Olivia Horan
"Good morning." Niall brought me a cup of coffee in bed.
"Thank you." I took it from him and leaned over to kiss him. Suddenly my stomach churned and I felt sick.
I set the mug down and ran to the bathroom to puke. I'm ready for this stage of the pregnancy to be over.
"Didn't know I was that repulsive," Niall joked. "I'll go brush my teeth."
"Sometimes coffee sounds amazing and sometimes even the smell is disgusting. It's weird."
I got cleaned up and climbed back into bed. It's a Saturday morning and we have nowhere to be. It won't be long before the tour starts this summer so I'm really trying to enjoy days like this.
Niall laid his body next to mine and started tracing his fingers over my small bump of a belly.
"How big is the baby this week?"
"I'll check." I pulled my phone out and opened the app. "Sixteen weeks. Your baby is now the size of an avocado," I read. "He or she can make a fist and even suck his or her thumb."
"Sick!" He sounds so excited every week when I tell him and I love it. "Hello you little avocado," he said to the bump.
He pulled my shirt up and gently traced his fingers over my stomach.
"Sorry you have to do all the shitty parts."
"I don't just do all the shitty parts, I do all the parts," I told him.
"Valid. Except you needed me at the beginning there!" He laughed at himself. "But seriously, I'm sorry you have to puke and stuff. That sucks."
"It's okay. It will all be worth it."
He let out a sigh and laid on his back, hands behind his head.
"We should try that new Chinese place tonight," he started saying.
"Niall!" I practically yelled.
"Or not. Sorry, bad idea."
"No, not that! The baby!" I couldn't make words fast enough so I took his hand and laid it on my belly. "The baby is moving."
"No way," he said in awe. He left his hand right there as the little avocado sized bundle moved around. "That's so cool."
"I know. It's incredible."
"I'm so excited to do this with you. You're going to be an amazing mum." He leaned in towards me, one hand still on the baby, and kissed me.
...
"Your boobs are huge."
"Niall," I said as I rolled my eyes.
"No, they're seriously massive."
"Well maybe you can wait till we're not in public to tell me that."
He shrugged. "I just noticed."
We're out at dinner. Right now we're in Philadelphia for the tour. They have a show tomorrow. Fans aren't crazy mobbing us. It's honestly gotten easier and more calm over the years, probably just because the fan base is growing up and mellowing out. I mean there are still fans outside but it's not unmanageable.
"Guess what?"
"What?" He put a forkful of food in his mouth.
"I checked the app. The baby is the size of a, drumroll please...papaya!"
"Sick!" He basically says that every week when I check the new size. You would think we were talking about literally anything but a baby. But his excitement is really fun. He's been so sweet to me these last five months. Not that he isn't always but he's been extra sweet.
The waitress came back over to us. "Any dessert?"
"Actually yeah," I started saying as Niall looked at me funny. "What? I've been craving sweets all day," I defended. The cravings have been very real and very random.
He rolled his eyes. "I think you just say that when you want something."
"I'm sorry, do you want to carry our child instead?"
"So, one slice of chocolate cake?" The waitress awkwardly asked.
"Yes, please." She darted off.
"Be careful," he told me. "Chocolate has caffeine. If you have caffeine the baby has caffeine."
"A piece of cake probably has less caffeine than a cup of tea," I said. Sometimes he's a little too concerned but I guess I shouldn't complain.
"Okay. If you say so," he mumbled.
"Eat the other half for me then."
"Deal."
An hour later, we were all ready for bed. We really have turned kind of boring. But we lived it up in the first few years of marriage, going out every other weekend and traveling all over. Plus, it's not like I can drink right now. The boys weren't doing anything tonight anyway. Usually I still go and I'm just the designated driver because I hate missing parties.
"It says here that it's totally normal for your ankles to be swollen. So don't worry," Niall said. He's finally reading What To Expect When You're Expecting after me bugging him to do it for the last five months.
