I had been awake for quite a while, and yet V still hadn't come down to deliver breakfast, which was odd, since I usually didn't get up very early. The lack of windows and natural light really messed with my sense of time, but it wasn't cold enough to be early morning. In fact, when I had woken up ages ago, it still hadn't been the early morning temperature.
So where was V?
If my stomach growls one more time, I thought, I'm going to check on him.
My stomach rumbled, and I groaned and wrapped my arms around my midriff instinctively.
Okay, if my stomach growls one more time, I'll do it, I told myself, feeling anxiety bubble in my stomach. Truth be told, I was still shit-scared of V, and I didn't want to risk it, but if something was wrong, I had to. I couldn't just rot in the basement if something had happened to V.
My stomach grumbled in protest again, and I exhaled slowly. This was worse than any case of stage fright I had ever had. Somehow, the simple task of bringing myself to try to use the key under the cabinet was almost too daunting. I didn't even know if that was the key to the basement door, yet it still intimated me, and for some reason, I hoped that it wouldn't be the right key.
I was almost afraid to escape.
But if V was in danger, I had to help him, right? If he was going to starve me out again, I had to intervene as well. This time, I had the power to do something about my life, and that was a rare opportunity that I had to be willing to take.
"Alright, we're gonna die, but let's go," I muttered to myself, peeling myself off the bed and padding towards the cabinet with bare feet. Then, crouching down, I extended my right arm under the cabinet, wincing at all the dust piling onto my arm. I quickly dragged the silver key out from under the cabinet, wiped my arm on the sofa, and slowly approached the door.
I was shaking. I was seconds away from possible freedom, and I was shaking. My fingers trembled, and I had to make an obvious effort to not let the small key slip from my clammy fingers.
Since when had I become such a coward?
I sucked in air and exhaled for a good eight seconds, trying to compose myself. With shaky hands, I pressed the key into the keyhole. To my slight despair, it was a perfect hit. I rotated the key, and the door clicked unlocked. Carefully, I slowly pushed the heavy basement door open and took a cautious step outside. Artificial light drained from my wide eyes and was replaced with natural daylight.
V's house--no, mansion--was painted in an off-white, pale color. Multiple windows were embedded into the walls, and beautiful, bright sunlight streamed into the rooms, shining onto the modern-themed furniture V had. Though the walls were light and intricate, elegant crystal chandeliers hung off of the white ceilings, the furniture was dark and closely patterned and placed so that everything had a great contrast and the color scheme was nearly perfect. It really did reflect V's detailed and precise mindset.
My feet were on the brown, hardwood floor, and from the open windows around me, yellow sunlight kissed my skin gently, warming me to the bone. Outside, I saw the robin's egg blue sky, not a cloud visible, and the deep green leaves of the trees that seemed to shimmer and glitter in the wind. I could hear the faint chirping songs of the birds, the rushing of the breezes, and the sounds of people enjoying their lives outside.
With a soft whimper, I collapsed to my knees, my palms pressing against the clean floor. It had been so long since I had felt nature around me. This was the first time since forever that I had felt the sun, smelled the outside, and seen the world as it was. Though I had never appreciated nature that much, now, I couldn't get over breathing fresh air. It looked like Heaven, and the world had never seemed more beautiful. I would never take Earth for granted again. My eyes blurred with tears of happiness and disbelief as I looked around rapidly, trying to take it all in, and a small whimper built in my chest. It was like I was already home.
Don't forget about why you're outside, a nagging voice inside of me said.
I could've escaped right then. I could've left at that moment and walked out of that door. I could've run away immediately.
But I didn't. I loved V, and it felt like my duty to check on him. I had to see if he was okay. A part of me wanted to speak to him him, just to convince him to live a normal life with me. It was delusional, but it was still there, underneath everything else. In the artificial light of the basement, certain dreams had festered in my mind, and they had all centered around V. He was the only thing I'd had in that basement.
So, with that in mind, I scaled the grand staircase, the mahogany banister cool to the touch. I didn't know where V was, but I believed that I would've heard him if he was downstairs. As my bare feet advanced the steps slowly, I gazed through all the numerous windows in sight, still awe-struck at the sight of Earth.
As soon as I got upstairs, I heard him.
Well, I didn't hear him, but I did hear a crashing noise, and I knew for a fact that V was rather destructive. With a frantic, thundering heartbeat, I rushed towards the sound, navigating the many twisting halls and corridors that made up the labyrinth of his second floor. I finally pressed open a white door that led to a large, spacious room filled with desks, cabinets, and important-looking papers in stacks--well, that used to be in stacks.
The room had become a flurry of white. Leafs of papers fluttered around the room, and on the floor lay ripped shreds, cracked solids, and shattered glass. This was all because of V's actions. He was screaming and pelting objects across the room, his voice the highest pitch I had ever heard it.
