(Natalie's POV)
"Jeanine," Eric acknowledges as we approach the group.
Seriously, what the hell is she doing here? This is a problem.
Nervous, I try my best to stay behind Eric so that he blocks me, but not before I catch sight of my dad and Jeanine's assistant behind Brian and Jeanine. The other Dauntless leaders are also among the group.
"Good evening, Eric," Jeanine greets with her proper Erudite tone. I stand halfway hidden behind his tall stature. "I assume you'll be joining us for our meeting."
"Of course," he replies.
"And who is this you have with you here?"
Shit!
Eric steps aside to expose me and places his hands behind his back. "One of our initiates," he answers.
Jeanine smiles at me. "Ah, yes. It's always nice to see a familiar face. How are you, Natalie?"
With my heart beating nervously, I force a small smile and answer. "Fine, thank you." Keep it together, keep it together.
"Mm. And how do you find yourself doing here at Dauntless, with initiation?"
Okay. Now we're beginning to cross into some very nerve-racking territory.
"This one here is actually doing quite well," says Brian after clearing his throat. Normally I'd be suspicious as to why he's answering for me, but in this case, I think I'm actually a bit thankful.
"At the moment, she's ranked second," he adds.
"Well," says Jeanine, sounding like she's impressed. "I'm glad to hear that. It seems you made the right decision choosing Dauntless."
Again, I force a small smile. "Yeah, well... I sure think so."
I hear Eric lightly clear his throat from beside me. "Actually, I was just escorting her to the simulation room where she wanted to practice working through her fears some more."
I turn to look at him, wondering why he'd make up that lie.
"Don't your initiates do that in more of the earlier part of the day?" Jeanine asks.
"They do," Max answers, and he looks at Eric as if he's curious why we'd be headed there.
"Yeah, we do," I say in agreement, quickly thinking of a way to back up Eric's lie. "It's just, well, I thought it might be a good idea to get some more practice in, since we only have a week left until initiation is over."
"So you'll be practicing your fear simulations for the second time today?" Jeanine asks in a confirming manner.
I nod yes but I notice how Max, Brian, Drea, and Henry all look at me a bit suspiciously. Even my dad looks a little confused. They all look like they're wondering why I'd be crazy enough to go through my fears more than once in a day.
"I don't know, I guess I'm just a perfectionist in that way," I add convincingly. "A kind of... overachiever, I guess you could say."
A small, devious smile plays upon Jeanine's lips. Yes, use her own word for me against her. Let her think I'm still planning on aiming for first rank and going through with her little mission.
"Well, it's nice to see someone so motivated," she replies, and I can tell that she's secretly very happy with me. "Dauntless is lucky to have an initiate such as yourself this year."
I give a faint smile and look to Eric. Is this why he wanted me to be on my best behavior and make myself look good? For Jeanine? Was he trying to impress her?
"Well, we'll let you escort our initiate here to the simulation room," Max says to Eric, "You can join us as soon as you do that."
Eric gives a nod, and the group of seven resume their walk down the hallway. My dad and I both share a look as they pass by us, but Eric's hand returns to the small of my back and pushes me forward to begin walking. I guess the meeting that Brian earlier mentioned to Eric about obviously has to do with Erudite. But what are they here to discuss with Dauntless? Jeanine's plan to get rid of Divergents some more?
Feeling uneasy about this all, I try to walk alongside Eric as he leads us away. I'm still not sure why he told them he was taking me to the simulation room. Does he actually plan on taking me there?
When we're far enough away from the group that they're out of sight, I finally speak up and ask, "What is Jeanine doing here? And why'd you lie to them and say you were taking me to the simulation room?"
As we turn left down the next hallway, I realize that he is, in fact, leading us to the simulation room.
"I'm sorry I made you lie like that," he says as we continue to walk, "But I didn't just want to leave you alone after what happened with Hunter."
Oh, right. Hunter. I guess the heart-stopping surprise of having to deal with Jeanine made me temporarily forget about him.
We turn left again and arrive just outside the fear simulation room. Eric reaches for and grabs his set of keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door. He pushes me inside first, then closes the door behind us.
"Why'd you bring us in here?" I ask. "You're not going to actually make me practice my fears, are you?"
Stepping closer to me, he shakes his head. "No. I just needed a minute alone with you before I have to go back and join them for the meeting."
