervous and not wanting to meet anybody’s eyes, she wanted to keep her head down, but a greater force beckoned her.
How she knew exactly where he was standing she did not know. Natasha did not notice every lady of the peer though stunningly dressed, had their eyes focused on her. Neither did she observe that conversations had stopped, to silently acknowledge the most strikingly beautiful lady in the exquisite grey figure-hugging gown. It was Crystal who had to accept the drinks from the serving waiter standing at their side, for Natasha’s eyes were rooted to the most handsome gentleman of the peer, dressed in his finest long tailored charcoal dress coat. Grey evening trousers tucked into his ankle high Hessian boots, and a very skilfully knotted necktie around his neck. Benedict looked adorable, so much so, her fingers clenched tightly, for they itched to reach out to him.
‘Thank you,’ Natasha smiled, as she accepted the glass from Crystal.
‘Miss Natasha, and Miss Crystal, you ladies look delightful.’
‘Your grace, you’re walking,’ Natasha found her voice.
‘Ah, if only I was forty years younger,’ he teased.
‘Ladies, you do look lovely,’ the duchess complimented.
‘Thank you your grace,’ Crystal smiled.
‘I hope you are going to save me a dance ladies,’ the duke teased.
‘With pleasure,’ Crystal smiled.
‘What about you Miss Natasha?’ the Duke taunted.
Natasha looked down, and nervously played with her glass.
‘Do not make her nervous,’ the duchess scolded her husband.
‘Go on then,’ he laughed, ‘go and mingle with them young ones.’
‘Ladies, good evening.’
Natasha gasped, her breath choked in her throat. When did he get to their side? Louisa was also next to him.
‘My lord good evening,’ Crystal chirped.
‘You both look absolutely beautiful tonight,’ Benedict spoke quietly.
‘Thank you my lord. Do you not think Natasha looks gorgeous? She made that herself.’
‘What!’ Louisa finding her voice almost choked on her drink. ‘I thought you made that for your sister?’ she reluctantly added.
‘No. My sister is very talented my lady,’ Crystal confessed. ‘She designed this dress herself.’
‘That is amazing! Darling do you not think?’ Louisa possessively clutched onto Benedict’s arm.
Observing that, Natasha shut her eyes for a split second, and immediately compelled her eyes to open again. She needed to be brave. She needed Benedict to go on with his life. She had to put on the best performance tonight.
‘It is a beautiful gown Miss Natasha,’ Benedict tried to make eye contact.
‘Thank you my lord. Congratulations on your betrothal my lady,’ Natasha directed her eyes at Louisa. Natasha observed Louisa’s gown did look fantastic on her just as she predicted.
‘Well yes. Finally, Lord Benedict has decided to make a decent lady of me,’ she leaned closer to Benedict. ‘He has kept me waiting for a very long time.’
‘Excuse me I see somebody, I would like to greet,’ Natasha escaped before she became sick. She recognized some of the young people she had previously met and began chatting to them. She smiled happily when Sir Tyndall and Viscount Randal greeted her enthusiastically.
‘Good evening gentleman. It is lovely to meet you again.’
‘Miss Natasha, you do look delightful,’ Viscount Randal’s eyes were undressing her.
I thought it was Crystal that you found attractive.
‘May I get you a drink Miss Natasha?’ Sir Tyndall tucked her arm in his and drew her away. Natasha observed an unpleasant glint in Viscount Randal’s eyes, as if he would be getting his just reward before the night is out.
‘It is lovely to see you again Sir Tyndall,’ Natasha smiled, happy to see a sincerely friendly face. Natasha quickly scanned the room, and saw Crystal was at Randal’s side, but his eyes were trained on Natasha. That revolting glint was still in his eyes, as his eyes met Natasha’s.
‘The pleasure is all mine Miss Natasha. I am sure I am the envy of every gentleman here tonight,’ he handed her a glass of wine.
‘You must introduce me to the delightful lady, Raleigh old chap,’ a young gentleman of about five and twenty joined them. Tyndall’s eyes duelled with the visitor for a millisecond before he gave in.
‘Natasha, meet the Duke of Stone Ridge, Henry Morden. Miss Natasha Grayson,’ Tyndall reluctantly completed the introduction, whilst Henry had his eyes fastened on Natasha.
‘Your grace, good evening,’ Natasha extended her hand unwillingly.
‘The pleasure is all mine, Miss Natasha,’ Henry held onto her hand, as his eyes dismissed Tyndall, who was outranked and bowed out gracefully, observing protocol.
