Nathan and Susan pulled into the parking lot of the mall. As they circled looking for a space, Susan smiled and asked her father a very simple question. "So, you're seriously not going to fight me this time?"
"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, spying an empty spot a few yards in from of them.
"I mean...well, you almost let me help you do this before, then you sort of chickened out."
Nathan laughed. "I did, didn't I? Guess I wasn't ready just yet." He pulled into the parking spot and they started their walk into the mall. "Not embarrassed to be out with your dad?"
"You're not the principal anymore, remember?" She took his hand and pulled him toward the glass doors.
"Should have gotten myself fired a lot sooner," he quipped, squeezing her hand. "I did have to jam an eye appointment into today, but I figured you'd be okay on your own for a bit."
Susan's eyes went wide. "Are you kidding me? I am not letting you pick out frames on your own again! You've been wearing those brownish turtle, not sure what shape they want to be, things for ages."
"I thought you liked them?"
"I was twelve, Dad, I didn't know any better."
Nathan looked puzzled. "I've been wearing these for five years?"
"Yup, you didn't want to bother with new - can you even see out of those anymore?"
"Funny, sweetheart, but a good point, it's gotten a little tougher." They walked through the food court and made their way to LensCrafters.
"I can't believe you're going buy things for yourself today. Um, no offense dad, but if it wasn't booze or...uh, boating crap..."
"Right...honey, about that..." He sighed. "We have a few things to talk about over lunch later, okay?"
"Ooookay..." Her happiness took a slight blow, but her father didn't hold a negative tone in his voice, so she wasn't exactly sure what sort of news she was going to get.
His appointment didn't take long and it was only a half hour before they were browsing a new selection of frames. Susan honed in on the perfect pair. "Dad, try these."
"Seriously? You make fun of brown plastic ones, but black?"
She exhaled sharply. "You did say you wanted my help, right? Just try them?"
Nathan took the frames and put them on, humoring his daughter. They were certainly more modern, as they were definite rectangles and not oddly shaped like his current ones were. He looked at himself and tilted his head, questioning his reflection. "I...think I like them?"
Susan smiled. "Yes, Dad, you do. Glasses now are nerd chic, and those totally work on you."
"Okay, I promised I'd take your advice today." He looked at his reflection again and found himself smiling too.
Susan elbowed him. "Dad, I'm all for you changing some things about yourself, but is there maybe any reason other than mom's visit that's prompting this?"
Nathan walked the frames up to the counter. "Not sure what you mean, honey." He filled out the paperwork and presented his insurance card.
"Well, are you maybe thinking about, oh, I dunno, asking someone out?"
Nathan's mind raced backwards to the previous night. He certainly hadn't needed new glasses for that. He hated lying to his daughter, but he respected Sydney's want of privacy...and knew that he himself didn't exactly want any pressure of his own from anyone else. "Susan, I know that you've been wanting me to date, but let's take baby steps here, hm? I'm letting you pick out my glasses and help me update..."
"...hopefully burn..."
"...my current wardrobe. We'll get to dating later."
"You know, Dad, Charlene's dad came out wh..."
Nathan shook his head, laughing. "Not gay, Susie Q, just...not quite ready yet." After the promise of his new glasses being ready within the hour, he caught his reflection one more time. "Do I need a haircut?" he asked, trying to change the subject as quickly as he could.
Susan positioned herself in front of him and studied his face. "Huh uh...actually, I'd let it grow. You get these cool waves that you totally did not pass on into my genes."
"Well, my apologies, dear daughter. If I could have picked what I passed along to you, I would have made sure of it." He inhaled, enjoying this time, even if she did dig into him every once in a while. Hell, she was a teenager after all. "I'm not trying on any jeans with holes or any shirts that look like they have..."
"No worries, Dad. I have no intention of making you look like one of those desperate middle-aged guys..."
"Hey, I'm not...am I?"
She ignored his question, she didn't mean things to come out the way they did. "You're actually a pretty cool guy, you know, as far as dads go," she laughed. "You're just living in the 'mom' years. You've dropped weight and severe baggage since then. We just need to update you."
He understood what Susan meant. He was still wearing things that his ex purchased for him - and that he never much liked to begin with. He didn't have to wear his suits anymore since his "demotion" and really didn't have much else. "Lead the way."
Susan led her father through various stores for a couple of hours. She made him pick out key pieces first and would worry about the other aspects of a wardrobe later. Nathan wouldn't ever deny that he was having a wonderful time. After a trip out to the car to drop off some bags, they decided to break for lunch.
"So," Susan began, taking a bite of her mu shu pork. The food court of the mall was crowded and loud and she got the feeling that this was why her father wanted to talk here. "You said lunch, it's lunch, spill it, Dad." She bit her lip. "Sorry, but you've had me concerned all morning. Is this something bad?"
Nathan smiled. "Not at all." He looked down at his chopsticks and laughed to himself for a moment, thinking about Sydney's inability to use them. "Actually, it's pretty good news for us."
Susan tilted her head, intrigued and confused all at once. "How good are we talking?"
He took on a casual tone and looked up at the ceiling as he answered. "Oh, I dunno...cell phone upgrades good?"
"What? Dad, did you get a raise or something? I've been asking for help with a..."
Nathan put his hand up, doing his best to chew and swallow his lo mein as quickly as he could. "I don't need a raise, Susan, I make pretty decent money given the district. I know you haven't exactly ever been given a reason to believe that. We're in pretty good shape – not Bartlett shape by any means – but good shape."
