Nakakarelax.
Yung simoy ng hangin.
Yung tunog ng dagat.
Yung maligamgam na buhangin sa paa mo.
Yung kumikinang na butuin sa langit.
Sana ganito rin ang buhay. Yung simple lang. Yung parang walang problema. Relax at walang stress.
Pero hindi eh.
Lahat ng steps na tatahakin mo, laging may harang. Laging may sakit at pighati.
"Hindi mo naman sinabi sakin na lalabas ka. Nakakatakot kaya maiwan mag-isa dun sa kwarto." Narinig kong sabi ni Lisa.
"Buti nga iniwan ka lang mag-isa lang sa kwarto eh." Sabi ko sakaniya habang pinipigilan ilabas ang luha ko.
Tumabi siya sakin tapos hinawakan ako sa balikat.
"Siya nanaman ba? Georgina, you've got to stop thinking about him." Bulong na sabi niya.
"Hindi kasi yun ganun kadali Lisa." Sabi ko tas may tumulong luha sa pisngi ko.
It's our 5th Anniversary. I'm expecting a surprise from Reynold.
Every anniversary namin, he has a surprise.
Pero I think that record will break today.
He hasn't text me or called me since yesterday.
Nagaalala na ako. Hindi kaya nakalimutan niya? I doubt. Nasa calendar niya yun eh, and nagset pa siya ng alarm exactly 12mn para mabati daw niya ako agad.
I looked at my phone once again. Wala talaga. Tawagan ko nalang siya.
After a few rings, sumagot siya.
"Hello?" He said, parang bagong gising lang siya? Gosh, it's already 11:47am. Eh palaging 6 ang gising niyan eh.
"Hey, goodmorning hon." I said with a lovely tone. Not minding the thought of him just waking up.
"Gi? Why'd you call?" He said with a ting of curiosity. But why? Don't I have the right to call my boyfriend?
"I just missed you, that's all." I said. Nagaalangan pa ako sa sabihin yan.
"Oh okay. Anyway, gotta go. May gagawin pa kasi ako. Bye" Then he just hanged up. He didn't even say 'I love you' or greeted me a 'Happy anniversary'. He didn't even say that he misses me too.
Damn, what is going on?
"Tulala ka nanaman." Sabi sakin ni Lisa na nakapagbalik sakin sa realidad.
"It's crippling back. That day. All that happened that day just pops up into my mind every now and then. It's like haunting me." I said while holding back my tears.
Sabi nila, everything happens for a reason. Pero ewan ko rin.
Wala naman kasi akong maisip na reason para mangyari yun eh.
It just... happened.
"Tara na nga, pasok na tayo. Mahamog na. Magkakasakit ka pa." Sabay hila sakin papasok sa resthouse.
When we got inside, dumiretso muna ako sa kusina to get a glass of water.
While I was drinking water, napahawak ako sa necklace na suot ko na binigay niya.
I felt a cold little thing at my neck.
"Omg, Rey, it's so gorgeous." I said while looking at the astonishing sapphire necklace in my neck.
He turned me around so that I would face the mirror and give me a good look at the necklace.
"A gorgeous necklace for a gorgeous girl. " He said and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"This necklace will symbolize my love for you. I love you forever and ever." He said while looking at my eyes through the mirror. I can see sincerity and faith in his eyes. Oh, how I love to stare at his hazelnut eyes.
"And I love you too" I faced him and kissed him with so much love and appreciation.
"GEORGINA! Jusko ka, nakapaa ka tas may basag na baso sa sahig!" Sigaw ni Lisa sakin pagkatapos niya akong hilain paalis sun sa kusina.
Nabitawan ko pala yung baso. Napatingin ako sa paa ko at nakita ko na ang dami kong sugat doon. Meron rin sa legs ko. Siguro dahil tumalsik yung mga bubog pagkabagsak.
"Ano ba kasi ginagawa mo ha at nabasag mo to? Ha?" Sabi niya sakin habang pinupulot yung mga bubog.
"Ah, nasagi ko lang." Sabi ko sakaniya then umakyat na ako papunta sa kwarto. Not minding the pain from the steps I take.
Walang mas masakit pa sa nararamdaman ko.
It's already 3pm and Reynold hasn't texted me since he ended the call.
Natatakot na ako. Ang dami kong naiisip na kung ano ano. May mga positive, pero mas nangingibabaw ang negative.
Naisipan ko tuloy na pumunta sa bahay nila.
I rang the doorbell. And again. And again. Wala ba si Rey?
Paalis na sana ako nung narinig kong bumukas yung gate, it's Nana. Helper nina Rey.
"Oh, Georgina, ano ginagawa mo dito?" Sabi niya. She even opened the gate wider for me to walk in.
"Hi Nana, si Rey po? Hindi po kasi siya nagrereply or tumatawag sakin eh." Sabi ko kay Nana after ko mag mano sakaniya.
