Chapter Six
James fidgeted with his cravat which seemed to be tighter than usual, and itchier. He loosened it, but not so much that it looked sloppy, and then buttoned his coat. He was wearing his finest suit. His shirt was silk and his waistcoat was the colour of gold. His dark coat completed the fine ensemble which was decorated with fine gold thread at the seams.
He sighed as he ran his hand through his dark hair, using his fingers to control the mess that it was. Ordinarily a valet would fix his appearance but Emilia and Sebastian had forbidden personal servant for them as children. He appreciated it, it made him learn how to be self-sufficient. Though now he wished he had a confidante to assure him that he was making the right decision. “You made your bed, James,” he said to himself. “Now you must sleep in it.”
The ball at the Smiths would be no simple affair. The flamboyant family were anything but simple. Sarah’s mother, Diana, was American, and brought into her marriage thousands. American inheritances did not go to the eldest son. They were shared equally amongst the children. But not in England. Although her family were wealthy, Sarah relied on an advantageous marriage to support herself as her brothers would be inheriting the money. Her eldest brother, Richard, was a bachelor and her younger brother, Victor, was married to the daughter of a wealthy baronet and had collected a fine dowry upon moving to her father’s estate in Derbyshire.
James knew it was the right thing to do. At first he’d started courting Sarah so that the mothers in the ton would stop throwing their daughters at him, but now it was almost too late to sever ties with her. It wasn’t fair.
James checked his pocket watch and saw that it was quarter to seven. They needed to leave. He quickly jogged downstairs and found Henry in the drawing room with his father as they awaited his mother’s decent from upstairs.
Both Henry and Sebastian were dressed finely with their dark hair neatly combed. James’ hair was stubborn, much like his temperament.
“Don’t you look dashing, son?” Sebastian grinned as he sat cross legged in a white armchair.
“Even though Sarah is impossible, you can’t deny she’s beautiful. You’re a lucky man,” Henry said, offering some comfort.
“Am I?” James sighed as he collapsed next to his youngest sibling on the settee.
“At least you have a woman who wants you. Not one woman has ever expressed interest in me, remember,” Henry reminded him.
“That’s because you’re shy, Henry,” Sebastian replied. “And women enjoy a man who doesn’t behave arrogantly. You’re still young, son, barely even twenty. You have time to find someone. Besides, your mother couldn’t take it if another one of you left us. Wait a few years.” Sebastian winked at him.
“The girls practically live here anyway, papa.” James shook his head.
Sebastian shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not the same.”
“I’ll be here, papa, I’m not leaving when I marry,” James replied, knowing that his mother would prefer it if he found other dwellings if it meant Sarah moving into Ethridge. The heir did not leave the house, not like the other children.
Before Sebastian could reply, they heard Emilia’s voice chime from the staircase, announcing that she was ready. The three men arose from their seat and made their way into the foyer to receive Emilia.
Emilia looked stunning. Positively breathtaking.
“Have you ever seen anything more perfect in your entire lives?” James heard his father say under his breath, not sure if was actually expecting an answer. The look on his father’s face was priceless. He looked absolutely bewitched by his mother. He looked as though he wouldn’t care if he never ate or drank again, so long as he got to spend that time with his wife, he would be fine. That was what James wanted.
Emilia blushed as she joined her husband and sons. Her golden hair was piled on top of her head with a few perfectly placed tendrils hanging beside her face. Her dress was a royal blue, a colour that made her skin look like the colour of moonlight. The gown emphasised her womanly curves that she’d developed through years of childbearing and had made her look all the more feminine. It flowed to the ground in yard of silk fabric. When they got outside toward the carriage, under the evening light, he noticed the silver embroidery around the skirt that made it all the more special. Emilia would definitely outshine every woman in the ballroom – including Sarah.
The journey to the Smith’s abode was short, although there was a large quantity of traffic as carriage arriving with their dressed up guests were in their twenties. He wondered exactly how many people had been invited.
“Let’s just get out here and walk the rest of the way. This line will take an age,” Emilia decided.
Sebastian opened the door and got out quickly so that he could help his wife down. He told the driver to collect them at six the next morning. James could not endure near twelve hours of plastering on a happy smile.
His headache from that morning had gone and he was about to replace it with a new one. James and Henry walked behind their parents and came to the Smith’s home quite quickly. The string instruments could be heard from outside the tall house. It wasn’t a house that could boast a long driveway or any gardens, but it was tall and long and had many fine rooms, including the lovely ballroom where the guests would be spending the majority of their time.
As soon as they got through the door the atmosphere hit them. He caught bits and pieces of at least a dozen conversations. He could hear glasses clinking and heels clapping on the floor as ladies walked and danced. He could hear men asking for dances and he could see mothers hurrying their daughters away from unsuitable men. What he saw most was eyes following him around as he made his way to the announcer with his family. They were the eyes of women that he’d previously spent the night with. Women he’d used to fill a void in his life. Women he’d used just because he was bored. Looking at them now though he didn’t feel that need anymore. He had no desire to seek them out. Absolutely none. It was almost startling.
