The next morning when he gets to the base, bright and early at oh-eight-hundred, David meets General Abner in a hallway close to David's office. He can't bring himself to be surprised when the General stops him, pulling him into a smaller, less-frequented break room nearby. "There are a lot of eyes on you, soldier," he says, and David nods and represses the urge to say, tell me something I don't know.
"I'm doing my best, sir," David says, and Abner nods, eyes piercing David like arrows as he tries to get a look at David's soul.
"Your report was good. A little sparse, but good."
"Not much happened yesterday, sir," David says. "I can only go so far with embellishing before it becomes a lie."
Abner purses his lips. "You better watch it, David—"
"Captain!"
Abner steps away as David turns and doesn't let his sigh of relief escape. Eleazar to the rescue. "I'll talk to you later," the General says, and David doesn't doubt it. By the time that Eleazar gets to him, Abner is long gone in the direction that he came from.
"You alright?" Eleazar says, skipping the pleasantries and looking just over David's shoulder. He's trying not to read David, which David appreciates very much; one of his least favourite things in the world is when his friends pretend they're shrinks.
"Yeah, I'm alright. Just Abner being Abner. 'S alright."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." But David does a quick self-evaluation anyways, judging how sweaty his palms are and how much his stomach is rolling and whether or not his thoughts are even allowing him to make the observations in the first place. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Eleazar makes smiling look really easy. "Alright."
-
The day passes in a blur, and before David dismisses everyone he takes a poll on what they should do with their first ever bonding weekend. The majority are split between two choices, camping and sailing, and they're split for a long time by the time they vote but Benaiah must have done some pretty persuasive talking when David wasn't around because the numbers for sailing, when he counts the votes, are significantly lower than they had been.
Either that or Benaiah rigged it. The fact that there's the correct number of votes doesn't mean a thing; Benaiah is still among the stealthiest men in their unit, if not the stealthiest. He could muck with the vote somehow. He sends in the request for leave Thursday before he leaves and it's sitting in his inbox early Friday morning; he prints it off and puts it in his pocket for safekeeping.
They leave around noon, once everybody is finally accounted for on base. It's a disaster and a half, of course; it rains a lot, half of the unit didn't bring enough clothes because they didn't count on this much rain, and the sound of rain on a tarp isn't the most conducive sound to fall asleep to. They get over their grumbling early in the weekend, though, and by the time the end of their excursion comes along they're doing things that definitely won't be making it home, never mind into any official report. Not even Jonathan will hear, even if Jonathan is at his most determined.
During their last supper, before they load the vehicles and head home, Benaiah holds up his bottle of beer in a mockery of a toast. "To David and his mighty men!"
David is taking a sip of his pop when Benaiah speaks; the pop makes a quick exit from his nose. "What? Benaiah, no—"
But the men cheer, the sober ones more subdued than the slightly intoxicated ones but they all still cheer. David says, "I object."
Benaiah says, "You can't. We voted and this is a democracy."
To make things worse, Eleazar says, "It's true. I counted. It was a landslide. You were the only one who voted in the negative."
"I didn't even vote—"
"We presumed," Benaiah says. "Correctly, based on your reaction."
And David really, really wants to be mad at them both, or at least Eleazar because he's supposed to be responsible, but they're so painstakingly earnest that it shocks a laugh out of him instead. "To me and my mighty men," he agrees when he regains control and hey, he's in charge of a bunch of crazy people but he can't say he's not going to enjoy every minute.
-
They get back near midnight. There's an agent in the garage at the base waiting for him. David's men are confused, clearly so, but Jashobeam, Eleazar, Uriah, and Benaiah do damage control as David is rushed away. He can't let them have all the fun, though, so he shouts, "Don't party too hard!" over his shoulder before he gets into the back seat of the car.
General Abner is there. General Abner is distinctly unimpressed.
"We've been trying to contact you for the past two hours."
