Don's POV
I was in the lab constructing some new upgrades for the Shell Raiser. My brothers and I had finished morning training and now we were on our own free time. It sounded like Mikey was watching cartoons, and I suspected that Raphael and Leonardo had joined him. Unfortunately, unlike my brothers I actually intended to get some work done today. The last time we'd been topside with the Shell Raiser, Raph had run out of ammo and we'd almost been blown sky-high. It occurred to me after that that it might be a good idea to have several backup defense mechanisms. Right now I was working on a blueprint for two medium-sized pellet guns, one attached to either side of the Shell Raiser. Of course, they required plastic pellets for ammunition, the kind they make at recycling centers. Which meant of course that we'll have to hijack them. Leo won't be too happy about that. Come to think of it Sensei won't be happy either.
"Whatcha workin on?"
I jumped out of my chair and whirled to face my addresser, blowtorch in hand.
Leo jumped back and held a hand up in surrender. "Whoa! Time to switch to decaf Donnie!"
I let out a sigh and stared at my older sibling inquiringly. "Leonardo. Is there something you needed?"
He brought his arm down and cradled the other arm gently. My eyes narrowed. "What happened?"
"I think I pulled a muscle. In my shoulder." Leo replied slowly.
"That's not like you. You're usually so careful. Sensei won't be too pleased." I said, guiding him over to sit on the edge of the examination table.
There was a soft murmur of agreement and a soft nod. "He wasn't." Leo admitted. He winced as I extended the arm and examined it.
I glanced down at him, with a gentle smile. "Looks like you won't be going topside for the next few nights."
Leonardo's frown deepened. "That's what I was afraid of." He muttered.
"Ice it a little bit and then take these." I handed him a couple of mild pain killers. "You can use it a little, but no more training, unless you want to be out of the action all week."
Leo sighed, but nodded reluctantly. My lips pressed into a mild frown. Leonardo hated missing training but in this case it's for his own good.
My older brother hopped off the table and I accompanied him to the door. I glared at him sternly, "Remember, rest!" I commanded just as the door opened and Raphael sauntered in, his signature smirk on his face.
"How's the arm?" Raph said goadingly, and Leonardo glared daggers at him.
"Shut up Raph!" Leo snarled, shoving my immediate older brother out of the way.
Raphael looked after him and I watched the tough guy mask fall from his face. He stared after Leonardo, hurt flashing briefly through his eyes, before he turned back to me, "Donnie?"
He didn't even have to elaborate. I knew exactly what he wanted. Reassurance. "Leo's arm will be fine. Though it'll take a couple days of rest."
Raph frowned and nodded with an almost unreadable expression on his face. I briefly wondered what thoughts were crossing that rather odd mind of his. His eyes glazed over as he moved beyond the here and now, to some other line of thought. The next thing I knew the rather dejected, and hurt look was back, and he realized I had been watching him. Fiery green eyes cooled and went flat as he recognized the silent understanding I emoted to him.
As he walked away it occurred to me that there had to have been a reason for his presence, and for Leo's rather caustic tone.
So the two of them had been training together, presumably sparring when Leo strained himself. Still, it was obvious Raphael felt guilty. I just hope Leonardo realizes it wasn't intentional. Otherwise Raph is going to dwell on it until he drives himself to injury. I went back to the blueprints, my thoughts still swirling around my older brothers.
I was just nodding off when someone burst into my lab, running over to me and bouncing about energetically. "Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie!" My youngest sibling yelled excitedly and I groaned with annoyance and fatigue. Though, all things considered, Mikey had amazingly not disturbed me once until now. That's a feat in and of itself. Leo and Raph must have been working hard to keep him entertained.
I blinked up at my little brother slowly, making no move to get up from my chair.
"Leo and I are gonna watch a movie! You wanna join us?!"
"Sure," I muttered, then rubbing my eyes tiredly I asked, "What time is it?"
Mikey canted his head to one side. "Uh, like six-ish I think. It's already dark topside."
I nodded sleepily, letting out an undignified yelp of protest as Michelangelo yanked me out of my chair and dragged me out the door.