"I know it's normal and I'm not worried," I told him with as even a tone as I could manage. I'm kind of regretting asking him to read it because he keeps informing me of what he has learned. He finds my cankles pretty amusing.
"It also says that the baby only weighs one pound right now. So that means most of that weight is you."
"Okay that's enough of that," I said as I took the book from his hands and set it on my bedside table.
"Well now what do you want to do?"
"Get you to stop talking," I told him as I started kissing him.
"Okay this is better," he admitted as he pulled me on top of him. It takes more effort than it used to because of the bump between us. We've had to get a little creative.
"I thought so." I pressed my lips to his jaw. At this stage of my pregnancy my libido has never been higher. Practically everything he does turns me on.
He pulled my shirt off. "Shit, Liv, your boobs look amazing."
"Oh my god." Men are so simple.
He pulled away slightly, his breath hot against my lips. "Want me to go down on you?"
A blush spread across my cheeks and it's like I'm twenty again as I nod yes.
...
"Are you getting worried because the tour isn't over?" Sophia asked me. "You look about to pop."
"My due date is two weeks after the last show so I'm praying we can make it home in time. We have a doctor flying home with us just in case something happens on the plane."
It's actually funny the hoops we've had to jump through for me to be with Niall on tour. I've had doctors appointments all over Europe and North America. But it was better than being at home without him during the whole pregnancy.
"Poor timing," she said jokingly.
"I know. We totally didn't plan this. Well we were planning it and then when it didn't happen we stopped planning and that's when it happened," I said, laughing at the situation.
It's good to have Sophia back. She and Liam got back together about a year ago and they got engaged a few months later. I guess she dated a couple other guys and she never felt the same way for any of them as she did for him and Liam kind of went through the same thing. Or as Sophia says, he finally pulled his head out of his ass and realized she was worth settling down for. So that's happening.
...
"Hi guys! This is the North American leg of the tour. We're about forty shows in," Liam was saying to the camera. They're filming a behind the scenes video kind of like a tour diary. "Niall, do you have anything for the camera?"
"San Diego, we're coming for ya!" He's kicking a soccer ball around and giggling at nothing. Not much has changed other than my size.
"Say hi, Harry."
"Hi, Harry!" He waved with a dumb grin.
"Not what I meant," Liam mumbled.
"I'm taking over, Liam." Harry took the camera from him.
"Actually no," Ben Winston said. "You guys are shit at this. I'll follow you around with the camera." Then to just me he mumbled, "I give them one task, a damn simple one, and they can't do it."
"Welcome to our tour!" Harry said with the camera trained on him and a cheesy grin on his face.
The boys wandered around talking about various aspects of the tour. I'm trying to watch the action but stay out of the camera's view. We went outside in the sun and we'll be getting on the bus soon to take us to the hotel. They have a show here tomorrow and they came to see the place and do a rehearsal on the stage.
"Ben, turn that way. Show everyone Liver, please," Harry said.
"No, we don't need to show everyone me," I said as the camera was basically already turned to me. "Hi," I gave in and waved.
"Fun fact about Olivia," Harry said, "she swallowed a basketball."
"You're hilarious," I said with little humor. He makes fun of my size daily. I'm seven months along but I feel like I look further along than that.
"You're sure it's not twins?" Louis asked.
"We're sure," Niall said like the news of twins would send him over the edge.
"Boy or girl?" Liam asked.
"We don't know, we want to be surprised. But enough with this, you're making a tour diary not a baby diary," I said.
"But the baby is the most exciting thing happening on this tour," Harry said as he climbed onto the bus with Ben and the camera following.
"A pregnancy! How scandalous," Liam said with mock excitement.
They've had a lot of fun at my expense over the last seven months. Well I guess just the four that they've been on tour. But some of these jokes you can only laugh at so many times. If I had a dollar for every time Harry asked me if I ate a watermelon seed...
"Here's where the baby was actually conceived," Harry said when he reached the bunks on the bus.
