"Morning, Kylo," Rey said happily, sliding into her seat next to him in biology the next day. Hux wasn't there yet, so Kylo had been sitting in his desk staring into space. It was easier than listening to the tedious conversations of airheaded teenagers around him. He was so absorbed in thinking about recent events, including Snoke's proposal that he didn't even notice her voice.
"Kylo," Rey repeated. He reached across the aisle and shook him gently by the shoulder. Her touch was electric, and Kylo whirled around, totally in shock that she had touched him. But not because he did not appreciate being touched. Her gentle hand reminded him of his mother's. He hadn't been touched by a female in a very, very long time and it unnerved him. When his eyes locked with hers, she looked confused. It was his reaction that had done it. He was sure of it. She looked startled.
Her eyes reminded of a deer he'd seen once when Han had taken him camping with Uncle Chewie in middle school. He had been alone in the woods because he'd wandered away from the trail when Han and Chewie were talking about something and had failed to notice that he'd gone off to explore. He'd stumbled into a clearing, and had alerted a deer drinking from a stream. It had been a doe, belly swollen and pregnant with at least one fawn, maybe even two. She had looked up, straight into his innocent eyes, not afraid but startled. Perhaps she had never seen a human before, but she did not run. Instead, she looked at him intently, stamping her foot angrily, and stood her ground. Her beautiful brown eyes had taken his breath away.
He realized that this was exactly the effect Rey's eyes had on him. They took his breath away. When the morning sun came in through the window, igniting the few red strands in her brunette hair, the effect was even more striking. He swallowed, struggling for something to say, even though he was sure she had said something to him first. "What?" he asked quickly, his voice cracking like a little kid's.
Rey smiled, unfazed by his momentary lapse in concentration. "Good morning," she repeated. "How was your night?"
He didn't smile, but his eyes lightened a bit. "Well. Yourself?"
"Good," she replied. "My foster parents keep the house really cold at night, so I was snuggling with my dog in an attempt to keep warm."
"You have a dog?" Kylo asked. He'd always wanted a dog, but Han wouldn't have it. "What kind? What's its name?"
"He's a dachshund named BB-8."
"BB-8? That's a weird name."
"Well," she explained, playing with her hair absentmindedly as she spoke, "when I was little, I had a dog named Bartholomew. Only I couldn't pronounce his name, so I just called him BB. Since then, as I moved to different foster homes, I managed to convince my family to get a dog if they didn't have one, and I always named them BB. This is the eighth one, so she's BB-8."
It seemed so sad to Kylo that she'd had eight dogs, one at each foster home. And that she'd had eight foster homes, if not more. She could never have real parents that way. Not in the sense that Kylo did, even though he had problems with his parents.
"Kylo," said a sharp voice. Somehow, Hux had entered the room without Kylo noticing and had taken his seat. "Stop talking to her. She's no one. I have things to tell you."
Shooting Rey an apologetic look, Kylo turned his attention to his best friend. "Snoke tells me you went to see him last night," Hux whispered as Rey looked on in a confused way.
Kylo nodded. "She doesn't know anything, Hux. That's what I was telling him."
Hux nodded approvingly. "You managed to sell any of your weed yet?"
Kylo shook his head. "I got a few deals coming up. People quit calling me for some reason."
"Or maybe you're just lazy," Hux growled. "Or maybe it's that girl. I saw how you were looking at her when you walked in. I've never seen you look at anyone like that in your entire life."
Kylo hardened. What was Hux implying? That Kylo liked Rey? It was preposterous. She was a year younger than him, very plain to look at, and a little annoying sometimes. But those eyes and that laugh and those clenched fists at his house last night...
Kylo resolved right then and there not to let her get under his skin again. It was making him weak. Weakness was something he could not afford, especially since Hux was his best friend and he had only really met Rey yesterday. It occurred to him then that he didn't know much about her and he resolved to learn more about her that evening. They still had plans to go to Walmart and get things for the project, but Kylo realized he needed to confirm this with her. Turning his back on a fuming Hux, Kylo cleared his throat. "Rey?" he asked.
