NOTE: This chapter was difficult to write. I had to go back through the chapters because it's based on two specific characters...I know you've been waiting for this kind of scene. I hope you enjoy this because I think the next chapter will probably...make you freak out. You know that idea that scared me (that I mentioned on Twitter)...it won't happen in this chapter.
Anyway, happy 20th chapter! I dedicate this chapter to @LoveTheWanted97! Thanks for reading! :)
SPACE
Christine sat on the patio swing for what seemed like half a day, but it really had only been three hours. She was able to take in the quietness by staring at the breathtaking view. Now that the sun was slowly setting, and the sky was growing dark, she wondered what everyone was doing inside the house and thought about going back.
At the same time Christine enjoyed the tranquility. She propped her elbow on the armrest and rest the side of her head on the palm of her hand. She began to slightly rock the swing back and forth; while doing so though, it made her slightly drowsy after sitting there for so long.
“Uh…hey.” She immediately stopped rocking the swing; that familiar Manchester accent of his was the last voice she wanted to hear. She felt his presence move closer to the chair, but she didn’t budge. Eventually he sat on the opposite end of the swing. “You have every right to give me the silent treatment right now…”
Christine wanted to punch him in the face. She wanted to shout at him for what he’s done and tell him how much his gesture brought her back to her past; how he was just like every guy she’s ever tried to date, or became friends with…like Matt.
But no, she knew he wasn’t like Matt…Max couldn’t be that guy. He must have a reason for ditching her.
“Words cannot express how sorry I am,” he continued, but stammered. “…I never expected…about your parents…I-I should have considered your feelings first.”
Christine leaned back on the swing. She felt Max’s eyes on her, assuming it was a look of sorrow and guilt. She closed her eyes and sighed. “…Why did you do it?”
“I figured you’d want to spend more time with Jay, and I had already made a plan to go out with my mates—I know, I’m an idiot, me.”
“But Jay went out anyway.”
“I-I know…we both tend to turn to beer to cool off from each other…” He frowned. “I’m really sorry—I should have gone to you first. It was wrong of me to leave you.”
Christine still avoided his gaze and smoothed the skirt of her uniform. This rational confrontation from Max wasn’t so bad after all.
“I know I’ve wasted good seats for the basketball game, but I really want to make it up to you.” Max said furthermore. “We’ve never really offered any of this to the house staff, but tomorrow night we’ve got a gig at the Palladium…and I’d like you to come along with us. Watch us play from backstage. It’ll be a lot of fun.”
Christine still kept her mouth shut, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about his offer. It was a good deal—they have seen her work, now it’s time to reciprocate.
Max stared at her expectantly, as if waiting for her response. But as a minute rolled past, he let out a sigh and stood up. “Guess I’ll leave you now.”
He began to walk away from the swing in slight defeat. Christine bit on her bottom lip and thought quickly about his apology. In result he did admit that he was wrong and was willing to make it up to her. She had to give him props for this confrontation anyway; most guys she knew would never even consider doing this. After his apology, she knew he wasn’t another Matt. She had to give him another chance. “Max.”
Max spun around. Christine saw he was already halfway to the pool. She finally stood up from the swing, stretched a little after sitting for so long, and finally caught up with him. She looked upon his gray eyes, and only briefly, she was reminded of when they first met. Who knew that she would become attached to him and the band after almost two weeks?
“I’ll take that offer,” She simply said, “Just…don’t do that again.”
“I won’t.” He replied, staring back at her. “…You must have gone through a lot to get here, didn’t you?”
“Yeah…” Christine immediately knew he was referring to her parents. She pressed her lips together, now contemplating about telling him what she told Nathan. Knowing that she can’t keep her feelings bottled up inside anymore, she wasn’t just going to tell Jay—she was going to tell the rest of the band.
The thought of telling them all kind of scares her.
“Chris? Chris, you alright?” Max asked.
Christine snapped out of her daze when she heard Max speak a little louder. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m fine. We’re good now. Promise. Let’s go back inside now.”
She and Max walked towards the house, where they immediately noticed Tom, Jay, Nathan, and Siva have all been watching them through the sliding glass doors. When they caught their eyes, they scattered around, and looked to be doing something.
“Nosy bastards.” Max muttered before Christine slid the door open. She giggled.
As they went inside, Jay and Tom were now playing pool with Nathan watching with a bag of freshly popped popcorn, while Siva was seen diving into the kitchen.
“Right, I’ll go see what Seev’s up to in the kitchen.” Max then gave Christine a one-arm hug with a kiss on the head. She smiled softly and watched him walk away.
Christine turned to the three boys at the pool table. Tom was bent down with his hazel eyes fully concentrated on where to hit the black ball next. Jay on the other hand, was studying his next move. She gave Nathan a little smile before she went over to Jay.