Niall cracked up laughing. "That's not true!" I called out. I hope the camera could hear me.
"Regular comedians, aren't they?" Sophia laughed. "How are you feeling?"
"Pretty good really! Just huge," I told her.
...
"How was the show?" Niall asked me.
"Great as always." We're cuddled up in bed back at our hotel. We're in Baltimore. "Baby was really kicking during the show."
"Oh? He likes his daddy's music."
"Or she," I reminded him. I'm mentally preparing him for either situation.
"I'm nervous about a girl. How do you raise one? They don't play football and wrestle and rough house. That's all my brother and I did growing up."
"You worry too much."
"What are we going to do if it's a girl?"
"Well we're going to love her just the same," I said without much patience.
"Well obviously but you know what I mean."
"Theoretically, just cause she's a girl doesn't mean she won't like playing football with her daddy."
...
Niall Horan
"How are you feeling today?" I asked Liv.
"Pretty good. Just massive."
"I bet." I laughed at her and she glared at me so I mumbled an apology. She really is big though and it's pretty funny to watch her waddle around. "We're getting close."
"I know! A couple more weeks. It can't come soon enough."
"Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"Niall," she smiled at me, "I'm completely fine. You just enjoy the next few days."
We're in Ireland to finish out the tour. We have two more shows in Croke Park and I'm so fucking excited. Even though we've played here before, it's just unreal every time.
"Are you sure?" I asked her. "Are you comfortable? You don't look comfortable."
"Just imagine how I'll look in a couple more weeks then! I'm okay. This is your day." She kissed me. "Don't worry about me."
"Okay."
"Oh! There's more kicking!"
I placed my hand on her stomach and felt the quick movements. "That's a strong kid in there."
"I think you're right."
"Come out, baby! We want to meet you," I said to the bump.
More people came into the room we were in backstage.
"Is it moving?" Liam asked.
"Yeah!"
He looked nervous. "Is it weird if I feel?"
"It's only weird if you don't ask," Liv said. "I don't mind."
Pretty soon all of the boys were crowded around her to feel. It was kind of hilarious.
Mum and the whole family showed up next because of course they're coming to the Dublin shows.
"How's the mummy doing?" Mum asked as she went to hug Liv.
"I'm pretty good," Liv said, smiling at them. "Denise! How are you? You're a couple weeks closer than me."
"Yeah. I should go into labor within a week," she said. She did look slightly more uncomfortable than Olivia.
"What are you doing here?" Liv was in shock.
"I can't just wait around at home for it to happen. She could be a week late!"
"She?"
"Shit," Denise said. "I knew I'd let it slip. We went ahead and found out and it's a girl!"
"Oh that's incredible! Congrats! We're still going to be surprised," Liv said.
"Show Mum the picture," I told Liv. She pulled the sonogram out of her purse. "Liv thinks it's a surprise but I don't need a doctor to tell me that's a boy. Chip off the old block."
"Niall, for the last time, that is the spine," Liv told me.
I shrugged while Mum shushed me.
...
Olivia Horan
The time has come. The very last show of the tour is here. Niall has been giddy all day and it's precious. He's already so hyper but this manages to add to that.
"I'm proud of you," I told him before giving him a kiss. "Have a great show."
"Thanks, honey. I love you."
"I love you too."
"I feel like everything is coming together so perfectly. The tour was awesome and now we're about to have a baby and be parents together. I'm just so happy. You're the best wife in the world."
I started tearing up. My emotions have been insane throughout the pregnancy. "I really, really love you, Niall."
He gave me a tight hug, made difficult by the massive baby bump but we managed, and then he went to get ready to go on stage.
The show was going amazing. They sound incredible and I was having a great time.
I looked over to where Denise was sitting and she was gone again. I know that being pregnant makes you have to pee all the time, I've experienced it, but she has really been leaving a lot.
"You okay?" I asked her during a break between songs.
