The musky smell of alcohol processed in my disheveled, unconscious mind, but was disrupted by the sound of birds chirping, like they did every morning that disturbed my scant eight hours of sleep, which was not a lot for a sixteen year old. I groan sleepily and dug my head further into my flat pillow, trying to savour a few more minutes of light that shun on my face, giving me heat and the ache that for some strange reason I particularly enjoyed.
But once again my few minutes of peace was ended when my brain pieced together that my room should not have the aroma of alcohol, and that smell could only mean...
I shot up in my bed, my eyes searching frantically around, ignoring the burning sensation of the bright sun light, and landed on my Step-Father, who was sitting at the foot of my bed with a bottle of whiskey, his substitute of breakfast.
His un-shaven raven head was not looking at me, but eyeing my room up, partially a picture of my Mother and myself, when I was the young age of eight. Only now do I notice the drawn face of a man that had too much sorrow and lonesome in his life. I had to keep reminding myself that he in fact did not used to be like this. Once he was a humble man, that cared for his wife, and his two nonsense sons and his favourite step daughter that looked up to him as her hero for saving her Mother from being lonely after my useless Father left before I was even a fetus.
I move into a sitting persistion, and watch my Step-Father cautiously. I never knew what side of my Step-Father I would become victim to: My Father that had traits of his old self, before my Mothers death. Or the devil himself, the man that could scare even mafia. But looking at the old mans face I saw twinkle of love as he stared down at the picture of my Mum, I let out a sigh, maybe it would be today he was his old self.
"There's toast down stairs." He looked in my direction, and frowned slightly, "I won't be home later, I've got an interview."
He meant "Job" interview. Some may not call this my Step-Father being affectionate, but he was. Had he ever made me toast before? No. Had he ever tried to have a more than one worded conversation with me? No, not since my Mothers death. Though it was a little step, it made me want to smile, progress.
"That's great!" I tried to sound enthusiastic at the early time of seven thirty am. "What's the interview?"
He looked away, at the door. I could see he was finding it difficult to make a conversation with me. He had not spoke more than a few sentences to me in the last couple of years, since my Mothers death. I understood that I was the double of his once cherished wife, but it hurt, one day being loved as if I was his own daughter, I often noticed he was more fond of me over his sons, and the next day being the annoying chewing gum stuck on his jeans.
"At a television company. I know, it's nothing special, but it pays." He mutters, giving me a quick glance to see my reaction.
A deep smile creases up my face. He had eventually started to heal.
"Well," I swallow, and try to steady my stare at my Father who still seeks my approval. "I think this is good! It's a start."
A small smile forms on my Step-Fathers face, and hesitantly he pats my arm, and quickly retracts his arm when he saw my uncomfortable reaction. It was not that I purposely make a face of distress, but after two and a half years of not even a quick glance, a "pat" was a big deal. He was finally going back to his old self. I just hoped it would last.
I saw he was contracting back into his insecurity, and sighed. I knew he was etching to get a away.
"I've got to get ready for school, Good luck at your interview." I say.
I try not to look disappointed when my Father leaves without a second glance. I should not had retracted, I scold myself. We were finally getting somewhere and I had to ruin it with my insecurity's. I shake my head, there was no point in sitting when I had a lot of work to do, to make myself look presentable for the hell whole, that was also called "School."
My big blue eyes stared back at me, that once held happiness and joy now are just the dull blue colour and hold no feeling what so ever, at least, I noticed, I had no bags under my eyes anymore. For once I did not have the nightmare about the car crash last night, for the first time in two and half years.
My whole face had a light scatter of freckles that were unnoticeable until summer, and like now the freckles became more dominant and made my strawberry blond hair look more ginger than blond. I thanked the heavens that the lord created foundation, to cover them up from the naked eyes of the bullies at school.
Not bothering to take in the rest of my very plain appearance, I quickly painted my face with foundation and eye makeup on, in a rush, knowing I had breakfast awaiting me.
I tied my hair up in to a high pony tail, while I walked over to my draws and pick out an outfit for a humid twenty degrees summers morning.
Not taking care that I was actually not fashionable, and this was school, I slipped my only school skirt on, and the rest of the school uniform, which was not designed to the warm summer days. Why?Black?