"Wait, I don't— What is she even doing here? Why did you want me to fake a smile and be on my best behavior? For her?"
"I didn't know she was going to be here. I just got back from Amity today remember? And I didn't think it'd be a good idea for any of them to find out you just came from a fight with another initiate. I mean, hell, you're lucky they didn't see me carrying you over my shoulder all kicking and screaming."
"He embarrassed me, and you just let him. God, Eric, you didn't even say anything! All you did was carry me out of there over your shoulder like I was a child!"
"Babe, I told you, I'll deal with him later, okay? I promise. You come first, though. Right now, I have you to worry about. So just stay in here and cool off for a while. I'll make sure to lock the door until I come back so that no one else comes in here."
"Wait, no, Eric, I don't wanna be locked in here—"
"It's the only way I know you'll be safe, okay? All the leaders will be in the meeting with Jeanine, and I don't want you and Hunter going at it again while none of us are around. So, please, just stay in here so that I know you're safe, and I promise I'll come back here to get you as soon as the meeting's over. It's either this or wait up in my apartment."
I want to argue so badly, but I know that he's serious right now and there are no other options. It's either wait in here for him to come back and get me or wait up in his apartment. The thing is, though, I haven't been back to his apartment ever since the day I broke up with him. That was over four weeks ago, and I honestly don't see myself ready to go back there yet. There's just too many memories.
"Okay, fine, I'll... I'll stay here," I say in a low voice.
He kisses me on the forehead, letting his lips linger against my skin for a moment afterward. "Thank you," he murmurs, and he kisses my forehead again. It's such a special type of affection, and I know he only does it because he cares about me.
"I promise I'll come back as soon as the meetings over."
Before I can ask anything else, we're interrupted by a sudden knock. Eric and I both look to the door, then share a look, wondering who it could be.
"Come here," he whispers, and he pulls me aside towards the corner so that no one will be able to see me.
He walks over to the door and opens it only enough to stick his head out. For a moment, he doesn't say anything; he just looks at whoever's standing outside the door.
Who the hell could it be?
"Yes?" he finally says.
For a moment, all there is is silence.
"I'd like to speak with my daughter."
I gasp lightly at the sound of that familiar deep voice. Dad.
Eric turns his head to look at me, his brows furrowed and lips slightly parted. He looks like he's not sure whether to believe it or not.
"Is she in there?"
I immediately step forward and open the door some more, but Eric's hand stays holding on to it. "Dad," I say, surprised to see him. "What... What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to have a quick word with you," he responds. He looks to Eric and adds, "Alone, preferably."
Eric doesn't open the door any further, nor does he move a muscle. His left arm just stays in front of me, gripping onto the edge of the door.
"Dad, shouldn't you be at the meeting with everyone else?"
After studying my appearance, my father shifts his green eyes back and forth between Eric and me as if something's wrong. "Is there something going on here?" he asks in a demanding tone.
"No," I quickly reply. "I just... What are you doing here? How'd you know where I was?"
"Natalie, I don't have all day," my father replies. "I'd like a minute alone with you to discuss an important private matter."
Eric's hand still doesn't move from holding the door open.
"Eric, it's fine," I say in a low voice, my hand on his back. "Just give me a minute."
I open the door wider until his hand falls off, and my dad immediately invites himself into the room, pushing right past Eric.
"Natalie, what happened to you?" he asks with concern as he reaches up to examine my neck. "You have marks and scratches all over you. How did you get these?"
I look down at my chest, but before I can answer, his head quickly turns to look over at Eric.
"She got them in a fight," Eric says to him, though he doesn't sound very convincing..
My dad looks back at me again. "Tell me, did he do this to you?"
"What? No, Dad, he didn't—"
"Then how did you get them?" he demands.
"From a fight!"
"A fight with who? Him?"
"What—No!"
"Then why did I see you thrown over his shoulder like a degraded, young woman right before you approached us back in the hallway?"
"Are you— Dad, can you please stop? You are being ridiculous. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He was carrying me away from a fight! All these scratches and marks on my neck and chest are from literally just being in a fight with some other initiate."
My father takes a step back and exhales deeply through his nose. Eric just looks at him like he already doesn't like him. I'm glad he's at least keeping his mouth shut, though, or else this would escalate to something extreme very quickly.
"Dad, what did you come in here for?" I ask calmly, crossing my arms against my chest.
