summary: steve takes his new girl to meet his best girl.
word count: 3308
trigger warnings: angst, angst, and more angst. I'm so sorry.
okay this is seriously my most favorite thing that I've ever written, period. it kind of leans more steggy at times, but I promise, there's still a big chunk of steve x reader in there.
also-- would you guys be interested to see this expanded into a part II? let me know. x
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NOVEMBER 1943
The bar was dark, dingy, and filled to the brim with soldiers, drunk of their asses in an effort to forget the horrors of the things they had faced. Steve Rogers, having just finished recruiting the men he thought to be the best of the best to his Howling Commandos, was attempting to make his way to the bar to order a drink, though it wouldn't do him much good. He saw a familiar head of dark brown hair leaning up against the bar counter by the jukebox, surveying the very few young women who were in the room.
Bucky Barnes smiled widely as Steve approached him, though his eyes were still a little guarded, hesitant. Even though it had been several weeks since he'd been rescued, Bucky still had a hard time adjusting to the sight of Steve. In the span of time since Bucky had last seen him, his best friend had gained six inches and a hundred or so pounds. Not to mention, women's eyes now followed Steve when he entered a room, and they looked crushed when he hardly spared them a second glance. Bucky himself was used to evoking this sort of reaction in women, but Steve? It was practically unheard of.
And that agent, the one with the dark hair and dark eyes, she and Steve had something going on. She was fiery, headstrong, beautiful, and one hell of a match for Steve. Bucky wouldn't be surprised that when this damn war was over, and they were back home, that Steve married her. He hoped that happened, anyway. If anyone deserved a little bit of good luck, it was Steve Rogers.
Bucky pushed away his thoughts, which were steadily turning darker and darker, and instead refocused on his conversation with Steve.
"You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?" Steve asked, a hint of seriousness in his playful tone.
Bucky contemplated his answer for half a millisecond before responding. "Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him."
Steve's gaze softened, and just as he was about to respond the door opened, and the entire bar fell silent. Bucky whipped his head around to see the agent, Peggy Carter, saunter in, clad in a bright red dress and even brighter lipstick. Her eyes were cool, dark, betraying no hint of emotion as she joined Steve and Bucky at the bar. However, Bucky was sure that he saw a hint of something flash across her face when she looked at Steve.
"Captain," Peggy said softly.
"Agent Carter," Steve responded just as quietly, though there was a hint of nervousness in his tone that hadn't been present in Peggy's.
Smooth, Rogers, Bucky thought silently. He then smiled in what he thought was a charming, boyish way before offering Peggy a "Ma'am," with a nod of his head. She, not unlike Steve with the other women in this bar, hardly looked his way.
Bucky watched silently--slightly stunned--as Peggy and Steve exchanged a few more words before the attractive brunette turned to leave. Steve stared after her like a puppy dog, eyes slightly bulged and filled with an emotion that Bucky could only describe as love.
"I'm invisible. I'm turning into you, it's like a horrible dream," Bucky joked.
Steve turned to him, a small smirk on his face. "Don't take it so hard. Maybe she's got a friend."
SEPTEMBER 2014
That day in the bar, when hopes had been so high and thoughts of death and growing old so low, seemed like a million years ago to Steve Rogers. He had been chipped away and thawed from the ice several years previously, but still, adjusting to the modern world was a challenge. He didn't truly grasp what the Internet was, or why iPhones were such a big deal, and why everyone was freaking about about rumors of a new Stars Wars movie. He didn't get the fashion, or the hair, or the makeup. Nothing about those lit-up neon signs in Times Square made sense to him.
He had nothing from his previous life, nothing except for the few artifacts that had gone into the ice with him. Bucky had been dead for nearly seventy years, the rest of his team for decades. There was only one person, in fact, who still tied him to his old life. She was old and frail now, and barely able to move around on her own, but she was still the Peggy Carter that Steve had so deeply loved for so long. She was still so vibrant, intelligent, still so beautiful in her old age.
He'd been visiting her for almost a year now, ever since he caught a whisper that she was still alive. The visits, although a sort-of therapy for him, weren't without heartache. Steve was lucky if he made it through a visit without his throat feeling thick with tears as he had to re-meet Peggy again and again, and see the pain and sorrow in her eyes as she recognized him. Steve wasn't even sure that Peggy realized that he was real, and not a figment of her imagination, dreamt up from her bloody past of battle fields and front lines.
There were good days, though. Sometimes, Steve would walk in the door, usually carrying a bouquet of flowers, and Peggy's eyes would light up with recognition. She would smile so brightly at him that his heart ached, and then she would eagerly gesture to the chair across the room from her bed. They would continue their conversations from his previous visit, and if Steve tried hard enough, he could nearly make himself believe that it was 1943 again, and he and Peggy were young, and he was in his uniform and she in hers, and they were dancing. They would twirl around the floor, bodies pressed close together, and say all of the words they'd held back for far too long.
Then, Peggy would have a coughing fit, and Steve's eyes would jerk open, and the pleasant dream would vanish. His heart would feel with sorrow, and he would tell Peggy yet again that someday, they'd have that dance that he owed her. She would laugh weakly, and pat his hand, and tell him that she was far too old to be swung around a dance floor like a young woman.