"Oh yeah, I'm great!"
It was maybe five minutes later when I looked over and she was wincing.
"Are you in labor?"
"No! They're just," she winced again, "little contractions."
"They don't look little! We have to go. Now!"
"No, no, no. They're far apart and this is Niall and the boys' day. I'm feeling fine. See?"
"Okay..."
The next time I saw she was in pain, I wouldn't take no for an answer.
"That was six minutes from the last one. Get your husband. We're going!"
She gave in as the contraction got stronger. "Alright," she said through the pain.
We went to go find the nearest form of transportation.
"I forgot my purse!" I said as I turned to run back in. "Don't wait for me if you find a car!"
...
Niall Horan
Harry was talking to the crowd and I was at the back of the stage getting a drink of water. Liv just left and I'm nervous. I keep checking her seat to see if she has come back.
"You good?" Louis asked.
"Liv just left," I said distractedly as I looked over to where she was sitting.
"Yeah?"
"Well she could be having the baby!"
"Mate, do you really think someone wouldn't come tell you if so?"
"I don't know."
"They would. Enjoy the last few songs. She'll probably be back in two seconds. You're overreacting." He clapped me on the back reassuringly.
"Okay. Yeah, you're right. Okay," I repeated, almost just to reassure myself.
Two songs later and she still wasn't back. I'm worried. We just have the encore left though.
In the minute we get backstage before the encore, I was looking for anyone who could tell me where my wife went. But I didn't have time to really look before Harry was pulling me back towards the stage.
The second the final song ended, I ran off faster than ever.
I grabbed the first crew member. "Where's Liv?"
"Huh?"
He doesn't know anything. I kept walking.
"Paul! Have you seen my wife?"
"She left for the hospital. Did no one tell you?"
"No! Fuck! Is she having the baby now?"
"I just heard talk of a hospital and saw her get in a car."
"Why didn't anyone tell me? I've got to go!"
We ran, probably forgetting things, the boys with me, and we found a ride.
"Take us to the hospital!" I told the driver.
"Which one?"
"Fuck, I don't know! How many are there?"
"At least three fairly close by. Plenty more further away," the driver said.
"God damn it."
Cal knocked on the window, camera still in hand, and the driver rolled it down.
"Niall, I heard Maura say something about going to Saint James."
"Thank you! You're a lifesaver!"
The driver sped off and my heart was pounding. I can't miss it.
We ran in to the maternity ward, blowing past the front desk.
"Sir! Excuse me," a desk attendant called after me.
"Sorry. I need the room number for Horan."
She smiled at me and said, "2443."
"Thank you!"
I barely made sure I was at the right door before barging in.
"Liv?"
"Hi," she said from the corner of the room. Wait. The corner of the room? I looked and it was Denise in the bed.
"Shit." I sighed in relief. "Oh my fucking shit," I muttered. The nurse's eyes were wide at my language.
"Excuse him," Liv said. "Niall, what's wrong?"
"I thought you were in labor. I thought I was missing it!"
"Oh." She put her arm around me and scratched my back. "No, we've still got a couple weeks."
"Wow! Big crowd," the doctor said as she came into the room and started rubbing hand sanitizer in. "We're going to see how dilated you are so I need everyone except Mummy and Daddy to head to the waiting room."
...
Olivia Horan
We've been waiting here for hours. The sun is starting to rise. We napped for awhile but I'm trying to stay awake with the cheap coffee they set out.
"I hope yours doesn't take this long," Niall said.
"Well heads up, it can take over twenty-four hours if your really unlucky."
"Shit." He looked exhausted just thinking about it.
"You don't even have to do anything," I said, not believing he's worried about himself during the birth.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have a very big job. I have to call your parents and pass out cigars."
I laughed and was going to come up with a sassy retort when the nurse came out and asked if we were ready to meet our niece.
We went in the room quietly and cautiously. Denise was holding the little bundle.