"To make sure you were alright," he replies in his loud, protective-father tone. "I heard about the incident that happened back at home four weeks ago. All the neighbors said they were woken up by the alarming disturbance of Dauntless leaders yelling and beating down on our apartment door like savages. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my daughter, who's supposed to be at Dauntless, was, in fact, back at home, trying to hide from one of those same Dauntless leaders."
"Dad, stop," I beg, feeling overwhelmed by embarrassment. Eric just stands beside me against the door frame, taking every shot my dad is purposely throwing at him.
"That wasn't what I was— Look, I wasn't hiding, okay? I ran away because I had a lot going on that day and I—"
Stepping closer towards us, he interrupts. "Oh, yes, I know all about you having 'a lot going on', because your sister already informed me about your little involvement with the wrong type of guy. It wasn't easy getting it out of her, but once I threatened her freedom, you wouldn't believe the things she started to spill out of that fast, little, chatty mouth of hers. If I'm not mistaken" —he looks at Eric— "you manipulated my daughter into having feelings for you, lured her into your bed" —I step between them as he threateningly steps closer to Eric— "then felt the need to go and pick the one ironic girl to cheat on my daughter with and humiliate her. Now if that doesn't describe a loathsome, detestable, disreputable, lowlife piece of scum" —"Dad!" I shout— "then I don't know what does!"
The room falls silent as soon he finishes. It's too late; the words are out and they've done the damage. I'm lucky to be standing in front of Eric right now or else I don't know what he'd do. But I know he'd never hurt my dad as long as I'm standing in the crossfire. I can't imagine what he's feeling right now, and to be honest, I'm a little too nervous and afraid to turn around and look. All I know is that this is beyond awkward and humiliating. My heart and stomach have never felt this unsettled before.
"Dad, you don't know what you're talking about, okay? So can you please just leave?"
"I know that my daughter would never break the rules and run home in the middle of the night unless she was running from something. Now this is obviously not the type of person you should be associating yourself with anymore. Your mother and I raised you to be smarter than that."
"Dad, would you stop? You don't even know him. You don't know any—"
"I don't have to know him to know what he's done. Now I suggest you refocus on what's important in your life. I did not send you here to Dauntless so that you could forget who you are and become involved with the first troubled degenerate you meet."
"You didn't 'send' me here, I chose to leave! I am not a child, Dad. Believe it or not, I make my own choices now, and what I do in my life is no longer any of your concern."
"Wow," he replies, disappoint written all across his face. "You know what? You're right. You do make your own choices now, Natalie. And if I were you, I'd start to make better ones from here on out, because if your mother were here right now, I am telling you, she would be ashamed you."
His last words are literally all it takes to punch a hole through my heart and shut me up. I look up at him, no longer recognizing him for who he used to be. Never in my life has he ever spoken to me and put me down like this. Never.
Lost for words, I look down to the floor, not knowing what to think. Hearing from him that my mom would be ashamed of me is beyond hurtful. How can he stand there and say that to me?
As I begin to hold back stinging tears, I feel Eric's touch behind me, his hand moving to hold onto the side of my waist.
"Ray," someone speaks.
I look up to see who's outside the door, and Brian is standing there, stepping closer towards the three of us. He looks at us suspiciously as I stand in between my father and Eric.
"We're all waiting for you two," he tells them. "Let's go. Now."
Straightening up his tall posture, my father adjusts his pressed, navy blue, blazer jacket. "As I said before," he says, "I suggest you refocus on what's important in your life and begin making smarter decisions. What you do here reflects highly on who raised you and where you came from."
With those last words, he exits the room and leaves us, walking right past Brian. Brian watches him leave and turn the corner, then turns back to look at us and begins walking closer.
"What the hell was that about?" he murmurs to us.
"Nothing," Eric answers. "Just go. I'll be there in a minute."
Without another word, Brian leaves us and walks away. When he's gone, Eric reaches for my hand and pulls me closer to him, and he shuts the door. He spins me around so that we're now facing each other, his right hand instantly reaching up to cup the side of my face.
"You okay?" he asks softly.
Embarrassed, I look down to his chest and keep my eyes there. He kisses me on the forehead, letting his lips linger there for a bit.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. Really, I am. And I appreciate him not trying to punch my dad in the face for saying those things about him.
"No, don't be," he replies. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong."
"No, I'm sorry for you having to stand there and hear him say all those things about you. He's never acted like that before. I don't know what came over him."
