Chapter Two
When I woke up I was all alone in the bathroom on the tiled floor. I reached for my phone in my pocket and checked the time. It was 11: 58, I'd been in this restroom for almost six hours. Why hadn't any one taken me to the nurse?I could've been dead. Then I remember almost everyone in this pack wants me dead, though with the enhanced hearing must have alerted them I wasn't dead. As for the humans in this school, well that was just plain mean of them. They had no reason to hate me. But what should I expect? I'm a freak.
I stood up and dust off my pants. "Well Hazel, looks like you're a bigger loser than you thought." I say to myself. I wait until the bell rings to exit the bathroom. I brush my hair and fix my shirt before I head off to lunch. At least I didn't miss that. I haven't eaten since 10 o'clock at night and I was starving. In the lunch room all eyes are on me, but I've learned that if you clear your head you can fool anyone that you don't care.
I get my food and sit at the table with some friends of mine. They all seemed to keep their distance, and it was rather awkward.
"So, Hazel, how was your nap?" Yami asks casually.
"You knew I was in there and you didn't wake me up. You didn't send me to the nurse either." My voice is even, I'm not asking, I'm accusing. I stare at the table as if the answer to my problem lies in the puke colored surface.
"I told them we should've at least moved you! But you looked so cute, plus you're very heavy." Trina says.
I take out an apple and bite into the skin. Why do I consider these people my friends?
"Hey Vivian," Rena says, as Vivian and her entourage walk by. I pull my pink hoodie over my eyes. I refuse to look at my twin, not the one who wears my face so much better than I, who acts so normal, who can full the world with her killer smile. The person who's bonded to me by blood yet betrays me every single day. If I have the same face as her, how come I can't fool the world too?
I take in a deep breath; why not give it a shot?
I pull my hoddie off and I'm in a pink tank top, I pull it down low to show some cleavage.
Rena raises her eyebrow at me. "When did you get boobs?"
I shrug my shoulders and pull my ponytail holder off. Then I do something I never thought I'd do; I put on dark red lipstick I took from Rena's purse and I walked straight up to Alpha Michaels' son. He was hitting on a pretty African-American cheerleader named Miranda with long hair; but it was way longer than it was last week so it was more than likely fake.
"Hey Ryan, what's up?" I say, taking a seat next to him and leaning my elbows up on the table. This is how cool people do it, right?
He looks me up and down raising his eyebrows. "Hey Hazel. Nothing much, The Group and I are going to meet up at Carl's. As always, no humans allowed."
I realize that by "No humans allowed" he means I'm not invited. I learned pretty quick growing up that I was considered a human. The fact that I had yet to change (or transform as some people called it. Shift works too) didn't help my case. Most people doubted that I was in fact an actual werewolf. I was slower than the average slow wolf, uncoordinated, I had slow reflexes, and I didn't always trust my instincts.
"Ooh, that sounds so cool." I say, following my sisters' footsteps and flashing a million dollar smile. "So are pretty girls invited?" I bat my eyelashes, but by the look he gives me I don't think it's' working.
"Yeah, pretty girls are invited, you know, like your sister." I realize then that I'm fighting a losing a battle.
I roll my eyes, and twist locks of my curly hair the way pretty girls do in Disney movies. "Yeah, whatever. So am I invited or what?" I say, adding a twinge of a British accent for good luck.
"Well, can you hang?Or are you going to lose it in public too?" He's challenging me. "You do know if you go you can't bring your babysitter."
By "Babysitter" he means Cody. "Oh him? Nah, I'll tell the chess club nerds they suck, that out of give him extra practicing hours. But if I can't bring him you can't make out with any cheerleaders."
He smirks at me, "Fine, I'll just make out with your sister next time."
I'm confused what he's talking about for a second. Then I realize he's saying he'll make out with my sister next time because she's a cheerleader.
I laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world and smack his shoulder playfully, "I'm sure you will."
