The next week and a half were extremely...boring. After all the excitement of the Boardwalk and the first day of school detention, I regrettably imagined my entire Junior Year to be a byproduct of the rocky, but an entertaining start. However, that was not the case. Everything resumed back to the way it was before; I was invisible.
A few days after the whole Boardwalk escapade, and after apologizing for three days for leaving Amy at the fair without any word from me until the next day, Sean ended things with Amy. He came up with some cliche breakup speech about how he wasn't ready for commitment. Well, at least it was the truth.
She was sad for a minute, but rebounded quickly, as I knew Amy would. It's only been a week and she's already found a new man-interest.
"You're sure you wouldn't be upset? It seemed like you two had a fun night together!" Amy asked. I knew how much my answer relieved her, but she was asking again out of courtesy.
"Seriously, Amy. John seems like a good guy. Go for it," I smiled as picked at my salad in front of me. The cafeteria was bustling as always and Amy and I sat by ourselves against the far wall; perfect view of the entire cafeteria in case any form of drama occurs, but also invisible enough that people didn't notice us.
"Thanks, Brookie," Amy smiled widely and leaned across the table to hug me.
"Never call me that," I mumbled into her ear.
"I know, I know," she giggled and sat back down. "But anyway, can we talk about your surfing lessons? I feel like I haven't heard much about the competition in like four days. That's a long time for you to stop talking about surfing."
"Ha, ha. Very funny," I stuck my tongue out. Amy laughed again.
"No, I'm serious. I know your dad's been tough on you lately, so I just wanted to make sure everything's good." Amy said while taking a bite of her pizza.
My mind flashed back to practice yesterday when I almost lost it completely on my dad for pushing me beyond my limits. We practiced for at least four hours after school and I was beyond exhausted. My mother wasn't too pleased, as I barely even had time for my schoolwork afterward. I remember hearing my parents arguing in the kitchen, long after I was supposed to be in bed. "How is she supposed to get into college if she barely has time to do her schooling," my mother had snapped at my dad, in which he replied, "how is she supposed to get into college without any money," which then sent me to bed with a whole head full of anxious thoughts.
"It's been fine," I lied. My fingers fiddled with the water bottle in front of me and I analyzed every crinkle and word on the bottle. I couldn't look Amy in the eyes. I was a terrible liar.
Some commotion stirred at the other side of the cafeteria and I looked up to see Sean entering the room with a few other guys at his flanks. Someone from the jock table was hollering towards the guys and Sean smirked, throwing a football across the entirety of the cafeteria and hitting the other jock perfectly in the hands. The boys whooped and hollered as Sean approached their table. His eyes drifted towards the side of the cafeteria for a moment, meeting mine for only enough time to make my cheeks flush.
"Just fine," I mumbled again, looking back at the water bottle. It was weird to have spent the entire night of the Boardwalk with the guy and then become elusive again. It's like nothing had ever happened. Maybe it was all just a game after all. His odd confession of attraction, his offer to take me home, him demanding to stay to protect me while I surfed...and then nothing. It was all over as fast as it started.
"What idiots," Amy scoffed, although when John shot a quick nod in her direction, she smiled like a giddy school girl. "Although I suppose not all of them are."
"Just think, you went on a date with that one," I said, cocking my head in Sean's direction.
"Oh, please. Let me have my mistakes," Amy said with a roll of her eyes. "Speaking of Prince Charming, you never told me what happened that night?"
"What do you mean?" I asked in the smoothest, most natural tone I could. I had an alibi for me leaving; my mother came and picked me up because I wasn't feeling well. This is the same story I've recited to Amy all last week. Nothing from my story had to do with Sean, so her accusation accused me. Did she find out that he took me home? She didn't seem mad, but my heart raced.
"John said he was demanding that you go on a ride with him. Kind of odd, but I supposed it's not completely out of the blue. He was talking to me that night about reconciling things between you two. He knew how you felt about him and wanted your approval of us dating, however short-lived it was," Amy tossed her curls behind her shoulder while trying to stay composed.
"Yeah, we did," I said. I wonder just how much John heard.
"And?" Amy's eyes grew big as she pried for information. She thrived off of this kind of drama, but I just wasn't quite sure what she wanted from me; let alone what I was willing to tell her.
"And, what?" I asked with a nervous laugh.
"Well, you tell me! You go on this ride with Sean and then miraculously disappear and don't feel well. Is he that bad?" Amy's eyes stayed focused on mine. Her question wasn't complicated, but her tone made me rethink what she was asking. This was a question for her sake, not mine. She wanted to know if he was really that bad and she didn't see it for herself.