"Everyone, meet Emme."
...
We got back to the apartment for the first time after the tour and I sighed the biggest sigh of relief.
"Well Olivia, what do you want to do? We get maybe one more week and then we're never going to be alone again."
"It's terrifying when you say it like that."
"Okay sorry. But we should really enjoy these last few days," he said.
"Did you put the car seat in before we left for the tour like I asked you to?"
"Yes." He didn't sound confident.
"Niall?"
"No," he admitted.
"You have to do that! I could go into labor at any time."
"Okay, okay," he said. "I'll do it. But what do you want to do with our last few days of no responsibilities?"
"Honestly? I want to go out to a nice dinner. We probably won't be able to have a date night for forever once this little one gets here," I said with a hand on my stomach.
"Okay, done! You get ready and I'll go put in the car seat and then we'll go eat at the best restaurant we can think of."
I took a little more care than usual getting ready. I don't exactly have nice clothes that fit right now but I look nice enough. It's strange to think that I might not have a nice night out for awhile. Everything about this is strange. I'm excited to have this baby but I really want to savor this last week or so of just hanging out with Niall.
That night before we went to sleep, Niall had a hand on my belly, idly feeling the baby.
"I love you so much, Liv. I can't wait to do this with you."
I know I've been overly emotional lately but I couldn't help the wetness in my eyes when I told him I love him too.
...
It's the middle of the night, the baby won't stop moving, I can't sleep, and I'm starving. After tossing and turning for awhile, I decided to just get up.
Niall has slept through me moving around which is almost annoying.
I needed food. I went to the pantry and searched for anything that sounded good.
Ten minutes later, I was standing over the stovetop heating some milk in a saucepan. Niall came out of the bedroom.
"Babe, what are you doing? It's three in the morning."
"Making pudding," I said. I sound like an idiot.
He laughed. "Why?"
Oh my god, he looks so incredible in his flannel pajama pants and no shirt. "Why do I have to the be the one busting at the seams?"
"Liv," he tried to comfort me but I kept talking.
"I'm so fat and swollen and I can't sleep and I'm craving a new thing every five minutes and I've been crying at spilled milk. Literally. Yesterday, I dropped my bowl of cereal and starting crying."
"Baby," he said, trying to comfort me. He came towards me. "It's okay. This is all temporary."
"I know," I said. "I know I'm being dumb but I can't help it. The pregnancy is messing with my brain."
"You're not being dumb." His arms wrapped around me.
The embrace was awkward because of the big bump between us but that's also what made it so perfect. I let him comfort me. Then the smell of scorched milk hit me and remembered I had the pudding on the stovetop.
I tried to fight it but I started tearing up. "I ruined it."
"Okay, this is crazy. Get in the car," Niall said.
"Huh?"
"Get in the car." He turned off the stove and grabbed his keys.
"Why?"
"Because you want pudding so we're going to get you some. Now put on some shoes and I'll meet you in the car."
"Okay," I mumbled, wiping the tears from my face. I confusedly waddled to the passenger seat of the car.
Niall came back out with a sweatshirt on and he started driving.
"What are we doing? This is ridiculous. I'm sorry. Let's just go home."
"No." He pulled into a 24-hour convenience store. "Stay here."
Twenty minutes later, we had driven away from the city out to where there is actual greenery. It was still the middle of the night and stars were visible. We parked the car, opened the sunroof, and leaned our seats back to look at the stars.
"Here," Niall said as he handed me a chocolate pudding cup and a spoon. "Better?"
I nodded but my eyes are teary.
"Liv, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"I'm just scared," I admitted. "Everything is changing forever. What if we aren't ready for this?" My eyes lowered, meeting the massive bump.
"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay." He started to pull me towards him but then realized that wouldn't work so he climbed over the center console to me. "Not as much room here as there used to be," he said, laughing as he settled in my seat with me, holding me. "We will be just fine. You'll be an amazing mum. Everything will be different but it will be better. We're ready."