Steve would try to smile with Peggy, but his insides would churn with guilt. In truth, he had met someone: You. You were a beautiful girl in your twenties-- smart, vivacious, and lovely. You filled a hole in Steve that had existed long before the war, and you made him feel at peace with the world he now lived in. In a way, you reminded him of Peggy. Your strong-headed nature and iron-clad will made you infuriating and irresistible all at once, so much like the woman that Steve had loved so many years ago.
Peggy knew about his new love, and in fact, was the one who encouraged Steve to pursue your relationship. When Steve had insinuated that he wasn't sure that he was ready for to be with someone, Peggy had lightly slapped him on the arm and told him to go after you before he lost his chance. She then reminded him, somewhat sadly, that she had lived a full life, and it was now his chance to live his.
So, the very next day he had asked you out. You were working at Stark Industries as a lab tech when you met, but soon after, Tony Stark had recruited you to work as the head doctor of the Avengers' medical team. Steve had caught you after you finished a shift one day, and you had dinner that very same evening.
That had been seven months ago, and Steve was in love. He hadn't told you this yet, though, as he wasn't sure how. In his years of living, he'd only ever been in love with one other woman, and he hadn't had the guts to tell her how he felt until it was too late.
Now, Peggy wanted to meet you. Steve had been stunned, of course, but Peggy had insisted on becoming acquainted with the woman who had stolen Steve's heart. It had taken several weeks on convincing on Peggy's part, and in the end, Steve couldn't deny his best girl anything that she wanted.
So, he sat down with you one day, and he explained everything. He told you every last dark, dirty detail of the war, and of his best friend, Bucky, and the brilliant Agent Peggy Carter. He told you about the Howling Commandos, and the legacy that they'd left behind. He told you about coming face-to-face with Red Skull, an awful creature so much like the Adolf Hitler you learned about in the history books.
After that night, you knew every detail of Steve Rogers' life, and you were ready to jump into his world, once and for all.
NOVEMBER 2014
You weren't sure why you were so anxious, honestly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Steve, who you had hardly ever seen nervous, was rocking back and forth on his heels, or that you were about to meet Agent Peggy Carter, co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D and badass World War II heroine.
You'd heard stories about Agent Carter growing up from your brother, who'd been obsessed with Captain America and anything from that era as a child. He collected the action figures, read the comic books, and eagerly watched every television broadcast about his favorite superhero. Naturally, you had been drawn in, and you found yourself looking up to Agent Carter from the time that you were very young. In fact, you'd grown up having a picture of the woman tacked to the wall above your bed.
So, when Steve asked you if you would accompany him to see Peggy a few weeks ago, you leaped at the opportunity. You were finally going to meet the woman who you'd admired for so many years... And who was also the almost-ex-girlfriend of the man that you were dating.
The ride over on Steve's motorcycle to the nursing facility that Peggy was staying it seemed to take hours. Your stomach was in knots as Steve parked the bike, and you tried to calm down your rapidly-beating heart. What would you say? What would Peggy say? What if she didn't think you were good enough for Steve?
Steve must have noticed your anxiety, because as he opened the door for you, he grabbed your hand in his and rubbed it soothingly with the back of his thumb. You smiled softly as you glanced down at your entwined hands, but the moment of peace vanished quickly.
"Hi, ma'am. We're here to visit Ms. Peggy Carter," Steve said to the woman at the front desk. Without her having to ask, he signed both of you in on the sheet sitting on the desk.
"First door on the left, honey," the older woman said kindly. "Enjoy your visit, and don't forget to sign out before you leave."
You followed Steve down the hallway into a small, brightly lit room. The walls were paneled with a deep wood, and there were paintings and other personal artifacts littered around the space. A bed was positioned in the middle of the room, and in it lay a grey-haired woman. Her eyes were half-closed, and for a second you feared that you had interrupted her sleeping.
Then, her eyes opened, and a bright smile lit up her weathered face. "Oh, Steve," she croaked. "Do come in."
Steve's face melted into a soft smile, one that you usually caught him using when he looked at you. He crossed the room in three quick strides to stand at Peggy's side. He knelt down, kissed her forehead, and then settled into a chair next to her bed.
"Hey, Peggy," Steve said. "I brought (Y/N) to meet you, just like you asked."
Peggy turned her head slightly, noticing you for the first time. She gestured for you to move into the room, and so you did, hands shaking. You stood before Peggy as she examined you, lips slightly pursed.
Her face broke into a wide smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N). Steve hasn't shut up about you," Peggy laughed. "You're even lovelier than he described."
You blushed as you glanced at Steve. His face was a bright red, and he was trying to avoid meeting your gaze. You turned back to Peggy, attempting to formulate a coherent thought.
"It's such an honor to meet you, Agent Carter. I grew up idolizing you, ma'am. I even had a picture of you tacked up above my bed," you babbled. "When Steve said you wanted to meet me, I couldn't believe it."
Peggy laughed again. "Please, call me Peggy. I'm afraid my days of traipsing around the country with S.H.I.E.L.D. are long over," she turned to Steve. "Steve, you never told me how sweet she was."
