♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
See the beauty of life: laughs & love
Mind your feelings and thoughts
Identify your happiness & dreams
Look on towards your journey
Everything, treat with a smile...
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Following my daily routine, I never would have guessed
First time we've each other seen, both differently dressed
January 3rd, Friday, it's the usual hour of lunch.
Playing "Pachelbel's Canon in D Major" on my violin was, is, and always be, too easy for me. Every day at school, especially at lunch, I always find time to play in my violin. It's not as if I needed it since I've already won awards before I even reached High School. My parents told me that playing my violin in the music room doesn't show 'practice-makes-perfect' but instead, 'practice-time-is-like-play-time-for-me'. Even if it doesn't make any sense, following what my parents tell me is what I normally do.
Placing down my violin, I sighed. Why did I sigh? I don't understand myself at all I thought to myself. Suddenly, a group of boys were passing by, outside the music room. Having no interest I preceded in fixing my music piece when a ball bounced to my feet.
After picking up the ball, I turned and one of those boys had walked in. Hmm, he's wearing a dark blue uniform, must be from the general education section of this school.
I handed the ball to him. Scratching his head with his right hand, he apologized, "Sorry for the intrusion. I know we're not supposed to be allowed in this section."
Giving him the same smile I wear when I perform on stage, I said, "It's alright. Please be more careful next time."
He suddenly frowned, "Hey I apologized already so I hope you'll accept it."
I tilted my head to show confusion, "I said it's alright didn't I?" What does he mean?
"James! You got the ball already?" One of the boys shouted.
He looked at the door then turned back to me, "Oh, so you accepted that 'sorry' I told you earlier?"
I nodded in response. He scratched his head with his right hand again, then offered his left hand towards me, "My name's James, as what you've heard my friends called me, what's yours?"
Looking at him, I accepted his hand, "My name is Melissa, pleased to meet you."
James then turned to leave the room. When he reached the door I was about to turn away when he spoke, "Melissa," I looked at him and he continued, "learn to fix that smile of yours" then he smiled a very warm smile. I never realized how warm a smile could be.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
In every school there're pros and cons
Sigh, with you far away can I make a song?
There's still ten minutes left before the end of lunch. I left the music room and headed towards my classroom. I pass by the open corridor that presents the garden of the school. 'Harrington University' was written under the fountain that stands in the middle of the garden. Around the fountain were two-foot low rose bushes that form a labyrinth. The pathway between the rose bushes had benches in some parts of it.
Harrington University is known to be the school that has two divisions. The first division consists of prestigious students. In the first division of the school, the lessons are mainly about performing arts, music, business, and technology. I am one of those students from the first division. My parents give the most donations for the continuous funds of the school and are therefore the most respected visitors here.
The second division or the general education division consists of average, common students. Students such as them receive the standard education given to all schools in the country.
The facilities of the two divisions are likewise different. However, they do not differ with the gymnasium and the pathway towards the garden. To distinguish ourselves, the general education students wear dark blue uniforms. On the other hand, we from the first division, wear sky blue uniforms.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
I've done all I could, my whole life is a play
I do and follow what my parents would say
I am always there to obey
"Welcome home young miss."
The servants greeted me upon my arrival at home. I nodded at them, afterwards, headed towards my room.
My family is famous for being excellent in the field of music. My father had been a conductor of famous orchestral productions in Europe. My mother on the other hand, was a composer of various soap operas that was famous in Europe and America. Being the daughter of the said two, I was born inclined to music. I have a legacy to live ever since I was born.
As I head towards my room I pass by my parents' various awards, pictures, and achievement, posted on the walls. Once entering inside, I placed my violin carefully in place. Walking briskly towards the bathroom, I took some change of clothes in my closet.
After changing, I finished my homework easily then proceeded to my music scores.
I was about to open my violin case when a knock came from my door, "Miss, your parents are calling for you in the video phone."
I nodded then went out towards the living room.
Once I got inside, I was greeted by my parents appearing in a large screen, "Melissa, how are you dear?"