He sat behind me and his arms were wrapped around my shoulders because they can't fit around my waist anymore. Well I don't exactly have a waist.
"How do you know we're ready?" I asked.
"You always tell me everything happens when it's supposed to happen." He kissed the side of my head and squeezed me tighter. "We're ready," he repeated.
"I love you so much."
We watched the sun rise from our spot outside the city. At some point I finally fell asleep and he drove us home.
...
"Niall!" I grabbed his arm, trying to wake him. It was a couple nights later.
"Hm," he groaned.
"Wake up! My water broke!"
"Huh?" He opened his eyes a bit.
"My water broke! I'm going into labor."
"Oh my god, I thought I peed the bed," he said as he groggily started laughing. He still looks mostly asleep.
"Niall, the baby is coming!"
"Oh shit, your water broke!" It clicked for him and he sprang into action.
He ran around the room, searching for the bag we had packed. I couldn't take time to laugh at how frantic he looked though because it suddenly felt like someone was squeezing my uterus.
"Ow!" I winced as the contraction ran it's course. "Mother fuck!"
"I know it's bad when you start throwing out f-bombs."
We got all dressed and ready and went to the car. As I was climbing in the car another contraction hit and I doubled over in pain.
"Come on," Niall said as he helped me in. "You've got this."
"How far apart are they?"
"Oh shit, I'm supposed to be timing."
He sped to the hospital. It was about five in the morning when he was helping me walk in while I was dealing with another contraction.
They put me in a room and got me settled while Niall paced around the whole room nervously. He was getting in the nurses' way.
"Dad, why don't you go get your wife some ice chips," Doctor Ewing suggested.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I can do that." He left.
"The dads are like children. You give them a task, make them feel helpful, and get them out of your way," she joked. "You're only at about three centimeters so it could be awhile. We'll start pushing at ten."
My head fell back in exasperation. I don't want to wait any longer.
...
"Has it been a long time? I feel like it's been a long time."
"Don't stress, babe," Niall said, gently running his fingers through my hair. Normally I would be grateful for his caressing, but I can barely notice it over my pain.
"I'm about to push a human out of my body. I literally can't do anything but stress."
Niall started to reply, but then I was hit with another huge contraction. Each one felt bigger than the last. I grabbed his hand tightly and winced through the pain as his other hand rubbed my back.
Doctor Ewing came back in. "Looks like a big one. How are you feeling?"
"Uncomfortable."
"I'm going to check your cervix and see how you're progressing," she said as she pulled a pair of gloves on with a snap. Niall flinched at the snap which managed to get a laugh out of me.
The doctor reached her hand up to check me and I felt sharp pain. Both of my hands gripped one of Niall's fiercely as I winced at the feeling. It fucking hurt.
"What are you doing up there?" Niall asked with a nervous chuckle.
She ignored him. "Good news. You're at six centimeters."
"I was hoping for more."
"Well it's a good thing because any more and we wouldn't have time for an epidural. Are you still planning on one?"
"Oh my god, yes."
"Yes," Niall said eagerly at the same time as me.
I gave him a look that said, "Am I bothering you?"
The doctor left to go prep everything for the procedure.
"Liv, I just hate seeing you in pain. When there's medicine to help, why wouldn't you take it?"
"I know," I mumbled. "Trust me, I never once considered not taking it. What a waste of being alive in the twenty-first century that would be."
He laughed as he took my hands in his and kissed my forehead. "You're doing great, babe."
...
Niall Horan
"Hi! Joe?"
"Yeah?" Liv's dad spoke on the other end of the line.
"I know it's past midnight there but Liv's in labor!"
"We'll catch the next plane out." I heard Lori cry out in excitement in the background and then he told me goodbye and hung up.
I had already called my parents and texted the boys. I have so much nervous energy and I've just been pacing around for the last couple hours.
The nurse poked her head into the hallway. "We're ready to push."