"No," I said, dropping my eyes again. The Ferris wheel wasn't his finest point, but I thought about the car ride home and the simpleness of Sean Parker that I had never witnessed before. "He wasn't that bad."
"So I'm not just a huge idiot who missed the warning signs?" she asked, although she was already cringing at my response. I couldn't help but laugh.
"I still think you're a huge idiot, but I'm saying in this specific circumstance, I could see where he might mislead someone," I said. It wasn't a lie to make her feel better; it was the truth. My cold opinion of Sean Parker has been slightly melted. I could see where there's a certain appeal, but how could anyone ignore the hard facts that he's a player? At least I saved Amy from his oblivious wrath.
"Thanks a lot," she laughed and shoved me in the arm.
After school, I went directly to surfing lessons. My dad seemed a bit more relaxed today and he told me that we would for sure be done by 5 o'clock so I could do my schoolwork and he could help my mother with dinner. My mom must have told him off last night.
Practice was...good. For the first time in two weeks, I felt strongly about today's run. My father was even amused, the corner of his mouth even curling into the smallest smile as I rode my last wave in.
"Not bad, Brooke," my dad said with an approving nod. "That looks more like a winner to me."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," I sighed, tossing my surfboard to the sand. I couldn't help but smile too. To hear my dad admit that I had a good practice today made my heart warm.
"It's a start," he assured me. "I'll see you at home," he said. He pulled me into a quick side-hug before returning to the Jeep and heading home. I sat on the sand for a minute, my wet legs picking up every spare particle of sand it possibly could. I was out of breath but in a good way. I felt thoroughly worked out and I felt more confident than I have in a while. I might win this thing.
"Aw, did I miss it?"
Sean.
I spun around, unable to hide the shock on my face. Sean was walking up the beach in tattered gym clothes and bare feet with a wide smile on his face.
"What are you doing here?' I groaned. Of course, I have one spare moment of confidence and Sean has to come and ruin it.
He settled down beside me. His hair was more matted than normal and his face was sweaty. He took a deep breath as he sat down, letting the air fill his lungs before exhaling.
"Did you run here?" I asked with a laugh.
"Yeah," he said while flipping his wrist up. "Four miles, to be exact."
"You're lying," I said, shaking my head. Why would he run here of all places? Where does he even live?
"I'm not," he said, laughing at my skepticism. "You can check the parking lot, my truck is not here."
"Why would you just randomly go on a run here, of all places?" I asked.
"To see you."
His words hitched in the back of my throat as my fingers fidgeted with the sand between them. I hated how just a few words have so much effect on me, even if they're not real.
"You're funny," I said. "Now why are you really here."
Sean laughed. His honey eyes stared out to the horizon as the sun was beginning its descent. They would match the sky soon enough. The thought intrigued me and made me smile.
"You have to give yourself more credit, Brooke," Sean said with a sideways glance.
Are all guys this confusing?
"Okay," I breathed. My mind was spinning in circles from this man. "You haven't talked to me in over a week and now you randomly show up at the same beach that I'm at? Oh, and you claim that you ran here to see me?"
Sean thought about this for a moment before nodding. His features were completely serious.
"You're not making sense," I said, shaking my head.
Sean rose to his feet, a smile spreading across his face. "Come on, I want to show you something."
"What? Now?" I questioned as he pulled me to my feet. "I have my board with me."
"Just take it with you. It's not far, I promise."
I adjusted my surfboard underneath my arm and turned to Sean's awaiting hand. I stared at his gesture momentarily but started walking past him instead. His eyes fell for a moment before bounding ahead of me.
We walked along the beach for a good five minutes before reaching a rocky ridge poking out into the middle of the sand. I glanced at Sean to check his expression, but he seemed content. We were still going the right way, even if these rocks were blocking the rest of the beach.
When we approached the rock structure, Sean hoisted himself onto one of the smaller rocks and climbed up to an opening that I hadn't noticed before. He looked back at me and smiled, waving his hand for me to follow.
It was a bit difficult to climb with my board, but it wasn't an impossible task. I was up to where Sean was and peered down into the opening. Inside was almost big enough to be a room. The ground was sand inside and the structure around was solid rock. There was even a small opening at the end of the room where a small amount of water rocked in and out of the room with the waves.
"Whoa," I breathed, jumping into the rock-cave. It was one of the most beautiful and secluded places I had ever known to be around here. How was this so close to my home without noticing it?
"Cool, huh?" Sean smirked and jumped in after me.
