I couldn’t tear my eyes from his.
He’d laid me out amongst the soft cotton as though I was a child, stroking the hair away from my face reverently. I was so stunned by his softness that I could only lie there, with my breath trapped in my lungs, and my gaze glued to his.
He looked like a man starved.
Nobody has ever looked at me like that before – like they actually needed me – wanted me – just for the next breath in their body. He looked at me like I was totally vital. And it was that one look that broke everything inside me, whether he meant it or not, in that very second, it was everything I needed.
“I can’t explain what you do to me,” he said softly, as he drew a single fingertip around the shape of my jaw, “I haven’t got a clue what it is, but I just ... feel like I could drown in you. It’s addictive.”
I kissed him. I didn’t need words, and promises, I needed him. So I dragged his mouth down to mine, desperately, showing him. I poured everything into that kiss – literally using my own body to show him that I was pushing my fears aside – that I was here – wholeheartedly, I guess, for the first time, and I knew he felt it with the trembling groan that fell from his throat when my tongue forced its way between his lips. Within moments, he’d taken control, cupping my jaw as his lips became ferociously possessive against mine, coaxing and demanding more of the same response from me.
I could feel my body dampening and darkening under the pressure – my sex needy and gripping already from the pure joy of that one single kiss – and I was moaning in ecstasy against his mouth.
It was almost a shock when I found my bare back against the soft cotton, not really having been aware of his hands stripping the clothes from my heated skin, because I was almost dizzy with need at the pure and unfettered skill of his kisses, my stomach already coiling with frustration before he’d even touched me. When my fingers reached for the clasp of his trousers though, my hands were suddenly caught in his much larger grasp, and pulled away from the barrier between us.
“No way, princess,” his voice gruff and dangerous as he took a step back from the bed, “This time’s all for you.”
His eyes were dark with the promise of complete and utter euphoria as they swept over me, his long fingers flicking the clasp expertly, and he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders, exposing the ropes of bronzed muscle over his chest, the ripped abdomen trailing down to the waistband of his Calvin Klein’s, now deliciously bared to my greedy eyes as they flew over him.
My tongue darted out across my lips – my mouth bone dry with anticipation – this perfect specimen of masculinity was all mine – at least for the moment.
“Hold the pillow, princess,” it sounded like such an odd request, spoken with such a dark and dirty undertone, I could only obey, but he must’ve known I didn’t understand why, “I’ve been chasing your sexy little ass around for weeks now, breaking every rule in the fucking book. My hands were tied though, princess.”
He was holding my eyes with his still, although mine did stray on occasion, especially when his fingers began to toy with the waistband of his tight black briefs, it was all I could do not to drool.
“Tonight is for you – but you have to completely give yourself to me, can you do that?”
“Wh ...” I licked my lips again, “What do you mean, exactly?”
Fuck. Couldn’t be good if a guy started dragging shit like that out of the bag, right? My mind came up with all sorts of horrible thoughts – briefly I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t just snatch up my gear and get the hell out of there once and for all.
He frowned slightly, his eyes almost introspective as he answered me, like he wasn’t even really sure what he was asking for himself.
“I just need you to trust me. It’s not dark or S & M or anything like that, I just need to know I have you.”
Have me? Hadn’t he had me quite a few times now? He was so complex – I didn’t understand this burning intensity that he had going on – it seemed like we’d stripped a few layers, felt like we got somewhere, and now this?
“I’m naked?” Was he missing that bit? Was I missing something here?
“Just give me the ... fuck, the power I guess. I want you to do nothing tonight except feel,” his eyes darted over my features, but I could see the need in them, “Can you do that?”
Could I? Power always seemed to me the one thing you never gave up when you played around with sex – maybe it was a residue of my time with Alex – but as long as you kept onto it – even just the illusion of it – then you were safe. Everything looks different from the driver’s seat.
But hadn’t I already given in to Cayden, somewhere? Wasn’t I already too involved in this to not be broken? Hell, twenty minutes ago, I was giving him my deepest, darkest secrets – stuff that I hadn’t ever said outside of courtrooms and therapist’s offices – except to Ryan, and even he was kind of told by default at one of the group meetings. Maybe I could trust him – even if it was only here, with this.
I’d resigned myself to getting broken, hadn’t I? I already knew we were heading down a dark and twisted path for me? What was one more tainted love experience, after all?