"Babe, it's fine." He brings me closer to his chest and wraps his arms around me. "Don't worry about me, alright? I can take care of myself."
I sigh as I lean my head against his shoulder, and I close my eyes. Again, the feeling of being held in his arms makes everything better, even when everything feels like it's gone horribly wrong.
"Thank you."
I open my eyes, almost unsure if I heard him correctly or not. I look up at him and ask, "For what?"
For a moment, he just stares into my eyes.
"For trying to defend me with your dad. You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah, well... I didn't think it was fair of him to just come in here and say all those things to us when he doesn't even know our situation."
"Yeah, but... all those things he said about me were right. I couldn't really argue with him about any of it. That's the only reason why I didn't move you out of harm's way and punch him in the face."
I chuckle lightly, but I know he's serious. "Well, thank you for not doing that, because that would've just made things a lot worse."
"I know."
I smile up at him, at least thankful for him being here in this moment.
"Hey," I say. "For the record... you're not scum. You're not any of those things he said you were. You and I may have our differences and a lot of unresolved issues, but that's our business. Our situation's not for anyone else to judge."
The corners of his lips curl into a soft smile, and his hand reaches up to cup my face, the pad of his thumb softly caressing the skin of my cheek. "I promise, everything's gonna turn out okay. Alright? You and I are gonna be okay again." He kisses my forehead softly, and I close my eyes, letting the moment take over. "I promise."
When I open my eyes again, he takes a small step back. "I have to leave now," he says. "You gonna be okay here until I come back?"
I give a small nod and let go of him. "Yeah. Just try to hurry back, okay? And if my dad tries to speak with you again, just ignore him, and try not to hit him."
He gives a small smile before planting one last kiss to my forehead. "Okay."
He opens the door and pulls his keys back out from his pocket so that he can lock it once he shuts it. He walks out and grabs the handle to the door, but before he closes it, he just stands there, looking at me.
"I love you."
My heart sinks heavily in my chest from hearing those words. It's not just the way he says them; it's the way he looks when he says them—like he's certain that he loves me, but he just thought he'd let me know anyway, and he's not even expecting for me to say the words back to him.
He closes the door, and from the outside, I can hear him lock it.
°°°°°
Later, a knock on the door startles me as I'm lying back in the chair. I quickly sit up and stare at the door handle, waiting to see it move, but it doesn't. Eric wouldn't take this long to unlock the door; he would've just opened it by now.
Who the hell is it?
There's a sound of the door handle lightly jiggling, but it doesn't open. Then there's a harder knock. "Natalie? You in there?"
I gasp, not sure if it's the familiar deep voice that I think it is. I get up off the chair and quietly step over to the door, almost tiptoeing.
Another knock. "Natalie?"
"Four?"
"Hey, are you okay in there? Why's the door locked? Open it."
"I— I can't. Eric locked me in here so that I wouldn't get into another fight with Hunter. He said he'd be back to get me as soon as his leadership meeting is over."
"He locked you in there?" I can hear the surprise in his voice. "Natalie, don't you have my set of keys with you?"
I look down at myself and realize that I do, in fact, still have his keys with me. They're in my pocket. I never returned them back to him earlier.
"Do you have them?" Four asks from outside the door.
"Yeah," I answer loudly, pulling them out from my front pocket.
"Unlock the door, then. It's just me."
"Which key is it?" I ask. There's at least six or seven on the keychain.
"It should be the smallest one. It's a rusted gold color."
I unlock the door with the key he described, then open it for him.
"Are you okay?" he asks, worried from the looks of it. He glances down at my body and then looks back up at my face.
"I'm fine," I say. "Really."
"I saw you on security footage coming in here with Eric, but never saw you coming back out."
"Yeah, I know. He just came in here to talk to me really quick before he had to go to his meeting."
I hand him back his keys, but he closes the door shut. "Did he ask you about your simulations?" he asks.
I shake my head. "No. No, we didn't even talk about that."
"Did that Erudite man come in here? I saw him turn down this way on footage, but the camera frame cuts off a few feet before the door."
"Oh, um, yeah, that... That was my dad, actually."
His eyebrows slightly raise. "He was in here with you and Eric? Why?"
"Uh, it's... a long story. A long... embarrassing... humiliating story. Basically, my dad hates Eric's guts and has never been more disappointed in me. So... Yeah."