She had been watching his whispered conversation with Hux interestedly, and a sly smile came to her face when he spoke her name. "Yes?" she asked in a slow, singsongy voice.
"We still on to go to Walmart and get a few things for the project tonight?"
"Like what?" Rey asked.
"Modeling clay and tape, mostly," he replied. "Clay to actually make the stupid mitochondria and tape to label the parts. We can go back to my place and build it. Maybe we can even get started on the paper if you want."
She crossed her arms. It was adorable, and Kylo almost smiled. He caught himself just in time. He hadn't smiled in a long, long time. Who was Rey to him, that she made him want to smile? It was yet another question on the list of questions bouncing around in his brain.
"Han just won't shut up about me. That's what it is," she laughed.
She was right, but that wasn't why Kylo wanted her to come over. In his room, they were safe from prying eyes that would judge them, and he could be himself, something he could never do at school. It had been refreshing, and he missed the feeling. It would be extremely welcome in such a harsh, cruel world of pain and hurt. So he sucked up his emotions and agreed. "Yeah," he said stiffly. "He keeps asking about you. He's ecstatic that I brought home a girl." Kylo could feel Hux's eyes on back, so he added, "As if I'd ever date the likes of you."
Pain clouded Rey's beautiful, doe's eyes. He had hurt her, and it instantly made him regret his words and wish he could take them back, but a small, mean smile had crossed Hux's face. Kylo had pleased his best friend, but why did he still feel like shit inside?
Angrily, like the doe that had stomped her foot defiantly near the stream, Rey opened her mouth. "Good. Because I'd never date the likes of you. Your nose is too big and your ears make you look like an African elephant. You also look like you weigh thirty pounds soaking wet, and there's no way that shade of black is your natural hair color. What's next? Painting your fingernails black? Really, I'd rather date my cousin than you."
Kylo glared. She had struck a nerve. He had always had self-esteem problems with his ears and nose. They were Han's, and they were ugly. The long hair helped cover his ears, but he could do nothing about his nose. Kids had teased him about it in middle school, and even freshman year of high school before his legs had caught up with the rest of his body.
But Rey wasn't done yet. By now the whole class had gone silent and was listening. One student was even videotaping their fight with her cell phone. "I hate you," Rey growled. "You always smell like cigarette smoke, and it makes me want to puke. And what's with wearing black all the time? Are you trying to rob someone's house at night? You think it makes you look dark and mysterious, but really it makes you look like a whiny brat who thinks everyone's out to get him. On top of this, you treat people like shit and you only have exactly one friend, who is just as bad as you are, if not worse. You disgust me, Kylo Ren, or should I say Ben Solo? That's what I'm calling you from now on because it's your real name. The other one is stupid. No one cares about you and your stupid nickname except for your little boyfriend, so no one should call you that. It's dumb."
Kylo glared back at her for several minutes.
"Nothing?" she asked rabidly. "You have nothing to say for yourself?"
He crossed his arms and slowly opened his mouth. "I'll pick you up after school in front of the cafeteria," he said stiffly. Then, just as the teacher was walking in, Kylo picked up his black backpack and walked out. He just wasn't feeling school today.
Han was out at work, so Kylo went home. He pulled his car into the garage and retreated to his room, where he hastily lit up a cigarette. He smoked it thoughtfully, sitting on his bed. After a while, he reached onto his bedside table and grabbed Julius Caesar from its place. He began to read, losing his pain in the pain of fictional characters.
He read until he finished the play, and then had more than an hour until he had to go pick up Rey, who was probably going to be livid with him.
He thought of her, her angry, brown eyes and her freckles, and suddenly, he was aroused. Her anger excited him. He couldn't explain it other than the fact that strong women attracted him. She didn't back down from a fight, unlike himself. She was twice the person he was, if what he knew about her was correct. He wanted to see more of her anger, to see those brown, gentle eyes flash with a fire he had never experienced from a woman before in his life. He groaned. Freaking hormones. His father would laugh if he knew what Kylo was going through. From the stories Han told, Rey shared many attributes similar to his mother. It seemed that after all he had done to avoid this situation, he had become like his father after all.
