*******
The one person on earth Brian could trust beside himself to hold his boy while he paid a visit into the hospital was his longtime partner Twiggy. Today, the two fraternal men would embark on a mission that would effect each others' lives forever. Only Brian knew the full gist of the scheme, though. Like he always does, he kept some bits a secret for the protection of others.
Twiggy was in the driver's seat of his car, he pulled into an empty parking spot and cut the engine. Brian's little boy was asleep in his father's lap, but Brian moved him over to Twiggy's awaiting arms carefully.
"Brian, listen to me," he took the child closely to his chest, showing Brian that he was protective and could be trusted, "I'm with you to the end. Even if she's not okay in there."
Brian was uncharacteristically quiet. He had his worried face on, that much was clear. The look where his eyes were shadowed beneath his wide brow and searched frantically over his shoulder. His teeth were closed behind his tightened pink lips, unwilling to speak. His cheeks were lower on their bones when this face happened. It was almost a sad look.
Brian looked down at his boy and unlocked his door, stepping out with a small box with rounded corners.
"What's in there?" Twiggy said, more concernedly.
"Plan A." Brian murmured.
"That . . .is odd."
"Why's it odd?"
Twiggy reclined his chair, now making himself comfortable with the kid. The boy lay like a kitten across his chest, Twiggy's arm under his rump to keep him secure.
"It's just that one would surmise a plan B, not A. No one prepares plans A; those are always just done."
"Well . . .I'm hoping it's just as effective. I've really only prepared for A's, lately." He closed his door quietly and Twiggy watched him retreat to the hospital doors. Before he went inside, he suited up with shades and a ball cap, hiding his identity.
"Psh. Jackass," he laughed, "your height just gives you away anyway."
The boy stirred, his eyes opened and caught the rays of the sunset.
He started to cry horribly.
Aw SHIT! Twiggy popped up, comically becoming a mother and bobbing him up and down on his shoulder. "Uhhh...uhh...I don't really now kids, kid. But, uh, don't cry. Chill!"
He screamed and rubbed his face. That was odd. There must be something wrong with his eyes.
Twiggy studied the kid, taking him up by the armpits and looking at his snotty face. The kid's eyes were fine. A bit off color, but they were clear.
Just guessing at what the kid needed, Twiggy put his hand over the boy's two little eyes. He stopped crying.
"That . . .IS . . .odd." He took his hand off, the kid cried. Putting it back on, he stopped. "You don't like the light, do ya, kid? You some kind of vampire?"
He settled the kid down back on his chest with his makeshift blindfold still on, they both calmed down quite a bit. The sun in the sky disappeared and brought colder temperatures with it.
Twiggy had fallen asleep without turning the car, and the heat, back on. . .
********
Brian passed a few open doors in the hallway before coming across one of interest. It was shut, window curtains pulled, and Ted the paramedic was standing outside of it, sweating at the sight of him.
"Hey." Brian said sternly, stopping in front of him. The sweating that the guy did didn't look like a good sign.
"Hi sir!" He trilled, his voice cracking.
"How is she?"
"Honestly, she was in shock and that's why she stopped responding. She's a lot better now, I made sure of that for you. She's in there waiting. . ." Ted paused, seeming struck with an abnormal realization. "Hey. . . don't I know you from somewhere?"
Know me? Brian thought. Fuck.
"No you don't."
"Yes. Yes I do. You look too familiar. . .are. . .are you-?"
"You dropped something." Brian said, taking the door knob and beginning to enter.
Ted looked at his shoes and saw a $100 bill.
"That's not mine." Ted said honestly, still stooping to pick it up.
"Yes it is." Brian assured, closing the door behind him.
To Brian's earnest surprise, Alice was propped comfortably on a large pillow, watching him enter. Her arms were on identical trays parallel to her lying down body. A clear line running into each of them filled with IV, while a second one provided blood transfusion steadily into her. She was looking normal again. Even normal enough to open with a joke.
"Next time, can you please be the one taken to the hospital?" she said weakly.
He was overcome by a warm, relieved feeling. For the first time in forever, he breathed freely and felt relaxed. He pulled a chair next to her, sitting with a less proper composure, stooping forward where his elbows rested on his knees. Evidence of a bullet wound on her was gone except for a scar the size of a dime.
"How long have you been awake? Long?"
"Not long." She was struggling to flinch loose hair back from her face, her arms were in no condition to move.
"Here, I've got it." He stood up and brushed it back behind her ear, pausing to look at her. He kissed her forehead then, "Thank you for holding on." He took a second to study her. He was surprised to see her arms moving. "Why are you shaking like that?"
"I don't know," she sighed, "I'm not making them do that." She shook her head, letting out a disgusted chuckle, "Annie made me cut so god damn deep. I might have neurological damage; I don't even feel my own hands! I promise, Brian, no more touching a cold sharp fiend to myself anymore . . .it's too childish. I'm never doing it again, it's behind me."
