Ram
I dreamed I was in a very dark place. At bukod sa alam kong isang panaginip lang yun, dala ng fogs na madalas effects sa mga panaginip ko, alam ko rin na parang may nawawala. May hinahanap ako na hindi ko makita. No matter how much I tried to find it, I just couldn't and it left wrenching feeling in my heart. An emptiness I couldn't seem to fill.
That gnawing feeling persisted and I struggled to find what is it that's missing. Ano yun? Ano yung nawala sakin na kailangan kong hanapin? It was as if that something lost is a part of me, like a limb, like a vital organ. Like I'm missing a heart or my lungs. Like I would never be whole again, without it.
"Charlie.." I whispered in my dream.
That was when the realization dawned on me. I couldn't find her, and it was hurting me, it's as if I couldn't breathe. Air was knocked out of me and I felt dizzy. Disoriented even.
It was like dying.. A very painful way to die..
I woke up with a sudden jolt and found Charlie's side of the bed empty. That had me bolting upright. Only to see her putting on her bra at the edge of our bed. But even after seeing her, my heart still pumped furiously against my chest, I could even hear it in my ears. I tried to drink the sight of her in, silently telling myself to calm the f*ck down. She's here. There's no need to worry.
"Are you okay?" hindi ko napansin na nakatingin na pala siya sakin na punong puno ng pagtataka ang mukha.
I took a deep breath. Pakiramdam ko may nakadagan na kung ano sa dibdib ko, at hanggang ngayon, kahit na alam kong narito siya, hindi parin iyon mawala wala. "Yeah," I managed to tell her.
Nagkibit balikat lamang siya pero bago siya tumayo ay lumapit ako para yakapin siya nang sobrang higpit. I buried my face in the crook of her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair. I wanted a fill of her, I wanted to reassure myself that it was just a dream and she was really here with me. And that she's not going anywhere, she wouldn't be leaving me.
"Baby, okay ka lang ba?" I felt her hand on my head, brushing my hair. "Pinapakaba mo 'ko."
I just went on creepily sniffing on her bedroom hair. Mas hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap ko hanggang sa feeling ko nakarecover na 'ko sa nakakatakot na panaginip na yun. I tried feeling her bare tummy with the palm of my hands, nagtungo naman ang kamay ko sa buhok niya para hawiin iyon, and then I planted soft kisses on her nape.
"Okaaay.. So, you're creeping me out already, Ram." she said in a shaky voice. Inabot niya ang batok ko ay pilit na pinipigilan ang paghalik ko. "Aramis.." she scolded.
But she cannot easily put me off. I spun her head around and kissed her plump lips. Paulit ulit. "I love you. I love you." I repeatedly said, with each kisses. "I love you so much, Charlie."
"I love you more.." she stared longingly into my eyes. Hinaplos niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko. I knew she was trying to figure me out.
"Stop looking at me like that, I'm fine, I'm good." I reassured her, refusing to sound like a pussy kung ikukwento ko pa sa kanya ang walang kwentang panaginip ko.
"Sure? Daig mo pa kasi ang binabad sa suka kanina eh, ang putla mo?" she brushed her fingers across my lips and my cheek. "Are you sick, baby?"
I rolled my eyes at her. "No, seriously I'm fine. Don't get your red head all worked up, alright?" muli kong kinintalan ng halik ang labi niya.
She smiled at me. At sapat na iyon para mawala ang mga pangamba sa isipan ko. This woman loves me as much as I love her. She was with me through all the difficulties of our relationship. She's mine and she's not going anywhere far from me. I'm not letting her.
Bubusugin ko siya sa pagmamahal. I will fill her with so much love there'll be no more space for anything or anyone but me.
I smiled back at her and took her hand in mine. Hinila ko na siya patayo sa kama at palabas sana ng kwarto namin, pero hinigit niya ang kamay ko pabalik, kaya naman nilingon ko siya.
"Uhh.. You might wanna put some clothes on, baby." inginuso niya ang kahubaran ko at ngumisi sakin.
"What?" I let her hand go, faced her and held my arms out, I flashed her a naughty grin. "Hindi lang naman ikaw ang pwedeng magdisplay ng katawan dito."
I couldn't help but laugh as she looked at me from head to foot. Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa gitnang parte ng katawan ko. Kumislot ang pagkalalaki ko nang makita ko siyang kagatin ang pang ibaba niyang labi. At mukhang alam ko na kung saan mauuwi ito..
I came to her and cupped her face with both hands and hungrily brought her lips to mine. I had to fight myself not to crush her to death as she pressed her flat stomach into my already pulsating with anger, erection. She groaned and bit my lower lip and I took the opportunity to plunge my tongue inside her mouth.
God! She tasted so good! I gripped her ass and pulled her closer to my hip. Kapalit nun ay napaungol naman siya sa bibig ko. We were both reluctant to pull away but we had to breathe. So, my lips dropped to her neck instead, nipping and sucking my way down to her sexy collar bone.
