Chapter 15
THEA TEXTED ME, inviting me for a lunch with her. I arrived at the restaurant five minutes late because our professor dismissed us late due of the accident that happened in the laboratory when my seat mate inadvertently splashed my class mate's eyes with sodium hydroxide, a strong base. The professor gave us a lecture with a glaring fire in her eyes. As a result: late dismissal.
I searched around the restaurant and I found Thea in a corner. But wait, she was with someone... She was with Darryl. Were they two dating?
Darryl saw me before Thea did and he beckoned me at their table. The space on Thea's side was occupied with their bags so I ended up sitting beside Darryl. I tried not to burn my face.
"You're blushing." Thea muttered, leaning her head towards me as she slid the menu.
"No, it's just that I was hurrying." I lied, making myself sound believable.
"Whatever." She said, and I pushed a lopsided smile.
Darryl was a talkative person, a complete opposite of Greg. I found out lately that his surname was Kongyingyong. His father was a Chinese migrant in Thailand and he had a younger sister whose name was Patricia. He lived in a condominium alone near Thea's place. Darryl's Chinese face reminded me of Sean. I wondered where he was now. Sean had been always a good friend and I didn't know what quarrel he had with Greg that he had to move away.
"I bet you are really drunk last night." Darryl said, "I had to lift you up and lay you at the bed."
I felt my cheeks burning again so I kept my eyes averted like chewing was something I could busy myself with. So he was the one who transferred me to bed... I didn't know what I ought to say in response, "I think that was the case." I said, covering my grin through a gulp of juice. "I'm not used to drinking beer and cocktail. I mostly drink liquors with low alcohol content." I said, pushing a smile, in case he noticed it. "By the way, thank you."
"You don't weigh much. It's ok." He replied, showing his teeth with braces. He became ten times cuter when he did it. I did not know how he made it, but he was the only buzz-headed person that I met whose charisma was like of puppies.
"I should consider eating more." I said and he laughed.
"I saw your abs and it's incredible. Just keep on the diet you are having." I had been doing some crunches and weight-lifting lately, because I thought that it was necessary and maybe Greg would be more attracted to me if I had a toned body.
When the desserts were served, I was already full so I gave mine to Thea, but she rejected it saying she was already full, too. Darryl got it from my hand without waiting me to give it to him. I smiled and shook my head. He was a little childish and that made his action less offensive. He actually looked handsome.
"What?" He peeked through the bowl of ice cream and gave me that cutest smile again. "Don't stare at me like that." And then he went back in emptying the bowl.
The next evening, Saturday and there was nothing I could hear but the drops of the rain dripping off the roof and the thunderstorms. It was the first rain in this year, probably signing the end of winter and start of spring.
Luckily, I was done with all my before-bed routines before the electricity supply was cut. Ok, this was totally creepy. I hid myself under the comforter.
Jeez, I looked at my door and I left it open. Close it! Close it! My mind yelled so I tiptoed towards the door and forcefully pushed it. And then banged with it was a thunder that made me jump high, literally high I was inch away from the ceiling.
***
Greg was coming today. I sat at the front of my study table and searched the web for whatever good recipe I might find there. At last, I ended up making a baked Mac which I believe, was Greg's favorite (he never told me that, though. I just often saw him buying instant baked Mac.)
Not a several hours ago, a knock came from my door. I opened, of course, but not expecting it to be Darryl and Thea carrying a box.
"Hey, Nic." They greeted with a smile.
I stared down on what they were carrying "What's in those boxes, guys?" I asked, curious.
"Maybe we can come inside first for a moment?"
"Oh, yes." I chuckled at my lack of hospitability.
"Here are books," Thea explained, sitting at the sofa. "Secondhand books, actually, that our fellow pharmacy students have used. They are selling it at low price. Maybe you want to check if you need any of these? There is Anatomy book here which we will be needing next semester."
I checked the box that contained books and I was able to get three books that all in all cost twenty bucks.
"Have you rounded all the corners of the dormitory asking freshmen students for these?" I asked as I hand Thea the money.
"Almost. Just drop by here for some rest."
"You need anything? Foods? I got a cake in the refrigerator."