When the family came to the announcer who was standing in the doorway of the ballroom, he was immediately snatched by Sarah who had been standing behind him.
“Where have you been?” she snapped angrily before putting on a fake smile to greet a guest. She returned to her dark glare as she looked at him. “This is not just a regular party, James, this is our engagement!”
“I’m well aware,” he said lethargically as he heard the announcer introduced his parents and brother to the ball. Sarah looked pretty, if not borderline inappropriate, in her emerald gown that she’d worn to match her eyes. Her chest once again was highlighted in the ensemble as it left little to the imagination. “I’m here now, let’s dance,” he suggested half-heartedly. He surveyed the dancing couples in the centre of the room as they pranced around doing the Galop, his mother’s favourite dance. Sure enough, he spotted his parents on the outer circle of the dance.
“No, we must go and be near mama and papa. We are the hosts, James,” Sarah said angrily as she seized his hand roughly and started to pull him through the crowd. People would stop them and offer their congratulations but before he had the opportunity to thank them Sarah had already pulled him away.
Percy and Diana Smith were happily chatting to guests when Sarah and James arrived in their circle.
“Oh, James, the man of the hour,” Sarah’s mother, Diana exclaimed in her American accent. He’d always thought it strange. Though, then again, he was used to British accents. “Isn’t this fabulous?” she asked, gesturing the festivities going on around them. Sarah and her mother were practically identical. Diana looked older, of course, but her hair was still just as raven black and her eyes were the same brilliant green. She wasn’t as narrow as Sarah was, but she still looked feminine in her dark pink, fitted gown.
“Very,” James replied, trying to sound enthused.
“We’re so happy you finally pulled your finger out, m’boy,” Percy, Sarah’s father, chuckled and the people around him joined in on the laughter. “Our Sarah’s no spring chicken anymore.”
Sarah’s eyes widened with embarrassment and even James had to admit that it was uncalled for. “With all due respect, Sarah is just as lovely as ever,” James said, defending her. If someone had said that about one of his sisters then he would have said the same thing … perhaps offered him a punch or two as well.
“Right you are, m’boy,” Percy grinned as he took a swig from the whiskey glass he held. James was enticed, he wondered where the refreshment table was.
“Such a gentleman,” Diana gushed. “Tell me, where is that handsome father of yours? We must discuss wedding plans,” she asked flirtatiously. As far as he knew, Percy and Diana had a faithful marriage, but Diana had never hid her attraction to his married father.
“He is dancing with my mother. His wife,” James said in a hard tone. He would not condone anyone trying to flirt with either one of his parents. Their marriage was sacred as far as he was concerned. “The wedding in entirely up to you. Whatever funds you need you shall seek from me.”
Diana pursed her thin lips and stared at James. After a moment she let out a shrill giggle. “Oh, you Englishmen have such abrupt senses of humour!”
“I need a drink,” he said under his breath. “Sarah, would you like something to drink?” he asked her politely, hoping that she would give him some reason to leave their circle.
Sarah nodded. “Some champagne, please,” she replied, sounding a little put out.
James immediately made a beeline for the refreshment table which was stationed on the other side of the room, manned by servants. He made his way past guests and was thankful when he finally smelled the alcohol. He hoped his marriage would not turn him into a drunkard. Just as he was about to ask the servant to pour him some whiskey and champagne, he heard a familiar voice.
“You look like you’re in pain, dear brother,” Kitty said animatedly as she appeared at his side. Next to her was Little J who was holding a punch glass and Annie appeared on his other side sipping champagne. Perhaps his brother had sent over the cavalry to console him.
“I need some whiskey,” he replied curtly. He noticed all three of his sisters were dressed up beautifully. He also noticed the male eyes on them. He thanked the Lord they now had husbands to fight their battles for them because he didn’t have the energy to give out too many warnings.
“No, you don’t, you need guidance,” Annie said, blocking him from the refreshments table.
James rolled his eyes. Sisters were irritating. “I am not having a religious breakdown, Annie, you spend far too much time in that church,” he sighed as he moved her out of the way gently.
“James, do you know what too much alcohol does to the body?” Little J asked expectantly.
“No, but I know you’re going to tell me anyway.”
Little J was almost too clever. Being a doctor had pushed her over the edge of intellectual brilliance. “Our bodies can succumb to alcohol poisoning if too much is consumed. You could die if you continue to drink every night.”
“I’m not a drunk, Little J,” James snapped. “A whiskey, please,” he said to the servant who was in charge of the refreshments.
