13:29.
lights flickered on.
the sudden action made him jump, slightly.
thick clouds gathered.
sunlight depleted.
he sighed.
rain hammered against the window, the glass that he was currently leaning against becoming patterned with streaming droplets of water, the spirals matching the muddled state of his current thoughts. dulling sound of deafening raindrops thudded on the rooftop.
all was quiet.
most people in the inner-city were inside, the rain a sudden and unwelcome occurrence of their usually humid and sunny days, not used to the miserable downpour. the grey atmosphere and rain and obscurity seemed to influence his bored mood even further.
the room wasn't bare; but felt empty. like him. the minimal items within the cramped living room, such as the television that never really worked, and the worn-out sofa with the cushions missing, only made him feel worse.
not sad. alone, somehow. even though he wasn't.
as if on cue, and as if only to break the silence, kai barged into the living room, having only just woken up. his glasses were askew and placed haphazardly on the bridge of his nose, his hair a bedraggled mess and his t-shirt and boxer-shorts creased. a cigarette already poised in between his fingers. a drowsy expression adorned his features, not fully acknowledging baekhyun's presence.
he yawned loudly; followed by a grumble as he tripped over some of the shoes that had been left, scattered across the floor. the soft tread of feet suggested kai was heading over to the kitchen, but baekhyun didn't bother to turn and see for himself, vaguely content on watching the emptying streets down below.
another grumble. another trip over the various items blocking the pathway. another yawn. kai saw baekhyun.
"since when does it rain like this in july, for fuck's sake."
his gravelly voice issued a complaint as he ambled over to the shelves and drawers in the kitchen. switched the kettle on. lit his cigarette. smoke filled the room. he sighed.
"since when did you get into my flat?"
baekhyun replied, his dulled mood cheered as he grinned lazily at kai, who was struggling with trying to find a clean cup amid the mountain of dirty dishes. a pencil rested along the curve of kai's ear.
"since last night," he replied simply and justly, as if that was all that needed to be said.
baekhyun mused; puzzled.
"last night?" he questioned dubiously. "when? i left way before you and sehun. you were both still at the club."
their voices both implied quiet exchanges.
kai nodded in agreement. blew the smoke from between his pale lips. busied himself with washing one of the mugs over the sink.
"yeah, but i came in later," kai stated.
baekhyun was confused.
"how the fuck did you get in?"
kai put the mug down and groaned. water rushed from the tap. echoed loudly.
"you gave me a key, remember?" he responded sarcastically. a laugh accompanied the shake of his head.
"oh, shit. yeah," baekhyun said, leaning back against the window again.
of course, baekhyun thought to himself. he'd forgotten.
god, he was tired. exhausted. these last few days had been draining--too much, almost. his hand ruffled through his fringe. he knew he couldn't think too hard, otherwise;
the light switched. on and off. off and on.
he didn't know what was wrong with him.
kai seemed to be pre-occupied with his own misdemeanours, humming a tune under his breath as he searched for a clean spoon to use for the milk. his deep voice rumbled in unison with the grumble of the old kettle signalling it had boiled. the clink of cutlery and the normality of making coffee for breakfast--even if it was past midday--seemed to soothe him; calm him down.
ever since her.
"coffee?" kai called from the kitchen.
"yeah, alright. thanks," baekhyun said.
he had a headache.
coffee probably wouldn't help, but.
kai, upon making an even bigger mess in the kitchen than was already there, meandered over to where baekhyun was seated, handing him his drink. the window panes were large; just large enough for kai to squeeze and position himself opposite of baekhyun. his own mug of coffee rested in between his hands as he stubbed the cigarette out on the worn-out carpet.
"hey," baekhyun protested.
"what?"
kai looked unphased.
"don't do that," baekhyun continued. grumbling, slightly.
"do what?"
baekhyun sighed.
"that."
he pointed towards the grey circle of burned ash that kai had just caused, the butt-end of the cigarette shrivelled on the carpet. its fiery remnants juxtaposed the greying beige of the carpet.
"sorry," he merely muttered.
baekhyun chose not to press the matter further.
"what time is it?" kai asked.
"dunno. it's late, though," baekhyun answered.
"late?"
"late, as in you should've been up hours ago."
kai made a face, sipping his drink tentatively, staring out the window at the bleak misery of the torrential downpour.
"man needs his beauty sleep," kai said, running a hand through his soft hair.
baekhyun scoffed; shook his head. ignored him.
"so, where's sehun?"
"huh?"
baekhyun rolled his eyes. kai was impossible.
the light in the kitchen shut off, suddenly. it enveloped the corner of the kitchen in a dull grey, a dark shade that matched the misty appearance of the afternoon.
"did sehun get home?"
"erm," kai began, "yeah, i think so. he went home with one of the others."
baekhyun was too tired to care too much about the situation, to press the matter any further. he simply nodded in agreement and bringing his knees up to wrap his arms around them.
kai drained his coffee.
baekhyun sipped his slowly.
"where's the girl, then?"
the girl.
baekhyun's eyes shot open unintentionally; the mug within his grasp almost leaving his hold as he attempted to compose himself against the wall. tried to ignore the diminishing lights. their apartment darkened.
"what about her?" he replied with a shaking voice. the word caught in his throat.
"she was here, wasn't she?"
"yeah. i took her home," baekhyun lied.
kai nodded. yawned and scratched the back of his neck.
