After weeks of Ben Gay and back rubs, David agreed that he needed to take more drastic action. He had a friend whose wife was a Chiropractor. He went to see her. She suggested a masseuse. The first massage seemed to help, but after a week, the pain was back. He went for weekly massages for a month. Still, the pain kept recurring. Finally, he agreed to see a doctor.
The doctor prescribed muscle relaxants. When those didn't help, he ran a series of tests. David didn't have any kidney or bladder problems. The doctor told David not to lift anything or do anything strenuous and to schedule another appointment if his back didn't get better on its own. The pain receded, or at least that's what David told me.
That August we rented a condo on the beach and took a month's vacation. David told me that he had job fatigue and needed some time away to recoup. Faith was with us the whole time. Josh and Zach came for a couple of weeks. We lounged on the beach, took long moonlit walks, and did a lot of reading. One day we played putt putt golf. I noticed that David did not bend and contort his body the way he usually did when studying the green for the most advantageous angle.
"What's the matter, Hon?" I asked. "Is your back bothering you again?"
"I pulled it yesterday playing beach volleyball with the boys," he said. "It's nothing."
When he got back to work, he got a massage pillow for his chair.
"I'm starting to get stiff from sitting so much at a computer," he told me.
He had bought a motorcycle a couple of years after he started working at the prison. I called it his male menopause extravagance. He had been riding it to work, to conserve gas, he said. That fall, I noticed that when he got off his bike, he would always massage his back for a minute. In November, he started taking his truck again.
"You getting too old for the bike?" I teased.
"Naw," he said, "but I don't much care for the cold."
"Cold?" I said. "This has been the most unseasonably warm winter since we got back to Louisiana."
"Yeah, but when we had that cold snap last week it sort of settled in my back. I'm going to give the bike a rest."
I started watching David closely, but once he stopped riding the bike, I didn't see any more signs of pain. In March, though, he started hurting again.
"I've made you another appointment with the doctor," I told him. "This has gone on too long."
The doctor gave him some more muscle relaxants. I was frustrated. Zach had finished nursing school. I asked him what he thought. He suggested some exercises that were good for people who sat too much.
On April the first, David called me from work. He told me that he was bloated and his back was killing him. He wanted me to come get him. I thought he was playing an April Fools' joke. The social worker, who had an office next to him, took the phone. "This is no joke, Syd," she said. "He needs to see a doctor."
I didn't take him to see his doctor. I took him to the emergency room. They put him in the hospital to run a battery of tests. The diagnosis was stage-4 pancreatic cancer. We were told he had six months or less to live.
#
Faith put the book down. It wasn't that late, but she knew that whatever Mama wrote about Daddy's illness would be heart wrenching. She didn't want to cry herself to sleep. She went into the living room. Teresa was reading Mama's journal.
"You're done with your homework?" Faith asked.
"Yes, Mom," Teresa teased.
"Do you mind walking to school tomorrow?" Faith asked. "I need to be somewhere early in the morning." She had decided that if she waited until after dropping Teresa at school, she might miss Kyra. She wanted to catch her on the way to breakfast.
"No prob," Teresa said.
Faith was in the lobby of the Hilton at 7AM. Unless Kyra used room service or wasn't a breakfast eater, she assumed she was there early enough to waylay her. At ten minutes before 8, Kyra hurried out of the elevator. She was looking at her wrist, fastening her watch. Faith caught up with her and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Can I buy you breakfast?" she asked.
Kyra's mouth settled into a straight line.
"Look," Faith said, "please let me offer an explanation. I know you don't owe me anything, but I know you're a woman of mercy. I've been to your group."
"Okay," Kyra said. "You can breakfast with me. It's free to patrons of the hotel. It'll cost you something. I've got a conference in 30 minutes."
Once they had gone through the line and were seated at a table, Faith plunged right in.
"I know what I did was wrong. I should have told you who I was, but when I tried to contact you on your MySpace account to find out if you were the right Kyra, you restricted your space."
"When Aaron told me his fiancé's name, I thought it was probably the Faith who tried to contact me. I just didn't know Faith and Angelica were the same person."
"That's my middle name."
