I Like Platypuses

By Dess_Basilisk

3.9K 813 939

Platypuses? Platypi? Platypeople? You know what I mean... More

I Like Platypuses
SPN According To My Mom
Ships
Facts
Save the Desses
YAY FOR BREAK!
Your Dess
Desses for Everyone!!
Merry Christmas!
Last Chapter of 2015
Happy New Year!!
R.I.P. Alan Rickman :(
Fangirl Development
Tagggg
Dragons
Another Tag Thing
For All "Secrets" Readers
0-0
Bots
Hello Plz Help
A Platypus Celebration
The Inevitable Sappy Thank-You Chapter
More Science Fair
Trampoline Angel
More Platypi
Change
Shower Thoughts
A Beautiful Conversation
No Hope for the Hobbits (Prologue)(?)
#FactDragons2016
Band
1am Thoughts
A/N
Updates!
Fluff for all the Thomalyn fans
!!!
Roleplay
Roleplay (again)
Flute Problems (aka #JustFluteThings)
Description
Wattys
Band
A Small Survey
Savanna and LotR
Welcome to my School!
Thoughts During Band
The Birthday Chapter
20 Facts About Me (Eruva)
The Platypus Party
My 4th Grade Writing (with commentary!)
Jeff's Summer Vacation(?)
ILP Olympics- Opening Ceremony
ILP Olympics- Gymnastics and Archery
ILP Olympics- Swimming
ILP Olympics-Final "Event"
Of Band, Legolas, and Dess Being a Horrible Person
A Very ILP Christmas
Profile Picture
Some Sad News
VERY IMPORTANT TODAY
The Last Goodbye

Jeff's New Year

61 17 24
By Dess_Basilisk

Jeff: *throws confetti* HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Dess: ...aren't you a little late for that?

Jeff: That's not the point. Anyways...

Canty: NUUUU JEFF WHAT ABOUT MY NEW YEAR'S KISS??

Jeff: Lol too bad

Canty: Well my resolution is to GET A BOYFRIEND WHO ACTUALLY APPRECIATES ME!!

Jeff: ...we were dating?

Dess: *phone rings* Oh, looks like I'm needed in another dimension. Bye! *yells into phone* SAVE MEEEEE

Jeff: Wanna hear my resolutions?

Canty: Not really...

Jeff: Well, I want to get Carrie to love me, ear more people, get a pet Nazgul, and become the ruler of the universe.

Jelly: Um, Jeff? Those seem kinda unrealistic.

Jeff: Your point being...

Canty: Jelly, do you know any reliable boyfriends that I can date?

Jelly: Ummm there was this donkey but I ate him

Canty: :(

Jeff: Hey, speaking of dating, has anyone seen Carrie?

Jelly: Yeah. She moved to Oklahoma to get away from you.

Jeff: WE'RE GOING TO OKLAHOMA! *zooms off on convenient rocket*

Canty: Alright, who's ready for the apocalypse?

Dess: *peeks around corner* Is he gone?

Canty: I hope so.

Dess: Good. *eats Jelly* oooh, strawberry!

Canty: YOU ATE JELLY WHAT THE PINEAPPLES

Dess: I'm sorry, I was hungry...

Canty: I don't even know how I put up with you any more

Jelly: *pops out from bush* Hi

Dess: Didn't I just eat you?

Jelly: Dess, you're the author of this book. You, of all people, should know that we never die.

Dess: True

Terry: GREAT, NOW I HAVE TO FIX THE FOURTH WALL AGAIN *grumbles*

Canty: Lol

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