"Just don't say anything to anyone and maybe this, whatever it is, never happened." He said simply, looking over at me with disdain and I felt my lips tighten into a straight line as I looked everywhere but his face. Whatever he could be referring to is not something that can be so easily ignored like this, especially by me. I stood up from the bed that he laid on and looked around his room, wondering why I was still here exactly when I could be in my own room, watching Netflix or something more entertaining than the activities I could do in here with him of all people. I bent down and grabbed my jeans, sliding them on and zipping them up, knowing that every move I made was being watched, much like a hawk watches their prey, and I was smug, knowing he couldn't keep his eyes off of me even if he tried, it was too late for him. He was addicted yet he tries to push me away, quit cold turkey with a flick of his wrist, but he wasn't like that at all. I knew him too well at this point. I looked up finally point had my shirt pulled onto my figure and met his eyes, seeing and not quite understanding all the emotions that showed through his baby blue eyes even though he tried blocking them with a stone cold stare, making my heart ache and my fingers twitch, wanting to take him and hold him close. There is no way he could ever love me though, he wasn't strong enough for that.
"Whatever Prescott. Just don't start any shit with Max later." I said, turning away from him and walking out of his room, slamming the door behind me, seeing no need to be near him any longer than I needed to be. Stepping into my room I felt all my stress just wash away. There were times with Nathan that I felt free, I felt like maybe I could actually have a healthy relationship with him and take over the world, but with someone like him it's physically impossible. He doesn't understand what a healthy one consists of and most likely never will. I don't blame him of course, none of it was his fault as he likes to say, I only blame him for believing the shit everyone said to him as he grew up and I wish everyday that maybe he'll finally realize how much I adore him, or how much I hate him. Either one would work for me seeing as I don't need him in my life. Doesn't mean I don't want him, but I could live without him, even if the need to touch him became too much to bear. My life would probably be easier if I had never started whatever this is with him. I only remember some bits of what happened to make this become a regular thing.
One moment we were beating the shit out of one another in between our rooms, he had said something about Max or Kate, maybe even Chloe, I'm not really sure, and I had just snapped, finally pissed off at him and the next thing I know I had kissed him, pushing him against the wall with all my strength and he fought me, he fought as much as he could and eventually started to kiss back, we both fought for dominance and I had given up after a bit, not in the mood to fight anymore at that point and beginning to question my actions and he won, pushing me back down on the ground and then proceeding to drag me, literally drag me into his room and saying if I'm going to start something, I better go through with it. So I did. And I did. And I did again. It's been going on for what feels like ages. It's never gentle either, it always started due to a fight or even a glare in the hallway that always ended up in either one of our beds, and we liked to switch it up, never liking to do the same thing every time, but a lot of people do that don't they? Maybe not the way we do, seeing as how we coined it ''Hatefucking' and I highly doubt a lot of people do that nowadays unless they're fucked up like the two of us. Which, when I think about it I know I'm a lot like Nathan, I just wish I wasn't, but I can't help who I am.
I felt my phone vibrate and looked down to see a text from Chloe. Confused, I opened it up, she never messaged me much before so this was a surprise.
' I no what ur doin w/ Prescock. '
' Ur a sick fuck Graham. Out of evry1, u had to choose Nathan? '
' Unless this is some sort of hatefuckin thing. '
' That I'd understand prob. '
I stared at the texts for who knows how long until I threw my phone onto my desk, refusing to answer it as my heart rate picked up and I could feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack about to hit me. I sat down against my bed and put my head in my hands, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry. No one was ever supposed to find out about me and him, how could she have found out? I thought I was being subtle about it, hell. Nathan's number isn't even saved on my phone, I just memorized it so no one would know who I was texting. I could hear my phone vibrating more as I whined and tried to cover my ears to block out the sound. For the first time in awhile I cried, burying my head in my crossed arms as I did so, curling into myself in fear and embarrassment. I heard a knock at my door and I ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just go away.