"This is amazing!" I breathed while imagining how awesome this place would be when I need to get away. What a perfect and private location right next to the water. It was even cooler in here, which is a plus in the hot summer days.
"How did you find this place?" I asked in awe.
"I used to come to this beach all the time when I was little," he said, wandering to the center of the room to sit down. I followed his lead, placing my board against the rock and taking a seat next to him.
"Sometimes I come here to think," he mused, seemingly lost in thought.
"You think?' I teased, tossing my shoulder into his playfully. He rolled his eyes.
"Think you're funny, do you?" he laughed.
"Sometimes," I giggled.
Wait....
I cleared my throat, suddenly self-conscious about the way I was acting. Was I flirting with Sean? We're just harmlessly joking around, right? Do I even know how to flirt?
Embarrassment flooded my cheeks as I replayed my giggle over and over again in my head. That was definitely flirty. Did I mean to be flirty? No, of course not. I was most definitely not flirting with Sean Parker.
"What are you thinking about?" Sean asked, breaking my obsessive thoughts.
"What?" I asked, unable to hide my defensive tone.
"You're biting your lip," Sean said, taking a sharp breath.
"Oh," I breathed, cursing my horrible nervous habit. His question frazzled me. I had to think of anything to say other than what I was really thinking. I glanced over at my surfboard and smirked.
"I was just thinking how I could demolish you in surfing," I teased, trying to remain more in control of my flirtatious tone, but unsure of how well I was doing. Sean raised an eyebrow and then burst into a fit of laughter.
Not the exact reaction I was expecting, however, I couldn't help but smile at his boyish laugh.
"Are you sure about that?" he challenged while rising to his feet. He retreated to a corner of the rock-cave where a few stray rocks and some leaves hung loose. He moved the camouflage aside to reveal a dark surfboard.
"You surf?" I couldn't hide my shock.
"Did surf," Sean corrected, propping his surfboard up next to mine and then returning to sit next to me.
I have never heard of this before. I thought most of Sean's whereabouts and hobbies were public knowledge. It seemed like everyone knew everything about this man and yet he doesn't fail to surprise me. Maybe he's not as transparent as I've always thought him to be.
"Did?" I asked.
"Yeah," he sighed heavily and kicked his legs out, leaning back against the cool sand and closing his eyes. "It's sort of...complicated."
I didn't know what came over me, but my heart began to thaw even more towards Sean. There was a heaviness from his words that made me feel like this mystery was much deeper than I could have thought. There was a reason to not surfing anymore and I desperately wanted to know what it was.
I laid my head back against the sand next to him and studied his facial expression. His features were soft and vulnerable; almost boyish. His eyes, though, were full of pain.
"Do you want to share?" I asked. My mind wandered back to the Boardwalk and how good John's simple touch felt. My fingers inched towards his hand, wondering if Sean's touch would be as satisfying, but the thought made me retreat. What was I thinking?
Sean took a deep sigh, keeping his eyes focused above us.
"Do you really want to know?" he asked.
"I'm sort of curious," I said, barely louder than a whisper.
Sean stretched out, adjusting his body more comfortably into the sand. His arm laid above my head, silently beckoning my head to lay upon it, but I stayed put. The thought of snuggling into Sean's arms made me nervous. No, it wasn't even a possibility. I would never snuggle into his arms, to begin with. No.
"When I was little, I was really into surfing. My mom said she thought I was born from a sea witch or something because of my irresistible rebelliousness and water obsession." he danced his eyebrows as he looked down at me for a laugh. I allowed a small smile to play across my lips while imagining little Sean trying to balance on a surfboard.
"Anyways, I was a natural at surfing. My mom ended up finding a coach when I was old enough to start surfing and I entered competitions when I was younger. I was doing great and even winning some money at some points, but then the accident happened," Sean's features turned dark as he relived this memory.
We both stayed quiet for a moment as he remained in deep thought. I felt like I should do something to show I was listening. To relax him and make him feel like he could talk about it. Whatever this accident was, it must have been really bad. I could only imagine getting torn away from surfing, and if he was as obsessed with surfing as he says, it must have been devastating.
My cheeks flushed at the thought, but before I could think about it too much, I reached my fingers out and rubbed Sean's arm gently. It was like a warm current of electricity through the veins of my finger, running rapidly down to my heart and making my breath catch.
Sean's lips curled into a smile, his eyes relaxed and his chest rose and fell with the steady nature of his breathing. My fingers caressed his skin, following the rhythm of his breath.
"I was going into high school. I was out with my coach late one night, later than I admitted to my mother, and the waves were growing intense. I remember standing with my coach on the shore, debating whether it was worth it to keep practicing. He told me it looked like we could get one last run in, so I went out.