At least I could let myself feel something. Every time with him pushed my boundaries – brought me closer – but I’d never given in and let go. With anybody.
“I can try,” my voice sounded small, needy, which I really wasn’t a fan of, but when he leant down to brush his lips against my forehead softly, as though I’d just given him something precious, it didn’t feel like it mattered anymore.
“It’ll be worth it, princess,” his voice was smooth as silk, moving over my skin in a quiet, dark seduction, “Spread your legs for me, and pull up your knees.”
I did as he bid, my heart beating out a frantic, almost uncomfortable, beat beneath my breastbone – my body mercilessly exposed as he stepped to the foot of the bed. I closed my eyes – fleetingly vulnerability crippling my libido – until he blew out a soft breath over my folds, and I instinctively clenched around the empty air with a hoarse groan.
“I’ve never seen you like this, with your greedy little pussy so on display, just for me,” his voice was back to that guttural, rasping sound – betraying his arousal – and that was enough to bring me on board to his plans, to really try to give in. It was enough to know that this was turning him on as much as it was me. I watched him settle his shoulders behind my knees as he bent towards me – my eyes wide with watching him, and that dark promise he held in his ensnared me as he dropped his tongue to my aching clit decadently, bringing my body to a stark buckle with one touch as I arched away from the soft mattress at my back with a cry.
“Don’t let go,” he teased me, between soft, coaxing licks with his tongue – everywhere except where I desperately needed him, “If I know anything about you at all, you’ll want to – you like to claw at me like a wildcat.”
“Are you trying to make me fucking beg?” I screamed out in frustration – the dirty, crude words he was whispering only heightening my responses. The man could do some wicked things with his tongue, but this wasn’t the time to be talking me into an orgasm – I was desperately clinging to the pillow, sweat beading around my forehead, seeping into the strands of my hair that were fanning out around me on the soft linen, and he was fucking talking?
He chuckled against me, his finger reaching into my slick cleft, and I felt like my entire body clamped down on the single digit – tremors raced through me.
“Oh, I’d fucking love that, truth be told, princess.” And somehow those words, in that ruthless, demanding tone that he had – that deep, sensuous sound that just reminded you of everything your mother ever warned you about bad men – it just pushed me over the edge, and I was racked with a quivering climax – every muscle in my body taut and crazed by barely anything more than his words alone. He touched the tip of his tongue to me softly, but my body was so tender that it felt like a match to a flint and I squirmed beneath him, my legs scissoring together fervently.
“Yeah, I think you’re ready,” he muttered, pulling himself up onto his knees between my legs, aligning his body to mine. My submission – both physical and emotional – had left me needing and insatiable, once I felt that first probing touch of his body to mine, I was almost frantic once again with the need to come, and to come hard, my head frantically thrashing against the pillow.
I may have mentioned something to this effect – groaned it out in one of those long, drawn out soliloquoys, because Cayden’s expert thrust was so sudden and primal that I was shuddering beneath him in less than a second. Every nerve ending beneath my skin seemed to be alight for him – centred on that one point where we joined – and all I could do was close my eyes and savour the sensation – that exquisite feeling of being so deliciously full.
“Fuck, Jodie, fuck, you’re so perfect,” he gripped the nape of my neck, drawing my forehead up to meet his as he balled my legs up between our naked, sweat-sleeked skin, “There’s nothing so fucking perfect in this whole world than being inside you like this – I don’t have a clue what it is you do to me, but don’t ever fucking stop.”
His words were almost like a plea, an anxiety lacing each word that was so alien that my breath caught in my throat – but before I could analyze his words, or panic, he began to move slowly inside me, the position so deep that it was almost painful in its intensity.
“Let go of the pillow,” he moaned into the juncture between my shoulder and my neck, his breath hoarse in my ear, “I need your hands on me, babe, need to know you’re with me.”
It was all I could do not to cling to him – the onset of yet another orgasm shivering through me in a dizzying wave – my fingertips digging into his thick shoulders as he thrust inside me.
I felt all of my muscles clenching down on him, my thighs taut and stretched, my arms clinging to his sweat-slicked beautiful body.
“When you come, say my name,” he grated out against the shell of my ear, “So that you know who you fucking belong to. So you know you’re mine, baby, that it’s only my cock that makes you come so fucking hard, okay?”
My body exploded into an orgasm so intense that all I could remember was his name, anyway.