“No,” Kitty called after him. “He’ll have a glass of punch.” Kitty looked at him as if he had been a naughty child. “You’re only drowning your sorrows because of the mess you’ve gotten yourself into. If you’re so miserable then break it off with Sarah.”
James scoffed. “You don’t think I’ve thought of that? I’m not cruel, Kitty. I’ve been courting this woman for years, I can’t just drop her.”
“Yes you can,” Kitty countered. “You can and you will. Find a woman you can respect and love. Find someone who can respect and love you for who you are inside. Because I know underneath that arrogant exterior is a man with a beating heart somewhere.”
His mind, once again, travelled to the quiet, mysterious French matron in Joseph’s orphanage. He didn’t know if she could love him, he didn’t know anything about her, but it surely had to mean something if his mind kept going to her whenever somebody posed him a question on the subject.
“But you know, when that lady does fall in love with you, she’ll love the arrogant you and she’ll love the you only she gets to see,” Little J said tenderly.
James was a little touched at Little J’s words. He would love that. He’d love for a woman to love him that much. “I can’t just turn my back on Sarah. It would humiliate her.”
“You don’t owe her anything,” Kitty said exasperatedly. “She’s been horrid to all of us!”
“She’s still depending on me, Kitty,” James replied.
“So you’ll marry her out of obligation?” Annie asked. “And here I was thinking that you fancied …” she began but she trailed off.
“Fancied?” Little J repeated.
“Who?” Kitty demanded.
James furrowed his brow. Who was his sister talking about?
“You sent that letter to Jacqueline … I just assumed …” Annie began once more before his two other sisters interrupted enthusiastically.
“Who is Jacqueline?” Kitty demanded loudly.
James hushed her, looking around at the guests surrounding them, making sure that no-one had overheard their conversation.
“She’s the matron at the orphanage. She’s young and very beautiful, I could tell why James likes her,” Annie replied.
James wanted to cover each of their mouths but he only had two hands. Had they always been like this? Now he saw it as a positive that they all lived in separate homes as if they lived together they would surely spend the majority of the day gossiping. “I don’t fancy her,” he said unconvincingly. “The letter I sent just contained some money …”
“Money?” Annie repeated. “That was what made her so sour then. She was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. Don’t you know anything about women?”
“Were you paying her for a night together or something?” Little J asked in disgust, her blue eyes flaring.
“No!” he exclaimed. “I’ve not touched her, I swear.”
They seemed to believe him.
Annie spoke next. “James there are two kinds of women in this world – women who value money and women who don’t. Jacqueline does not value money. She came to us with few possessions and gives most of her wages away. She does not care for money. Giving her money is like giving a …” Annie couldn’t think of an example. Kitty could.
“Giving a fat man a small belt. They don’t appreciate it.” Kitty suppressed a laugh at the thought.
James didn’t want Jacqueline to be angry with him. She wanted her to use the money to help herself … that’s when Annie’s point hit him. Jacqueline was not the type to accept other people’s money to benefit herself. “She was angry?”
Annie nodded. “Furious is a better word.”
He had to see her. He had to right this. “Champagne please,” he said suddenly to the servant who was standing at the refreshment table ten feet from them. The man nodded and quickly filled a crystal glass with the golden liquid.
“You’re drinking?” Little J snapped.
“No, the champagne is for Sarah. You’re going to give it to her. Tell her I’ve stepped outside with my pipe,” he replied as he accepted the glass from the servant.
“But you don’t smoke,” Kitty pointed out.
James looked at her tiresomely. “Really? Help me, please!” He handed the champagne to Little J.
“Are you going to see Jacqueline?” Annie asked excitedly.
“I’ll be half an hour,” he replied and would say no more on the subject. He was not going to see her to profess undying love, he wasn’t in love with her … he didn’t think, but he wanted to set her straight about the money. He ignored the people who spoke to him on his way to the door and he hoped that Sarah hadn’t spotted him leaving. He would be back before she even noticed his absence.
As he made his way through the guests he felt a hand slip into his coat pocket, stopping his movement. He turned around to see Miss Danielle Swift standing before him, looking at him with her seductive brown eyes. He’d spent the night with her several times. But now he didn’t have the desire to. No interest or anything.
“There are several dark corners in this house, James,” Danielle purred.
James removed her hand from his coat pocket and ignored her, continuing on his way. He didn’t want that anymore. Thinking about his rakish ways embarrassed him now.
James slipped past the announcer and walked quickly through the foyer and out the front door which was still congregated with guests. The good thing was that he didn’t recognise any of them so he hoped none would recognise him.
He had no idea where the Ethridge carriage was so he decided to travel on foot. He set a quick pace which caused him to perspire on his forehead. He dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief.