"Well... that sounds like it could've gone better." He glances around the room as if he's looking to spot something. "So you've just be waiting in here, doing nothing?"
"Mm, yeah, pretty much. Eric said he'd come back for me as soon as their meeting was over. He was worried that Hunter and I would get into another fight, so he suggested I stay here where no one could get to me."
Four looks at me with his eyebrows slightly scrunched together. "You don't find it kind of weird that he locked you in here, though?"
"Well... no. He didn't do it to keep me locked up in a bad way. He just... wanted to make sure that I was safe while he wasn't going to be around."
Four gives me a look, like he's not sure whether to believe it.
"Really," I say. "He even suggested that I go stay up in his apartment for the meantime, but I told him 'no', that I'd just wait in here. Trust me, the situation isn't as odd as it looks. I promise."
He remains quiet for a bit until he finally speaks. "Okay, but you don't have to wait in here if you don't want to."
"Well, where else would I go?"
He shrugs his shoulders and walks over to open the door. "Wherever you want. It's your choice."
"Yeah, but... Eric told me to stay here so that I'd be safe."
His eyes stay on me as he steps out of the room. "Well, I could stay with you if you want, until Eric's finished with his meeting."
"You?" I ask with my brows raised.
"Yeah. You'll be safe with me. We could even stay close by here if you want."
I look at him, mentally debating if that's a good idea or not.
"You could always stay here," he says. "Alone. Waiting who knows how much longer for Eric to come and tell you that you're allowed to leave."
Geez, Four. Don't put it like that.
"Ugh... Okay, fine. But we'll just stay close by."
°°°
The water down below on the left side of the chasm is calm. As I lean carefully over the railing, I bite down on the corner of my lip, nervously thinking about Eric walking back into the fear simulation room, discovering that I'm not there at all.
"Stop looking so guilty," says Four, leaning over the railing from right beside me. "You're not doing anything wrong."
"Well, then why do I feel like I am?"
"You're not. You don't have to follow every order that he gives you, you know? Not when it doesn't relate to initiation."
"I wasn't following an order, Four. He didn't 'order' me to do anything. He was just trying to keep me safe."
"I thought you heard me when I warned you to be careful about him a few weeks ago," he says quietly, "As long as he's a leader, you're not safe around him."
"I did hear you, and I am being careful around him. I was doing fine these past three weeks when he wasn't bothering me, but now he's back, and I don't think he plans on staying away from me any longer."
Four sighs, looking down to the water. "Look, Natalie, you've been doing great with your fear simulations these past few weeks, but... something tells me that Erudite being here isn't a good thing."
Oh, trust me, I feel the same way.
"They're going to be here again next week on the day of your guys' final," he continues quietly. "They'll be watching your fears along with the Dauntless leaders, but at least then, everyone will be aware that simulations they're in aren't real."
"Wait, Eric's going to be there to see my simulations, too?"
He nods. "Yeah. He'll also be able to hear them."
I begin to mentally freak out. Eric's going to be able to see and hear what goes on in my fear simulations? What if I have the fear with him kissing that girl in front of me in his bedroom again? And it won't be just him there to watch it, but the rest of the Dauntless leaders as well, along with whoever's there from Erudite. What if my dad is there to watch it? I don't want him to see that. I don't want any of them seeing that!
"What's Erudite doing here, anyway?" Four asks.
"I don't know."
"Well, I saw Jeanine taking to you on the camera footage."
I turn to look at him. "Yeah, so?"
"So, what did she say to you?"
I stare at him, wondering why he's so interested. "Nothing. She just recognized me. She knows me from Erudite. My dad works closely with her."
"What were the Dauntless leaders saying?"
Again, I wonder why he's so interested. "Well, she just asked me how I was doing with initiation. Brian told her I'm ranked second. Eric just told them he was taking me to the simulation room, so that we could get out of there."
"Jeanine didn't say why she was here?"
"I told you, for some meeting, I guess." I turn so that I'm facing him completely and ask, "Why are you so interested?"
"I just... find it a little strange that only Erudite is here to have a meeting with Dauntless leadership and none of the other faction leaders or representatives. Don't you?"
"Are you saying that you think they're here to discuss Divergents?" I ask quietly.
"I hope not, but why else would they be here?"
"I don't know... To talk about next week's initiation final?"
"Yeah... But think about it. What would Jeanine's reason even be to want to be present for your guys' finals? Why does she think she has the right to watch the twelve of you go through your worst fears?"