I smiled, "I'm fine mother, father, how was your business in London?"
Mother smiled, "Oh sweetie, it has been most pleasant. We met the queen yesterday during a private dinner and it was marvelous. But enough about us dear, how was school?"
"It's fine as always mother."
Father eyed me, "Please be more specific Melissa."
I nodded, "Last week, some teachers from Julliard visited the school and complimented my musical skills. The others were most pleased to know that a daughter of yours was studying in the school. They had given me an invitation to avail a scholarship in their school once I reach college." I paused to catch my breath, "I still continue my playing every day, but the music room has been relocated near the general education division."
Mother smiled, "Well those gentlemen have good eyes when it comes to seeing your talent, however they are most unfortunate since I've already made plans for your college admissions. I hope you wouldn't mind that dear?"
I shook my head, "I don't mind it mother."
"Very well said dear, since as the saying goes, 'Mother knows best'" turning towards father, "Don't you think so too?"
Father hadn't answered her, but instead he asked me, "The music room has been relocated?"
I nodded again, "Yes father, it has."
He frowned slightly then mother suddenly spoke worryingly, "It is good that you can now present your talent to those second division students, but I'm worried that you would be influenced."
I answered with careful assurance, "I will not let that be so, mother. I shall only follow what you and father tells me."
Father's frown ceased and I feel that's the sign of him being pleased. "Well then, let's not keep our daughter away from her studies too long. I shall say my goodbyes now."
Mother then agreed, "Of course dear," turning towards me, "Melissa sweetie, we're both very proud of you for always trusting us, now if you'll excuse us we best be on our way."
I smiled once more, "Of course, mother, father, goodbye."
She smiled back then the screen went black.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Should I say no? Should I fight back?
He appears in my mind, hey what's with that?
I was about to go to sleep when I remembered my parents and the conversation earlier. As always, they would tell me what to do, and I would normally nod and nod and nod till they are satisfied. Why do I even bother pleasing them both? I thought of this question numerous times, but I just can't seem to find the answer. With no answer at all, I didn't have the courage to speak what I feel.
I've always been like this since I was young. My parents had taught me that people outside the family are not to be trusted. They had taught me that friends are never true and that I should avoid them. If ever I meet someone, they told me to treat them as if they are the audience while I am the show. Appear to them with a smile that makes them think, "Oh, she's truly kind. Oh look at her gorgeous smile. Oh my, you really are Johann and Marianne's daughter." I never seem to encounter any problems when I follow what my parents say, but at the same time, I never felt happy. But then, what does it mean to be happy?
A face appeared in my mind, James? I had no idea why I thought of him.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Who are you really? You're such a pain
By watching you daily what could I gain?
January 4th, Thursday, inside the music room, I started to play "Gavotte". That piece is known to be one of the easiest pieces that have a high tempo, a fast beat. After finishing the song, I carefully placed down my violin in place, and sat down. Enjoying the silence for a few minutes a thought came to me. Is there such a thing as silence? Thinking about it makes we wonder, so I took out a dictionary in my bag.
Silence (noun)
The state of being silent (as when no one is speaking); the absence of sound...
I was about to sink in the words when I heard voices. Peering out the door, I saw the same group of boys as yesterday. I know that I have no business with them, but I couldn't keep my eyes off James. I don't know why, but I keep staring at his-smile. It was the same as yesterday. It was warm, and happy. I don't know if I feel jealousy, since I've never felt it before. I didn't need to be jealous of others because I have everything I needed. Why should I be jealous?
I still look at him, until they turn at the next corner and disappear from my sight. Returning to my seat I sighed, did I feel jealous?
Everyday, January 5th, January 6th, until January 13th, I would look at him. Even during weekends he would come to school, when I found out about his being a varsity player of our basketball team.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Music, that's what I do
Surprised that you listen too
This nervous feeling in me, shoo!
January 14th, Tuesday, I was practicing "Bourree" inside the music room. Based from previous experiences, I noticed a pattern that once I finish my piece, he and his friends would pass by outside. I was about to finish the piece when I heard someone stirring at the back of the room. I stopped playing and turned. To my surprise, it was James. He looked as if he was asleep with his yawning. "I'm sorry if I woke you" I hurriedly said.