Brian didn't know she's hurt herself before. Maybe she thought he knew. He was mildly displeased, but he decided to save the questionnaire for another time.
"I owe you an explanation." he began, sitting on the corner of the cotton-white bed, "Obviously, I now have a child, who's birthmother is Annie Keller."
"How come you didn't know about it before? Where were you around the pregnancy?"
He sighed, saying the ugly truth, "I never knew. I was . . .pretty lost three years ago. A raging alcoholic who buzzkilled my own life. Annie and I were dating around that era and I wasn't sober enough to realize she was . . .demanding. I don't think I was conscious the night we had sex, even."
Alice sat up, "You mean you were . . .dear god, are you saying you were taken advantage of?"
"I'd rather not split hairs." Men don't get raped. They just don't. He really believed that.
She rested back in her place, "It's okay. I really understand you. Being someone in a similar position, I'd just like to forget all about it. I won't press you on it."
"Thanks." She was so cool about everything, with a twinge of guilt he remembered the conversation they shared in the mausoleum. He had nearly begged her to lose her cool just to make sure she could. She didn't do a good job of expressing distress. But she definitely expressed it well when her wrists were sliced open and they were both drenched in her blood. Brian silently vowed to never pry into another person's emotions again.
"What's his name, do you know?"
He shook his head. The action made him see her right arm on the far side of the bed. A bit higher up than her elbow there was a handcuff attaching her to the bed.
"What's that?" He took it up, it clanked and rattled like loose tinker toys.
Her expression was like a pleasant 'the jig is up' face, "They found me out, Brian. Annie managed to say my name to the Illuminate guys and I guess they looked me up. The nurses cuffed me as soon as I woke to make sure I couldn't get out. Looks like I'm going to the crazy house after all. Unless you know a way out."
He devilishly smirked. The face made an uncomfortable impression on Alice. "Actually, yes I do." Checking over his shoulder to make sure the door was unwatched, he lay the mysterious box down next to Alice's leg and opened it up, withdrawing a loaded syringe.
She sputtered words out between nervous gasps, "Uhh... I . . .heh . . .was just speaking rhetorically. What do you think that's gonna do?"
"Alice, this is the last thing I'm ever going to ask you for. Well, besides your hand once the moment comes. But this, right here, is from Annie's apartment. The same drug that she injected me with. It will make you appear to be lifeless, and you can be freed from this life for a short time, but long enough for Twiggy and I to retrieve you."
"Twiggy Ramirez is in on this?"
"Of course; we're bonded closer than life. But listen, before I do this, make sure you know what we're doing. You're going to be dead to the world .. . your old life, gone."
Any trace of hesitation on her face melted away after that. Her previously raised eyebrows lowered to normal after that.
"I have no more life here. At any rate, we'll be equal in sacrifice now. That's plenty reason enough to go through with this. . .Do it." she said.
He wondered if behind her ready exterior she was still afraid. He needed to make sure.
"Do you trust me?"
"I do. . . . Where do you need to inject it?"
"Do you remember that scene from the Exorcist when Regan was getting treatment at that hospital?" She nodded. "Right there." Alice silenced a disgusted sound.
Moving in slow motion, he placed the sterile needle on the sensitive indent of her neck, their eyes were locked the whole time. "Just sleep. Breathe steadily and sleep, and I will be there in the end for you." With that, he pierced the surface of her slowly pulsing skin and pushed the plunger down with his thumb. She closed her eyes, taking it in bravely.
He stood and looked her over. A sudden wave of dark loneliness washed over him as he saw her grow ghostly. She'd be that way for another day or so. It was like losing her all over again.
"I feel so guilty," he told her. He knew she could hear him. Not hearing a response from her was like she was dead all over again. The sadness grew worse. "I'm sorry, Alice. But thank you for doing this. I don't know how to express what I'm thinking . . "
God I'm no better than Annie. I'm OBSESSED with her, aren't I? Look at me, I KNOW she's alive but I'm still acting this way?!
"And that's really unusual for me."
*****
I slept. Even, in intervals, I forced myself to lose consciousness just to do what he said. Sleep. Breath in my lungs was so short and so quick, I felt like I was in limbo.
An enigma.
Was I remembering? Dreaming? Thinking? All activity within myself was confusing enough without these images...
Backwards images.
I get it now!
I'm seeing that dream . . . the one I had a year ago. I was buried alongside Brian and we were frozen in ice . . .Now it was replaying backwards.
The ground opened up like a book, water from the sea melted away and freed our bodies as if it retreated in fear. Ice broke into white eye lashes all around us. We rose like ghosts from our place in the casket, flying over the heads of men with shovels. They still hummed that song.
Only, this image is too clear . . .I realize now that I'm seeing this, not dreaming it.
I recognize the men with shovels though I hadn't before. It's Twiggy and Brian. Digging me up like I was a prize. They're frantic and skillful. Brian is standing on a stone with my name on it, holding a torch. Neither of them knew I was floating just above.
A day has gone by, and a night full of dreams has clouded my thinking. I don't know what's real very much. But I know I'm being freed.