Dahil mas maliit si Charlie sakin, kinailangan kong yumukod ng kaunti. I hitched the back of her knee and lifted her so she could wrap her legs around my waist. My hands found her still panty clad bottom and pressed her even more to my erection. Naglakad ako patungo sa nakasarado pang pinto at isinandal siya roon.
It made a loud bump na siyang nagpatawa sa kanya. I mumbled sorry and went on licking her neck. "Ram.." ungol niya. "Sh*t." I pulled away slightly and watch as she fumbled with the lock of her bra. Halos maglaway ako nang tumambad sa harapan ko ang dibdib niya. Agad ko iyong sinibasib ng halik.
The feeling of rolling her pink nipples in my tongue made my mind go a little blurry. Nag-iinit ng husto ang pakiramdam ko, that all I ever think about is getting myself inside her and feel her warmth, her tightness. "Ram! Ohh baby!" she screamed as I sucked on her tips. Damn! She's making it hard form me to breathe whenever she utter my name out loud. Telling me to suck on her tits. Telling me to suck harder. Telling me, "Ram.. Ang sarap.."
My other hand reach down to feel her wetness, nanatili naman ang isang nakasapo sa pangupo niya. I pushed aside her panties and touched her there..
"Ohh f*ck!" she threw her head further back.
F*ck talaga! She was soaking wet and I had this urge to taste her down there, but I know we have not much time left. So, I rocked my hips into her bumping into her hot and ready core. "Ohh! Ram-please!" she begged. Her eyes were tightly closed and her arms woved tighter on my neck.
"Please what?" I whispered hoarsely as I rubbed my erection to her pussy. Damn! Nanginginig ang mga kalamnan ko! Lalo na nang umungol siya nang malakas. I nearly lost it.
"F*ck me, babyy.." my hands tightened its grip on Charlie's butt. It almost tipped me over the edge. I love it when she talks dirty, it turns me on.
I teased her some more, by inserting the head of my erection and withdrawing it almost immediately. "How do you want me to do that, Charlie?" halos humulagpos narin ang pagtitimpi ko sa ginawa ko, but I like it better when she's wild. And she becomes bolder whenever I tease her like that.
She let out a whimper. "Hard please, Ram!"
"Tell me.."
"F*ck me hard!" she screamed and I know she couldn't hold off anymore.
And so I did what I was told. I rammed her to the door and pushed my hips forward, entering the paradise..
We were both breathing heavily as I put her down against the wall. She was smiling sheepishly as she leaned close to my chest. Nakahawak siya nang mahigpit sa braso ko, marahil nanghihina parin ang mga tuhod niya. She came twice. I mentally patted myself on the back. Way to go, Ram!
Pinilit kong buhatin siyang muli patungo sa kama, kahit pa nangangatog din ang tuhod ko. I had to clean her up. Isa yun sa mga bagay na gustong gusto kong ginagawa para sa kanya. And by the way she gazes at me lovingly everytime I do that, alam kong gusto rin niya yun.
Inilapag ko siya sa kama at kumuha ng towelette at binasa iyon ng kaunti sa loob ng cr. Pagbalik ko ay nakahiga parin siya dun at nakangiti sakin. I don't know what it is about her smile that sends my heart into overdrive. Tuluyan na talagang binaligtad ng babaeng ito ang buhay ko. I joined her in our bed and started cleaning her up.
"What?" I asked her, nakatitig parin kasi siya sakin at nakangiti ng nakakaloko.
"It's your birthday tomorrow." she stated.
"Oo nga no?"
"Nakalimutan mo?" kumunot ang noo niya at bumangon para tumabi sakin.
"Kidding." I grinned at her. Syempre naman at hindi ko nakalimutan ang birthday ko. I was actually planning on getting the best birthday gift ever from her. I grinned even wider. My idea's sounding better and better, habang papalapit ang kaarawan ko.
"Do you have plans already?" she eagerly asked me.
"Yup! Nothing much, though." inakbayan ko siya at hinalikan sa sentido. Siya naman ay inilapat ang pisngi sa balikat ko. "Just us and Mom and Dad and Adri. I don't want a big production out of it."
"But you're used to having huge parties during your birthdays? Dati nga daw pinasara n'yo ang buong hotel ni Caleb just to accommodate all your guests."
Natawa naman ako. That was, I guess, five years ago? That was so childish. I invited all our friends from college - people from the states - It was an all expense paid trip, courtesy of course, of me. Wala lang akong mapagtapunan ng pera noon. Iyon ata ay pagkatapos ng unang karerang pinalanunan ko. Like I said, it was so childish of me.
"I don't like parties anymore, honey. I just want a private celebration with my family. Pwede naman 'yon diba?" hinapit ko siya palapit sa katawn ko. "I won't even invite my friends." Napangisi ako. Siguradong kagagalitan ako ng mga tukmol na 'yon.
Ngumiti siya at hinalikan ako sa balikat. "Fine. Just a small gathering then."
"Uh huh." iniimagine ko na sa isip ko ang mga mangyayari bukas. At sobrang nasasabik na 'ko. I squeezed her arms and planted another kiss on her temple. This is going to be fantastic.
