I'm pretty sure I'm dying.
Well not really but I'm beginning to feel like it, like pure and utter death.
We had just finished one of the biggest afternoon concerts we'd ever performed and were on the way back to the bus now. People were still screaming and shouting from all directions and the lads were still pumped but I just couldn't find it in myself to get into it.
I could feel my hair sticking to my forehead and as much as I hoped it was just from the heat on stage, I couldn't help but feel like it was more likely from fever. I felt like my stomach was trying to escape up my throat and my head was beginning to throb in one long and pounding continuous beat.
Unfortunately I didn't have the time to be falling ill right now.. We had concerts for the next week and all sorts of stuff in between, stuff that I couldn't afford to miss.
We all clambered onto the bus and I used the last of my strength to yank the door shut behind me, successfully block out the painful noise.
"That was amazing!" Niall exclaimed as he threw himself onto the couch. His eyes were lit up like Christmas lights and his smile stretched all the way across his face. He looked like a little kid on his birthday.
"Hell yeah!" Liam smirked happily, leaning on the counter-top.
They chattered for the next five minutes about the show and I really did try to join in but I felt lame and just completely miserable by this point. I was acting nothing like how I usually would and it was only a matter of time before someone ask-
"Harry, are you alright?" Louis question, gazing at me with a frown. This caused everyone else to look at me and I felt awkward under their stares.
"Sheesh, you're not looking so hot mate. . ."
Niall's eyes wide eyes made me chuckle despite how I was feeling, "thanks Ni, that makes me feel so much better."
"What's wrong?" Liam asked worriedly.
"It's just a stomachache, I probably ate something bad," I replied stubbornly, not wanting to even suggest that I was sick.
"Yeah, that's why you're as white as a sheet," Louis sassed. I just shrugged, I didn't have the energy to fight back.
A sudden swell of nausea swept through me and I gulped deeply, resting hand on my churning stomach. Then my lunch lurched up into my throat and I gagged into my hand, barely keeping it down.
"He's gonna blow!" Someone shouted and then it was just chaos, everything was happening so fast. Liam grabbed my arm and started rushing me to the bathroom, Niall followed shouting maniacally and Louis was trying to calm me down over Niall. I wasn't really focusing on anything apart from keeping my food inside me.
I was gently pushed into the miniature bathroom and seeing the toilet just made the vomit spew out of me projectile style. And holy fuck it hurt like you wouldn't believe. The first lot pretty much missed the bowl all together and I staggered closer so that I wouldn't make any more mess before dropping to my knees and gripping the porcelain so tightly my knuckles were as white as the toilet. I retched again and the half digested pizza hit the water with a sickening splash.
I sat there breathing heavily for a minute or so after I was done, still a little shocked. I made the mistake of looking in the toilet and I grunted, turning away quickly and flushing it away. Unfortunately I couldn't flush the smell away.
"You good now Hazza?" Louis asked and I just shook my head, the exhaustion weighing down on my shoulders. Something stirred inside me and then I was back to puking violently, the acid burning my throat something horrendous. I couldn't remember the last time I had thrown up like this, probably not since I was a kid.
Black dots danced in my vision and the room was spinning a little dizzily when I finally pulled away, struggling to get to my feet. Arms curled around me from every direction and before I knew it I was on my bunk, trying to stay awake. Liam came in and took my temperature just as I passed out, all I heard was 104-"
I woke up who knows how much later and immediately lent over the side over the bed, vomit spilling from my mouth like a faucet. Someone had put a bin there and I tiredly adjusted my aim as Niall came in, eyes wide.
"Aw Hazza," he muttered sympathetically as I continued puking my guts up. I don't even know how I was still going, I felt empty to the point where I was sure I was going to float away. He softly pulled my hair back into a bun as I got my shit together, evening out my breathing and trying to stop myself from shaking.
"I take it you feel just as bad as you look?" Niall sat down next to me, ducking slightly under the bunk above me. I tried to glare at him but I'm pretty sure it was just a slight twitch of my eyebrow.