Rolling over anxiously, Kylo tried to calm himself down, but it didn't work. Instead, he lit up another cigarette and pulled The Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe from his bookshelf. He opened it to "The Pit and the Pendulum" and began to read. Nothing like torture and doom to take his mind off the girl.
However, he kept a watchful eye on the clock, and when it came time for his school to get out, he drove back to the school. She stood out in front of the cafeteria, arms crossed defiantly. Her brown eyes were still furious. She stood next to a tall boy with darkly tanned skin and dark hair. He was quite handsome, and as Kylo watched, he said something to Rey. She giggled, and he leaned down, pressing a kiss on her lips.
Rage flared up in Kylo and he had the sudden urge to choke the life out of this tall, dark kid, whose name he thought might have been Poe. His fists clutched the steering wheel so tightly the knuckles turned white, and he imagined they were around Poe's throat, squeezing the life from him. He wanted to watch the life drain from Poe's eyes. To feel his last breath crackle from a crushed windpipe. But Rey looked happy, and that observation stopped him in his tracks.
If Poe made her happy, who was he to take that away from her? Instead, Kylo decided that as soon as Poe ever hurt her in any way, emotionally or physically, he would act out his desires and take the bastard's life. He knew they were dark thoughts, but it seemed darkness was all he had left in his pitiful life without love. The only one who seemed to care for him was Snoke.
It was then that Kylo made up his mind. He would accept Snoke's offer. What did he have to lose? If the darkness was going to be with him for the rest of his life, he might as well learn to use it. He could be a rich man, like Snoke, and he could have any girl he wanted. Best of all, he could have someone else kill Poe. His hands would not be dirty. He would be free.
She noticed him then, staring at her from his car window. She shot Poe a look of fear, and then kissed him once more. Her eyes closed in happiness, and this kiss was slower than the previous one. She was torturing Kylo on purpose. He knew it. Her triumphant grin as she slid into the passenger side of his car was proof enough.
"Didn't know you had a boyfriend," Kylo said gruffly.
She looked him straight in the eye. "I can't understand how that's any of your business. Poe is nice, and he actually cares about me, unlike you."
"Screw Poe. That's a dumb name anyway," Kylo growled, pulling out of the parking lot, heading towards the street behind the school.
"Are you jealous, Ben?" Rey asked, goading him with a singsongy voice.
He let her get by with calling him the wrong name, but it grated on his ears like nails on a chalkboard. He didn't answer, and they were quiet all the way to Walmart.
Rey didn't like his silence. It bothered her. She knew he was the quiet, brooding type, but now he looked positively furious. She had honestly been kidding when she asked him if he was jealous. She had never considered that he might be. Despite all his anger and rage and ugly comments, could he, in some weird way, like her? She dismissed the idea easily. Even if he liked her, she knew she didn't want to be in a relationship with him. It would likely be possessive and possibly abusive. Poe was a much better person, and just being around him made her stomach turn into a million butterflies.
However, when she was with Kylo, she felt something else entirely. She had mistaken it for dislike, but when she searched deeply within herself, it was something more. It was an angry desire. He didn't give her butterflies in her tummy, but he did elicit something much darker from her. It was need.
Need to know him as more than just the dark, mysterious guy who was a year older than her and had a very rude friend. Need to know him as Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, a persona she hated. And they were two completely different people entirely. Ben Solo was quiet, but he loved to read and smile occasionally, and make jokes about playing with modeling clay. Ben was shy, and didn't like to show very often. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, was impulsive, rude, and reckless. She had seen him drive his car before, peeling out of the parking lot in a cloud of black smoke, Hux laughing beside him as Kylo lit a cigarette. Ben Solo would never have done that. Kylo Ren would. Her need to know the Ben Solo part of him overpowered everything else. She could feel it in the air. It was electrifying, as though he sensed her need as well and had just a bit of need himself. Her heart rate quickened, and she licked her lips nervously as he drove.