"Two hours and he didn't come out of it?" David says, stupid and high on the adrenaline and endorphins. He sobers pretty quickly at the stink eye the General gives him, though. "Sorry, sir. We've been out of cell range. Bonding time."
"Did you get clearance for this bonding time?"
"Yes, sir. Got the confirmation for it Friday before we left." It's taken up residence in his pocket the entire weekend, and the dirty and crumbling piece of paper he pulls out of his pocket now is a mere shadow of the pristine white page that he printed off Friday morning. All of the important things can still be made out, though, if the way General Abner's brow furrows is any indication.
"This won't be happening again," Abner says. He doesn't give back the piece of paper.
"What if I'm on patrol?"
"Then I guess there's nothing we can do. But otherwise, no more weekend escapades."
"What I do on my own personal time is none of your business," David says, trying to stay aloof and calm and failing, and Abner says, "There's no such thing as personal time for you."
David has no witty response to that because he knows it's true. "So," he says instead, moving on, trying to recover quickly from the blow. "The President's been out of it for two hours?"
General Abner purses his lips but accepts the change. "Yes. When it was clear that you weren't in range, we tried to get a doctor in to sedate him."
"Tried?"
"He's too rowdy, energetic. Acting like a cave man."
"You're kidding."
"I wish."
General Abner, indeed, is not bluffing. But President Saul doesn't do anything other than dance around David in a half-naked craze while David concentrates on the ground and plays, the Presidential Guard agent at the door muffling his laughter into his sleeve. Whatever, let the agent laugh; Saul is down for the count in fifteen minutes, the fastest that he's ever been, and David's too tired to marvel at it. Tired enough that he doesn't even realize that he's fallen asleep until he wakes up in his bed the next morning, alarm blaring, confused because the last place he'd been was definitely the President's room.
He stretches, turns off his alarm, and secretly hopes that Abner was the one tasked with carrying David back to his room. The worst part is that David doesn't feel like he got any sleep, so when he gets to his office and Jash, Eleazar, Uriah, and Benaiah are waiting for him he looks bad enough for Benaiah to hand David his coffee and say, "You need it more than I do."
"Be quiet, Benaiah," David says before he takes a long drink.
Benaiah rolls his eyes. "Yes sir, bossman."
-
When word of what David's men have decided to call themselves leaks out, it snowballs in a spectacular fashion. As they go on more missions and their names start to have more and more weight attached to them, David and his men become known as one entity—David and his mighty men, a singular unit standing up for their country and rolling over the armies of the Philistines. David knows that he's the leader but he hates that his name is the only one that's known, that people won't look further into it and learn more about the other men that make this possible unless it's for a school report or something.
David hates that they won't ever know the importance of those other men, how Jashobeam is a big part of organizing the men and making sure that every cog in the machine is working smoothly, how Eleazar is the quiet one who is key in developing their strategies, how Benaiah is the joker that keeps the meeting room light but brings his all to the battlefield and how Uriah is the one who talks him down.
They're not completely ignored; David knows this because Abishai and Joab email him a link to all of the articles written about David and his mighty men and David reads every single one. However, short of letting a TV crew follow them around and tape them all hours of the day and night, David suspects that the public will never truly get an idea of what it's like.
David draws the line at the TV crew. He doesn't want a TV show, and he's already had to turn down two offers. He's not a member of the army to be famous, he's a member of the army to work, defend his country. That stupid song (which is still getting air time) is bad enough, thank you very much.
Jonathan tends to stay away from the papers at the advice of his personal advisor, especially as his father's popularity plummets. However, it doesn't prevent him from reading the comics in the Sunday paper, the day that there's two whole pages devoted to them and they're all in colour. One Sunday shortly after the name explodes in David's face Jonathan is doing just that as they eat breakfast, scanning over the comics and giggling every now and then. Today the comic section is looped in with the current events section, and on the front page of the current events section is a picture of David and his men on base after returning from yet another successful mission.