"was she okay? she looked out of it."
kai motioned with his hand; widened his eyes, shaking his head as if her state had been a joking matter.
baekhyun shrugged, and winced at the comment. told himself to stop being so ridiculous. shook his own head. ran a hand through his dishevelled fringe.
the lightbulb in the kitchen shut off completely.
it couldn't be.
"drank too much, or something."
kai meant it as a question, but it came out more as a statement, as he, too, became immersed by the bleak rain and the dismal background of the usually dazzling city. baekhyun didn't reply. didn't know what to say.
"something like that."
kai fixed his attention on baekhyun, a devilish, mischevious grin spreading from ear to ear, showing his white teeth. his eyebrows bobbed up and down suggestively.
"what?" baekhyun demanded, voice shrill and laced with a flustered tone.
kai laughed.
"so, are you gonna tell me, then?" kai said. his question was followed, yet again, by another evocative smirk.
"tell you what?" baekhyun strained.
"you and that girl..." kai trailed off, laughing even louder this time.
automatically, baekhyun quickly shook his head. eyes widened. he protested kai's assumption, putting his hands up towards him.
"nothing happened," baekhyun answered through gritted teeth. eyes darkened.
"you sure?" kai drawled.
baekhyun narrowed his eyes. "nothing like that happened, okay?"
"shit, okay."
kai was still laughing, clutching his chest from the amusement of baekhyun's flustered reaction. baekhyun normally wasn't like this. particularly when it came to having girls stay at his flat over-night. wisely, kai chose not to discuss the subject any further.
baekhyun told himself to not get so worked up about it. it's not a big deal, for god's sake. he repeated the same thing, over and over again, in his head. the image of her remained, though. he thought about the clothes he'd let her borrow.
he remembered the scene he'd met in the morning of her messed-up hair and her bare arms, sitting up, startled, in his bed, surrounded by the crumpled sheets and the plush pillows.
he remembered the sparkle of her tired, hung-over eyes and the dark circles that accentuated how sweet and calm she'd appeared, the sun painting pale shadows across her skin.
he remembered how quiet yet meaningful her voice and questions had been in the café; how she'd looked down at the table and stirred her coffee as he'd got cross with her. unintentionally.
it had been true. baekhyun had only happened to find her out of pure coincidence in the club; not as if he'd followed her there. the night before had reduced his mind to a blurred mess of feverish touches and the humid atmosphere of the compressed room they'd found themselves in. the darkness and the bright, bright lights.
he'd been alright, ever since his most recent mishap. baekhyun thought he'd recovered from that, concluding to himself that it had occurred out of chance, not for a reason. the morning after, waking up in her flat--
he sucked in a breath, bit his lip: paused--
had been a somewhat unconscious experience, because it had taken him a few moments to fully accustom himself to the new and surreal whereabouts of her living room. he'd been used to waking up in other people's beds many other times, but baekhyun remembered how startled he'd been by having someone act so caring towards him and so nervous around him, unlike the usual inattention people felt towards him the morning after.
she had been so shy. admittedly, only from girls, perhaps he was used to this reaction, in which the girl would blush anxiously as he complimented her looks and winked suggestively. maybe. in another world.
but this had been different. he hadn't felt that; hadn't felt a strong desire of wanting, or anything like that. he'd merely been thankful and curious and, above all, astounded by how pretty and innocent she'd appeared in the morning light, shed by the yellowing rays of the sun. and, how those deep, penetrating eyes could make his heart flutter ten times faster.
roma.
the rain pattered heavily. the clouds coloured a grey shade of gloom. baekhyun breathed in a deep sigh, one that made his chest ache.
"have you been alright?"
kai was looking at him, now. concerned.
baekhyun wasn't sure what to answer. nothing seemed a viable explanation in his mind for why he was losing it.
"yeah, w-why?"
his voice shook. maybe it was a bit obvious.
kai shrugged, not too bothered. more focused on the beige colour of the carpet.
"i don't know," kai spoke slowly. "it's just, like, last night we didn't even know you were there. usually we know."
baekhyun sat in silence.
kai leaned forward, head resting on his crossed arms, over his bent knees.
"you know what i mean, though, right?"
baekhyun knew.
"yeah, i don't know. i'm fine," he replied, mustering up a believable smile, one that stretched the corners of his mouth. "don't worry about me. it'll be fine."
kai stared at him momentarily.
dropped the subject.
instead, he let out a long and exhausted sigh, removing his head from the resting position and leaning it back against the wall. his coffee had long been finished, and the emptiness of the cup reminded baekhyun of how he felt; useless.
he didn't know what to do. and he was scared.
his head still hurt. with that, came the crash of something--at least, that's what it sounded like--and he jumped up from his seated position, startling kai in the process. it was nothing. one of the plates balancing precariously on the edge of the sink had fallen, splintering into pieces on the kitchen floor.
his breathing shallowed, leaving his being in short intakes and exhales as he decided that he had to get out of here. he had to find her.
"baekhyun, what--" kai began, his previously drowsy tone dissipating.
"i need to go," baekhyun stated hurriedly.
"go? go where?" kai tried, standing up, too.
the lights in the living room extinguished; lightbulbs dying, one by one. no. dark shades of a deeper grey flooded into the enclosed space. this can't be happening.
"i'm sorry."
baekhyun was rushing, pulling on his shoes, shoving his arms into the sleeves of his jacket, grabbing his keys.
"i have to find her."
//