He looked at me then at the door, then back at me, "It's alright, the sound was beautiful. I've always wanted to hear and see you play, but it seems that when my friends and I would pass by, you'd stop playing."
I felt aback, he wanted to see me play my music?
James looked at me, and then raised his brow, "Are you sick?"
I shook my head in a flustered manner. Why am I acting flustered?
Walking to my side, he placed the palm of his hand on my forehead then sighed after a few seconds, "You don't seem to have a fever, but why is your face red?" He placed his hands to his side.
Did he say that my face is red?! I was truly surprised.
"I'm fine, you don't need to worry!" I sounded frantic.
Then he laughed. He really laughed. The laugh was so true that I felt warm inside. Then he stopped laughing.
I looked at him, "Is there something wrong?"
Smiling as he said, "You smiled. It was a beautiful smile." I smiled? How? I didn't make myself do the action.
At that moment my body was feeling really feverish. I don't have a fever but why is it that my temperature is raising?
When I looked at him, I saw him looking worried, "Don't worry, I'm fine." I paused, "Thanks for the compliment earlier." Then I showed my normal smile.
He frowned, "What's with the fake aura?"
I was taken aback, "Fake?"
"Oh, I'm sorry about the term. It's just-I'm sorry, I know that we're not close or even know you very much, so I know that I shouldn't have said it, I-I'm sorry."
I felt something warm up to me that I didn't realize what I said next, "Then you can come here every day."
He looked surprised.
Waving my hands in a frantic manner, "It's just so you could get to know me," then my voice faded, "because that's what you said earlier." I feel my head spinning, what did I just say? This is not me! I've never acted this frantic before, especially when in front of someone or anyone!
I was about to turn around with my head low when he said, "If it's alright with you, I'd like to come here again."
Looking up at him, I felt relieved, "I'm glad" then a thought came to me, "but what about your friends?"
Scratching his head, "It's kind of complicated."
I didn't want to pry any longer so instead I said, "See you tomorrow then James."
"See you then Melissa"
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Listen, when it's silent, just listen
Shh, the answer's there, that glisten
James came the next day, and the next, and the next. We don't talk much about ourselves but instead, about things that are less trivial, just anything that pops up in our minds. At one time, January 29th, we were in the garden talking about how interesting it was to draw a labyrinth. I nodded and just continued it from there. Afterwards, we remained silent.
During the silence that followed I remembered some thoughts, "Hey James"
Looking at me he answered, "Yes?"
I looked at the sky, "What does it mean to be happy?"
There was silence before he answered, "To be happy, it's like to appear with a sincere smile."
I nodded, then continued, "Speaking of sincere smiles, why is it that when I smile you would frown?"
"What does your smile look like?"
I turned to him then smiled.
He frowned, "Are you sure you're smiling? It looks like the face an actress would present if she's on stage. It's like wearing a mask that is beautiful, but is still not true."
I felt surprised. Can he read people's minds?
We were both silent again when a thought came to me, "Hey have you ever wondered if there's such a thing as silence?"
"No, I've never wondered about it." He remained silent for a while then asked, "What do you think?"
"I don' know." I paused, "I read in the dictionary once that silence is the absence of sound, but then I thought, there is no such thing. If there is absence of sound in a place, then why can I still hear the winds howling? Why do I hear the birds chirping? Why are there still crickets making noises? It's as if the 'absence of sound' means there is no life."
James looked at the sky, "I think you're right." Then he continued, "How did you conclude, or should I say, 'hypothesized' the answer to your question?"
I breathed, "I remained quiet and listened."
He nodded, "I see, then if you want to know what it means to be happy, the just keep quiet and listen." Afterwards he smiled, and then giggled, "Melissa, you truly have such a wild imagination, but it's cute."
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Keep your promises, keep your swears
Dream big and fulfill it, it's much better than a dare
It's been more than a month since I first met James. At February 13th, Thursday, I found out about James' dream.