***
Charlie
See you at mom's at 7pm. Excited to see you wearing this.
Napangiti ako matapos kong basahin ang note na nakaattach sa isang box na dineliver sakin kanikanina lang. I opened it and found a little black dress inside. Mas lumuwag ang ngiti ko as I held the dress in front of me. It was so lovely.
Nakakainis lang dahil kung sino pa ang may birthday, siya pa ang may regalo sakin.
Ram made me swear, on my knees, that I won't buy or make some sort of gift for him on his birthday. Sinabi niya sakin na magagalit talaga siya nang husto pag sumuway ako sa gusto niya. Kaya naman itinabi ko na lang ang Omega watch na binili ko nun nakaraang linggo pa para sa birthday niya. Baka sa anniversary na lang namin ko ibigay iyon.
I never understand Ram's aversion to gifts anyway, I actually asked his parents kung inayawan din ba ni Ram ang regalo nila pero sabi nila sakin, wala naman sinabi si Ram so they already bought him one.
So, mamaya.. Ako lang ang mukhang engot na walang regalo para sa kanya. Great. Ano na lang ang iisipin ng magulang niya? Na kuripot akong girlfriend?
It was already five in the afternoon when I left the office. Ang sabi ni Ram, mauna na lamang ako sa mansion at didiretso na lang siya dun dahil magmumula pa daw siya sa race track. Sobrang obssessed talaga ng lalaking yun sa pangangarera kaya kahit birthday niya, mas gusto pa yata niyang doon i-celebrate.
Oh well, whatever. It's his birthday, so he gets his own way.
Kaya naman umuwi muna ako sa apartment para mag-ayos. I put on the black dress he gave me and arranged my hair in a sophisticated bun. I kept my make up into a minimum, tutal dinner lang naman with his family 'to at hindi isang social gathering. Pati sa accessories tamed ako, so I just wore some drop earrings and a chanel bracelet.
By 6pm, I was ready to go. Lulan ng bago kong truck, tinahak ko ang daan patungo sa mansion ng mga Sobrevega.
Everything was ready when I got there. Nakahanda na ang mga pagkain sa hapag at nakabihis na rin sina tita Meredith. Adri was gushing about how gorgeous I look in my black dress. All the time she was staring at me with awe, hindi ko na nga maiwasan ang magblush eh.
"Wait till Kuya sees you!" napakagat siya sa ibabang labi niya. "He would die! Oh my gosh! Kailangan ko 'tong makita!"
I was being smothered by tita Meredith and Adri when we all heard the familiar sound of Ram's jaguar. We all got on our feet as we waited for the guards to open the gate. Nang marinig namin ang pagsara ng pinto ng kotse niya ay agad kaming lumapit sa main door para salubungin siya at sabay sabay kameng bumati ng, "Happy Birthday!"
His looks were slightly disheveled when he came, hindi naman siya mukhang pagod but it looks like something was bothering him, or he was nervous about something. I don't know. Basta lumapit na lang ako agad sa kanya. Damn, kahapon pa siya nagkakaganito. He's been out of his wits the whole day. Nag-aalala na 'ko. "What's wrong baby, are you okay?"
"Yes!" pilit siyang ngumiti sakin at hinapit ako sa bewang. "Of course, honey! It's my birthday! I'm perfectly okay! Why wouldn't I be okay?" Even his laugh sounded so off.
Kumunot ang noo ko sa reaksyon ni Ram. Okaaay. So, something was definitely wrong. Kilala ko si Ram, he never loses his cool, unless may dapat talaga siyang ikakaba. I looked at his parents, pero nag-iwas lang sila ng tingin. Kay Adri naman ako bumaling and she just shrugged. What the hell is happening? Am I missing something?
Tila napansin ata ni Ram ang pagkabalisa ko kaya hinigpitan niya ang pagyakap sa bewang ko. He then planted a kiss on my temple. "Don't get all worked up, honey. I'm fine, I'm just a bit tired, okay?"
I just nodded and we all went to the dining area para sa hapunan. Hindi ko binibitawan ang kamay ni Ram, maging ang paningin ko ay hindi ko inaalis sa kanya. Hindi ko alam pero parang may mali talaga, like there's something na dapat kong malaman, at hindi ako mapakali ng dahil dun.
I was deep in my thoughts, I didn't notice Ram stopping on his tracks. Umikot siya para tingnan ako. "W-What?" I asked.
"You do realize you look stunning tonight, right?" nakangiting sabi niya habang hinahaplos ang mukha ko. His eyes seem to bore holes through me. Langya, why does he have to be so darn handsome? Sa sobrang gwapo niya nakalimutan ko na kung ano yung iniisip ko kanina. "I knew this would look perfect on you." he said as he stare down at my outfit.
"Thank you.." sabi ko at napakagat sa labi ko.
He pressed his lips on my forehead and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Let's go have dinner?"
I smiled as I followed him to the dining, though I still have this nagging feeling that something was so wrong. Lalo na nang ngitinan niya ko kanina na hindi naman umabot sa kanyang mga mata.