They didn't, in fact the door swung open and I jumped up, wiping at my face and ready to yell and whatever idiot had such a boner to come into my room and I quieted down when I saw it was Nathan who had his signature sneer set on his face as he looked me over. I glared back at him and felt my fists instinctively tighten.
"What the hell do you want?" I growled and Nathan looked at me for a moment before his face softened, surprising me but I held myself high, not wanting to do anything stupid.
"You left my room quicker than usual. . .What's wrong?"
"Why the fuck do you-- Actually, this involves you too! Get your ass in here and close my door." I snapped, making him jump a bit and he listened to me, closing the door of my room and when he tried to come up to me I scoffed and put my hands up to stop him. "First off; We're fuck buddies, you don't need to care what's wrong with me." Nathan seemed to cringe at that but I continued, "Tomorrow we'll be busting one another's teeth out anyways because of something stupid, because we're stupid fucks. Second; Chloe knows about us, we need to break this off, no one else needs to know what we've been doing and she doesn't need to know she was right about us." I explained and Nathan went through a series of emotions, they were showing clearly and I hoped dearly that my face didn't show how much I hated doing this to him, but we could never work out and he had to realize this. There was no way they could work out and that's just how the universe works.
"Chloe found out?" Nathan asked and I nodded, "How the fuck could she have found out?" I shrugged, glaring at the wall behind Nathan's head, watching as Nathan's face went red from either embarrassment or anger, "The bitch made you cry?" He asked but he didn't seem to be expecting an answer as the next thing I know he was storming out of my room, I raised an eyebrow in question as I ran after him.
"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled at him and he turned back to me, I tried to ignore the other boys in the hall who looked at us in confusion, wondering why Nathan Prescott was talking to the nerd, Warren and why they both came out of Warren's room red faced, one from crying and the other from anger.
"No one make my boyfriend cry!" Nathan yelled back and I froze, eyes wide as I looked around at the other boys who all stared at the two opposites in both confusion and horror. I had no idea what could have been going through their minds at this point and honestly I felt. . . .better, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I watched as Nathan stormed out of the dorms, I was a bit afraid as of what Nathan had planned for Chloe, and should probably follow to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I slowly walked through the boys who all moved out of my way, some looking at me with grins, others with disgust, I ran out of the building and ran after Nathan, grabbing him once I caught up and pulled him back to me.
"What that fuck was that?" I hissed and Nathan shook his head, still looking pissed off.
"I'm not going to accept this. There is no way we are JUST fuck buddies you nerd. We have something more." Nathan said, pulling his arm from my grip and I rolled my eyes.
"Nate. You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't--"
"I don't understand how a healthy relationship works? Is that what you're going to use on me, Graham? I know the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship you ass. I know this one isn't exactly the best but I want to work on it. I know that you and I could be something, I swear to it. We can be." He appeared to be pleading near the end as he became frantic, looking down at me with wide eyes, searching my face for any sign that I think different. When he saw it he deflated, "Please Warren? I want to try this. For real. All the guys in our dorm think we're dating now anyways. . . .we can try? Please?" I stared at Nathan, still not able to comprehend completely as of why he wanted to be with me of all people and why, if he wanted this to work, he constantly pissed me off on purpose and got me into those situations.
"There were different ways to ask me out Nathan. Beating the shit out of me isn't exactly I best." I snapped then grabbed his jacket, pulling him down into a kiss and he instantly wrapped his arms around me, embracing me. This was different than any of our other kisses, this one was more: gentle, less biting and fighting and I could actually feel the effort he was going into making this kiss seem harmless. When I pulled away I saw Nathan staring at me with a glossed over look, a small smile on his face as he stared and I smiled back, happy that I was able to make him feel that way.
"Just don't say anything to anyone and maybe this, whatever it is, never happened. . . But it's ours to keep forever as no one else will understand." He mumbled and I stared at him, sighing. "Warren Graham. Will you be my boyfriend?" He asked softly and I had to nod, there was nothing I could do now with him gripping onto me for dear life, as if I would blow away any second now in case of a strong gust of wind. Nathan wasn't exactly the most romantic, but he was mine now. And romance has never been that big a thing for me anyways.