Jonathan always skims the section that the comics are in. David knows that it's only a matter of time. He sips at his coffee as Jonathan works his way down the second page of comics before turning to the front page of the entire section and, sure enough—
"David's mighty men?" One of Jonathan's eyebrows has hiked up his forehead as he reads the front page, smirk planted firmly on his face. "Is that the press, or—"
"Benaiah," David says. "It was Benaiah, but he says that they voted."
"When?"
"At a point over our camping trip when I wasn't around." Another sip of his coffee. "Eleazar counted. I might never forgive any of them."
And Jonathan, who knows that David never wanted the fame or the fortune or even the recognition, just laughs at the forlorn expression on David's face. David, clearly, needs a new best friend.
-
When David gets back from his latest campaign—successful, like all of his campaigns seem to be thanks solely, David knows, to God—Saul requests and audience with him. General Abner, as always, is the one to deliver the request, and David really wants to take a rain check because he's tired and hungry and he would really like to get out of his fatigues and shower. The look on Abner's face, however, tells David in no uncertain terms that there is no chance of that happening, so David follows.
There are two people in the President's office when he arrives: President Saul, who looks quite pleased with himself, and Jonathan's older sister Merab, who looks distinctly less than pleased. Abner takes his place by the door as David steps forward, stopping in front of the President's desk in parade rest. "You wanted to see me, sir?"
Saul's grin isn't quite dangerous, but there's something there that puts David on edge. "David," he says, "you're like a son to me. You've done very well in the Elite Forces and you're a calming influence on Jonathan—Lord knows he needs it."
Saul laughs. David keep his expression neutral.
"It's an honour to serve you and our country, sir," David says, and Saul's clap is loud and unexpected enough that even makes Merab, keeping up her silent protest behind her father, flinch.
"And that's what I like about you, son," Saul says, and David doesn't know what's up with the son gambit but, with Merab in the room, he doesn't like the implications. "Your attitude is so different than what I'm used to and I would like to give you a gift, in recognition of how well you have served me thus far and in the hopes that you will continue to serve me in the same way well into the future."
There are many distinct ways in which this does not end well, and they are all flashing before David's eyes. "What kind of a gift, sir?"
Saul waves a hand. Merab, visibly reluctant, steps forward. "Well, my eldest daughter's hand in marriage, of course!"
That was the outcome that had taken residence in the forefront of David's mind as soon as he'd seen Merab was in the room and Saul had said the word "gift". To extrapolate from the data received and to hear it straight, however, are two different things and David's pretty sure he's as thrilled as Merab is in that moment. Like, Merab is pretty, but—no. Just, no.
He can feel Abner's stare burning a hole in the back of his head, hears the words that the good General would say if they were alone:
Don't mess up.
"Sir," David says, apologizing as loudly as he mentally can to Abner, "don't be mistaken, I am honoured to be presented with this—gift," Merab sticks her tongue out at him, "but who am I and who is my family that I should become the President's son-in-law? I have nothing to offer you except for what I've already given."
Saul's smile diminishes and his eyes harden and David thinks, So that's how it is and please don't relapse.
"It's perfectly alright, David," Saul says, his tone contradicting his words. "Gifts can be declined. I will find a way to reward your loyalty to me yet. You're dismissed."
-
Merab finds him that night before dinner, cornering him in the hallway near his room. He's still tired and hungry but he's showered; the shower, however, is negated by the fact that Jonathan had interrogated him in regards to what took him so long to get back and David's really not up to sharing, not even with his best friend.
"You didn't have to do that," she says.
"I think I did."
"He's not going to stop. Michal thinks that she's in love with you. He's not above taking advantage of that, once he finds out."
"I know."
"It wouldn't be wise of you to deny him twice."
David says, "I know," because sometimes Jonathan's siblings—even Jonathan—forget that David knows a heck of a lot more about their father's situation than the rest of the household, the rest of the country, does. He's been playing for Saul since he was fourteen, and he thought that Saul would eventually take issue with him and his playing and the role that he plays but he didn't think it would take the President this long.