I think about it. The answer is obvious. "She... wants to make sure that none of us are Divergent," I say in almost a whisper.
"Exactly. She did the same thing last year. Before, it used to just be the instructors who watched your final fear landscapes. Then the Dauntless leaders began watching them. And last year, Erudite came here to watch. They're getting more involved with Dauntless than they ever have before."
"Okay... So why are you telling me?"
He glances around to make sure no one else is present. "Our older leader, Henry—I think he's going to be stepping down from his leadership position soon, and when that happens, they're going to be looking for someone to replace him."
I remain quiet for a bit. Four is a lot smarter than anyone gives him credit for. He knows more of what's going on than he probably should.
"So what are you saying?" I ask. "That you think they're going to want to recruit me?"
"Well, I think Jeanine might think it's a good idea. From what I saw on the cameras, she looked pretty comfortable with you. You said it yourself—she knows you, and she works closely with your dad. You may be ranked in second place right now, but you were ranked first. And you're from Erudite, just like Eric was, so why wouldn't she approve of you? And you say that Eric doesn't seem like he plans on leaving you alone now, so why wouldn't he try to put in a good word you with the leaders? It's the perfect plan to literally keep you by his side all the time."
Oh, Four. We really do underestimate you. All of us.
"So, what? This is just you warning me that leadership and Jeanine have their eyes on me?" Because I kind of already knew that.
"I'm just saying, it's possible that they'll be looking to you when it's time for them to recruit a new leader. Especially if your final rank ends up being first."
"So... then I just don't do too well for the final; it's that simple. I'll make sure to do good enough that I make the top ten, but not good enough to rank first. Or second. They can just end up recruiting someone else for the leadership position. Problem solved."
"Problem solved for you, maybe, but even without you, I'm pretty sure that Erudite and Dauntless will continue to work together and continue getting rid of Divergents."
"So then what the hell are you saying, Four?"
He sighs and looks down to the water. "I don't know. I just... I don't know."
"Look," I say. "Even if they do end up offering me the position, I don't think I want it. Not as long as I'm.... well, you know. I won't be safe. And besides, you're the one who told me to be careful and keep my distance from them."
"Yeah, but that was before I realized that you're the only person who could find out what some of us can't. You're closer to Eric than anyone else has ever gotten, and if he wants you by his side in leadership, that means he'll be willing to share certain things with you—if you ask."
I take a step back from the railing as I look at him with my my brows furrowed. "Wait, are telling me you actually think it's a good idea that I get close to him just to spy on him and get information? That's— Wait..."
I take another step back from him, looking at him in disbelief. He did not just...
"You tricked me," I realize. "This is the whole reason why you suggested that we go somewhere away from the simulation room, isn't it? You wanted to ask me all those questions and find out what I know about all of this—in a place where you knew Eric wouldn't come back and see us talking together!"
"Natalie, calm down, alright? I'm not the bad guy here. They are. Everything I told you is the truth. I didn't lie to you."
I scoff. "Okay, yeah, like that makes it any better. God, Four, you're no different than the rest of them."
"No, I am, actually, because you don't have to worry about your secret with me. I'm not going to hurt you, but you can't say the same for them—"
"Natalie!"
The fine, little hairs on the back of my neck stick up at the frightening sound of Eric's bellow. I look over my shoulder behind me to see him storming up to Four and I from down the hallway, and, boy, does he look angry.
"I should go," says Four. "I'll leave you with the guy who's supposedly going to keep you safe."
I narrow my eyes at him as he walks away in the other direction. Why the hell does he always have to make little comments like that?
"Natalie!" Eric shouts.
I turn around to face him just as he's approaching me. "What?" I ask.
"How the hell did you get out of that room? I thought I told you to stay in there!"
"Would you calm down? Jeez! I'm right here. You don't have to yell."
He lets out a deep breath and steps closer to me, his hands lightly grabbing onto my waist. "I thought I told you to stay in the room where you'd be safe," he says a bit calmer. "How'd you get out of there?"
"Four came knocking on the door. I forgot that I had his keys, so I unlocked the door for him."
"Why the hell did you have his keys?"
"Because he gave them to me so that I could lock up the knives when I was finished with them earlier," I lie.
"And you just left the room with him? Why didn't you stay there like you told me you would?"
"Because I didn't know how long you were gonna be. I didn't want to stay in there all night, waiting forever for you to show up."