I sat in the front room with Leo and Mikey, the three of us sitting side by side on the couch. I smiled slightly, thankful that Michelangelo and I were so close. Sure Mikey could be a thorn in my side sometimes, as well as one of the most annoying little brothers in all existence, but he was undoubtedly the best younger sibling I could ask for. If it weren't for Mikey, I don't think my life would be the same.
I certainly wouldn't be as close to Leonardo as I am.
Or Raphael. Though, I must admit that Raph and I have never had too much in common. He was always poking fun at me or looking down on me for being a genius. But, all things considered, Raph isn't a bad brother. In fact, I suppose he's quite a good brother. He knows when to leave me alone and when to give me a pep-talk. He knows not to pester me when I have a lot on my plate, but he also knows when to step in and force me to take a break. I smirked to myself. In all truth, Raph's the only one of my brothers who's even remotely successful at forcing me to take a break. Though, more often than not, I begin to wonder which of us really is the older. I can't even tell you how many times my immediate older brother had been injured, relying on me to save his life. And it terrifies me every single time.
Sometimes I feel like my role in this family is less than necessary. I mean, sure I fix anything that gets broken, I build things for them, but what does that amount to? I heal them when they're sick or injured, I help them when they're in trouble. But I'm not like Leo or Mikey. I'm not the oldest, I don't bear the responsibility of protecting the four of us. But I'm not the youngest either. I don't have a cheery disposition. I don't have the strength to hold my family together as Mikey does.
And Raph...Raphael and I...
Come to think of it, I guess we're much more alike than we seem. We both crave attention and a place in the family. Where I used my intelligence to gain that attention and incontrovertible role, Raphael did not. He has no real place...well unless one counts his reputation for being a troublemaker.
When it comes down to it, Leonardo was the leader, Michelangelo was the energy and spunk, I was the brains and Raph...
Raph. There had always been times where I'd thought about my position in the family. Times where I felt useless and unwanted, but I had never considered that perhaps, if the hurt I'd perceived in Raph's eyes earlier was any indication, that perhaps Raph felt the same way. I frowned. I was brought back to the present by the sound of my younger brother's voice.
"Whoa, Don! Earth to Don!" My brown eyes met Leo's slowly. "You okay?"
I nodded, but my frown deepened. "Yes, I was just...thinking about something."
Leo raised an eye-ridge.
"Where's Raphael?" I asked, realizing for the first time that the brother in question was nowhere to be seen. Leo's eyes narrowed in displeasure. And I glared back at him unabashedly. "You mean you still haven't forgiven him for earlier?" I asked warily.
"Why should I?" Leonardo spat back angrily. Michelangelo glanced from him to me with a sad look on his face.
My eyes burned with anger. Now that I'd gained an insight into Raph's character and feelings, I wasn't about to let Leo talk about him like that. Leonardo just didn't understand. "Because he's already hurting." I growled lowly. "He's already blaming himself."
That shut Leo up for a moment and his eyes softened. I took advantage of the opportunity to try and get Leo to understand while he was willing to listen. "Leonardo, Raphael came to the lab to make sure that you were going to be alright." I stated, and then continued, in a gentle whisper, "He was already kicking himself for what had happened. I saw the hurt in his eyes." There was a pause, and I could see that Leonardo already felt like an ass for treating Raphael the way he had. "Where is he?" I asked again.
"He's been in his room all day." Mikey said quietly, the heavy silence weighing down on them. "If I'd known he was upset..."
I put a gentle hand on my little brother's shoulder. "You couldn't have known, Mikey."
Leo stood slowly and moved behind the couch, staring silently down the hallway at Raph's room. "I'll go talk to him."
I nodded in approval and stared after him as he walked swiftly down the hall. He knocked on my immediate older brother's door gently. There was no reply. Leo knocked again a little louder and a little more urgently. "Raph. I want to talk to you." Silence. "Raph?" Leonardo asked, pushing the door open gently. Leo's posture stiffened.
"He's not here." He said, his voice raised so that we could hear clearly. I jumped up and moved over to him.
The corners of my mouth bent down into a frown.
"What do we do?" Mikey asked worriedly.
"Nothing." I answered, prompting both my brothers to stare at me. "I'll wait up for him. I can talk to him. He-he knows I saw."
"But shouldn't I..." Leo began, but I cut him off.
