March 20th, 2014
Onika-
"Onika get your ass down here!"
I was shaking I knew she was drunk.
I could hear her heavy foot steps stumbling up the steps.
I slid out of my bed. I crawled to the door and locked it quietly.
She was going to hurt me again.
Like she always did.
I went and grabbed my favorite bear Freddy and hid under my bed.
Freddy was always there for me when this happened he was my like my best friend.
I could see the shadow of her body outside of the door.
She raddled my doorknob.
"Open this fucking door bitch!" She had so much venom in her slurred speech.
She banged on the door, kicking and ramming into it.
I closed my eyes tightly.
Tears falling down my small bruised cheeks.
I know she hates me.
She then rammed into it again.
This time breaking the door right off its hinges.
I balled up under my bed with my teddy bear trying to hold my breath.
"Where the fuck you at little bitch." She whispered out.
I put my small hand over my mouth.
Tears still silently falling out of my eyes.
She tore through my covers laying on my bed.
Then she went to my closet throwing all of my clothes out looking for me.
That's when I grew nervous when I saw her feet turn back towards me.
She stood there for a minute before I seen her feet slowly advancing towards the bed.
That's when I seen her drop down to her knees.
I closed my eyes tightly together wishing she would just go away.
"There you are." She reached under grabbing me by my wild hair.
I stayed quiet because I knew the beating would be worst if I screamed.
Her grip on my hair was tight and it hurt so bad.
Once I was off from under the bed she stood over me with her evil smirk.
"You thought you could get away from me you little whore huh?" She kicked me in my stomach.
I heaved trying to gain back my breath.
"You like hiding from me Onika huh?" She kicked me again.
The pain was excruciating.
Tears streamed down my face but I dare not say a word.
"Get your ass up. Since you wanna lock doors bitch." She spit on me pulling me up by my hair.
I gripped my fist tight trying to make pain somewhere else so I could forget about what she was doing to me.
She threw me on my bed.
"Stay here and don't you fucking move." I just balled up on my bed as she walked out.
She was going to get the spoon.
I hated the spoon it hurt so bad.
I hear her running back up the stairs.
I began to whimper.
She had the giant wooden spoon in her.
The face that was suppose to show me love and care was the root of all my mental and physical pains
"Take off your panties Onika." I unballed myself and stood up shaking I had to obey or she would beat me worst.
"Now take off your night gown." I shakily grabbed the ends of my night gown and slowly pulling it above my head.
I dropped it to the floor standing there nude to her evil eyes.
Everything visible the scratches and bruises scattered all over my body.
Bite marks placed against my flat chest.
I stood still as she advanced towards me.
She pushed me against the bed.
I cried tears streaming out my eyes.
She creased my already swollen face.
"You deserve this." She pushed the handle of the spoon inside me.
I yelped and kicked and screamed but it did no use.
She smacked and punched me as she shoved it in me.
"Mommy stop!" My small ten year old voice barley able to scream.
"Please." I begged her tears streaming out of my eyes.
I laid here getting brutally beaten and rapped by my own mother.
"Please wake me up!" I scream. But it was like nobody could hear me.
I whimpered as she shoved it in deeper.
"Shut the fuck up."
Then I heard a voice.
"Onika." Someone was shaking me.
"Onika wake up." The shaking became rapid.
That's what I did.
I popped up I was in class.
I had tears falling down my cheeks everyone's eyes staring at me.
Dr. Knowles stood beside me with concerned eyes.
I had to get out of here.
I stood up while everybody watched me.
I wiped the tears from my cheeks roughly.
I grabbed my bag. "Excuse me." I croak trying to walk out of class.
Dr. Knowles grabbed my arm.
"Where do you think you're going Onika." I just looked away from her I couldn't make eye contact I didn't want to talk about my dreams.
I hated talking about that part of my life.
I bit my bottom lip.
I was a battered human being.
When Dr. Knowles said I was bitter she was absolutely right. I was bitter because I was ripped of my innocence by somebody who was suppose to protect and love me.
I hated everybody because nobody had saved me sooner.
I went through years of torment. Years of getting beaten. Years of getting molested. Years of living a life of pure hell.
Years of no love.
Tears slid down my face again.
I didn't want Dr. Knowles to see me crying.
I bit down on my lip.
I had my face turned towards the door.
All my classmates watching the encounter.
Even though we had been friends since we were in diapers. Lo and Rih knew nothing about what happened to me back then. Sometimes they would ask where I had gotten the bruises from but I'd lie and say I was playing football or I fail down the steps or something like that.
It wasn't until we had gotten older that they actually started to suspect something was going on but I would always deny their true accusations.
I'm pretty sure deep down they knew I was lying but they had no proof about what happened to me. So they were left clueless.
Nobody knew but me and my savior.
Nobody knew what a evil person my mother really was.
Everybody thinks I'm like this because I want to be.
No, this is all I know.
I don't know how to show love to anybody because I was never showed love by anybody.
I had to look out for myself before I looked out for anybody else.
"Umh class I'm letting you out early." I still didn't look at Dr. K as she spoke.
I heard everybody cheer.
They all gathered their stuff.
Rih and Lo came over to us.
But I ain't speak to them.
I held my head down because they were staring at me.
I didn't want anybody to see me like this because then they'd ask what's wrong.
"Uh bye Nic" they say as they walk out the classroom closing the door behind them.
It was just me and Dr. K now.
She dragged me over to her desk sitting me down in the chair.