"Sure," Darryl answered and Thea giggled first before nodding.
I went to the kitchen and got the cake out of the fridge together with a jug of orange juice. When I came back, a handsome man in a three-fourth folded black leather jacket was standing at the door. Greg. I smiled at the sight of him but I made myself sure that I placed the serving tray at the table where Thea and Darryl were already sitting before I ran. Or I didn't know if I was running but it was fast to be a walk.
I hugged him and he kissed me long enough for whomever those busy people behind me to see. I knew Greg was aware that it was not just me in here, because he nodded at them after and he even greeted Thea. Why I was not afraid? Why did I dare to do whatever I just did?
"Hey, Greg. How's your dad?" Thea asked.
"He is recovering now." Greg replied with a smile and Thea went back to finishing her food.
I kissed Greg once more. "Do you want to take a rest first?" I said, taking off his backpack and then his jacket.
"That's for sure."
I excused myself to Thea and Darryl and escorted Greg to his room.
"You guys look sweet. So are you planning to get your relationship out of the box?" Thea interrogated when I got back, chewing the last bite of cake.
"We have not talked about it yet, but hope that to be soon." I said, pushing a smile as I cleaned the table.
"I thought you were single." Darryl broke in. Fear suddenly rushed in me as I remembered his connection to my church mates. Should I kneel down now and beg him to keep it from them?
"Well now, you know him more." Thea answered and I just snagged a wry smile, blaming my emotion for my regrets.
I shook Greg vigorously but his eyes were still closed. It was impossible, he was faking it. Geez, that fact brought me back to memory of Lance, the day when we did what we should had not done.
"I made a Baked Mac for you. You better get up there, sleepy head." I leaned down, giving him a peck on his temple.
"I'm sleeping. I cannot hear you." I looked back to Greg whose eyes were still closed but he was smiling. "I missed you." He added and then he grabbed me by my arm making me fall on the bed, and now my whole body was against his. He lifted his head up reaching my lips. "I love you."
"OK, I love you too. But I am hungry, so we better get going and have dinner first. We can do this later." I said as I stood and made his bed.
"We can't do that when we are full, can we?"
"You, sure, can."
He pulled a lopsided smile "No," And before I could ditch, he pulled me again to the bed, but this time he moved quickly to dominate me over, and making the newly-set bed a mess again. His hands were locked on my wrist being pushed down to mattress. "Don't you miss me?" He asked before he ran his nose from my collar bone up to the back of my ear, "From shower?" he asked, "You must have been expecting this to happen." Then he chuckled right there at the back of my ear. His voice was rock but romantic.
"I get you. But... Greg, I don't feel like doing it now." I said while he continued kissing me on my neck. Greg did not mutter another word and he just kept on doing what he had in his mind. I tried to play dead, expecting that his orgasm would evaporate soon but it didn't. So what happened happened. Our first sex.
Greg indubitably played wild but passionate. I felt like he drained the every strength left in me after we'd done it. Though his was a half-inch smaller compared to Lance, his performance was out of this world.
"That was intense. Let's eat your Baked Mac now." Greg muttered when he had already caught his breath. I stared at him blankly, noting the pain in my buttocks. "Would you want me to carry you there?" He mocked.
***
Days passed and Greg and I were talking about the coming out of our relationship. It seemed that he got keener to announce it after we had our first sex. Our feelings and the way we treated one another were more exquisite. It felt like we shared a deep connection that it's just us who could understand. We felt more comfortable with one another and we felt more in love.
"I am just waiting for you. I want it to be a mutual decision." He said before he had a long gulped of water. I followed him here at the gym after my class.
I contemplated about it. Months had passed since this relationship started and the number of people who knew it seemed to be growing also. I was fearful every time there was someone that was added to the list of people who knew about Greg and me. But then lately, things felt changing. It was like I was gaining confidence and learning to control fear.
"If you are ready, then I think I am, too."
He looked at me in the eyes before he held my chin and guided my lips to his. "To be honest, I am surprised to hear that."