During lunch break, James had brought over a chocolate cake that he baked for me. I didn't know what else to say so I just thanked him. As I was eating with him, I found the cake so heavenly.
"James! This cake is so beautiful in design and taste. Do you like baking?"
Chewing his food, when he heard my remark he swallowed hard and slow. "Well actually," he looked down, "It's not that I don't like it, it's just that-are you going to tell anyone or laugh at me?" He sounded frantic.
I shook my head, "I promise not to tell anyone or laugh, besides what's wrong with liking it?"
He rubbed hands, then placed one hand on his head to scratch it, "I don't like baking. I love it."
Staring at him she asked, "Aren't you a lover of sports?"
He smirked, facing the other direction, "Yes I love sports but," he smiled, "I also love to make people smile with the food that I make."
Thinking about what he said, I concluded, "I know what you mean, there's hope for your work with its uniqueness. It will make other bakers swell with jealousy, right?"
Sighing, he took my hand, "You don't really get it do you?"
What do I don't get? I looked at our entwined hands when he started to pull me, "Come on, I'll show you something."
He pulled me towards the gate of the school-where we sneaked out-and continued walking until we reached the town's park. I was so focused in his hand holding mine that I didn't see his other hand, clutching the box that holds his cake.
When we reached a group of kids playing basketball-I mean, fighting within the court-he lets go of my hand and called to them, "Hey! You guys seem tired. Why not have a bit of this cake?"
They all turned towards him and hurried to his side. I didn't see the connection of his actions with what we discussed earlier, so I just kept quiet for a while.
Once the finished, they all thanked James and sat down. Afterwards, he walked towards me and called, "Melissa, do you understand now?"
I shook my hand, "I still don't know what you're talking about James."
He sighed and nodded towards the boys, "Look at them."
As I turned to see them, they weren't fighting anymore. They were giving off a happy feeling. Hmm, must be the cake.
"I guess I can see it a bit more now."
James smirked, "Well, I guess that's better than your reaction earlier."
We were silent for a few moments when one of the kids called out, "Hey mister! Can you play ball?"
He looked at me, and then I nodded at him to go.
James looked great with his posture while playing. He was happy, enjoying himself. But then, I started to notice something with his smile, it was forced.
Once they finished, I asked him what the meaning of his expression earlier was.
He was quiet for a while then said, "Remember when you found me asleep in the music room before?"
"Yes I remembered that time. Why do you ask?"
Sighing, he answered, "Well, you asked me if it was alright with my friends if I'd come visit you every day."
I nodded, "Go on."
"Before that, during free period, I told them about my love for baking, and they just-"
He paused, then I asked, "They just what?"
Looking down he continued, "They laughed at me and called me ridiculous."
At that moment I warmed up inside, "I'm sure you'll make a great baker and own a wonderful patisserie, ten years from now. We are graduating soon anyways."
He nodded, "What about you Melissa?"
I looked down, "I don't know. My parents have already planned my whole future for me."
James suddenly held my hand, "Don't say that, you shouldn't just say that. You should fight for your dream."
Looking at our entwined hands, "I still don't know my dream."
He lets go then again scratches his head, "Alright, let's make a promise then."
"What kind of promise?"
He paused then held out his pinky. I entwined my pinky with his before he continued, "Repeat after me okay?"
I nodded then he said, "We, James and Melissa,"
"We, James and Melissa,"
"Swear that ten years from now,"
I eyed him confusingly but continued, "Swear that ten years from now,"
"Have achieved the first step to fulfilling our dreams."
I paused, hesitated, but one look at his reassuring eyes I finished, "Have achieved the first step to fulfilling our dreams."
After letting go I said, "And since you'll be a baker ten years from now, you should stop scratching your head or no one would buy your pastries." Then I laughed, really, truly laughed.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
You are not me, I am not you
I'll shine, my own color, my own hue
I'll show you all that I can do
Once I got home that day, to my surprise, my parents were there. "Melissa! We're back sweet heart."