He sighs, then forces me to take a step back and lean against the railing, and he holds onto it with his hands on either side of me, boxing me in. "I wasn't going to be all night," he says while resting his forehead against mine. "I told you I'd come back for you as soon as the meeting was over."
I lean back from him a bit and look around, nervous that people might see us together. "Eric, someone might see us."
"So?"
"So it's bad enough that, thanks to Hunter, every other initiate already thinks I'm only ranked second because I'm sleeping with you."
"Babe, you know that's not true, alright? You've earned your spot. He's just pissed because he fell down more than a few spots in the ranks. Look, I'll take care of him tomorrow, alright? Right now, let's go eat dinner, then go back to my place."
I remain quiet for a moment and just stare at him. Despite everything, I still don't feel like it's a good idea to go back to his apartment with him. I don't want to fall back under that spell of his and just forget about everything that's going on.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"Nothing. I just..." I trail off and let out a heavy sigh. "I just have a lot on my mind, okay?"
I turn around and lean my arms on the railing as I slouch over and look down at the water. I hate that Four left me with more on my mind to deal with than before. It's like the cycle of stress and worry never freaking ends.
"Did my dad say anything else to you?" I ask Eric while staring down at the calm water.
He comes next to me, and his hands lightly grip onto the railing. "No. He was mostly quiet in the meeting. I think he pretty much said what he needed to say to me back in the simulation room."
"Yeah... And there's another person who knows our business now," I mutter.
"Well, you can blame your sister for that. She's the one who opened her big mouth. "
I can feel my jaw quickly tensing up along with the rest of my body. "No. Technically, it's your fault. You're the one who cheated. If you hadn't, I would've never had a reason to run away and go back to Erudite in the first place."
Without looking at him, I can hear him sigh from beside me. "So we're back to that now?"
"Honestly, Eric, I never forgot about it. Maybe you have, okay, but I haven't. That's not just something you can sweep under the rug and pretend never happened."
"I didn't— Dammit, Natalie. I didn't forget about it either, okay? Trust me, I know what I did, because I've been living with the consequences of it for the past month. You think I like being away from you and not seeing or talking to you every day? No. But all I can do is suck it up and deal with it, because I'm the one who ruined everything between us. Just like you said, it's my fault."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I say, feeling my eyes threaten with tears and several pangs in my chest. I've been so damn strong these past few weeks, and I haven't cried once. I don't want to break down after all this time just because I'm remembering all that has happened between us.
Eric sighs heavily this time, running his hand over his face. "What do you want to talk about then?" he asks calmly. "It could be anything. I don't care. Just talk to me."
I let there be silence between us for a little while. I hate asking him what my mind is now itching to find out because of Four, but I want to know the answer for myself.
"What was your meeting about?" I ask calmly, hoping that he'll tell me. "Why was Jeanine here?"
I turn to look at him, waiting for him to reply.
"Well...," he begins. "I can't tell you everything, but... you kind of came up as an interesting topic."
"Me?"
He nods. "Yeah."
"What about me?"
He lets out a small sigh. "All of us Dauntless leaders can pretty much agree on who we want to be our next leader once Henry steps down; you. And... Jeanine's on board with it, too. She likes you."
If course she's on board with it; this has been her plan all along.
"The only thing is, they'd like to see you ranked first, not second. And... Well, Max is kind of unsure about you because he thinks you're a bit of a loose cannon. He says he'd like to see you be a little more restrained, since you tend to get in more fights than any other initiate has so far. But other than that, Drea, Brian, and I all said we approve of you, and Henry said you seem like you'll do well as a leader. He said that you only have five fears so far, which Jeanine seemed really impressed by."
My heartbeat quickens from hearing his last sentence. "How... How did he know I only have five fears?"
"He looks over everyone's, I guess. You have the least out of all the initiates."
I gulp nervously, wondering if they discussed my fears in any further detail. "Did he say what my fears were?"
He shakes his head. "Jeanine asked, but he just said they're pretty common and simple. He told her she'd see for herself next week when she's here the final."
"Why's she even gonna be here for that, though? I mean, it's bad enough that you Dauntless leaders are going to be watching our fears. Why does Erudite have to be here, too? This isn't their faction."
He sighs and looks down to the water. "There's... a lot... that I wish I could tell you right now. But I can't tell you much of anything until until you rank first and accept the leadership offer. Once you do that, I'll be able to explain a lot more."