"Back story?" Susan prodded.
He thought it best to cut immediately to the chase. "You know that the divorce was messy..."
"...that's being kind..."
"Right, well, due to circumstances..."
"...mom screwing another guy..."
Nathan sighed. "Correct..." He shook his head, clearing it. "She never tried to get alimony from me, but always threatened it. Often, actually."
"Can she do that?"
"Technically, which always concerned me enough to put aside quite a bit of money – too much, I'm sure – for the last..." It then hit him; how long it really had been. "...five years. Better to be safe, even if it meant a lot of cutting corners for me, and a little for you." His smile returned. "However, as of last night, I have freed up that cash flow, thus freeing us up quite a bit." Susan's eyes were wide. "We're not going to go crazy or anything, but we're certainly going to live a little more, hm?" He took Susan's hand. "I don't want to be the dad that makes up for the past by buying his daughter's affections. I want to be the dad that gets to start over a little, maybe spoil her just a tad, before she goes off on her own."
Susan's eyes grew glossy. "Dad, all I've ever wanted since mom left was to see you take your life back. I hated being your babysitter, I hated seeing you drunk and angry all the time...I'm finally getting what I want, and we have at least another school year to, you know," she smiled, "hang out."
"I am so glad I didn't screw you up."
"I'm glad you're done screwing yourself up," she laughed, then cocked an eyebrow. "You know I'm totally holding you to the new cell phone thing."
"Wouldn't want it any other way," he chuckled.
A couple of hours later, Susan had Nathan's new cell phone in her hands as he tried on the last of the clothing she'd picked out for him. Nathan's phone book was unable to be transferred due to the age of phone he was replacing, but he saw that as yet another way to start over: he'd manually transfer only the numbers he needed later on.
Susan didn't know the number that appeared on the screen with the text that had just buzzed through, but the words concerned her. "Please call when you can. Really need to talk."
"Um, Dad?" she whisper shouted as best she could, as not to disrupt the men's department.
He came out of the dressing room, new, Susan-approved, outfit making him look younger and showcasing his fit physique much more than what he'd been wearing for the past several years. "Everything okay?"
"You tell me." She handed her father his phone and he recognized the number as Sydney's.
He didn't lie about who it was. "I think someone's English teacher is starting to get nervous about mid-terms."
Susan didn't give it a second thought. "Ick...what, two weeks right?"
"Mm hm, not that you've ever had to worry." He winked at Susan, then looked at himself in the mirror. "Huh...not too shabby." He disappeared back into the dressing room and quickly returned Sydney's text letting her know that he'd be able to call her in a couple of hours.
Later that evening, he kept his word. When Sydney answered, he heard quite a commotion in the background. "Hey, is everything okay?"
"Uh, yeah," she answered. He could hear her shoes clicking on tile and the background noise faded. "I'm at Just Be. Arlen's having a huge fundraiser here for Valentine's Day and we're at mandatory rehearsals."
"Mandatory? Even with all of the, um, you know baby stuff?"
Sydney sighed. "Both things are a really big deal and he's a bit particular about a his events." He heard exhaustion in her voice.
"So you, uh, needed to talk?"
A large sigh hung in the air. "You made me make a list."
"I did what?"
"You made me make a list of pros and cons and the pros won. Last night was just a huge, sexual exclamation point on the end of the list." She sounded like she was going to cry.
"I'm...sorry?"
"You should be!" She shouted, then quickly lowered her voice. "You are purposely putting me into this position...God, so many positions! I should be running away from you, you know that? It sounds like you have a slightly insane ex-wife, I've saved you from drinking twice..."
Nathan was taking no offense; instead he was smiling broadly. "I recall doing a few things for you as well, you know."
"...and I work with you! That's the biggest 'no-no' of them all, isn't it? Yet there I was in my bedroom today, like a teenager, listing everything and it just doesn't make sense." She was crying now, and not trying to hide it.
"Hey, am I so bad?" he asked, feeling helpless.
She sniffled. "No...not in the least. You had your breakdown last night, I'm...just a little behind and a lot more girly about it." She heard Nathan's breathing on the other end and could tell he was trying to think of what to say. "I can't stop thinking about you."
"Wouldn't this be better in person?" he asked, only wanting to help - wanting to hold her close, to show her he was worthy of whatever list she'd made.
"No," she answered sharply. "I...I need to wait until Monday to see you. Nathan, our 'no hurt' deal isn't going to work out."
Confusion set in and Nathan's heart began to pound. "Wait, are you ending us?"
"What? No, I just..." Her voice was barely a whisper now. "I'm terrified."
He covered the mouthpiece as he sighed in relief. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've made a lot of changes since last night...Syd, I really want to add another one to my own list."
Sydney smiled through her tears, understanding what he meant. She heard Arlen calling for her. "I have to go...talk tomorrow?"
"Of course." They said their goodbyes and Nathan sat on the edge of his bed, his heart finding its normal pace again. He wiped away his own tears, then, very slowly, felt pressure begin to weigh down his mind...the relationship pressure that both of them decided it was better to avoid.
"Dad," Susan's voice floated up to his room, "I'm gonna start the movie, are you coming?"
He looked at himself in the mirror for the hundredth time that day. He laughed before the words even crossed his lips, then spoke to the invisible pressures, taunting them. "Bring it."