"Onika tell me what's wrong."
I shook my head no.
I refused to speak about that.
"Onika I know it's something." She held my hand in hers creasing it.
I wanted to cry.
She was asking about something too personal.
"No Dr. Knowles can you just drop it and leave me the fuck alone." I say getting up snatching my hand from her.
"Onika stop and talk to me. I'm trying to be here for you." I felt tears stream down cheeks.
I gripped my eyes tight together.
"Stop! Stop acting like you fucking give a fuck about me because you don't.... You don't care about me. You're just like all the other fucking teachers." I spat at her.
I had my fist gripped tight.
I needed a drink.
I needed to get drunk I needed to forget.
"Onika I do care about you." Dr. Knowles said.
I chuckled and shook my head no.
"You don't I'm just a fucking student to you. You're only doing a fucking duty. No adult gives a fuck about me I promise you that." I say before I pick my stuff.
I was about to walk out until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind.
I stopped in my tracks.
I felt a head in the crook of my neck.
"Onika I'm not just performing a duty for you. I really do care about you. As much as you get on my nerves it actually made me have a soft spot for you."
Something about her saying that gave me butterflies.
She gripped me tightly.
"You can tell me what happened Onika. You can tell me what's making you hurt. You can't keep it buried inside you forever." She had her head placed against my shoulder now.
My back was pressed into her chest and her arms were wrapped around me over my own.
"I can and I will." Is all I say before trying to get out of her embrace.
"No Onika let me be there for you." She gripped me tighter.
I just fell into her chest.
I took in her genuine embrace.
I hadn't been hugged like this ever.
Not even My bitches hugged me like this.
She swayed me from side to side.
Her head placed against my shoulder.
Something was making me want to tell Dr. K about what happened but I was scared.
I was too scared to open up my fucking mouth and speak just like back then.
Her holding me like this made me feel so safe and kept.
"You know Onika. I was hurt along time ago too but I told someone about it. It made me feel so much better." I froze up.
Who had hurt Dr. K?
"W-what happened?" I asked.
I was nervous.
"Uhh I had a cousin, his name was Garret. He was 13 years old and I was 7. He was my favorite cousin. We use to always play school, and Doctor together. They always came and visited my family Christmas and thanksgiving and a lot of times I would go to my aunties house just so I could hang out with Garret." She had paused and took a deep breath.
She repositioned us so that we were facing each other.
She wrapped her arms around me again.
I placed my head on her chest.
"Well one year when Garrett had came over for thanks giving we were upstairs while the adults were downstairs getting drunk and conversing. Garrett had uhh told me to come sit on his lap. So I did I didn't know any better because I was so young and I thought he's my cousin so I don't have anything to worry about. Well when I did he started to uh touch me." I felt her heart began to beat faster.
"He had pulled my pants down and he had you know inserted himself into me. He told me not to scream or we'd both get in trouble. I had begged him to stop but he didn't. It didn't last long but it felt like a life time at the moment. After that I stopped wanting to be around Garrett and my mom noticed. She would ask me did I want to hang out with him and I would always cry and say no. It had finally got to the point where my mom had gotten suspicious about my behavior. She went to my aunt and they talked. It wasn't until I was Nine that I actually told my mom what happened. I told her because he had did it again. But this time it was during the Christmas visit. After they had left I went and told my parents what happened. My dad was angry as you can imagine and my mom cried." I heard her sniffling so I decided to wrap my arms around her.
"My mom told me to get dressed. So I did. Me her and my father all went to my aunts house. It was an hour drive so I had fallen asleep on the way but I when I woke up we were there. I was scared to see Garrett again. When we got in my aunt opened the door and she let us in. My dad didn't even say hey he just asked where Garrett was. My aunt called him down and when he walked down the steps I hid behind my mom. My dad grabbed Garrett by his those choking the life out of him. My mom and aunt tried to pry his hands off Garrett. And once they did my aunt grabbed Garrett and wrapped her arms around him. She asked my dad what was the matter with him. And my dad said 'that little bastard rapped my princess' my aunt didn't believe it. She refused to but you know she had no other choice to when she looked at Garrett's guilty looking face. He was crying and apologizing to his mom. I was crying to. My mom and dad signed me up for counseling until I was the age of 13. I can say it honestly really helped me." Once she finished she placed her head on my shoulder and cried little.
I rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you Dr. K ." I whisper in her ear.
"It's ok Onika it was the past and I'm better now." She says in to my shoulder.
"You're a very strong girl Onika and when you're ready to tell me what happened I'm all ears ok." I nodded I don't think I'd ever be ready.
"Uh I think it's best if I leave now Dr. K." I say pulling away slightly.
She stared down at me.
She looked so raw and beautiful.
Her light brown eyes sparkled from her tears.
Her nose was slightly red and her pink lips were pouty.
I looked down at my feet.
"Ok Onika I'll see you tomorrow." I nodded and grabbed my stuff and walked out.
She had made me feel better no longer wanted to get drunk any more.
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Hellooooo my beautiful supporters 😌
How do you guys feel about Onika's past experience?
How do you guys feel about Bey's cousin Garrett little nasty ass?
Isn't Bey sweet hugging Onika and making her feel like that💜💜💜
Anyways here's an update please like and comment😩😩
We need some more views on this book.
It's chapter 7 😒...
Butttttt since I'm enjoying writing this book I am going to continue it and because you guys are so sweet and always comment on the book😘😘