I look away and shake my head. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, Four was right. Leadership wants me in their inner circle; and I'm the only outside person who can get close enough to find out certain things. But I don't want that responsibility. The only person I have the time and strength to worry about is myself. It's stressful enough just trying to keep myself safe. Why would I join the same dangerous group of leaders who are trying to get rid of people like me? It's insane.
"Why don't you look happy about this?" Eric asks. He steps behind me and begins snaking his arms around the front of my waist. "I just told you that we're offering you the next leadership position. Well, if you rank first."
I pull his hands off of me and move his arms away. "No," I say firmly, and I turn around to face him. "Find someone else for the job, okay? I don't want it."
He looks at me like I've just gone crazy. "What— What do you mean, you don't want it? Of course you want it. You'd be crazy to turn down that offer."
"No," I say louder, "I am telling you, I don't want it!"
"Is this because of your dad? Or Hunter?"
"No, for a million reasons, Eric. I don't want the leadership job! And why would I? So that everyone can think it was only offered to me because I'm sleeping with a leader?"
"That's no why we want you—"
"No, that's exactly why! And all those people would be right. I probably wouldn't even be considered for the job if I wasn't involved with you. That is the only reason why they're willing to let me join leadership—because of you!"
"And why is that such a bad thing? Being a leader would be good for you. Hell, do you know how many people would kill to be offered a position like this? You should be thankful."
"Well, sorry I'm not. And if so many people would kill for this job, you go ahead and give it to one of them, because I don't want it. I don't care about having power or having people fear me. All I want is to be left alone and unbothered."
"Is that what you think, that all we care about is having power and being feared by people?"
"It doesn't even matter, Eric, because I don't want anything to do with you guys! Take your offer and give it to someone else. Really. I will be happy with any other job I get."
A small group of Dauntless members come walking in our direction from the hallway, and Eric stands beside me to let them pass by. I sigh heavily as I turn back around and look down at the water, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I feel bad for snapping at him like that, but he needs to know that I don't want anything to do with that leadership position. I don't.
"Is this about us?" Eric asks once we're alone again. "Is this about not wanting to be around me, or having people thinking you didn't get this job all on your own?"
I stay quiet and just stare down at the calm water for several seconds.
"Look, I'm not gonna change my mind about this, okay? I'm sorry. Just... Go tell Max that I don't want the job. Tell him he was right about me, that I'm too much of a loose cannon. He can find a much better person for the job than me."
He looks at me like he doesn't want to believe me, but I can tell he knows I'm serious.
"Really," I say. "Right now, I just want to be alone, okay? So you should just go tell him."
I look back down at the water and wait for him to leave. When he finally does, he does so without a single word. I don't look up to watch him leave or walk away; I just stare down at the water, thinking about what's to come next for me.
There's only one more week left of initiation. All I need to do is get through one more week. I just need to keep my head down and not cause any more attention to myself. Once initiation is over, I can begin the next chapter of my life: I can start to live a life as a simple Dauntless member.
I feel Eric's heavy footsteps approach the bridge I'm standing on once again and stop, and I sigh, wondering what he's going to try to say to get me to change my mind.
"Eric," I say without looking up at him, "I already told you, I don't want the job, okay? Just tell Max whatever you have to."
"A leadership job? Wow, I guess you really did sleep your way up to the top."
My body freezes at the sound of his cold voice. That's not Eric.
I quickly look up and to the left, but my face gets struck by something cold and hard, and I fall down hard on the metal bridge.
"Do it, now!" Hunter shouts.
My left cheek bone throbs with so much pain that I can barely see out of that eye. I feel my body being dragged on the cold, metal bridge, but just as I kick my foot up at the girl, I feel a kick to my ribs. I groan as I feel another, and another, and I let out a sharp cry as I feel the last brutal kick in the same injured spot.
"Guess your boyfriend's not here to save you now, bitch."
With those last words, I feel myself being forcefully rolled towards the outer edge of the bridge. I want to scream again but I can't; the pain is too much. I'm helpless. This is it. They're going to kill me. This is how my life is going to end.
"Now!"
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:o) That OMG moment! :o)
Super long chapter! & So much happened! What were your guys' thoughts?
Did anyone get heart palpitations at any time? Lol (Just wondering)
I'll be working on the next chapter for the next few days.
To be continued...
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