"Leo, Raph probably won't be back until late tonight and you need as much rest as you can get if you want to be training again in a couple of days. I have a feeling that Raphael's mind wouldn't sit kindly with the idea that your recovery had been prolonged because of his activities."
"How do you understand him?" Leo said, staring at me inquiringly. His face was filled with wonder.
I smiled sadly. "You're forgetting Leonardo. I'm a middle child too." I replied softly, evading Michelangelo's comforting arm as he reached towards me. If there was one thing I could say about being a middle child, it was that I had learned to be my own council. I had grown accustomed to not expecting comfort.
But now that I thought about it, whenever I did need someone to comfort me it was always Raph. Perhaps he had known all along, that I wouldn't take attention away from my little brother and seek my father's comfort. Perhaps he had known I wouldn't interrupt Leo's training to share my concerns. Because he was the same way. But...who had comforted Raphael? Spike. I realized. Spike had been Raph's only comfort. The only one that would listen. But now that Spike was...Slash, there was no one. What did Raph do now?
I returned from my thoughts, and noticed at the frown on my brothers' faces as they stared at me.
Mikey looked upset. "Donnie, Just because you and Raph are in the middle doesn't mean-" he began, but I cut him off.
"Mikey, I know Sensei doesn't love any one of us more than another, but Raphael and I...we've always been reluctant to take the focus off of you. Though, honestly Raph definitely tries with Leo. But, I think sometimes Raph does what he does to get attention, no matter if it's positive or negative. He wants to be respected, by all of us. But especially you Leo. I think that's why he fights with you all the time." I said with a smile.
Leonardo looked very serious, "But Donnie, I do respect him."
I scoffed slightly, "He doesn't think so."
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Raph didn't return until late that night. He was unscathed, so that was a good sign. I was laying down on the couch. Leo and Mikey had gone to bed after we'd finished the movie. None of us had told Sensei what was going on, but I think Leonardo intended to tell him in the morning. But as soon as Raph walked in I pulled out of my thoughts and sat up, startling him.
Raph jumped slightly, his hands heading for his sai, before he registered my face in the dark. "Donnie? What the shell are you doin' up?"
"Waiting for you." I answered curtly.
Raphael frowned disapprovingly. "You shouldn't have done that." he muttered.
"Why not? I have, after all, the right to be concerned about my brother."
He scoffed, "Why should you be?"
My eyes narrowed and I stood up, making my way around the couch and staring down at him. He glared right back. Finally, my gaze softened and I murmured. "You're my brother, Raphael. I don't like it when you're hurting."
His frown deepened, but he said nothing so I went on.
"Raph I...I know how it feels to be a middle child. Feeling as though you aren't loved as much, or that you don't matter. I know it hurts. It hurts because you feel like you can't do anything right and that everyone resents you for it. But it isn't your fault. Raph...you don't deserve to feel that way." The next thing I knew I was being pulled into a strong embrace as my immediate older brother held me close.
"I don't want you to feel that way, Donnie. I've never wanted you to feel that way, but you've been feeling that way, haven't you? That's how you know what I'm feeling! How could I not have noticed? I feel...I feel like such a failure! What kind of brother am I?!" He yelled reproachfully, but I only held him tighter.
"The best kind." I stated with such certainty that he pulled away and looked up at me slowly. "You never ask questions, you just offer quiet comfort. You're always there for me. Whenever I need you. You're the best brother ever Raphie."
Tears filled his eyes and he shook his head, pulling away from me, letting my arms slip off his shoulders. "Get to bed Donnie. You need to sleep."
"Only if you promise we can talk about this tomorrow."
"Don..." Raph said warningly.
"If you don't I'll ask Sensei to get you up for early morning training."
"Go ahead." Raph said evenly, making me frown.
I tried to think up a better threat. It hit me and I smirked victoriously, "I'll ask him to have you grounded for a month."
There was silence.
"No patrols, no going topside," Raph froze in his tracks, "No beating thugs, no bashing bots..." I let my voice fade away at the endless possibilities.
Finally after a few moments he growled, "Fine. Just let me get some sleep."
"G'night Raphie." I murmured, watching him go to his room. A few minutes later I went into my own and fell onto the bed into a deep sleep.
Raphael is going to be alright. I'll keep an eye on him. After all, us two middle siblings have to stick together.