"I know. Aaron told me."
"I was going to tell you who I was at the coffee house, but then you invited me over for dinner. I figured I'd do it there."
"So why didn't you?"
"You told me Shandra was in kindergarten. Aaron's child would have been in the first grade. I didn't figure it mattered if you knew who I was if you aborted Aaron's child. I couldn't think of any other reason why you'd contact him," Faith said. "I'd also gotten caught up in my own charade. I really wanted to write the book. If I'd told you, you probably would have left me home."
"You didn't feel bad about being at the meeting under false pretenses?"
"I felt like a voyeur. The meeting was a good thing for me, though. It helped me to understand what Aaron was going through. It gave me the compassion I needed to forgive him. It also gave me a lot of material for my book. I am writing the book. I'm about halfway through."
"Well, I'm glad you got something good out of it." Kyra's voice had a sarcastic edge.
"Like I said. I was wrong, even if something good came from it."
Kyra looked at Faith for a few seconds. Faith thought she saw pain in the depths of her eyes.
"Until I walked into your house, I thought we'd really connected," Kyra said. "I thought you were a kindred spirit of sorts."
"We did connect," Faith said. "I liked you. I hated deceiving you, but every time I thought about telling you who I was, I just couldn't do it. I was afraid to."
"What were you were afraid of?"
"I don't know." Faith looked down at the table and started brushing crumbs into a napkin. "I guess in the back of my mind, I thought you might still have feelings for Aaron. I was afraid that if you knew who I was and that I'd deceived you, you might decide to make a play for Aaron."
Kyra laughed. Faith looked up at her.
"That's bizarre," Kyra said.
Faith felt her face turning red. Then she laughed to. "Probably, but I wasn't exactly thinking too clearly."
Kyra glanced at her watch.
"I've gotta run."
"Will you let Shandra be a part of our lives?" Faith asked.
"I'll think about it."
With that Faith had to be content.
When she got outside, she called Aaron at work.
"It's a pretty day," she said. "Do you want to meet me in the park for a picnic? I talked to Kyra, and I'd like to tell you about it."
When she gave him a rundown over tuna sandwiches and salt and vinegar chips, Aaron said he hoped Kyra came out on the positive side when she thought about letting Shandra be a part of their lives.
"I'm going to meet her tomorrow, no matter what Kyra decides," he said.
"Will you call her and ask if I can come with you?"
He started picking up the trash.
"No, Faith, I won't," he said slowly. "I want to meet my daughter alone. She needs to meet her Daddy before she finds out about a prospective step-Mom."
The next day Faith was on pins and needles. She knew Aaron wasn't meeting Shandra until after work and that she probably wouldn't hear from him until late in the evening. She spent the day tying up loose ends for the wedding. The date was only two weeks away.
Over a late dinner, she told Jacob and Teresa what was going on.
"He told me that he was going to meet his daughter," Jacob said. "He was so nervous."
"Yeah, I went shopping for him after school and bought a present for him to take her," Teresa said.
Faith was hurt, but she tried not to show it. Teresa must have sensed it.
"He called here looking for you," she said. "I told him I didn't know where you were. He said he tried calling your cell, but it went straight to voice mail."
"Oh no," Faith said. She pulled it out of her pocket. It was dead. She plugged it in. It rang almost immediately.
"You're a hard woman to get in touch with." It was Kyra's voice.
"I let my phone go dead," Faith said.
"That's what Aaron figured. Would you like to meet me for dessert and tea?"
"You're not with him and Shandra?"
"I introduced them and stayed for a while to make sure Shandra was comfortable. He took her to the food court at the Mall of Louisiana. They were gonna get some fast food and ride the merry-go-round. I imagine she'll come back with a sugar high."
When they were seated at a table at Starbucks, Faith took a bite of the raspberry coffeecake Kyra had recommended.
"This is good," she said.
"It's my favorite," Kyra said. She smiled at Faith. The smile reached her eyes.
"That's a good sign," Faith thought.
"I thought about everything you told me yesterday," Kyra said. "I tried to put myself in your shoes. I probably would have done something equally stupid."
"Gee, thanks."