I smiled at them both. "Welcome back home mother and father."
Then they looked at each other, as if they were quite surprised to see me, "Melissa, are you alright? It seems that you've changed since we last saw you dear."
Father approached me, "Do you have a new friend?"
My eyes widened at his tone. I felt scared that I couldn't say anything, because of that he got impatient, "Answer me."
"Oh, don't be such a pussy," mother intervened, "Who needs to know if our daughter made friends to increase her fan basis, she will be leaving this place with us tomorrow."
Mother's words took a long time to digest in my mind, "We're moving?" I said it in a much frantic tone that made father eye me. "What's wrong with that?"
Again mother intervened, "She's just surprised dear." Turning towards me, "Don't worry dear Melissa, in London you will find beautiful people like us and you can make lots of friends with them." She smiled.
I felt something fume inside me that I've never felt before. "No."
She looked at me, "No?"
Frowning at them both I said, "You can't always tell me what to do. I'm not a kid anymore. I'll be sixteen tomorrow and simple matters like this, I can already decide for myself."
Both of them-mother and father-looked at each other. Mother turned to me with a sad expression on her face and left the room. Father turned to me, and I expected him to shout out how disappointed he was of me, but instead, he patted my head and said, "We know. Your mother is just afraid to lose her daughter."
I looked at him, "Father, aren't you mad at me for disobeying your orders?"
He sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder, "Those were your mother's orders, not mine. I want you to learn to speak your mind and to be strong." He smiled, father had smiled, "And I am proud that you are starting to grow as the person I want you to be."
I felt like crying, but I couldn't do such a thing in front of my father, so instead I hugged him, "Thank you father."
When I let go he told me, "You should go talk to your mother, she's surely feeling down about now. Would you care to join me?"
I nodded, "But father, I first need to get something from my room."
Father nodded and left the room to talk to mother. Once he was gone, I walked a bit hurried along the hallways, and went to my room, to get my violin. Afterwards, I hurried to mother's room, where I found her sitting on the couch-sobbing-while father half-sat, half-stood beside her on the couch's arm.
Knocking on the door, they both looked up to see me. Father motioned me in and I did. Upon entering, mother looked at me with sad eyes.
I bowed and looked at her, "Mother, you know me better than anyone that I have more talent in expressing my emotions through music than words or actions."
Not waiting for her response, I played a very simple, but beautiful song by Franz Schubert, 'Ave Maria'.
Once I finished the piece, I walked till I reached a small distance from me and my mother, and kneeled-sat on the floor. "Mother, you have always been there for me. You and father have done so much for me to have a problem-free life, filled with spotlights and everything, but, to tell you the truth, all those never, not once, ever, made me happy."
She sniffed, and then spoke in a choked voice, "Go on"
I breathed, "I met this boy, and his name is James. At first I thought that he was just another one of those persons that would just pass by in my life, but I became attached to him more than I ever imagined. James, he taught me," I paused and smiled, "He taught me how to smile..."
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
The day of love, the day of parting, the day of birthdays
Goodbyes and longing, February 14th, a Friday
February 14th, Friday, I dressed myself in the uniform of the general education students. I had to, because it'd be strange to see a first division student walking around here. Seeing one of his friends, I asked them if they could tell him the message that "Melissa's waiting for you now." James would surely get the message to go to the music room.
After that, I went to the music room and placed a letter that was addressed to him. I'm sorry, but I just don't have the courage to say goodbye personally, I thought to myself.
I left the room afterwards and went to the airport where mother and father were waiting. They allowed me to give my letter to James before we left the continent. I didn't want to stay and hide in a place where I could see James reading the letter. I had a very unlucky sixteenth.
Dear James,
I have no talent when it comes to writing, nor saying goodbyes, so let me tell you know to not expect much in this letter. I only have three things I want to tell you and I hope that you'd truly understand them. Firstly, I have never met a good friend like you in all my years. You were, are, and always will be, my first friend who saw me as I am. Who heard me when I cried inside, who heard me when I felt like breaking down, and who heard me, no matter the distance and time? You inspired me to live my dream, and as promised, I will work hard to find it, and to attain it.