I sashay away, like Vivian does all the time. Everyone's eyes seem to watch me as I make my way back to a very stunned table. But the only eyes that matter are Ryan's, which never leave me the rest of lunch.
Vivian was right, pretending is fun.
I keep the act up the rest of the day; I even hold a conversation with Vivian instead of avoiding her. I sashay my hips when I walk and glare at any girl who calls me fake. It's rather fun, but I hate myself for it.
After school Vivian and I head up to Carl's and she continuously complements me on the "New Me" and I almost want to drop the act. What's the point anyway?
I get a text from Cody telling me he had extra Chess practice just like I planned, but I can't help but feel guilty. Rena calls me on her cell.
"You sure you want to do this?What if you lose it?" She asks. "They could send you to live with your grandmother in North Dakota!"
"Well it's worth a shot," I say, and I pull over at Carl's pizza place. Ryan is right behind me; he wraps his arm around my waist.
"Nice jeans, are they Vivian's'?" He whispers in my ear.
Vivian had allowed me to borrow her jeans (she has a whole wardrobe in her locker) since according to her I looked like a sashaying fool earlier.
I almost melt into his arms when he whispers to me. But then I realize how many lips have been on his and can't help but wonder if he scrubs them hard enough.
"Yeah," I flirt, "You like?"
"Nah, I liked the mom jeans better." He teases.
"They were not mom jeans!" I protest, but keep the flirty edge to my tone.
"How about we argue about it over pizza?I'm starving!" Luke- Ryan's best friend interrupted.
I silently thank god for Luke's obnoxious-ness, I still couldn't believe I was doing this.
"After you," Ryan says, as he opens the door for Vivian and me.
I smiled, but it was forced. The images were slowly flashing through my brain and the werewolves were back. They were attacking her again, and the Werewolf phobia was hitting me with full force. My eyes were wide in panic as I pushed the images back down into their black hole.
Vivian pulled me to the side, "Please tell me you're not about to lose it now, are you?"
I shrugged her off, pushing the bile in my stomach down and taking a seat next to Rena.
"Hey, Hazel Cakes, how about you sit by me?"
My cheeks reddened at the nick name Ryan used to call me when we were little. I sat up, smiling at him. "Hmm, what's in it for me?"
"You get to sit by the future alpha. Isn't that your long life dream?" He teases, and his best friend gives him a low five. I've got the eyes of the entire pizza place on me. (The only people in it where some popular kids from our pack.) I was the only non-cool kid there, even Rena was considered cool.
"True," I say, "But there's no way I could leave my best friend here all alone. How about your friend Luke keep her company?"
Rena has a big crush on Luke, and I had a superstition the feeling was mutual.
"That's cool with me," Ryan says.
Rena shoots me a glare and I mouth the words 'Have Fun'. Luke and I do a switch off and I find myself sitting across from Ryan.
We eat pizza, dance, and talk, but I like the talking part most. Even though I'd never fall for a guy like Ryan it's fun pretending and leading him on. I honestly couldn't believe he was still hitting on girls when his eighteenth birthday was on Saturday. I felt bad for whoever his mate would be. Not that I was a fan of the whole 'Mate' thing. I wanted to find mine eventually, but I also wanted to travel the world, and go to college, and pursue my dreams as an artist. Maybe my mate will be a French billionaire or an artist too. Maybe he's been searching the world for me, and he'll be so happy when I land on his door step.
"So, who do you think your mate will be?" he asks, startling me from my thoughts.
"Um, I don't know. My mom seems to think I was destined to be a single."
"A single?But those are so rare, and they're almost never happy."
I grimace, that's my mom for you. "I know. What about you?"
"The whole pack thinks it's your sister, but I'm not so sure. Sure she'll be a great Luna. She's the strongest female in the pack, she's pretty, she's unique, and she's probably my best option to run a successful pack."
"That's true," I admit. "Vivian would make a great Luna, she's caring, and she can fight. It's been her lifelong dream to be Luna of a pack."
He smiles, and takes a sip of coke. "You got your bets on her too?"