I smiled and didn't say anything. I couldn't believe also that we were close to what Greg wanted. I told myself before that it would be OK for me to just hide our relationship and not to display anything in public. I was pretty good in acting. I thought maybe we could disguise as close friends and tell people that we were just really close friends. I was willing to do that. That was my resort. We could deny and deny and people would believe what we would say because that was what we would be feeding them.
I was so sure that was that easy until Gavril told me that people from school were becoming aware of our intimate closeness—that made me reconsider things. Where could my cowardice bring our relationship? Nowhere.
After Greg's basketball practice at the gym, he invited me to go to the open field, aka, Sucrose Factory. It was three in the afternoon and there were plenty of people scattered all through the entire field. There were both college and high school students which I could easily sort because high school students wore uniform while those who are in college didn't.
We set our blanket under a tree, isolated from other picnickers here. Mostly, there were high school students near to us since the field was near their building when ours was five minutes away. This was Greg's idea and I kind of refused to it, but somehow I managed to get used to it—used to people staring at us. Some even laughed, though I was uncertain if we were their laughingstock. Some threw us a sharp look. And worst was when a boy shouted 'faggots' one time when we were buying clothes in a mall. They did not even have an assurance whether we were couple or gays or what. But then I realized that they didn't need assurance. We were too close and affectionate to be just friends.
We were at the Sucrose Factory. Loners, singles and friends who were hanging out by-twos have no place here or else you would be tagged as lovers, just as how these people passing by tagged us in their mind and glaring to us with curiosity and repugnance.
Well, we were real-life lovers—patriot of the forbidden love. We were silently whispering it to the world around us and they did not welcome it. They closed their ears and kept their eyes sharp. Their mouths were full of unjust judgment. People believed what they wanted to and it would be like that. People believed what they wanted to.
"Still thinking of them?" Greg snapped, waving off whatever I had in my mind. "They don't know about us and we did not come here for them."
"Sorry. I wish I could be as brave as you. Sorry, I am being foolish about this whole thing." I said, feeling little for myself.
"Don't mind it. Here, take a bite." He said, feeding me the ill-looking sandwich. "Happy three months."
"This is the reason why you always want me to make sandwiches for you. Goodness, Greg! It's just a sandwich. How come it tastes awful?" I said, laughing.
"Does it?" He took bite, "Oh, man." His face crumpled, looking disgusted. "I don't know. It doesn't taste like a sandwich. Sorry." He ended up laughing at his poor sandwich.
"Here, I brought a dim sum. Shumai and Siopao" "You did not make this, did you?"
"How dare you to say that?" I said, glaring at him. "YouTube videos and the Asian Mart made it possible."
"Tastes great." Greg complimented, "Can you make me some of these again next time?"
"For you, my love, I will." I said and Greg chuckled. It died quickly.
Seconds passed and we were just scanning each other's face like we were searching for our physical distinctions until he closed the distance between us and let our lips touched.
Surely, everyone saw it with the strong lights from the post trying to fight the darkness of the field. Some might probably be taking pictures of us now. I sensed Greg's bravery radiating to me by taking this risk. He was known by almost everyone and now, amidst straight couples dating in this sucrose factory, was Gregory Rivera; a kin of this school's founder was kissing me. The kiss was taking long and I would wait for him to pull back, and while we were still savoring the moment, I tried to kiss him harder. This was the least I could do to make him feel my little bravery—that love overpowered fear. Nothing could hold me back. Not anymore.
"That's a long kiss" I said, our foreheads remained in contact. "I wish everyone saw it."
"Look around us." Greg turned his eyes and I followed its direction. We were lost for a moment and when we were aware again of our surrounding, people were glaring at us—their eyes questioning, perplexed.
But I shook it off. I was happy and I didn't care about what people would tell us. I was tired of caring about what others think. My happiness would never be obliterated by the public anymore. If Greg was doing it for me why couldn't I be fearless and tell the world that I was in love with this person. Whatever that strong rope of fear that was holding me must be cut off. I needed to be free.
Love must be freed.
I burrowed my head on Greg's chest and he gently held me. We remained on that pose for minutes and there were more eyes now. But it was not for them.
"I am blessed because I am loved by you." I whispered.
This was true love.