“You okay now?” Jay asked her while she leaned into him. He moved his free arm around her back.
“Yeah…we’re good.” She nodded. “Can’t wait to see you guys perform.”
He raised his eyebrows, seemingly surprised. “Oh, was that what he decided to do for you? Brilliant! Get ready to cream your face off.”
She leaned back slightly and squint her eyes at Jay. She knew what he meant, but she thought the way he phrased it was strange. Nathan was heard laughing in the background. “…That’s a nice way to put it.”
“What? It will blow your brains out.” Jay added.
“I haven’t seen you live, so…you’re getting a little ahead of yourself, there, Jay.”
“He’s not lying—it’ll be wicked!” Nathan chimed in.
“Really?” Christine turned her head to Nathan, who nodded rapidly. Her eyes then fell on Tom, who was unusually quiet; he was still paying attention to a specific ball on the pool table. But now intrigued, she turned her focus now back to Jay and asked. “As a first timer, what will it be like? Describe the feeling.”
“Hmm…” Jay folded his arms, but lifted one up and tapped his index finger over his chin. He looked up in a brief contemplation.
Christine watched him amusedly. She exchanged glances with Nathan, who shook his head. “Is it really a question to think about when you’ve done millions of shows?”
“Actually, no, it’s like this.” Jay suddenly dropped his cue stick, placed his hands between her on either side of her waist, and crashed his lips into hers. His sudden gesture was definitely confusing, but soon enough Christine quickly followed his lead and thought about how this could be relevant to her question.
As it turned out it was relevant. It was that adrenaline high kind of feeling; that moment of escapism, of all worries disappearing; a connection that only a fan and musician can share—at that moment however, it was shared by Jay and Christine.
Christine soon understood Jay’s analogy, but the thought of it had slipped away when she found herself lost in this kiss—he really emphasized it well. Wrapped in each other’s embrace, it was like they were the only two in the room.
It was the sound of what seemed like a crack and clank on the floor that broke their kiss. Christine felt something against her foot and lifted her leg slightly; she and Jay looked down to see that three of the solid colored balls from the pool table. She watched them slowly roll away in different directions.
“My fault, sorry.” Tom said almost innocently. Christine looked up at him as he set the stick on the table. “The black 8 went in one of the pockets, so…I guess I lose.”
“No worries mate,” Jay replied and crouched down to pick up the balls. Christine continued to study Tom. That encounter she had with him yesterday was still creeping in her brain. She still wanted to have a moment to speak with him, but not with Jay around.
Tom caught Christine’s eye while Jay was on the floor. It chilled her from the way he stared at her; he had a hint of sadness, of longing in his eyes. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Somehow what he said about losing made her wonder if…
They looked away when Jay finally stood up. He exhaled a sigh. He set the balls back and started setting the balls back in its pockets. “Here we go.”
Christine noticed Nathan’s confused expression on his face; he was fixated on Tom, who now stood next to him. She couldn’t hear them, but she tried to make out what they were saying to each other. She watched their quiet conversation unfold by watching their lips.
“What was that?” Nathan asked.
“What was what mate?”
“That thing with her; you li—”
“Where’d you get that idea?” He replied nonchalantly.
Christine didn’t want to pay attention to this conversation anymore; she hoped Jay wasn’t tuning in, either. She placed a hand over his arm while he grabbed all the cue sticks. “Hey, I’m gonna go see what there’s to eat. I haven’t eaten yet.”
“Oh, Erin fixed up something for you in the kitchen. Pretty sure Max is eating it right now, but you can still check.”
She squints at him playfully before she walked her way to the kitchen. On her way, she heard Jay ask Tom for a rematch, in which Tom agreed, and hurried footsteps near her. Nathan.
“Quite a show you lot put on.” Nathan nudged her shoulder. She knew he was going to mention what happened.
“It was interesting to say the least…” Christine replied smoothly.
“Heh, yeah Jay tends to describe things in…graphic detail.”
Christine turned back to see Tom and Jay back in pool game mode. Strangely enough there was no awkwardness between them. It was as though she never visited. She chewed on her bottom lip, still thinking of that moment she had with Tom. It began to scare her just as much as her plan to tell the rest of the band about her past. Maybe she wasn’t really ready to tell them yet…
“Still dreaming about Jay, Chris?” Christine heard Nathan ask.
A blush formed across her face. She rolled her eyes playfully and finally made her way into the kitchen. She didn’t want Nathan to know who she really was thinking of. “Leave me alone, Nath.” Thankfully he did, but that didn’t stop him, Max, and Siva (who Nathan later told about Jay’s experiment) from teasing any more about it.
Later that night while Max, Siva, Nathan, Tom and Jay went out to treat the three new girls, Christine climbed up to the living room in her jammies. She declined the offer to go out because she wanted to sleep in early.