"Nako, umalis. Bihis na bihis pa nga eh. Sabi niya may susunduin daw siya then aalis sila. Akala ko nga ikaw yun eh." Sabi niya ng may pagtataka.
Nagulat naman ako. Sino naman sinundo nun? His parents aren't gonna be home before Christmas. It's just October.
"Oh, uhm. Sige po Nana, I'll go ahead. Thank you." I hugged her then went back to my car.
I rested my head on the steering wheel. Naiiyak na ako.
'Reynold, where the hell are you?'
I just went to the mall to lessen my stress.
MOA ang pinakamalapit na mall, so I went there.
I went inside every clothes boutique. Magtitingin tingin lang naman ako. Clothes are my stress relievers. That's why I chose Fashion Designing as my course.
I brought some clothes too, though. Just for fun, hehe.
I was about to enter another botique then I remembered that the Seaside is near this botique.
I went to the seaside just to relax there and have a little walk.
Pagdating ko dun, medyo madami na yung tao. Maybe because it's already 5pm and malapit na ang sunset.
"Georgina, wake up. Kakain na tayo ng breakfast." Paggising sakin ni Lisa. I didn't realize na nakatulog pala ako.
"Okay. Mauna ka na, I'll just wash up." ThenI heard the door close. Tinakpan ko na muna yung mukha ko ng unan, remembering everything that happened to me.
I stood up and went to the wash room. I washed my face and fixed my hair.
Paglabas ko, tumutunog phone ko. 'Omg, baka si Rey yan!' Naisip ko.
Pagtingin ko, alarm lang pala.
Happy 6th Anniversary!
Napaupo ako sa kama ko. Anniversary pala namin ngayon.
I'm fighting the urge to text him or to call him and tell him how much pain he caused me. I'm a wreck because of him. I want to sue him for everything.
Ang sakit... Ang sakit. Sobra.
"Someday... Makakalimutan rin kita. Someday... Mawawala rin yung sakit. Someday... Magmamahal rin ako ng iba. Someday... Hindi na kita iiyakan. Someday..."
I wiped my tears and went to the dining room with a smile.
Naglalakad lakad lang ako, when I saw a big rock. I sat there and waited for the sunset.
I was just staring at the beautiful sight and letting out deep sighs just to calm myself.
"Aren't you afraid that she might find out and won't forgive you and hate you forever?" I heard from somewhere. That voice is familiar pero hindi ko maalala kung sino yun.
"I'm super afraid. But I can't do anything about it. I just fell inlove. Nasasaktan rin naman ako para sakaniya eh. I tried to stop this feeling building up inside pero wala naman na ako magagawa eh." The girl said. Their voices are very familiar. I can sense that the voices are coming from my back.
"How about you? Aren't you afraid that she might find out and, of course, feel so much pain to the point that she might do something to herself? You know Gi, she can be suicidal when she wants to." The girl continued and I was shocked when I heard my name.
I stood up and looked behind me. Only to find my cousin, Sara. And my boyfriend, Reynold, almost hugging.
Reynold holding Sara's waist and Sara's hands behind Reynold's neck.
A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it immediately. Made a deep inhale of air and placed a smile on my face.
I walked towards them and said "Sara? Omg, long time no see." I hugged her. And when I let go of the hug, she looked at me with a shocked face.
"Georgina..." She said, almost a whisper.
I looked at Reynold and asked him, "Oh, nandito ka lang pala. Alam mo ba kanina pa kita hinahanap."
They are both just looking at me weirdly. Maybe nagtataka sila, kung bakit parang hindi ako galit, and nakangiti pa ako.
"Gano na kayo katagal ha? Parang hindi ko nabalita na kayo na pala." Sabi ko sakanila when awkward silence surrounded us. "Ano ba kayo, nahihiya ba kayo sakin? Ngayon pa talaga kayo nahiya."
"It's uhm.. It's our first anniversary today." Sara answered ng hindi nakatingin sa mata ko.
In my periphical view, I saw Reynold looked down, with a sad and guilty face.
"Wow, tagal niyo na pala akong niloloko. So uhm, s-stay strong sainyo ah. Wag niyong sasaktan yung isa't isa." Sabi ko, making my voice whole again.
Natahimik naman silang dalawa.
"I'm so so sorry Gi." Sara said while crying.
I can feel the pain and awkwardness already kaya aalis na ako.
But before that, I faced Reynold.
"So, Reynold. Pwede na siguro ako manlalaki noh? Happy fifth and last anniversary."
And with that, I turned around, letting my tears down and walked gracefully out of their sight.
Nang makalayo na ako sakanila, umupo ako sa isang bench na nakita ko. Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi umiyak.
I faced the sunset. Unti unti na siyang lumulubog. At unti unti naring lumilitaw yung buwan.
Gaya ng paglubog ng relasyon namin ni Reynold. At ang pagusbong ng relasyon nila ni Sara.