The weeks passed and, true to Nathan's word, the aching did dull. Sydney and Nathan made the diner a weekly ritual and the ground rules were very simple: no talking about work. They kept the conversations light for the most part, neither pressing about certain issues.
As Christmas approached, Nathan all but begged Sydney to go to the district's Christmas party. He had to go, Joe made that extremely clear; he needed to show his good side after all that happened at the beginning of the school year. Nathan didn't want to face the masses alone and was grateful when Sydney finally broke down and agreed.
The party was held in a reserved banquet room at the local Embassy Suites. Inside, music was playing and faculty from all the schools in the district were laughing, carrying on, and generally having a good time - Sydney especially, though she couldn't really place why. She felt light, carefree, and happier than she had in some time. When she spotted Nathan, who arrived much later than expected, she ran up to him, her hands going to his shoulders.
"I'm so glad you talked me into coming here!" she giggled. "It's not evil at all! People are even being nice."
"Why wouldn't they be?" he asked.
"'Cause I'm 'The Sub' remember? I'm not really one of them." Her hands were still on him. "Where the hell have you been, anyway, hm? You ask me to come and support you and then you don't even answer your phone."
Nathan was instantly apologetic, but thought Sydney was acting strange. "I'm sorry. There was an issue with Susan and her mother, then my phone died. Are you feeling all right?"
"Fantastic!" She looked to her left and saw someone that she knew. "Oh! I totally went to high school with her!" She ran across the room and Nathan couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
In the hour that passed, Nathan was sucked into a horrible conversation about his downfall as principal of Western Summit High; he tried, valiantly, to squirm out of it since it started. Sydney proved to be his savior...sort of. She strolled over to him, still giggling like one of his students, her cheeks red. Nathan excused himself from the conversation.
"Syd, you're a bit flush. Are you sure everything's okay?"
Sydney put her mouth to Nathan's ear. "I found mistletoe. I shouldn't be surprised, Christmas decorations and everything." She took Nathan's hand and started to weave him through the crowd. When she stopped, she looked up and Nathan swallowed. "See?"
"Uh, yeah. Very nice. They went with the real deal, not plastic. Thank you for showing me." He started to walk away, but Sydney grabbed his hand again.
"Hey, don't you know what you're supposed to do under this stuff?" Not wanting to hurt her feelings, he kissed her cheek, then once again tried to leave. "Nathan?"
"Sydney, I'm not quite sure you're in the best state of mind right now."
"What, you think I'm crazy?" she asked playfully.
Nathan sighed. "No," he answered, his voice gentle. "I think you're drunk."
"Huh? No way, it's a cash bar and they're overcharging for bottom shelf liquor." She moved closer to him. "Don't you wanna kiss me? It's a tradition."
"Have you had the punch tonight?"
Sydney smiled. "Yeah, a lot of it, actually. I was waiting for you for over...wait, you didn't answer my question!"
Nathan took her hand this time and searched the crowd. He found who he was looking for right away. "Rick, where's the bottle?"
"Gardner, hey, how's the nose?" the boys' gym teacher prodded.
"Really, I thought we were over that? Where's the booze?"
"Not the boss any more, Nate, live a little! Oh, never mind, I forgot. You don't have much of a life to live, do you?"
Nathan's mouth tightened. "You're inebriating your colleagues without their consent, just like you do every year. Not everyone here knows your tricks and you know quite a few people here have their problems."
Rick laughed. "You'd know..."
Sydney waved. "Hi, Rick!" She was oblivious to their last exchange.
Rick laughed. "Well, she looks like she's having a good time, doesn't she?" He smiled, the act slimy to Nathan, and slid an arm around Sydney's waist. "You're having a good time, aren't you little Miss English Teacher?"
"I am," Sydney answered, the ever present giggle still there.
"Could you, you know, not touch her like that? She's not exactly..."
"She's a grown woman, Nate, back off."
"He doesn't like mistletoe," Sydney said matter-of-factly.
"No? Well, that's a shame." His arm noticeably tightened around her. "I love it."
"You know what, I changed my mind," Nathan interjected. He took Sydney's hand again, trying to gently pull her away. "I'd like to see it again."
"Ooh!" Sydney slipped out of Rick's hold and went with Nathan, though they didn't go toward the mistletoe, a fact she noticed right away. "Hey!"
"This is for your own good, Syd." He led her through the main doors to the parking lot where snow was falling at a quick pace.
"Nathan, what are you doing?" Sydney whined.
"Saving you from possible humiliation."
The cold began to clear Sydney's head, but not enough. "Why wouldn't you kiss me?"
Nathan's eyes were thoughtful and kind. "Because when you wake up tomorrow morning, I don't want you to have any regrets." Sydney was silent. "Also, there's one vital piece of information that I haven't made you privy to, Syd." He walked her to his car and helped her get in. Once he was in the driver's seat, he looked over at her and saw that her eyes were most definitely sobering.
"Am I going to be privy now?"
Nathan was hesitant. "At the risk of my completely changing your opinion of me...yes." He started the car, but didn't put his hands on the steering wheel or gearshift. He took a deep breath and looked over at Sydney. "I'm an alcoholic," he confessed, shame in his voice. "Not actively, but once one, always one."
Sydney cocked her head to the side. "Oh." She didn't say anything for a minute or two and Nathan worried that he was about to lose a friend. "Your 'bad night' when...when you were..." She took a shaky breath. "Fuck, I'm such an asshole."
Nathan shifted in his seat. "Furthest thing from it, Syd. I should have been here, you couldn't have known. Nobody ever tastes it and it gets so warm in the room that it's harder to gauge what you're feeling in there."
Embarrassment made its way to her face. "I'm a lightweight."
He smiled at her. "That night you were talking about, I didn't drink, but Christ I wanted to. It's been harder than I thought, even with help." He took a deep breath. "Thinking about Susan is the only thing that makes me stop when I have the urge." He looked away from her, ashamed.
Sydney reached over and took his hand, the act much different that it had been earlier in the night. "You thought that was going to change my opinion of you?"
"It doesn't? It doesn't make me seem," he cleared his throat, "at the very least, unreliable?"
"Nathan, I've dealt with a lot worse than someone who likes to drink too much, believe me." She ran her thumb over his, comforting him. "Besides, you said it yourself: you're recovering, not active. That just means I won't be asking you out for a drink, which is a good thing since I don't seem to know when I've been drinking." Though she attempted to make light of it, she was angry with herself.
He smiled, relieved. "Let's get you home, hm?"
"Good plan."
They didn't say much on their short ride. Sydney continued to wallow in embarrassment over not realizing what was happening to her at the party, as well as how she acted over that bit of mistletoe. With Nathan's confession added to her own behavior, she was sure he was going to think less of her now. The last thing she wanted was to hurt their friendship.
When they reached her house, Nathan insisted on walking her to the door. The snow was falling at a steadier pace and he didn't want to risk her slipping in her high-heeled boots. They reached the front door and Sydney hugged him, thankful for him on several different levels.
"Get some sleep, all right?" he said, still holding on to her.
"I'm sorry for everything tonight, Nathan."
Nathan brushed Sydney's hair behind her ear, unsure of what caused him to do so. "Don't be, Syd. I've done far worse in my time." When he realized his face was moving towards hers, he stopped himself. Nope, don't do it. Don't even think about it. It's just a weird night.
"I don't want you to think I'm...
"I absolutely don't," he interrupted, understanding her embarrassment.
She smiled at him. "Thank you, Nathan. Good night."
"Night." He waited until she was safely behind the closed door before he turned to leave. "Damn it..."