HAPPY JOOBENTINES DAY!
Sorry for not updating, I had like 833427423234 projects to do because it was the stupid fucking end of the semester
Anyway, enjoy! And get your singing voice ready ;)
Poot gasped.
"Joob what the fuk are you doing, I'm not ready to do this yet, fat." She said.
Joob looked down and screamed.
"OH MY GOD, POOT I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW" Joob yelled in terror.
"Um, okay. Anyway, I came here to find you, and now that I did...I don't know. What should we do?" Poot replied.
Joob went upstairs and came back in a cheese costume.
"No. That makes you look even fatter, fat." Poot smirked and patted one of the holes in the cheese.
"Fine." Joob went back to his room and put on a normal outfit.
"So..where are you taking me?" Joob asked Poot in curiosity.
"I found someone special...and you're gonna love them." Poot replied and took Joob's hand, leading him to the backyard.
"Remember Becky?" Poot asked.
"Yeah..." Uh oh. Joob began to sweat nervously and let go of Poot's hand.
"SHE IS YOUR FUKING NEIGHBOR, YOU BLIND BAT!" Poot yelled in Joob's ear.
Joob screamed.
"You mean to tell me, this whole entire time she was here and I didn't know?"
"Exactly! And now that she is here...we should kidnap her again."
Joob was skeptical.
Sure, he was way more than happy to see Poot again;
But, he changed a lot. He doesn't want to murder Becky as much as he did when he was a child.
"Okay. I guess."
"You don't sound so excited. FAT."
"No I promise It's fine"
"K then let's go, omigawd." She tried to flick Joob's vagina but it felt harder than that.
In confusion, Poot recoiled and widened her eyes.
"You're a man?!?!" Poot screamed.
Joob started to cry
"Yes?!?!?" He screamed back and tried to hit Poot.
She caught his wrists in the act and twisted them behind his back.
"I swear to Beyonce, if you do that to me one more time, I'm leaving you for good."
Joob nodded and sighed.
They walked into Becky's backyard and smiled in unison.
Becky was dancing to a song called "I Knew You Were Donald".
It went like this (to the tune of I Knew You Were Trouble obviously):
'once upon a time,
a few mistakes ago
you were born,
but your mom wanted you
to go back in the womb, back in the womb, back in the womb
i guess you didn't want to,
and i guess she merely accepted that
but when you turned into shit
she fell back into hate
on your choices, like how the fuck, do you think you're gonna build a wall
but you're dick isn't long
and you have no balls
but you realize
the blame is on your dad
But I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
cus you looked like a piece of shit
you dick went straight into your brain,
and that's all you can act like
I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
So shame on your toupe
You made fun of disabled men,
and now your poll has gone down
Oh, oh no, trumple, trumple, trumple
Oh, oh no, trumple, trumple, trumple
No apologies,
You're not a nice guy
You say muslims are terrorists,
Yet you don't have a reason why
You're doubting, you're doubting, that you cannot do anything
And I saw after a while
Your polls were going up
And I almost cried
Because WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK??!!??
Your head isn't straight
But your sexuality is
And we clearly see
Melania gets raped, YEAH.
I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
cus your hair looked like corn stalks
You make me and others want to shoot ourselves,
If you won the presidential debate
I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
cus your soul was colored black
You think you know how to get payed back,
from your loan of a million dollars
Oh, oh no, trumple, trumple, trumple
Oh, oh no, trumple, trumple, trumple
And the saddest fear,
Comes creeping in
That you'd win the debate
And do all the things you said, and be a dick, and get cash, cash, cash
I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
cus you talked about yourself
You think you're better than everyone
Why do people still like you???
I knew you were Donald when you walked in,
cus you called the girls ugly
You're sexist, racist, and fascist
And you're also a fucking bitch
Oh, oh yeah, I just, called you, a bitch
Oh, oh yeah, I am, a huge, savage
I knew you were Donald when you walked in
Trumple, trumple, trumple
I knew you were Donald when you walked in
Please stop, getting, more votes'
Joob clapped his hands vigorously until they burned.
"WHO MADE THIS SONG?? ITS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT SELINGA GOATMEZ PERSON"
Becky giggled and raised her hand.
"I wrote this song and my dearly awesome sister produced it."
Poot made a scrunched up facial expression with her nose.
"You mean..you're nice to your sister?? After what she did to you??!"
"She would never do something to me! After you guys tried to possibly kidnap me, I ran to Taylor. She helped me overcome my fears of personal attacks in my elder years. From then, we've worked as a team and shared our profit so that we were both happy and conceited of our jobs." Becky shared with them.
"Dis bitch is boring as fuckkk. Let's just kidnap her right now." Poot demanded.
Joob hesitated. He knew the feeling all too well.
Would he help the love of his life? Or be the bigger person?
Joob just couldn't do it.
He just didn't want to kill people he just met.
Joob slowly reached his hands towards to door.
Poot grabbed his wrists again and tied them behind his back with the extra rope.
"I knew you wouldn't be able to make a decision. You can't ever escape. We're gonna do it my way."
She put tape over Joob's mouth and covered Becky's.
She grabbed the rope and tied Becky's hands too.
She then tied Becky's feet together.
Poot walked out of the house carrying Becky and put her into the basement.
Then she grabbed Joob and tied his feet too.
She picked him up and threw him in the basement too.
She pulled the tape off of Joob's mouth.
Suddenly, miles of flashbacks poured into Joob's brain.
"Please Poot! We're soulmates! Why are you putting me back in here?" Joob cried.
"You're not the same person you used to be, Joob. You never will be."
Poot shut the door and locked it.
Becky was screaming while Joob's tears spilled onto his lap.
Suddenly, Joob had an idea.
"I'm gonna pull the tape off of you with my teeth."
He placed his teeth on the tape and slowly pulled it off, staring into Becky's eyes.
Becky leaned in for a kiss.
Joob fLIPPED HIS CHAIR AROUND AND ESCAPED, DOING THE JOHN CENA ON BECKY AND LEFT HER IN THE BASEMENT.
Joob shut the door in relief when suddenly a knock is heard.
Joob slowly creeped towards the window and saw Poot standing outside.
"Joob! I know you're in there! Let me in!" She yelled.