Seeing it’s my one year anniversary on this fantastic site, I thought instead of doing a rant, *warning: it might turn into one* I should talk about the things Wattpad has taught me over the past year.
1. All the hot boys have six packs and totally belong in the football field, and their body odour is heavenly –I’m not even going to any further with that one.
2. Blondes are sluts. They’re bitches, nasty, rude, wear short shorts, act like bimbos and bang the entire football team. Thank God I’m not a blonde. I might be infected with herpes and have aids. Who knows, I might also be pregnant with my TWENTY FIFTH CHILD?!
3. All male teachers are hot, with six packs and smoky green/blue/brown/purple eyes, and would totally be happy to get it on with me on his desk. *shudder*
4. You can make a bad boy good. Just cry on his shoulder and tell him some sobby, over-cliche story and he’ll become a good boy.
5. All nerds were glasses. Fuck whoever came up with that shit.
6. All Asians are smart. *cough... cough* From experience, this isn’t always the case. [PrincessSofia, you’re exempt from this rule.]
7. Black girls are always from the hood and talk lyke dis ‘n’ rock dat sh!t, and have lots of baby daddies. *That’s insulting.*
8. All black people are thugs <- Fuck you. I’m only a thug in the kitchen.
9. It’s totally cool to get pregnant at the age of foetus. Don’t worry, the guy who knocked you up (who also happens to be a bad guy) will stick with you for the entire nine months and the rest of your life and everything will be fairies, rainbows and candy. Or, he’ll leave you and you’ll get a good guy in return, who treats you like a princess. – That doesn’t always happen. It’s time to stop reading fairytales.
10. Sleeping with your sibling is totally cool if they’re hot. Like no one will give a damn about the fact it’s fucking disgusting. Whoever came up with that trend needs to be shot in the balls.
11. It’s totally cool to have bad spelling and grammar. It’s a free country. No one gives a fuck about it.
12. It’s cool to be a diva and treat your fans like crap. No one will care anyway. You run this shit.
13. People can be mega douchebags on the internet. –nuff said.
14. I am technically an insecure person for writing a rant book. *Yes. Boohoo. I’m insecure. I’m sad and so I have to rant to make people like me.* Why should I be insecure? I’m a limited edition. Insecure is not a part of my vocabulary.
15. Some very special people are on this site that cheer me up, make me smile and know how to write. Thank the Lord!
16. Vampires sparkle.
17. I’ve learnt to make better covers! YAY! I’m totally going to fail highschool now because I barely do homework anymore.
18. List all the descriptions of your character. That shit is hot and makes your story popular.
19. Write a horrible story. You’ll get lots of votes, comments and fans. Of course, ignore all constructive criticism. Haters gonna hate!
20. Rape is sexy. *Takes out gun and grenade*
So yeah, that is what I have learnt over the course of a year on Wattpad. I just want to say thank you all for your support, votes, comments and follows. They mean so much to me. I will reply all your comments soon. Procrastination is just getting the better of me at the moment.
**Oh and one final thing, if you want to block someone, go to their profile and under their comments at the right side of the page, you’ll see two buttons saying ignore and report. Click the ignore button and a pop up icon will appear. Click on ok, and the person will be blocked :)