"Well, yeah. Who else could it be?"
He nods in the direction of Lindsay, and I have to admit he does have a point.
"Yeah, but my sister is still the better choice."
"Maybe, but I don't need a strong mate. As long as she's nurturing and can cook I'm perfectly fine." He jokes, but I think he's serious. I giggle, because I realize he's flirting with me. I'm nurturing and I happen to be an awesome cook. It's not a skill I brag about, I don't even like cooking! I'm just a natural at it. Cooking and drawing come to me like breathing.
"To be honest I'm not so sure I want Vivian for a mate. She's amazing- don't get me wrong, but she's too much like my mom. They're both strong, great fighters, very beautiful, but they always do what they're told. I want a mate that'll bend the rules, I guess so I can dominate her or whatever. It's an alpha thing. We love to tame our mates, or at least I do."
I nod my head like I understand, but I don't. I'm trying so hard to clear my head like Vivian but the images of the white wolf's claws tearing into my sisters' skin play over and over in my head. The wolf had the same strength of an Alpha male.
"Remember when we were little pups?" He asks.
I nod like I know what he's talking about when all I can think about is him tearing his claws through my skin, it's so close I can almost see it. I try not to go into self-defense mode. I will my body to for once be normal. If I 'Lost It' in public, and had a 'Freak Out' on the alpha of our pack my family and I would be lucky to just get kicked out the pack.
"You were always getting us in trouble!"
"Hey, I was not!" I protest, trying a laugh to release my stress.
"Yes you were! You set the pack house on fire! We got in so much trouble, and we were grounded for an entire month!"
This time my body relaxes as I relive the incident, laughing along with him.
"Hey, it wasn't the whole pack house! Just the dining room! And I wouldn't have caused the fire if you hadn't showed me the pack of matches!"
"Hey- that wasn't my fault! I asked you to be my girlfriend and you said no! What was I supposed to do, give up?"
I snorted, dropping my Vivian act and just being myself.
"You weren't supposed to give me fire!" I scream, throwing my hands in the air as Ryan continued to shake his head laughing. His hazel dark green eyes sparkled.
"Well you didn't seem like the girls that like flowers, what else was I supposed to do?" He asks, staring directly into my eyes, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. Did he think I was going to make out with him later on? I don't want to lead him on too much.
"Not give me fire that's for sure. I lost it big time and almost killed everyone!" I hiss, not wanting anyone to hear that part. We could laugh at it now, but during the time it wasn't so funny.
"Yeah but in the end it was worth it. We got a new and improved dining room. The other one was like a hundred years old. And we had a secret marriage under that old oak tree in the front of the pack house. You were my first kiss you know." He's smiling at me, and I realize it's different from the way he smiles at other girls. I meant something to Ryan, I was his first kiss. No matter what he does, who becomes his mate, what girl he sleeps with, I'll always be the first. I was the first one to taste the lips of Alpha-to-be Ryan Greensworth.
"You were my first too, in fact my only kiss. This may sound totally lame, but I still have the ring." I say, and I take it out of my pocket. "I usually have it on my ring finger but I took it off before we got here. I'm lame enough as it is. I don't wear it because I'm holding on to the day you fake married me, I wear it because it means something. It's become my lucky charm."
He takes the ring from my hand, "I still have mine too." He says, he twists the ring on his finger to the front and I see the inscription on the front. 'Mine'.
"Why would you have it?" I gasp, not really believing my eyes.
"I always saw you wearing it, and at first I thought you were like the others. Desperate enough to have something to show that they once had Ryan Greensworth, it wasn't until I turned 16 that I realized that wasn't the case. It's just your favorite ring; it reminds you of your childhood. Those rings we stole that day at my aunts Mating Service from that box reminds me of when I was younger and reckless and could do whatever I wanted. But now that I'm going to be 18 soon I realize just how much I'm going to miss it."