The waves were breaking too quickly for me to dive under them properly, so one wave knocked me off my board. The strap around my ankle ripped off and I went tumbling into the deeper ocean. That's all I remember. Supposedly, we were closer to the rocky ridge than we thought and I hit a rock and it knocked me unconscious. All I remember is waking up in the hospital three days later. I was lucky to be alive."
I was speechless. I didn't know what to say or if I should even say anything. He's right; he was lucky to be alive. Rough waters were not something to mess with when surfing.
I thought of myself with my dad. That could easily be a conversation we would have. Luckily my dad would never misinform me about the waves. He was always super conscientious about the severity of the water.
"How long has it been since you've surfed?" I asked.
Sean thought about this for a moment. His body heat was beginning to radiating against my side, drawing my body closer to his.
"That's a difficult question to answer," he said. "Mostly because there's a right answer and then the truthful answer."
"I want to know the truth," I said.
Sean's eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. I would give anything to know what was going through his mind right now. Why was he telling me all this?
"Do you remember the day you walked in on me? In that one classroom in the office?" he asked.
Of course, I remember that mortifying encounter. I was beyond embarrassed and wished I could forget barging into a random room and catching Sean in the middle of something.
"Yes," I breathed.
"After the accident, my mom banned me from surfing. To be honest, I was kind of scared to go out again at first, but then after a while, I was ready. My mother wasn't and she did not want me out on the water. She even made me get rid of my surfboards. Well, she thought I got rid of them," Sean smirked and tossed onto his side, facing me directly and looking into my eyes. I felt like I was supposed to say something, but I was speechless. If I ever had an accident and had to get rid of all my equipment, that would be the end for me.
"My aunt used to work at the school. She's teaching abroad in Australia right now, but she said I could use her classroom as a hiding place for my board in case I wanted to take it out after school or something. That day, I was coating some wax on the tip of my board when you came in unannounced. I thought it was going to be someone else. Someone who might know my mother," Sean said. Suddenly, my embarrassment at that moment turned to despair. His eyes shown nothing but passion and pain as he discussed his hidden life. It was awful that he had to keep this passion hidden.
"And that's why you have a board in here, too," I said while mentally connecting the dots. My mind was blown. Who knew there were so many levels to Sean Parker.
"Yup," he smiled.
"Who knows about this secret life of yours?" I asked.
"My aunt and...you."
My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn't talk even if I wanted to. The surprise of Sean's confession was so unbelievable that it simply couldn't be real. Why me?
His eyes stayed glued to mine, analyzing my every move as I processed this information. He trusts me. If what he said is true — which it very well could be considering the whole school is obsessed with Sean Parker and his every move, but this is the first I've heard of him being a surfer — then what does this mean?
My eyes dropped and my fingers traced patterns on the sand between us. How could this be a thing? We were too different.
But were we? He loves to surf, he can be a sweet guy when he wants to be, he trusts me...but do I trust him?
And to think this entire dilemma arose from Amy.
Oh god, Amy. Yet another bullet point to add to the list of reasons Sean and I would never work out.
"Can I ask you something," I asked, again in hardly more than a whisper.
"Of course," He said.
"Why'd you bring me here?" my eyes perked up, looking expectantly at Sean, who seemed to find this question amusing.
"Isn't it obvious, Brooke?" he chuckled. "I like you."
His words rang through my ears time and time again, drowning out all other sensations. He liked me? Why? Was this just another one of his games?
"I want to show you that I'm invested in you. I want to prove to you that I'm not the guy you think I am. I know what you think of me and you have reason to think that, but I have many more layers than most people think," he said. It's like he read my mind. My heart and brain struggled to come to a compromise; battering each other until I could hardly even think anymore.
What did I even want? Did I like Sean? No, not possible. Was it?
"You can't just show up when you want to and expect me to be open to you changing. You haven't spoken to me or even looked at me since the night you drove me home," I said, surprising myself with how the sentences came out. Did I want that? Did I want him to change for me? This was all just too confusing.
"Let me take you on a proper date then," Sean said. My whole body heated up, causing my cheeks to flame red. The guy sure knew what to say to make a girl blush.
This was a bad idea. Like a really bad idea. How much fire can one girl play with until she gets burned?
"Okay," I said in full confidence. "One date."
If only I was as confident about the idea as I had sounded.
Sean's face lit up at my response, but there was one more thing I had to clarify.
"On one condition," I said, my face inching closer to his. His body heat was enticing as the conversation continued to heat up. He inhaled sharply before nodding.
"No one knows."