"Anytime. Anyway, I think my initial reaction to you was probably right. I think you're a good woman at heart. It would be wrong to make Aaron choose between you and Shandra."
"So you'll let us borrow Shandra occasionally?"
"I've agreed to start with your wedding. I told Aaron that I'd let Shandra be your flower girl."
I burst into tears.
"Here," Kyra held out a Kleenex.
"Joy," Faith blubbered.
"Figured," Kyra said.
Faith went in the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. When she came back out, Kyra wasn't alone. Aaron and Shandra had joined her.
Aaron stood up.
"Shandra," he said, "this is Faith. She's going to be my wife."
"I get to be your flower girl," Shandra said.
"So, I hear." Faith squatted in front of the child. "You're going to make a beautiful flower girl, too."
Shandra reached out and picked up one of Faith's auburn curls. "Is this real?" she asked. "I have a Barbie with hair this color."
Faith laughed. "It's real," she said.
When they finally got back to the house, Aaron opened Faith's car door. When she got out, he leaned back against the car and pulled her into his arms. His nose touched hers.
"I love you," he said. Then he proceeded to prove it.
When they entered the house, Teresa ran and threw her arms around Faith.
"I'm so happy," she said. "Look!" She held her hand up for Faith to inspect. "We're engaged." She looked down at the ring and the back up at Faith. "I promised him a lifetime," she said softly.
Faith hugged her again. "My lifetime starts in two weeks," she said with a smile. "Shandra is going to be our flower girl."
Teresa squealed. She threw her arms around Faith again. "That's so cool."
"I talked to my Mom today," Jacob said. Faith kept her arm around Teresa as she turned towards him. "I told her that I wanted to ask Teresa to marry me. We're going to wait until after she graduates, but I wanted to make the commitment now. Mama gave me my grandmother's ring. She said that she had planned to give it to me when I got married."
"So does that mean your Dad has come around?" Faith asked.
"Not yet," Jacob said. "Mama met me behind his back. She thinks he'll change his mind when he realizes that his grandchild is living in town and that he can be a part its life if he lets his stubborn pride go."
Teresa disentangled herself from Faith and went to stand by Jacob. She took his hand.
"We also signed the adoption agreement," she said. "We called Wade after Jacob proposed." Her eyes misted over just remembering. "I'll be moving into the Jacobsons' apartment. They said I can stay there through my senior year of high school if I want to."
"This sounds crazy," Faith said. "But I never asked what your actual due date is."
"October 12," Teresa said. "I'll have already started my senior year."
"And I talked to LSU," Jacob added. "My scholarship is still a go. I'll be living in the sports dorm next year. Once Teresa and I get married, they'll help me get into married student housing."
"Wow," Faith said. "You didn't even give a hint about all this at dinner."
"Well, I hadn't asked Teresa yet," Jacob said. "I was trying to figure out how I was going to get rid of you when Kyra called."
When Teresa and Faith got home, it was almost 11PM.
"It's a good thing tonight's Friday," Teresa said. "I'm too keyed up to sleep, but it doesn't matter because I don't have to go to school tomorrow."
"I know what you mean." Faith grinned impishly. "Banana splits to celebrate?" she asked.
"You bet," Teresa said. "No watching calories tonight."
After licking the last remnant of chocolate from her bowl, Teresa stretched.
"I'm going to settle down with your Mom's journals," she said. "I'm halfway through book two. I may stay up all night and read right through book four." She patted the stack of journals on the end table. "What about you?"
"I don't have much left to read," Faith said. "I'll probably finish it quickly, but don't be alarmed if you hear me crying. I'm to the place where Daddy got cancer."
"Why didn't she just leave that out?" Teresa asked. "You lived through that part."
"I know, but I didn't see it through her eyes." Faith was quiet for a moment, staring off into space. "She wrote about the love that they shared. Their love sustained her through the last days, too, I think." She cleared her throat as a frog threatened to take away her voice. "He died on their anniversary. August 21 was a bittersweet day after that. You know the rose garden in front of the huge running rose? Mama built that after Daddy died. On her anniversary every year she added a new rosebush." Faith stood up. She dropped a kiss on the top of Teresa's head. "Night," she said.