3rd Peron's POV
"Welcome, everyone, to the Grand Reopening... of the newly renovated Hayden Planetarium... here at the Museum of Natural History. New York's glitterati have all turned out...for what has promised to be a memorable evening... filled with the dazzling special effects...and technical wizardry we've all come to admire from this museum...and its renowned Night Program." A news anchor said to a camera. Inside the museum, people and animals were getting ready for their roles.
"Tonight gonna be fun-fun! Here come Dum Dum!" The Easter Island Head said as Larry walked past him.
"Hey, how we doing, Sac?" Larry asked Sac.
"Rexy is waxed and buffed. Teddy is grooming his mustache. Oh, and I reviewed fire safety procedures with the primordial men. By the way, have you seen them lately? The museum has added a new one."
"What? No. Oh, and make sure the centurions stretch, all right? They really went for it in the dress rehearsal... and they're just not used to those kinds of dance moves." He said as Sac nodded her head looking over her clipboard. "Okay, everybody. Everybody, listen up. I don't want to make anybody nervous... but the mayor and the governor are both out there. And, I'm not 100 percent sure, but I think Regis Philbin, too." He called out to them.
"Reeju Philbo?" Atilla asked, eyes lighting up.
"Yeah, Reeju Philbo." Larry said. As he went by different people and animals he would mutter something to them. "Okay, Rexy, do me a favor. Watch the tail, okay? There's gonna be open flame. Oh, Dexter...how you doing, my man? All limbered up? Looking good. I like the tie. Got kind of a Chipp and Dales thing going on. All chalked up, ready to go?" Dexter chirped to him. "Good. Okay, everybody relax and have fun, okay?"
"Larry. You better come see this." Ahkmenrah said looking worried. Larry followed Ahkmenrah to where Katalina was standing, looking at the tablet. "Has it gotten any better?" Ahkmenrah asked her.
"No. Nothing's changed." She said and nodded to Larry who came over and looked at it as well.
"Have you ever seen it like this before?" He asked shining his flashlight on it seeing green like rust on the bottom part of it.
"Never. This corrosion has never happened before. It's always been exactly the same. Have you Katalina?"
"Oh, no, I don't usually come near it." She said.
"I wonder what's up with it." Larry muttered to himself.
"I have no idea. And to be honest... my father knew the secrets of the tablet better than I did. Unfortunately, he swore he'd never reveal them. He never did." After looking at it a little while longer Ahkmenrah started to sway on his feet while Katalina paled as more green cover the tablet. Larry let his arm out to catch a falling Ahkmenrah.
"You guys okay?" He asked.
"Yes," Katalina said.
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Just take it easy out there tonight, all right? You got 15 minutes till showtime. We're gonna figure this out tomorrow."
"All right," Ahkmenrah said. Larry left Ahkmenrah and Katalina alone to go and make sure everyone else was getting ready.
"Look at that! Doggone it! Did you see that? They're trying to catch the light." Jedediah yelled laughing at the computer screen as cats were chasing a light. "I know. But you can't do it, boys! You can't catch light! It's as elusive as human happiness!"
"I should like to comment. Summon the apparatus." Octavius comanded.
"Yeah."
"Summon the apparatus!" One of his men yelled to the others.
"What are you gonna say?" Jedediah asked as a machine made out of popsicle sticks and paperclips was rolled out and over the keyboard.
"L...O...L."
"'Laugh out loud.' Yeah, that's what I did." Jedediah agreed.
"Now, post these adorable kittens with my edict of approval to Facebook."
"Give a big Texas 'hell yeah' from old Jedediah...because I loved it too!"
"Just send a smiley face."
"Yeah, but with a wink!"
"A smiley face and a wink!" One of the other men yelled.
"Guys, what are you doing?" Larry asked seeing Jedediah and Octavius goofing off.
"We're just watching kittens," Octavius said explaining himself.
"You're on in five minutes. You got to focus, here."
"I told you we don't have time for this!" Jedediah said scolding Octavius
"You gave it a Texas 'hell yeah!'"
"Hey, Teddy, ready to roll?" Larry asked walking up to Teddy, who was sitting on Texas.
"Indeed, Lawrence."
"Great."
"Battle of San Juan Hill cool as a cucumber. Right now, butterflies like you wouldn't believe." Teddy said, his voice wavering a bit.
"You're gonna be great."
"Lawrence?"
"Yeah."
"Have you seen the Neanderthals lately?"
"No. Why does everybody keep talking about this?" Larry asked starting to walk away.
"You may want to give it a look!"
"Hey, guys, what's going on?" Larry asked as he approached the Neanderthals. The remaining one turned around and looked just like Larry. "Okay. All right, very funny. That's hilarious." Larry said. The one that looked like Larry started to go to Larry. "You don't have to come down. It's okay, really. Hi, how are you? I'm Larry." He asked when he was close to him.
"I'm Laaa..." Laaa said.
"You're 'Laaa'?"
"Laaa."
"Laaa. Okay, nice to meet you, Laaa. Welcome aboard, and...Yes, we look similar. Yeah, we look like each other, I know. It's a joke that somebody played. Dr. McPhee had you made to look like me. It's just a..." Laaa tried to touch Larry's face but Larry slapped it away. "Stop it. Stop, okay?"