Rushing down the steps from the attic, I almost fell when I made my humiliating entrance into the kitchen.
I slump down in a spare seat, noticing my two jerk-ass Step-Brothers, James and John, were eating and talking in union as I grabbed for my toast.
But of course before I can take it James grabs my toast and takes a huge dog bite out of my toast.
I glare and sneer at him "Jerk" I mutter.
"What did you say, Beautiful?" He bats his eye lashes at me, suggestively, "I'm handsome, and you want me?"
I roll my eyes at James. The pretending to flirt with me was so old, but it did not make a difference, he still did not fail to annoy me.
So I show him my tight, synthetic smile and grab the other piece of toast which is still on the plate, I start to walk towards the front door but before I walk out of it, I look over my shoulder and say "I said jerk" I then walk out the front door hearing my brother laugh. and slam the front door behind me.
A victorious smile finds it way to my face.
I bite in to the second piece of stale cold toast, and almost physically throw it back up. I look down at the bread to see green fungi growing on the crust of the bread. I quickly chuck the toast in the bin, near the gate of my house, and rush quickly to the bus stop, which was located half a mile stretch down the road from my own house.
I could only imagine how old the toast was. probably over a month? I knew we had not been able to buy "many" groceries lately, but to serve out of date food was just grose. I wondered how John and James's stomachs digested the stale out of date food that we had to put up with, due to our "Financial issues"
I travel to school by my best friend Gina, She's got a car, she's just turned 17 a few weeks ago and her parents brought her a car straight away, Ive got a few months til I'm 17 and i don't even think ill get a card never mind a car.
Gina and I have been friends since kinder garden when she stole my lolly, at first I hated her, I mean she ate my lolly but I got over it and figured we could be friends. She's the confident type whereas me, I'm quiet.
I walk to near the bus stop where Gina picks me up and check my phone to see if she's text ed me
text(0) Calls(0)
Yeah I'm not that popular well I stick to my few friends, who are Gina, Katie Matt and Dan, I don't have a boyfriend but Gina does, it's Dan, He's the newbie in our group well he's been sitting with us for about a year because that's how long they've been dating. Matt is quiet like me, He'd probably be louder if it wasn't for Gina. She's the chatter box of our group, always got something to say but she's good because she will stick up for you that's why we are so good friends, Dan is defiantly the joker of the group, if your down he will crack you up.
Just as I put my phone in my pocket of my blazer, Gina's car was coming around the corner with capital fm blasting out the windows down and I think I can actually hear her singing along to the music, She is also going like 70mph on a road where your only supposed to go 30, Okay I admit she's a crazy driver.
She comes to a sudden halt in front of me and shouts to me through the window and shouts over the music
"Jump in bitch!"
There are elderly people at the bus stop looked shocked and I heard one say 'that's our new generation, we've got no help'
I smiled timidly at the elders and go to the passenger side and sit and belt up just in case Gina has a car crash, which is very likely. When I'm buckled in she turns towards me with a huge smile on her face.
"So I have so much to tell you!" she says jumping up and down in her chair, I laugh.
Just then she turned off the engine so she could have my full attention.
"Okay but I don't want to know about you and Dans relationship, that's just eeww" I pull a face remembering the time when Gina started to talk about there relationship in her bed room. Lets just say I wouldn't repeat it to any 13 year old girls....
"-and then we went to the movies."
I cut about three minutes talk out, she was talking about Dan.
"ohh we are going shopping at the mall as well tonight" Gina had just started her car up and was driving the 15 minute drive to school.
She'd turned the volume down on the music but it was still loud.
"Why, you know I don't like shopping." I whine
"Don't shout when I tell you this okay?" she asks, what has she done now?
"I'm not promising anything just tell me"
"Okay well you know next weekend how there's that masked ball Ive been planning with the committee.?" Of course I knew shes been talking about it non stop for the past two weeks.
"Yeah?"
"well Dan has to go out of town that weekend, and i'd already brought our tickets, so i was thinking we can go together like friends do right.. It's going to be so fun. So tonight we are buying dresses !"
No... one, i hate dances , two, i hate dresses ,three,There is no way i hell I'm going.