He doesn't know that David's going to be President one day, of course not. But there are a lot of other things that wouldn't exactly make Saul David's number one fan.
Silence. David thinks that the conversation is over, and prepares to walk past Merab, but then she says, "David."
"Yeah?"
"I—I'm in love. Not with you."
David snorts. "I hope not."
He looks Merab fully in the face, and her makeup is starting to run and her shoulders are slightly hitching but she's smiling. "I know—I know that you're Jonathan's best friend, and that you don't really talk to the rest of us and I don't know how much he's told you about us, but he has told us a lot about you. And when my dad called me in there and told me about his plan, I—I didn't think that you'd have the guts to stand up to him, despite Jonathan's stories." She smiles, gentle. "I'm happy to have been proven wrong."
"Thank God," David says, defaulting a bit but it's true. It's God who made him, to God be the glory.
Merab laughs. "Oh, I will."
At her wedding two months later to Adriel, one of her best friends since childhood according to Jonathan, Merab hugs David quickly in the receiving line and whispers in his ear, "Thank you."
David squeezes her and lets her go.
-
David's not above admitting that he prayed, more than once, that Saul wouldn't find out about Michal's crush on him. It's not that he doesn't like Michal because he does, she's Jonathan's little sister and quite important to him because of that alone, but he doesn't know her at all. He definitely doesn't love romantically, her never mind want to marry her. She might love him but he doesn't love her and Michal deserves a guy who can love her back.
It happens a lot like last time. Abner is waiting for him when David gets back from a mission. He is marched, sweaty and disgusting and hungry and tired, to Saul's office. Saul is waiting for him, looking even more pleased with himself. Michal is there as well, and where Merab had been distinctly unimpressed Michal is doing her best to look even more thrilled than her father and, frighteningly, she's almost succeeding.
He's torn between throwing up and running away in terror.
He toughs it out like the good little soldier he's been trained to be.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"You didn't receive my first offer," Saul says, "but you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law!"
David doesn't hesitate. "With all due respect, sir, I must decline," he says, and he takes his leave as Abner glares laser beams at him.
David knows it won't last. He knows that he's going to accept at one point. He knows that he can't say no for forever.
David's going to enjoy it while it lasts.
-
It starts the next morning. President Saul's staff go almost out of their way to approach David, compliment him and build his ego up and slip in, "The President is pleased with you, and everybody likes you, so why don't you become his son-in-law?" at the end of every spiel when they think he's the most distracted. The question is the exact same, every time, because apparently the President's staff lack the originality to switch things up so that David doesn't become suspicious. Jonathan plays along with it at first, pleased with the idea of David being his brother legally, but after two weeks of this ridiculousness he's sick of it, too, to the point where he asks his dad to call it off. "No such luck," Jonathan says, and David had guessed that he wouldn't have much luck but he had hoped regardless.
The encounters happen even more frequently after that. Every time David is approached and prompted he says, "It's kind of a big deal to be the President's son-in-law. I come from a small town background and literally have nothing to offer him," and they can't rebut with anything because it's true.
And then, one day, they don't ask the question. They say, "You only have to do one thing to marry Michal."
David says, "Name it."
They do. David accepts the challenge despite the way his stomach crawls, because it wasn't going to last forever.
He takes his men out the next day and fetch the bride price that's been set, even though it's technically one of their days off, and they're twice as successful than they have to be.
When David gets back, he's grimy and sweaty and tired and hungry and holding a cooler containing two hundred things he'd rather not think about. There had been two hundred Philistines in the valley, and there was no point in only—doing it to half of them. It's a small consolation to David that he at least waited until after they were dead, but—eugh.