"Dada?" Laaa asked.
"What?"
"Dada."
"No, not your Dada."
"Yeah, Dada."
"No. Stop."
"Dada. Dada! Dada!" The other Neanderthals yelled. Ecco Ted for their new friend.
"No, I'm not his... I'm not your Dada."
"Dum Dum got a new son-son!" Easter Island Head said out of amusement.
"No, he doesn't."
"Dada! Dada!" Laaa continued to yell as Larry walked away.
Sitting in the brand new observitory hall were tables with fancy dishes set up for all the different guests who'd shown up. The governor, the mayor, Regis Philbin, and of course Dr. McPhee.
"A toast to our new chairwoman. Cheers, everyone. Cheers." Dr. McPhee said holding out his glass. Then Larry walked in with a walkie-talkie.
"Cue the music. And Teddy in three, two..." Larry said into it. The gates separating the museum and the observitory opened and in rode Teddy on Texas.
"Since 1869, when I was a mere boy of 11...this museum has been a shining beacon to our great city. Tonight we'll expand our horizons even further...to the Sun, the Moon, and the stars. From our very beginning, mankind has looked to the heavens and given names to what he saw. The constellations. I thought you might like to meet them." Teddy said.
"Cue the constellations," Larry said and then Sacajawea opened the door to release the constellations and they all came out. Turning into different shapes and running through the air.
"Orion, the hunter!" Teddy said pointing to him. Orion made an apple made of fake stars appear on top of McPhee's head. Everyone turned to look at him.
"What?" He asked. Then Orion shot an arrow and hit the apple making into turn back into little stars that floated down and around McPhee. "All planned. All planned. I knew that was gonna happen. So, yeah." He said smiling.
"Good. Going great, guys. Going great. Let's drop the silks. And go with the monkey." Larry said and then two silk curtains fell to the floor. And Dexter came between them doing tricks.
"What?" The chairwoman asked shocked.
"Come on," Larry said as he watched as Dexter was slowly trying to spread his arms, arms-length apart.
"That's what I do." Dr. McPhee said in a bragging manner.
"Thank you for your patronage..." More of the green-covered rust started to appear on the tablet. "And for your unwavering support of this fine institution. This newly renovated planetarium will serve as a lens... " Teddy said too fast for anyone to understand. "'Once more unto the breach, dear friends!'"
"What?" The chairwoman asked again.
"Charge! Rough Riders!" Teddy yelled getting off of Texas and standing on one of the tables. Larry ran out from where he was standing.
"It's okay! Just hang on!" He yelled
"Is this part of it?" The chairwoman asked McPhee.
"Sorry folks, a little technical issue," Larry said and he went over to Teddy who had his gun pointed at people. "What are you doing? Stick to the script. Stick to the script! It's me!" Larry said when Teddy pointed his gun at him.
"I don't know you." By now people were running from their tables in a rush to get out of the museum, but on their way out they failed to see the miniatures holding a rope out trying to trip them.
"Pull!" Octavius yelled.
"I don't know what's come over me, but I like it!" Jedediah yelled as more and more people continued to trip over the rope. "Drop 'em!"
"Yeah! Yeah!" Octavius yelled. Dr. McPhee ran over to Larry.
"What's going on? Do something!" He more so demanded than asked.
Larry ran to try and figure out what was happening, including taking a spear-like kabob away from Dexter who looked as if he were going to stab the chairwoman.
"Orion, don't! Rexy!" He yelled as Orion shot an arrow and started a fire and Rexy ran into the room and roared. By the time all the exhibits had calmed and all the guests had left Larry was very upset. "Guys, what was going on out there?" Laaa tried to copy Larry. "Seriously, what were you thinking?" He tried again. "Laaa, I got this, all right? Just... Go over there. No, go over there. Go. Attila... what were you doing to that dolphin, man? It's a dolphin! It's one of the most peaceful creatures on earth...and you're hacking into it like it was The Cove or something. Did you see the look on Regis Philbin's face?" Larry asked sending Attila into guilt.
"Reeju?" He asked sadly.
"Yeah, Reeju. Teddy, what were you doing pointing a gun at me?" He asked looking at Teddy.
"Forgive me, Lawrence. I don't know what came over me."
"Do you even remember that?"
"Not at all," Teddy said sadly. The sound of Laaa came and Larry looked over to see him playing with the defibrillator.
"Laaa, shut that down! It's a defibrillator. Put it down. It's dangerous! Laaa, that's electricity. Those aren't headphones. Stop it!" Larry yelled as Laaa put them over his ears. He turned back around to feel something drip on him to see Dexter peeing on him. "Oh! Hey! Whoa! Dexter! What are you doing? Honestly, if you're gonna act like a baby, then I'll get you some diapers. You want diapers again?"
"Ease up on the reins there, hoss. Can't you see? He feels terrible! Hell, we all do!" Jedediah said speaking for the whole group.
"I don't know what's going on with everybody here... but tonight was really weird. Really weird."
"We feel awful. Something took hold of us like an evil spell!" Octavius said.
"Yeah, like we just weren't ourselves."