Killian's POV
I felt so horrible. Nothing right now could replace my mood. I felt hopeless and scared for Emma. This was the second time she miscarried and i couldn't support her because i didnt know how to.
They wanted Emma to go get a c-section later in the day. I was allowed to go in and be with her. It was nerve wrecking. To know that they are all doing this for our little angel.
I still haven't gotten over how i will never meet our baby and teach he or she to talk, crawl or walk. It was heartbreaking.
Emma was still asleep as i lay beside her. She rested her head in the crook of my neck whilst i wrapped my arms around her stomach. She breathed into my neck which relaxed me to hear her sleeping as i knew once she woke up she would be stressed and upset.
My aunt had brought Henry and Liam to her house last night to stay for the rest of the week. They briefly know what's going on but i didnt want them to know too much.
Soon Emma woke up and she hadn't forgotten what had happened yesterday. She was silent and i break a smile and kiss her. She just tries to smile back but it wasnt working. She snuggles into me again as she knows exactly what happens now. The c-section.
At around 12pm they started her on drugs to numb her from her chest down so she didn't feel anything. They were still debating if they were going to but her asleep for it but Emma didnt mind. She just wanted to meet her little one. Even if it wasnt there to smile at her.
Unfortunately at 1pm Emma was to be wheeled into theatre. I got suited up and followed them in holding her hand the whole time. When they stop they start prepping her. Emma herself had decided that she wanted to be put asleep as she couldnt bear the whole thing over again.
A nurse placed a mask on her and turned it on.
"Take a deep breathe and count to ten."
"One, two, three , fo...four, fi...ve, si"
Before she reached six she was out. I held her hand still as they began the surgery.
It was an excruciatingly painful wait. But at 2:17pm our baby was born. They stitched Emma up and brought the baby away to check if it was definitely a miscarriage. They brought Emma back to her room and i sat beside her until she would wake.
Emma's POV
"One, two, three, fo....four, fi.....ve, si"
Blackness, i remember nothing but blackness.
I wake up and im in my hospital bed again. I stare up at the ceiling as tears run down my cheek. My stomach feels empty and i feel a failure. I do however feel Killian still stroking my hand.
I look over and yet again without fail he is smiling. But not because he was happy, because he was trying to be strong..... For me. But I've known him for too long and i know when he is trying to be strong, but inside he is really wanting to burst into tears. He stands up and hugs me then sits beside me in the bed.
"They will be bringing the baby in soon, so we can say goodbye."
"I dont want to say goodbye. Its too much Killian."
"If you really dont want to that's okay. But is it okay if i meet him or her? It would mean alot to me."
"Of course Killian."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The door opened and a nurse walked in with the baby wrapped in a white blanket. She tried to smile a sympathetic smile then shook her head.
"Ms.Swan, Mr.Jones. This is your son, your little angel."
Killian covered his mouth with his hand and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Can i hold him?"
"Yes of course"
She placed our son into his arms as Killian began to cry. I too cried at the sight of seeing Killian so emotional over our little boy.
"My sympathy goes to you both. I'll give you sometime alone."
She walked out quietly as Killian sat down in the chair staring at our baby. He cried for the longest time. I finally picked up to courage to see my son.
"Killian.... Can.... Can i hold him?"
"Emma of course you can."
He stood up and placed the baby in my arms. He was so tiny, much much more tinier than Henry and even Keeley. I began crying at the sight of him. He didnt have very many features as he was under developed and he was only 5 months. But gosh did he look like Killian. His nose, chin and lips. He was perfect and i was never going to meet him. My heart sank to my stomach. I cried so hard that it felt normal. Killian sat beside me on the bed and took my hand. He kissed my forehead as we stared at our little angel.
"Alex"
"What?"
"His name, his name is Alex."
"Alex it is then. I love it Emma."
"Our little Alexander"
"Emma, i need to thank you."
"For what?"
"For saying yes."
I look down and realise he is staring at my hand, my ring. I lean my head on his shoulder as we cherish our little boy.
| Im sorry for the short chapter but i didnt know what to write!!! These chapters just get more emotional everytime i write them and i want to cry so much ahhh!
Hope you liked it though!|