Everyone in Carls' has been holding on to every word we said. I take a sip of the Sprite my waitress has just sat in front of me. She gives Ryan a polite nod and slowly backs away.
I reached back for it, but he takes my hand and slides the ring onto my finger.
"It'd be best to burn it on Sunday, but I fear my mate might get jealous of the connection we have if I find her at my eighteenth birthday party. If it's your sister she might rip your head off," He shudders. And I know he's not joking.
A laugh erupts in Carl's. They think it's funny, I note.
"But we don't have a connection. We just had a secret fake marriage under an oak tree with no one but my mom and your mom and our teddy bears."
His eyes flicker to outside, "I bit your neck that night." He says.
"Yes, but it meant nothing, it didn't even leave a scar!" I refrain from banging my fist on the table.
"I still marked you as mine. I shouldn't have- but I did. We're married, the Mate rings clarified that. My mom explained the process to me years ago, and that's when I knew we'd made a big mistake. We have to get a divorce," he runs his hands through his hair.
"You're kidding."
He burst into laughter. Carl's had been awfully quiet while he was speaking, but now everyone was laughing.
"Of course! Why would my mom let us get legally married?I didn't even bite you! I just sucked your neck, you freak!"
He's still laughing, but I don't see what's so funny.
"Ah, ha! She thought she was married to you! Did you see her face?" Luke teased, punching Ryan in the arm.
"What can I say?Everyone wants to be my mate. I can't help that I'm sexy." He smirks at me. "Look here Hazel Cakes, you're not my mate, and don't think that just because you wear that silly ring around your finger that we're somehow attached. You're just a girl with some serious issues. Which is why my mom is going to get you help; it doesn't mean you and I are any way different than yesterday. You're still a psycho, but you're a member of my pack and I respect that. Don't take my respect for kindness. I need a strong mate. Not some girl who doodles and freaks out on people in her free time. So stop trying to be cool, you're just a freak."
Hazel was back, and she was mad. I stood up and put my hair back in a ponytail as I spat words at him. "You might be my future alpha, but you're also an arrogant, stupid jerk!" Once my hair was in a side pony tail I let the images hit me. I pressed release. I saw the pictures of Ryan ripping me to shreds and I let them come. They gave enough strength to pour ice cold sprite on top of his head and scream "Monster!"
Rena grabbed my hand as I fought her off. I got one good slap at his face before she was dragging me out the door. If I was going to be a called a psycho even when I was trying so hard to be normal then why act normal? Why not just be sent to the loony bin? Carl's pizza place was a mess, people were trying to hold back Ryan and others where trying to come after me. Ryan was able to get one good scratch at my arm before he was restrained again.
Rena threw me in her car, taking my keys out of my purse and giving it to Vivian.
"Go get Cody; he's the only one that can calm her when she's like this!" She told Rena.
"I know, I know. I already called him; he's going to meet us at my house."
Vivian got into my car, and Rena fastened me into her car.
I was usually fighting, and screaming my head off. But today I simply let her buckle me in. I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I knew I was in for it when I got home. We we're getting kicked out the pack and it would all be my fault. But I could care less at this moment; I was too busy remembering how good it felt to slap Ryan Greensworth. It was even better than kissing him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl who's ever lived to say the words 'I slapped an Alpha.' It felt good to say them too; I wanted to scream it to the world. I was on cloud nine as I relived the way his face felt against my hand, the sound it made, the way his eyes were black as he attacked everyone to get to me. The scratch marks were bleeding, and they were sore. But none of that mattered; I had taught that jerk a lesson was the important thing.
"You're crazy! They're going to lock you up! They're going to send your family far away, you'll be a rogue! Don't you get this, Hazel?" Rena was in tears, and she smoothed my head down.
She thought I was asleep, I realized. I was only half asleep.
She was crying at the wheel again. She pulled out her phone and called what turned out to be my mom. She explained everything and my mom almost had a heart attack.
My moms' sobs made me realize just how much trouble I'd gotten the family in.
I'm dead.
I'm so dead