"Your fever was really high before, you scared us, Harry." He looked at me nervously, wringing his hands together in his lap.
"Sorry, Ni." My voice was crackly and rough and I cleared my raw throat in an attempt to smooth it out.
"It's not your fault, but you really should've told us you felt unwell before the concert. Maybe then it wouldn't have gotten this bad."
"I thought I could handle it," I replied, feeling stupid now. I should've just said something earlier. Niall rolled his eyes playfully and smirked, "of course you did."
I smiled back a little.
"I'm going to go get the thermometer, is there anything else you need?"
Niall stood up and I leaped at the chance, "meds?"
He chuckled, "yeah sure, I'll be right back." He smiled and then left.
I tried to compose myself before he got back but no matter what I did I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. There was a crash from the other side of the bus and then a few shouts.
"What the hell Niall?"
"Sorry, I dropped a glass," he called back sheepishly. Moments later Liam came in with the thermometer, a glass of water and a sheet of pills.
"How are you feeling Mate?" He asked, holding out the sheet and the water. I took them and noticed the frown in his face when he saw the rapid trembling my hands were doing.
"Pretty crappy," I croaked and swallowed two of the pills. They settled a little uneasily and I winced, knowing they would be returning soon and not in a pleasant way.
"Yeah sorry, that was a stupid question."
He pulled a face and gestured for me to open my mouth before putting the thermometer in. It made me gag a little and Liam hurriedly yanked it back out, looking guilty. "Sorry, are you alright?"
I huffed playfully. "I would've gagged even if I wasn't- hadn't eaten something bad," I corrected myself, still not ready to admit it.
"I'm pretty sure you've got the stomach f-"
"Nope, just bad pizza, now take my temperature," I interrupted, opening my mouth. Liam sighed uncertainly and very gently placed the instrument under my tongue. I gagged again but put a up a tired finger to show that it was alright. After a minute of so it beeped and I took it out and read the digital numbers. "102.6" I read, "ugh, that's just fucking fantastic."
"Hey, it's a hell of a lot better than it was before," Liam assured me, "so do you want to come out and watch some TV or are you happy here on your own?"
"I'll come out."
I grunted as I got to my feet, swaying slightly. I really did feel like absolute crap. Hopefully the medication would kick in soon.
I muttered something incoherent, I didn't even know what I said and dragged myself after Liam exhaustedly.
"Hey sickie," Louis greeted and Niall waved from the kitchenette where he was till sweeping up glass as I entered.
"Hey," I replied as I lowered myself carefully onto the couch, leaning against Louis heavily.
"This thing really hit you hard huh, Haz?" Louis poked my shoulder affectionately as Liam sat down on the other side of me. I nodded a little and focused on the TV, where some game-show was playing. After about twenty minutes I started to feel what little was left in my stomach whirl around uncomfortable and I curled up into myself, letting out a high pitched whine before I could stop myself.
"What's up Harry?" Louis asked worriedly, laying a cool hand on my bare arm.
"Bin," I ground out quietly, not wanting to open my mouth in case more than words fell out.
"What?"
There was no time left. I pushed myself up off the couch, ignoring the harsh shaking in my legs and stumbled to the bathroom drunkenly,my hands clasped over my mouth. The second I got there I vomited up the pills violently, my stomach clenching harshly and forcibly under my hands as I heaved. I became aware of the hand resting on my sweaty back as it drew to an end and I glanced back briefly to see Louis crouched behind me. I hacked up some stomach acid and leaned back against the wall in exhaustion.
"Alright Hazza, we're gonna get you to bed before you pass out alright?" Louis ordered and I nodded once with a groan. He called out for help and for the second time that day I was put to bed by my best friends. How embarrassing.
My second my head hit the pillow I was out cold.
***
I woke up the next morning dry heaving. What a great start to the day.
"Harry?" Louis muttered tiredly, blinking slowly as Liam climbed down and patted my back softly. Niall didn't even wake up, the perks of being a heavy sleeper. I dry heaved for a good five minutes before my gut finally decided it had had enough and settled again, leaving me feeling like I hadn't slept all night.