But that was a lie. Truth is Christine wasn’t much of a fan of going out with a big group of people, especially after the things she had gone through with her ex-friends. The only person who would understand this was Nathan. Plus, with her not being with them, it’ll give the new girls a chance to get to know the band better.
With most of the house staff now asleep, and her friends still out, it was almost as though she had the mansion to herself. She wanted to turn on the stereo and dance; she wanted to make her own popcorn bag and put on a movie. She could do anything in the mansion, but since she had a finished Harry Potter book in hand—as she had been reading before bed lately, she decided to make a trip to the library room upstairs to find the second book.
A few minutes later after she switched books and left the library, Christine was already eager to lie in her own bed and read the first few chapters. Just as she walked to the stairs, she was taken aback by the sound of an acoustic guitar playing.
She froze mid-step, shifting her eyes left and right with her ears open. This was odd, she thought. She thought everyone in the band was out. She moved a few steps closer to the sound slowly; when she was close enough, she realized the guitar strums came from Tom’s room. She could even hear a soft and somewhat raspy singing voice come out from it.
Christine wasn’t sure if it was right to go in. At the same time, if it was Tom in there, that meant she could have a moment with him—a moment she wanted to have since she last caught up with him. Knowing Jay and Max, they and the rest of the group will probably be out all night.
She crept up to Tom’s door, which was slightly open. From there, she could make out what he was singing: I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz.
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Christine bit the bottom of her lip and pushed the door cautiously and discreetly, so he wouldn’t at least notice she was there yet. There he sat on his bed, in a white tank and boxer shorts, with an acoustic guitar sat on his lap. His eyes were closed, or so they looked from where she stood.
Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up…
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
It stunned her to hear how good Tom’s voice was; sure, it wasn’t up to par with Nathan’s, but his voice was so good, soothing, sexy…
Christine continued to become mesmerized by his musicality as he sang. In the next verse, his voice began to escalate. She almost melted. It was almost as though he was serenading her, despite him not knowing she was there.
“God knows we’re worth i—ahem, what.” Tom soon met Christine’s eyes and stopped playing abruptly. “I-er, h-how long have you been standing there?”
He seemed to look a little flustered, and maybe even a little embarrassed. Christine, too, suddenly felt this way, especially after he finally caught her standing there. She chuckled lightly. “A few minutes give or take…I-I like what I heard.”
She thought that giving him a compliment would relax him a little bit. He set the guitar against his bed and cleared his throat. “Thought you were asleep by now.”
It was only after 10:30 in the evening. Christine replied back, “I thought you went out with everyone else.”
Tom shrugged. “I didn’t…I stayed in.”
“Oh.”
A whiff of awkward silence came between them again, almost similar to their last meeting almost two days ago. It was déjà vu, though maybe this time Christine could finally have a talk with him. She just didn’t know how or where to start.
“Fancy a beer?” Tom asked suddenly as he stood up. Christine watched him confusedly while he walked around his bed, and noticed what she didn’t realize before, to a tiny refrigerator hidden under his desk.
This made her chuckle. He bent forward, grabbed two blue bottled Bud Light Platinums, and showed them to her. He then pointed to the window next to him, which meant the roof.
“I believe I owe you this from the other night.”
She remembered the moment in the backyard, where she was able to express her feelings to him. Siva was acting drunk and strange, and Jay was M.I.A. But somehow it was harder to talk to him. Even if Jay or the others weren’t around, she felt a sudden awkwardness around him. She suddenly couldn’t trust herself if she sat with Tom…
Christine set the book on his bed as she slowly walked in. She decided to just go for it; she wanted to be as cautious as possible so that he wouldn’t notice anything strange about her.
When Christine reached him, he gave her the beer bottles while he lifted his window open and climbed out. She noticed that his view was above the backyard, into the distance of what she looked at today. He offered his hand to help her climb.
Luckily the roof was slightly slanted, almost like they were on top of a roof of an apartment building. They sat together, while Tom twisted open both bottles, and handed one to her.
“The first night we moved in,” Tom began. “Me and the lads all sat here—except for Nath, though…he’s not really into heights.”
Christine took a swig of her beer and felt the bitter taste of it. She turned to Tom, “…Is Nathan just afraid of heights? Last night he’d rather hang out with the fans than ride on the Ferris wheel with me and Siva.”
“Oh, is that what you lot did yesterday? You went to the Pier?”
“Yep. Those two know how to make a girl feel better.”
“Yeah…they’re the best go-to lads. I’m happy they were able to cheer you up. But to answer your question: Nath isn’t a big fan of heights. If we asked him to jump from here to the pool, he’d be scared shitless.”
Christine laughed at the thought of Nathan being dared to do such a thing. “He probably wouldn’t come past the window.”
“Hell, not even come in! He hasn’t visited my room since!”