Jonathan is waiting for him inside of the door instead of Abner. Apparently, he's determined to claim David before Abner can even think about it. They haven't been spending that much time together, this is true, because David's campaigns are getting longer and more important and Jonathan's been hanging back more, paying attention to the political arena (much to his chagrin). Their breaks rarely overlap, but Jonathan's always the first to know when they do and he acts accordingly.
"We have to beat our record," he says, and David wipes a hand over his face before he remembers where it's been and just—ugh.
David holds up the cooler. "I have to bring this to your dad," he says.
"Bride price?"
David nods.
"That's kinda weird. The fact that you're going to be marrying my little sister. Like, actually, now."
David nods again.
"But after you drop that off?" Jonathan persists, and David is so proud of him for not prying when he can't think very well. "Then we game?"
"After a shower," David says pointedly, "we'll game."
Jonathan nods and rushes off to go get it all set up. David goes to the President's office and takes a weak thrill in how Saul looks surprised that he's even alive, never mind how that surprise morphs into disbelief as Saul gets Abner (Abner, David would be laughing uncontrollably if this wasn't so serious) to count.
When Abner's done, he rushes to go wash his hands a hundred times at least (if David were to hazard a guess). Saul stands up to shake David's hand but then he remembers and thinks better of it.
"Welcome to the family, son," Saul says, and David nods.
"Thank you, sir."
"Go take a shower, relax."
"You took the words right out of my mouth, sir."
-
When David is clean and in sweats and halfway through kicking Jonathan's behind at the latest early release his best friend has gotten his hands on, perks of being the President's son, Jonathan nudges him. "So, what was in the cooler? What did my dad set as the," he wiggles his eyebrows, "bride price?"
David knows that they're in delicate territory, but it's a practical question—they both know that there is no way President Saul would just let a poor man marry his daughter. Appearances, you know. They're kind of a big deal when you're one of the most powerful men in the world. It's something that they've talked about since Saul's attendants wouldn't stop leaving him along. But—well, David literally just got back. And—
"Dude," he settles on saying, "you don't even want to know."
Jonathan hums. "That bad, huh?"
David grabs a pillow from the couch and throws it at Jonathan.
And David must be having an off day, might be a little more tired than he thought, because he expects that to be it. He expects Jonathan to drop it—but since when has Jonathan ever dropped anything so easily? Since when has he just let lying things lie? That, perhaps, for once, David doesn't actually want to talk about it?
But a fair bit of time elapses as they get absorbed into the fantasy world that the game they're playing is set in and nobody says anything as they try to destroy the monsters and maybe, maybe—
Jonathan's character dies. Instead of choosing a fast respawn, he looks at David. "But seriously," he says, and David spent an hour in the shower scrubbing but his hands still feel dirty and every time he closes his eyes for any amount of time what he did today just comes back to him in high definition and he might honestly need therapy. He can't be the only one who knows this. He needs somebody outside of his men. He needs his best friend to know.
David pauses the game and turns to Jonathan, who looks too excited to be remotely healthy.
"Well," he says, "we took out the cluster of Phils in the valley. There was like, two hundred of them there. There was supposed to be one hundred. You know that because you have the intel."
Jonathan nods slowly; he doesn't know where this is going, bless his soul. "Yeah, and then...?"
"And, well, your dad asked for..."
Jonathan looks at him expectantly when he trails off but David can't say it out loud. He can't. So he leans in and whispers it into Jonathan's ear and there's about a five second delay when Jonathan's brain stutters through the transition from 'what?' to 'WHAT'. David moves away just in time to avoid getting a broken nose because his best friend jumps magnificently, hands hovering protectively over his crotch. He looks horrified. "No," he says, eyes wide.
David shrugs and unpauses the game, the unrepentant glee that he feels inside pushing away his exhaustion. "You asked," he says, and Jonathan groans as his character respawns.
-
Before David leaves Jonathan's room, Jonathan says, "You don't love her, do you." It's a statement, not a question. David doesn't miss the fact.
"No," he says. "I don't."