Secondly, you have an amazing dream, and I can only pray for your success. I would truly want to help you in finding an academy for bakers, but then that would be cheating on our 'swears' right? Hmm, but since you did inspire me to do my best to attain my dreams, I've included in this letter a list of schools you can enter to in college, within the American Continent. That list of schools would be able to provide you with a generous scholarship, courtesy of my family. So you need not worry much if your choice would be on that list.
Thirdly, I am moving in Europe, for a very long time. I don't know when I would be able to save up to visit you, so I can't promise you that we could see each other there. The schools that are included in the list, have branches in Europe, so if you really work hard, there might be a chance for us to see each other again. It may not be soon, but I would really be glad to see you again sometime in the future.
I won't give you any address, phone, or even an e-mail. It would be really painful for me to not see you. And I can't handle our contact with each other but not actually 'see' each other.
With love and smiles (forced smile),
Melissa
P.S. I will truly miss you. Please, do me a favor and accept my apology for the forced smile. I cannot truly smile, knowing that it would not be 'soon' when we will meet again.
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
Naive, gullible, am I still that while ten years passed?
At least he doesn't get tired of it, our love will last
Ten years has passed...
February 14th, Wednesday, I've just finished my third concert for the week.
"Melissa!" I turned to see the owner of the orphanage, Mrs. Hurst, waving at me, as she jogged towards me, "Thank you so much for this concert. The money you've raised is enough to save the orphanage. I'm sorry that you couldn't receive even a single profit from it."
I smiled, "You're very welcome, and it's alright. To know that the children would smile because of my music is enough for me."
"Oh but," she paused then suddenly snapped her fingers, "I know, why don't I treat you some tea and bread? I go to this place once in a while, and the baker there may be young, but his food's taste is the same as that of professionals. I think it's called 'Foods n' Music' or something."
I waved my hand, "No thanks." Then she whispered, "There's no helping it", smiled at me, and then left.
I walked towards a small shop. Upon entering, the bell tinkled and a male voice greeted me, "Good evening, how may I help you?"
Then when he turned to my direction and saw me, he sighed, "Oh it's just you."
I placed down my violin and shoulder bag on his counter then said, "What's with the tone? You shouldn't treat your costumers this way."
He laughed and placed a kind of cake on the table, "What do you think? It's called the 'Melodious Melissa'."
I grinned, "It's quite a long name. But thanks for using me as an inspiration."
Grinning back he answered, "Who said that you're my inspiration? It's just a 'Valentine-Birthday Special' for my girlfriend"
Taking a fork, I cut a small portion of the cake-where there was a design of a violin-shaped candy-at the side, and then chewed it slowly, "You know, one of your costumers, Mrs. Hurst, the one who owns the orphanage, said that you were an amateur chef, but your work equals that of a professional-ouch!"
Something was caught on my teeth, as I took it out, my whole body shivered before it stiffened when I saw what was caught in my teeth. James strolled to my side, took it from me, wiped it with his apron, and bent on one knee, "Melissa, It's been only three years since we started dating, but I've been saving up, since I started this business seven years ago." He started to breathe heavily, "I know that I can't promise you a prestigious life, I can't promise you anything but my love, but I wish-" he suddenly choked, "-I wish that you would do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
I was silent for almost a whole minute to gather up my thoughts. With a deep breath I replied, "Remember when we promised ten years ago, that ten years after, we would have achieved the first step to fulfilling our dreams?" I didn't wait for answer and continued, "I finally found out what my dream was." Then I kneeled down to his level and smiled, "I dreamed that you would always be by my side, making me smile, and that it would last forever."
James stared at me, seemingly speechless. I giggled, "What I meant to say is, yes. Yes, I would accept the honor of becoming your wife."
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥
So did you find it?
Must be hard at first, but-
In the midst of all troubles
Love has made you see
Entirety of your life's dreams
♥~~~~~~♪♫~~~~~♥