I picked up a broken picture frame by my feet, slipping out the glossy paper from underneath the glass webbed with cracks.
Kim Taehyung's 15th birthday, the back of the picture read. I turned it over in my hand.
In the picture was a family. I could only tell because the children resembled the parents, not because of the way they interacted with each other. Two children--a boy and a girl--wore polite expressions and had proper ballerina postures. Two stiff parents stared into the camera, not smiling, and they each had a firm hand on a shoulder of the boy in the middle, who I presumed was Taehyung. They all wore semi-formal wear, even the children, who couldn't have possibly been in high school yet.
Taehyung was a teenager and he had black hair that was styled down in a straight, side-swept fringe. His nose was like his mother's; it was on the thinner side and with a decently high nose bridge and ridge. He had plump, rosy lips that seemed like a combination of both his parents'-they were delicate like his mother's but wide like his father's. His eyes were sharp and unnerving, but they lacked a certain emotional component that I couldn't quite place. They had a wild, primal quality to them, as if he was a newly-anesthetized animal.
I recognized those crazed eyes, though. I recognized that tall nose, the plump lips. I recognized him.
Kim Taehyung was V.
I stared in shock, gaping at the thick picture paper. It was strange to realize that he had a real, normal name. I felt like I was violating his privacy, just finding a piece of his past like that. In that one moment, I had discovered his real name and what his family looked like. I had gotten to know Taehyung in one glance, as opposed to the time I had spent with V and still not knowing what he was like.
"Taehyung, stop!" I shouted, folding and tucking the picture into my pocket with one hand. Honestly, I just wanted to try saying his name. I wanted to feel it roll off my tongue, and I wanted to get used to it, because I felt like I could pretend that I had loved a normal boy named Taehyung that way.
V stopped his frenzy and glanced at me with crazed eyes. He was breathing hard, and tears were streaming down his face. I couldn't help but wonder how he had turned from the slightly deranged boy that was my age to the complete sociopath he was now. What had he done to himself?
"O-Oh my God, are you okay?" I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Why are you crying?"
"It's all your fault!" V screamed, shoving me away from him. I stumbled back, watching him through fearful eyes. What was happening? It didn't seem like he was mad because I had left the basement, so why?
"Wh-What do you-?"
"You let me down!" V shrieked, pulling a handgun from his belt without warning. Cocking the gun, he pointed it towards me, his hands shaking from fury. Immediately, adrenaline shot into my veins, and I felt my vision tunnel around the firearm. Had I just ruined my one opportunity at escape?
"I don't understand!" I cried, backing up with my hands raised high. "What did I do wrong?"
V kept advancing, and I kept backing up until the backs of my heels hit the wall. The gun was mere inches from my forehead, and I had nowhere else to go. I was literally sitting on the windowsill of an open window. If I tried falling backwards out of the window, I'd either fall too slowly and get shot or die by impact.
I looked wildly behind me. Where there any options? Other mansions surrounded V's, but would anyone be looking out a window that specifically had me in view in their huge houses? Could someone see this scene and call the police? The chances were too slim, and a bullet to the head would be less painful than breaking bones.
But you have to survive and get home.
"Please, V!" I pleaded. "Tell me what I did! I love you!"
The last phrase sounded like it was being ripped from my throat. I didn't have any protection except for those words, "I love you." It was my shield, but I didn't know if it would work. Could I access V's emotions by will?
"You have failed me!" V shouted, his hand shaking as he held the black weapon. "You were my last hope, Jungkook!"
"I..." I had nothing to say. Telling him the truth that he was human would be suicide. There was no way out of this one. I was trapped. "I tried, V. I tried my best."
"And you still weren't good enough," V spat. "You're supposed to be golden, Jungkook, but you still let me down."
"Just wait longer, please," I whimpered, my eyes spilling over with fearful tears as I saw my window of opportunity close before me. I had risked it all for nothing. "Run more tests. Put me through more experiments."
"I've already done it all!" V yelled, stomping his feet impatiently. "I've gotten all the data, but they still weren't pleased with me. I'm still here, aren't I?"
"Maybe it's because I love you?" I ventured, my voice trembling. "You can stay with me, Taehyung."
V's eyes narrowed. I felt them lock with mine and burn into my very essence. He was angry, and he was murderous. I had just triggered something, hadn't I? Dread began trickling into the pit of my stomach.
"I have never related to the name Taehyung," he snarled. "That is a pathetic name for a pathetic species."
Taehyung was gone. V had oppressed and crushed his former identity whole, and I realized that now he was not human at all. I wished that I had fallen for Taehyung. I knew that I had spent much time clinging onto the notion that V still had a empathetic, human side, but now I knew that it was all gone. Everything that had made V Taehyung had been erased with force, and I was only interacting with a shell of who he used to be.