"It's probably the last thing you feel like Harry, but you've got to eat something and have a glass of water." Liam sucked his lips in apologetically as I recuperated. I shook my head childishly and wiped the saliva off my chin."It's going to hurt more if you don't eat Haz," he warned and I gave in, too tired to put up a fight.
Liam nodded to himself, "you stay here and I'll make you some toast."
"No, I-I'm coming," I slurred and forced myself to get up.
"It's really alright, I don't mind l-"
"Shut up and help me," I cut him off and he slid an arm around my waist and we awkwardly made our way out to the couch where I plopped down. Liam went back for the bin before putting a couple of pieces of toaster in the toaster and filling up a tall glass of water. I took it from him and took an uncertain sip before putting it on the ground next to me.
"What time is it?" I asked, knowing that we have a meet and greet at eleven.
"Just past seven," Liam replied as the toast popped and he put a little butter on it before putting some in for himself and bringing it to me. I felt bad, him hurrying around after me. I nodded at his answer and stared at the food in my lap in disgust. I don't know if I was going to be able to get it down never mind keeping it there. Liam must've noticed my reluctance and urged me on, " I know you don't want it, but please just try and eat at least some of it. It might make you feel better."
I bit down on a piece and swallowed it before I gagged. I quickly forced the rest of the first piece down before I could feel it begin to disagree and decided that one piece was enough. I finished the water and laid back into the couch, switching the TV on unenthusiastically.
***
"Are you sure you're feeling better? You were throwing up most of yesterday and you weren't exactly that great this morning either," Liam frowned uncertainly.
It was half past ten and we were due at the meet and greet in five minutes. I had managed to keep the toast in my stomach for the past few hours but not without pain and a nasty taste at the back of my throat. I couldn't just not go to the meet and greet and let everyone down like that, it's just unprofessional and completely not me.
"You still look like shit," Louis added.
I cross my arms across my chest, "I'm fine."
"I don't believe you," Niall stated, looking determined.
"I promise I'm feeling completely okay," I tried to assure him. It was useless. When he got like this there was no stopping him, he was going to get his way and we all knew it.
"You're lying Hazza." He narrowed his eyes.
"I'm perfectly alr-" I paused to gulp down the toast, " alright, I'm not going to let anyone down."
Niall's face softened as he realised why I was being so stubborn and he fell silent for a second and then sighed. "Okay, we won't call you in. But you have to tell us if you start feeling really awful. I know you don't wanna let everyone down but it's not fair if you're out there feeling like shit. That's not on."
I smiled, surprised that he was actually allowing this. Nobody looked too happy with the decision but the bus still rolled to a stop a few minutes later despite the tension.
I took a few breaths to settle the constant nausea a bit and then stood up. I let the others go through the door before following, feeling more than a little hesitant.
I put one foot on the pavement and realised I was going to puke and there would be no holding it down this time. A sickening belch escaped my lips and I turned on my heel and dashed back to the bathroom, immediately throwing up that stupid piece of toast. All I knew was that I felt so sick and there was no way I was going to let back off the bus now. I'd ruined it.
The lads were waiting for me when I finished, all looking at me knowingly with almost identical smirk.
"Go ahead, say it Niall," I practically whimpered.
"I don't want to make you feel any worse. . .but I did tell you so."
He put an arm around me and I thankfully put some of my weight on him. Obviously it was a bit much because he instantly grunted and sagged underneath me. I barely noticed, "I'm just going to go to sleep here. . ." I muttered and then fell asleep on my feet.
The rest of the day passed in one disgusting blur. I was throwing up hourly and this stupid stomach was just not letting up even the slightest. It turned out Liam was right, it was the stomach flu and I threw up every I ate for the next three days. Let me tell you it was not in the slightest bit fun. The moment I kept some crackers down was a moment of celebration and thankfully things just went up from there. I was back on stage in no time.