"C'mon, Peg, you're embarrassing me." Steve flushed again and reached down to squeeze Peggy's hand.
Peggy only raised her free hand, waving off Steve's complaints. "Oh, hush, Steve. Let an old woman have a little fun," Steve's face fell a little bit. "Would you mind getting me a glass of tea from the cafeteria?"
Steve nodded immediately and sprang to his feet. Once he was out of ear-shot, Peggy beckoned for you to come closer to her. You sat down in the chair that Steve had previously occupied, confused, as you waited for Peggy to speak.
"I'm glad he found you," Peggy said earnestly, voice barely above a whisper. "All of these years, thoughts of Steve and the life that he never got to life have eaten away at me, but now, I feel... A sense of peace, I suppose. When I was first told the news that they had recovered Captain America from the ice, I was stunned, and ecstatic, and completely and utterly heartbroken. I knew that the world he was waking up to was not the same one he left in 1945. I was scared beyond belief for him, and how he would react once he realized that practically everyone he knew was gone.
"The first day that Steve visited me, I still saw the good, brave man I met in Brooklyn all those years ago, but he was different. Broken-down, tired, lost. He's been different these past few months. When Steve first mentioned you to me, his eyes lit up, like how they used to when we were young." Peggy paused and smiled sadly. "He loves you very much, (Y/N). Please, do only good by him."
Tears were gathering in your eyes, and you reached over to squeeze the much older woman's hand gently. "Yes, ma'am," you said. "I do love him, a lot. I plan on spending the rest of my life with Steve Rogers, if the fates will have it."
Suddenly, as you said the words, you realized how true they were. Even though you and Steve had only been dating for a few months, you loved him more deeply than you had ever thought possible. When you thought about where you would be in five, ten, fifteen years, you hoped you would be at Steve's side. He was strong, and had a heart of gold, and was the most sensitive, intelligent man that you had ever met. You loved him.
"I have no doubt that you will live a long, wonderful life with him," Peggy said softly. "It's nice to know that Steve will be taken care of, that he'll have someone who understands when..." Peggy trailed off, but you didn't need her to finish her sentence to know what she meant.
You sat in silence for several minutes until Steve returned, a glass of tea for Peggy in one hand, and a latte in the other for you. Steve pulled up another chair beside you, casually taking your hand in his as you talked to Peggy.
After an hour or two, the door opened and in came a young, blonde twenty-something nurse. She held a small tray of pill bottles and a glass of water in her hands. She smiled apologetically at you and Steve. "I'm sorry, Mr. Rogers and Ms. (Y/L/N), but visiting hours are almost over."
Steve stood up immediately. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. We'll be out of your hair in just a moment." He leaned down and kissed Peggy's forehead softly and squeezed her hand. "I'll be back next week, Peg."
"Goodbye, Steve," Peggy said gently. "And (Y/N), it was lovely to finally meet you." She added.
You leaned down to gently hug the former-agent, and when you tried to pull away she held you back. She leaned close to your ear and whispered words that you would never forget. "Thank you, (Y/N). You have brought a great deal of peace to me today."
For a moment, your heart stopped. The pieces clicked into place, and you realized something. The medications on the tray, the way Peggy had told Steve "goodbye" instead of "see you soon", how she spoke of peace and finality...
Peggy Carter was dying.
Your chest was tight as you tried to gather your composure, and you felt tears stinging your eyes. You managed to croak out, "Of course. I promise you that I will protect him, come what may, Agent Carter."
Then, you released her, and you joined Steve by the door. You exchanged one last long, sorrow look with Peggy, and then the door closed, and then she was gone. You tightened your grip on Steve's arm as he silently led you out of the nursing home and into the streets of New York. You were just about to put on your motorcycle helmet when Steve stopped you. He pulled you into a tight embrace, burying his head against your shoulder.
You were momentarily stunned, and then you realized Steve must have caught the double-meaning of Peggy's words as well. The woman he'd loved for decades upon decades, the woman who'd given him a shot when he was nothing but a scrawny kid from Brooklyn, the woman who'd captured his heart so many years ago and who'd worn that red dress in that bar, she was dying. And after she was gone, the very last link to his old life would be gone as well.
"It'll be okay, Steve," you said, voice cracking on his name. "We'll get through this together, alright? I'll be here. I promised her that I'll be here."
You felt hot tears against your neck, and with a start you realized that Steve was crying. Your heart shattered right then and there into a million tiny splinters, and you felt suddenly the ache and pain that Steve must have been feeling since he first woke up on that day in 2011. You held him more tightly against you, and you wished with every once of your being that you could take his pain away.
But you couldn't. So, you settled for standing out there in the cold November chill, holding Steve Rogers as if your life depended on it. You stroked his hair, whispered soothing things in his ear, and eventually, the tears stopped. It was Steve's turn then, and he told you a hundred times, a million different ways, that he loved you. He promised to stay by your side as long as he lived, to love and cherish you, to be your equal in every was possible. He promised to protect you for all of eternity.
And so did you. True to your word, you were standing at Steve's side, hand-in-hand, at Agent Peggy Carter's funeral, just six days later.