I Am

I am the guy that people go to for a laugh

And I see the world differantly from others, 

From an outside perspective,

I'm the lighthearted one that's always happy...

Or so they think.

I hear others laughing with their friends

I see them smiling, sharing jokes and making memories,

I want them to realize that they may be aware that i'm there,

And we may be talking,

But they never truely see me.

I wonder if they ever will..

But it's ok, because I'm the one that's always happy, or so they think.

I pretend to be content, happy, and lighthearted,

While I really feel distant, depressed, dejected, and down while dealing with the division between me and my peers. 

I worry that I will never fit in,

And I cry because I have no right to do so, to cry while others are starving and have real problems. 

But don't worry about it,

Because I'm the lighthearted one that's always happy, or so they think.

I understand why I stay quiet, to keep others from having to put up with me.

So I say what they want to hear, while inside it's really killing me, one word at a time.

I dream for a time when I can speak my mind,

And be accepted as I am, but it's just out of my reach.

I hope that this will happen eventually, and I try to make it so,

But don't worry about it, because I'm the light-hearted one that's always happy, or so they thought.