"God, V, I love you," I mumbled, sadness deflating my insides. The fear that had coursed through my veins mere seconds ago had been momentarily paused so that I could mourn Taehyung. He was dead and gone, and I had to come to terms that I had fallen in love with a monster. "Please don't do this to me."
I heard a crashing noise, and I shut my eyes with a heavy heart. This was it. I was getting shot by the one that I loved. My life was over before I could restart it.
But I was still conscious, and I was still alive. I opened my eyes and saw that police officers had swarmed the room, and now five officers had V surrounded. I gaped in shock, casting a quick glance at V for a second. He wore a grim expression, but his eyes were still steely with determination.
"Drop the gun, sir," the lead officer ordered with a sturdy voice. "Let Jeon Jungkook go."
"You... You dare interrupt an exchange between my subject and I?" V seethed, his eyes now glowing with rage. His gun remained pointed at my head. "This is none of your business, human. Jeon Jungkook will die, and you will not interfere."
I heard a shot ring out, and I sighed internally. Now, it was really time to die. I'd never see my family again. I physically braced myself for the bullet to enter my brain, but it never happened.
Instead, V collapsed in front of me, blood drenching the front of his shirt where the bullet had entered, in his abdomen.
"O-Oh my God, V!" I screamed, dropping to my knees immediately. I lifted up his shirt, only to see a bloody pit in his stomach, the faintest sheen of metal glittering in the daylight at the very bottom. Oh God, I thought, holding back a heave. My eyes squeezed shut, and I moved the shirt back down before reopening my eyes again.
"Sir, step away from him!" an officer shouted, rushing forward, but I ignored him.
Even though V was going to kill me, I still loved him. It was sick and twisted, just like him, but maybe that just meant that I was sick and twisted too. After all, what normal person develops Stockholm Syndrome and falls in love with their mentally-ill kidnapper? I couldn't stop my tears from streaming down my face, and a pained shriek escaped my mouth. My heart wrenched in all directions as I saw the life begin to fade from V's eyes. They had softened significantly, but I still recognized the wily glare he had always donned. V was still with me.
"V, no," I gasped, my breaths uneven and loud, "please don't go! I love you s-so much!"
I felt the strong officer's arms wrap around my torso as he tried to drag me away, but I kicked free and fell back to my dying lover's side. V turned his head and immediately winced. I whimpered in empathy.
I faintly heard a gun cocking from behind me. I turned to see the same officer aiming a gun at V's head. My eyes widened.
"No!" I screamed with all the voice I had. "Don't kill him! I love him!"
He didn't shoot.
"You..." The officer was at a loss for words. It wasn't every day that an idol proclaimed his homosexual love for his dying kidnapper, and it showed on his face.
"Please," I begged him, my voice quavering with desperation. "Let me... Let me spend his last moments by his side. Let me say everything that I've wanted to say for so long but couldn't."
"N-No, Jungkook, don't," V whispered, his voice leaving him slowly. "Let me go."
I was aware that I was clenching V's hand in mine with all my physical might. I squeezed harder, giving him a look of determination. His dying face was burning a mental image into my head.
"I love you so much, V," I cried. "I know that you've put me through so much shit, but I can't help it! And now... And now, I can't live without you. P-Please, don't leave me. I need you."
V smiled wistfully, his eyes becoming more and more distant and glazed with death. I tightened my grip on his hand. I couldn't let him go. Not now.
"Don't you get it, Kookie?" he asked, his expression serene. He returned the hand squeeze, though it was weak. "I'm going home now."
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He wanted to die now. V was going to leave me.
"Please!" I pleaded, more tears flowing down my face as I gasped and struggled against my inner turmoil. "You said you loved me!"
"I do," he murmured hoarsely. "I love you, Jungkook, but I don't belong here. We both know that. Let me go home."
Let me go home.
I started sobbing again, and my heart had never ached more, not even when I was first kidnapped. Losing someone forever was not something I could cope with. I cried for myself, my life, and V. I felt sorry for V, and I couldn't do anything to help him except let him die. He had never been meant for life, but yet I had still fallen in love with him. I had fallen in love with someone who would never find happiness in being alive, someone who was destined to die early.
"Where am I supposed to go?" I demanded through miserable hiccups. "Things won't go back to the way they were. I'll be left out, V. You're the only home I have now."
We locked eyes for a moment, mine bleary and red and puffy, his glazing over and struggling to focus. I searched the depths of the dark-colored spheres to find something, anything, to let me know that everything was going to be okay. I found nothing. I just noticed that it was getting increasingly hard to discern any emotion from his eyes, and that was scaring me.
"Officer..." V looked behind me, at the officer who was still holding his gun. "You can shoot me now."
To me, with the last breath of life he had in him, he whispered, "Thank you. I'm finally going home, Jungkook. Thank you."
I shut my eyes and screamed, trying to drown out the gunshot with my voice.