They pulled into the parking lot, and Rey was the first out of the car. Kylo took his time pulling himself from the interior and making sure he had his keys and wallet. Rey tapped her feet impatiently, breathing in the fresh, need-free air of the outdoors as he shut his car door and walked around. "Ready?" he asked with quiet intensity, as though he were putting on a brave face for some reason.
She nodded. "Yeah."
They entered the store together, and she followed him back to the craft section. "What kind of clay?" he asked. "Ooh, let's get blue," he suggested, all traces of anger disappearing.
"Blue?" she asked, smiling in spite of herself. "Mitochondria are red, Ben."
He didn't seem to notice that she had called him Ben, but he smiled back. He was enjoying the beautiful spark in her doe's eyes. "How do you know? You can't see mitochondria with a light microscope. Only an electron one, and those pictures are always black and white."
She shrugged. "You have a point."
"Plus it'll set us apart from all the other projects. Mr. Yoda will notice ours because it's different. Only one project gets a perfect score, Rey. The rest go downhill from there."
Rey nodded. He was right. Everyone hated Mr. Yoda's method of grading. It was based on a placing system so that the best project would get the most points and the worst project would get the least. It wouldn't hurt to be different. "Fine," she agreed grudgingly, picking up a package of blue clay. "Blue it is."
He smiled again and walked to the section where the tape was. Rey followed hot on his heels. He was tall, taller than Poe, and so she struggled to keep up. "Ben slow down," she panted.
He stopped and turned around. Then a wild eye struck his mind like lightning. He squatted down. "Get on my back," he ordered.
"What?" she was dumbstruck.
"Get. On. My. Back. Did I stutter? I'm giving you a piggy back ride."
Sighing in annoyance, Rey climbed onto his back, even though everything in her screamed not to humor him. If she could see Ben Solo for just a little longer, she would take that chance. As he hoisted her onto his back, she was surprised at just how strong he was. His back muscles were large and firm, and his arms were strong as well. He carried her with ease, and she recognized now that he wasn't as skinny as everyone thought. Kylo Ren was shredded. His thin, wiry build was an illusion caused by the dark clothing he wore.
When they reached the tape aisle, he set her down and they chose some scotch tape and multicolored labels to label parts of their mitochondria. After checking out, Kylo seemed to be in good spirits. A smile was hiding around the corners of his mouth all the way back to his house, and Rey couldn't help but stare, befuddled by the transformation he had gone through in the space of just an hour. He seemed happy now, not sad and angry. The knowledge that it was her presence that had caused the change did nothing to soothe the nervousness gathering in the pit of her stomach. Did he like her? If so, why had he been so ugly to her earlier? It made no sense.
In any case, when they pulled up outside his house, Han's truck, an old, beat-up Ford he called "The Falcon" sat in the driveway. Kylo groaned internally. Han was home early, and Kylo had planned to have Rey home before his father even got there. Han's doting over Rey annoyed him. It was a bit odd, and it unnerved him. He could only imagine the effect it had on her. She probably thought he and his father were the strangest people on the planet. As they walked in the door, Han was sitting on the couch watching TV. "Ben!" he said happily. "You brought Rey again. Perfect! I'm barbecuing ribs tonight. Would you like to stay for dinner, Rey?"
Rey blushed. "That's very kind of you, Mr. Solo-."
"Haven't I already told you to call me Han?" he asked, rising from his place on the couch. "Make yourself at home, kid. I'm just happy to see Kylo with someone other than that kid Huxley."
Kylo groaned. "Dad-."
"Quiet," Han insisted. "She's staying for dinner, and that's final. If you have any objections, you're grounded, young man."
"Dad!" Kylo protested.
"No," Han replied. "Don't 'dad' me. What I say goes." He winked at Rey.
She blushed again and smiled a bit, though she could feel her cheeks burning. "I'd be delighted to stay for dinner, Han. My foster parents both work late. I would probably be eating by myself otherwise."
"All right then," Han said gleefully. "I'll get them started while you kids work on your project."
Kylo rolled his eyes. This was hell. It had to be.