Things go dark and I'm being taken far away, cold air blasts past me and lights convulse as if a million silhouettes pass in front of it. My body is no longer trapped. Not in a casket, in the air, or on a table to be eaten, I am no where.
An enigma.
The wind becomes more steady, passing over me like a soft hand brushing my hair away. Air reenters my lungs, I feel more lax in my chest. I'm breathing again.
I'm awake
***
I slowly came out of sleep, feeling confused. I opened my eyes and discovered I was on my back in a soft bed; a grand ceiling fan turned in circles above me. I drank the air for what seemed like the first time, it went smoothly down my gullet like invisible milk.
I shrank out of the bed and swooned, a head rush nearly knocking me off my feet. Blood wasn't circulating well.
"God that drug really . . .sucks." I muttered, finding a dresser to lean on. I looked in the mirror, checking myself out. I was in a nice dress I'd never seen before, It was a very fancy white dress with polka dots but It didn't fit too well, it hung a bit loose around the lapels. My makeup was astounding. Someone had done my makeup! I laughed. Brian would probably do something like that.
I recognized the room now, it was the bedroom in his foreign estate. I was in Scotland again.
With a bit more collected grace, I slid out of the room, finding the house very quiet. It was mid November, and the heat was on very high.
"Hello?" I called. Though I felt fine, my voice sounded weak.
No answer. I decided to check all the rooms, each one turned up empty. The ridiculous search had a dreamlike quality to it.
Was I still asleep?
I found the back door, I'd only turned the knob once in my whole life. What I found outside was terribly contrast to what I'd seen before.
It was a wedding setting.
Twiggy had officially met me once, but he acted like my best friend. He cheered my welcome as I stepped onto the grass from the door and approached where he lingered around a white table table. It was like we were the only invites to a private party.
"How does the dress fit?" said Twiggy, standing up and extending a hand.
I took it, shaking cordially, "Fine; thanks. . ." I added, " . . for all you've done."
It went quiet, I realized that he was looking past me. I turned to find Brian standing behind me, the red light of the early morning rayed around his dark shape like a scarlet halo. In one arm, he held a healthier version of the boy . . . .his son . . we had rescued. I ran to them.
For the first time ever, I threw my arms around his neck, taking his thick adult body against me in a sacred hug. He pulled me tightly to him, and we buried our faces in each others' necks. I could feel him sighing with happiness onto my shoulder. It was possibly the most intimate thing we had ever done, I could feel the heart in his body move me; both of us were thinking the same thing: At last.
We broke to face each other, he handed me the little boy gingerly.
"Hello beautiful;" he whispered, "Meet your son." He was in my arms and his little boy hands touched my neck and face curiously. Brian stroked his hair, "I named him after his mother . . you."
"My name?"
"Kath. His name is Kath, like your middle name."
I couldn't believe what I had heard. And every aspect made me happier than the last. I could only stare with an open mouth at the two of them . . . my family. As if on que, Brian took my hand and placed himself on one knee before me, "Alice Kathleen Madden, please marry me today?"
I began to laugh. I was too rocketed by my own emotions that the more I laughed the more I cried. My head bobbed up and down while I covered my face, a little embarrassed.
Twiggy sprang before us, the sun catching his eyes and glinted in them like red Christmas lights. He heard and saw everything, and had a part to play himself. He presented a bible with teeth marks on it. (No doubt it was one from their many concerts.) He threw it down on the grass and began.
"Dearly beloved, please place a foot on the holy book."
We did, realizing what a joker Twiggy was.
"Now squish it into the dirt."
We did, laughing with elation.
"Our forefathers always swore on this thing, today we set an example. . .we swear at it. Because we don't belong to God or anyone for that matter, we are free to always do as we want. And today, you two want to be together in marriage. The ring."
Brian took my one free hand (the left one, the other carried Kath), and slid the ring previously mine back onto my finger. It was a perfect fit, and shiny as ever.
"Now Alice," said Twiggy, "I've watched the news from America and you're apparently a big success."
"Why?"
"Well, you know that logic that when a good artist dies, they become kind of immortal?"
I flushed. He continued.
"Well, they went through your stuff after you vanished and you're a genuine hero back there. There's legends about how you were supposed to be sent to a crazy house and demons came to take you away. Your artwork is in every museum in the USA. Do you realize how amazing life can be?!"
God, could this be happening? Was it possible? Every dream I ever had was coming true. It was an ironic foil to all this shit I put up with: fighting, killing, surviving, bleeding, dying and worse . . .chasing after a ghost for love. Now it all paid off. Was it true?
"I do." I said.
Inadvertently, I had said my vows, because Twiggy turned to Brian and asked the same question. He said I do.
With that final word, Brian took me into his arms, kissing me deeply and passionately on the lips before we looked into the sky.
In that moment, the realization dawned like the red morning sun rising over the green hills miles off. I wasn't dreaming anymore . . I had died and gone to heaven.
****************
The End