He weaved in and out of the London streets until he came to the quiet orphanage that sat behind the church. He didn’t know what the time was but he hoped the children would be in bed so that he might speak to their matron privately. He had no intention to insult her with the money he sent … perhaps he should have taken it to her himself. No, he definitely should have taken it to her himself. Then there could be no misunderstanding of his intentions.
He came to the stone building and knocked on the door. He felt his heart beat quicken as the anxiety set in. He was nervous. Really nervous.
After about half a minute the door opened and Jacqueline stood before him wearing her nightgown and a robe. Was it possible that she could get more beautiful in the matter of hours since he’d last seen her? She glared at him with her beautiful blue eyes and went to slam the door in his face. He caught it before she could.
“I was trying to help you,” he said desperately as she continued to try to force the door close but she was too petite to be anywhere near as strong as he was. Jacqueline gave up and let him in after a minute.
“I don’t need your ‘elp,” she said angrily, folding her arms across her chest. Her dark hair was spilling over her shoulders and arms in their natural, full curls. “I ‘ave your money in my bedroom ready to give back to you. Let me go and fetch it.” She went to turn to leave but James caught her on the arm. He wasn’t rough but it was the first time that he had come into contact with her … when he was not unconscious of course.
“I’m sorry,” he said slowly and sincerely. “Annie told me how upset you were about the money. I did not mean it to be an insult, I just meant to help you.”
Jacqueline looked even angrier if it were even possible. Annie was right, she was furious. “You are all the same, you aristocrats!” she snapped. It was hard not to think that her French accent made her sound adorable. “You throw your money around thinking that you ‘ave no other obligation afterward. You make me sick!”
James was taken aback. He’d given her some money, not killed a man. “Is this the only thing you are angry about? Have I wronged you in some other way, Jacqueline?”
Jacqueline fumed. “What does your fiancée think about the fact that you spent the night in my bed? Does she think me some common ‘ore? I ‘ope she saves ‘herself by ending any affiliation she has with you.”
She was angry about the fact that he was engaged. Annie had a big mouth. He paused mid thought. Was she angry about the fact that he’d come to her when he was engaged, or by the fact that he was actually engaged?
“Sarah and I have an understanding …” he began explaining but Jacqueline interrupted him scoffing.
“Annie told me ‘ow ‘orrible she is. That means nothing. She is to be your wife! You dishonour your marriage by coming to me,” she snapped.
“Jacqueline, listen,” James said firmly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I never meant to insult you or anger you and I certainly have no intention of dishonouring Sarah.” Or marrying her if he could help it. If only he had a friend who was in love with her. “Sarah is great at being a debutante. She just won’t make me a great wife.”
Jacqueline didn’t speak for a moment. She looked like she was thinking. “And why is that?” she finally asked.
“Maybe I’m old fashioned but I would like to be in love with my wife. I want a woman to love me for me and not for my title. Sarah craves my father’s Earldom and I will have that one day. I would like someone who could see past that.” It was true. That was what he wanted. Seeing Jacqueline, seeing her emotional for the first time made him see that she was it. His thoughts always travelling to her made him realise it. She was it.
Jacqueline seemed to soften a little when she heard his sincerity. “Are you still engaged?” she asked softly.
How he wanted to say ‘no’. “Yes,” he replied truthfully.
She pursed her lips and sighed. “You should not be here then,” she replied.
“I know,” he conceded. “But will you at least accept the money for its purpose? I just thought that you would appreciate the help.”
Her stubborn face returned and she immediately shook her head which caused her curls to swing from side to side. “I don’t want it.”
“What do you want?” he asked impatiently. He didn’t want to sound rude but she needed to learn how to accept help. She didn’t have to be alone. Being alone was a choice.
“What do I want?” she scoffed. “For France to be fixed!” She stopped herself immediately after she spoke the words and covered her mouth with her dainty hand. She’d let her guard down for only a second but he could see the pain in her eyes as she said the words.
She wanted France fixed? He’d heard of fierce rebellions in France happening over the years. He never really paid much attention though. Had she been attacked by the rebels? Had her family been affected by it somehow, was that why she’d come to England alone? “What happened to you, Jacqueline?” James asked tenderly.
Jacqueline’s eyes watered as she began to tremble. She was shaking. No matter how inappropriate it was, there was only one way to comfort someone who was panicking. He closed the gap between them instantly and wrapped his arms around her small frame. She was so little in his arms, he felt as though he could protect her. He held onto her tightly, nearly crushing her. But it worked, her shaking slowed and eventually stopped. She’d endured something horrible. She’d been a victim. He was determined to learn what had happened to her.
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Hope you liked this :)
Photo on the side is how I imagine Alice to look :)
Good news, my wrist has only the tiniest hairline fracture, it's like a tiny line on the X-ray so I don't need a cast thank god! The doctor told me not to play sport but if any of you knew me you'd know that that is NOT going to happen hahaha. I'm a sporty gal ;)
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