It wasn’t as bad as Christine thought; they continued to laugh about Nathan’s fear of heights while drinking beers, and later shared the same sentiments about the hillside and distant view of Los Angeles.
“This is why I chose this room in the first place—it’s got the best view. I feel like a king, to be honest, just by looking at this.” Tom drank a bit more of his beer, which was nearly finished.
“It’s so unreal…It makes you think.” Christine stared into the distance that was filled with tiny dots of lights.
“What are you thinking right now?” Tom asked.
She stiffened. What was she thinking of right now, at that moment? Her dream with him; his appearance with Zoe; the hallway encounter; the moment they shared earlier that day…everything. Even though she hasn’t spoken in depth with Jay about where they were in their relationship, there was always Tom in the back of her mind, and she hated it. She liked being with Jay in any moment they shared. It was as though Tom was just a figment of her imagination, almost always never around.
Except now he was sitting next to her.
Christine felt his curious hazel eyes on her. This was the moment she didn’t want to come. She didn’t know where to start. She gulped. “Zoe.”
She turned to him, watching him nod slowly. He sighed. “I had no idea who she was until she told me she was looking for you. She tried to get information about you from me, but I told her I wasn’t aware of you. But since I tried to cover for you, she spoke of your days as a…prostitute…”
Christine was stunned by what she was hearing. Of course Zoe would try and give Christine a bad name; it was part of her specialty for revenge. “That…bitch.”
He continued. “She claimed that you two were good friends, and, well…she said a lot. She said you’d allow any bloke in you.”
Christine felt violated. She was in disbelief. “Ugh…were being the key word. She’d spread lies about me to anyone, and they’d believe it.”
“It didn’t sound like you.” Tom answered. “…It even bothered me that I had to babysit her throughout the night while she slept. I didn’t want her waking up anyone else.”
“You…you didn’t sleep with her?”
“No! Of course not.”—Christine was relieved to hear this—“I had to make sure she didn’t cause any trouble…which she ended up doing…”
Christine remembered the near altercation she had with Zoe. She was glad that she was prevented from doing anything stupid in front of everyone she knew.
Tom continued. “And I apologize for it. It was unfair of her to say the things she said about you. I know you don’t deserve that.”
She wanted to tell him what happened after her parents left. She wanted to explain everything that she told Nathan, but she felt it wouldn’t be fair if Siva, Max, and Jay weren’t there to hear—especially Jay. She chose her words carefully, licking her lips. “I just…didn’t like that my past decided to come back ever since I started working here.”
Christine heaved a deep breath and looked further in the distance again. She was doing well, she thought. Talking with Tom made her slightly better about the things that had been bottling up inside from him.
“Listen…” Tom spoke in concern, “If you need your space to figure things out, I wouldn’t mind leaving you here for a bit. You’re free to come up here any time.”
“Thanks, but…I think I’ll head downstairs now. It’s getting pretty late.”
“Sure.” He let her crawl back in the window first before he did. She set the now empty beer bottle on top of his fridge and began to walk towards the door. He followed.
When Christine reached the hallway and turned to face him again, Tom leaned on the doorframe, awaiting their goodbyes for the night. She was at least grateful for him to give her some more space, but part of her still wanted for them to go back on that roof and talk some more. There was still so much to say… “Thanks for the beer. It was a good talk.”
“Anytime, Chris. We should do it again.” He added with a soft smile. “You know what? I’m glad you liked what you heard earlier…it means a lot.”
“Of course.” She returned the smile. “Is it about anyone in particular?”
He shrugged. “…It’s complicated.”
“Oh, okay.” She nodded and held his gaze. His eyes were hard to look away from…
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Don’t worry about me, though…we’ve got a big day ahead.” He took a step back and held the door. “Sweet dreams, Christine.”
“You, too, Tom…” She watched him close his door, and once again, the hallway was silent.
Even though the door was closed, Christine was still staring at the door. She began to process her time with him. In short, it was progress. She may not have the same relationship with him as Siva, Nathan, or Max, but they were getting there.
She started going down the stairs after a minute or so; she thought of their brief chat about Zoe, the need for space, the view, and the song…
The song was about someone…but who? He said it was complicated to say.
She began to wonder. It can’t be about Ashley; Tom and the others haven’t mentioned her in a while. Lyla? She doubted it—he was just as upset at Lyla like Nathan was.
Christine reached the bottom of the stairs and nearly slipped. Just as she held onto the bar, she suddenly realized who it was.
She recounted those moment of his signals again: Lyla’s intervention, Zoe, the hallway incident, the kisses with Jay, and now the moment in his room...it was her.
The song was about her.
The vision of him catching her fall on the second day flew past in her mind; she remembered the things she heard, and the things he’s done…and while she never admitted it to herself, she found him attractive. Now figuring out he might possibly have feelings for her, it was something that she can’t answer aloud…because she might feel the same way, too.