‘Now why have I never met you before tonight Miss Natasha?’ Henry skilfully managed to place Natasha’s palm on his arm.
‘I am a servant in the Brinley estate your grace,’ Natasha murmured, hoping he would lose interest.
‘Nevertheless a most delightful rose bud,’ his eyes held hers like a magnet. ‘Shall we walk in the gardens Miss Natasha?’
She did not want to offend Benedict’s guest. Neither did she want to be in trouble with this duke, but the man was a snake. She longed to escape his undesirable paws. Her eyes searched around hoping to catch Benedict’s but he was in conversation with a gentleman about his father’s age. Help came from the most surprising source.
‘Darling, how wonderful of you to be attending,’ Louisa cooed.
‘Lady Louisa, it is always a pleasure, you know that,’ the snake smiled at her, turning on the charm.
‘You do look so handsome tonight,’ Louisa complimented Henry.
‘Ever the charming one my lady,’ Henry smiled.
‘Darling do allow me to borrow Miss Natasha for a minute,’ Louisa hurriedly marched her away. Natasha was unbelievably thankful for the escape, especially since she noted the annoyance in Henry’s eyes that his plan was thwarted.
‘So you designed this dress?’ Louisa wasted no time on preliminaries, her eye studying every detail of Natasha’s dress.
‘Yes my lady.’
‘I should have heeded your advice then, when I visited Crystal at your home.’
Natasha refused to comment, she remained quiet.
‘I thought Crystal was the designer in the Grayson home,’ she gave a bitter laugh.
Natasha did not want to let Crystal down, ‘we both love beautiful dresses my lady, and we both enjoy designing gowns.’
‘But Crystal could never illustrate something as exquisite as this from the patterns she showed to me. The only beautiful gown she has shown me, is the dusty pink one, she herself was wearing at the last party here,’ Louisa spoke disappointedly.
‘You look very beautiful tonight my lady. This gown, Crystal completed looks superb on you. I knew the satin would be a winner.’ She did not need to know that Natasha did most of the work on this gown.
Louisa touched her hand to her hair delightfully. She loved receiving compliments and she loved that she thought she was the fairest princess of them all.
‘I would like you to be the chief designer for my wedding trousseau.’
‘What!’
‘You are very talented. The fusion of the intricate design speaks of dedication, love and passion.’
Natasha could feel the colour flaming up her cheeks. She looked away uncomfortably.
‘Yes. I want you to design my trousseau,’ she repeated.
‘Sorry. I cannot,’ Natasha got out painfully.
‘But why? Lord Benedict would pay handsomely for your efforts.’
‘Lady Louisa, you were not interested in my advice when I made a proposal to you previously. You preferred Crystal’s designs. I happen to think she is good enough for you. I am not available---'
‘Lady Louisa may I have this dance,’ Henry extended his hand to her. She was not pleased to be interrupted, but agreed anyway. Natasha was feeling at the end of her tether. She longed to go home. She looked across the room and saw Benedict approaching her. Natasha quickly turned away and tried to escape, but her arm was caught in a steel grip.
‘Where are you running to Natasha?’
‘Away from you.’
‘Dance with me,’ he demanded.
‘No.’
‘I may never have an opportunity to have you in my arms ever again,’ he replied huskily.
‘Perhaps it is better that way my lord.’
‘You will not deny me Natasha,’ Benedict marched her onto the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. She heard him sigh, as he held her close to his body. ‘Natasha you look delightful,’ he whispered.
She looked up into his eyes, saw his pain, his frustration, his battle to do his duty as was expected of him. She saw a broken man. She longed to comfort him, but she dare not. He was not strong, she had to be.
‘It is a beautiful party,’ Natasha tried to make conversation.
‘You know I donnot care about any of it,’ he spoke angrily.
‘My lord please---it is best you keep away from me.’ Natasha directed her eyes at Louisa, she seemed to be delighted in the arms of the snake Henry. One would have thought she would only have eyes for her husband to be.
‘I observed Lady Louisa in conversation with you.’
‘I would have thought it a cruel sick joke, if I did not know better, but she asked me to design her wedding trousseau.’
Benedict groaned, ‘I am sorry Natasha. I hope you declined.’
‘Off course! Do you think I can design gowns for her knowing she is marrying the man---,’ Natasha tried to escape, but Benedict would not let her.
‘You have run away previously. I shall not allow it tonight.’
‘I cannot dance with you again. The guests will become suspicious.’
‘Could you meet me in the library Natasha?’
‘No my lord. It is too risky.’
‘You go first. I will follow a few minutes later. I will lock the door behind us.’
- end chapter fourteen-