Chapter Two
its very funny how my mom always say to me i can't wait until you have kids so i can put them on my taxes i'm looking like lady i think not i don't know why people do the things they do you not want to see me happy? shit i want to be happy can i ask you God why? why can't just be happy for a change.
hell i smile and act like everything in my life is gravy when it's not i feel so dead inside i just don't know what to do . i need love, hugs, kisses anything. but i can never get that because to me guys only look at me for my looks and sex. when i was a teenager guys never looked at me in a way that they want to fuck me or thinking i'm so sexy, gorgeous or beautiful i was the ugly girl to them. its funny how things change and how i could've easily got a boyfriend when i was a teenager.
A lot of people think i change and my looks and appearance has change , i think i still look like myself . but i know my ways has changed and i start telling people no and always speak my mind "sometimes" lol i'm the type of person who dont give a shit about someone feelings because they don't give a shit about mines because they always hurting me in the end that's why i have trust issues. But i'm also the type of girl who dont like hurting people's feeling i tend to keep my opinions to myself if only people knew i could hurt their feelings so bad.
I like to say i'm waiting on God to send me someone i wish god could give me a sign on how many more years i have to wait for my guy? i want a guy who's into the things i'm into and who's also funny i'm not into a guy who drinks or smoke but you know it's hard to find a guy who doesn't do those things.
-God Give Me A Sign