The bed was so much bigger without him lying next to her. The exotic quilt of various colors and shapes wrapped around her like a warm shield, as if it were protecting her from every evil. This feeling was typical to her, due to the many countless nights she'd slept through the night alone without Howl by her side.
This time was no different - except for her new nightmare.
The same nightmare she had had for weeks. It was the kind of horror that woke Sophie up halfway through the night, her heart beating so hard it was bound to break through its rib cage prison. And every time, Howl was there to comfort her.
But not this time.
When Sophie jolted up panting and sweating for the third time that night, she knew it was futile to try returning to her slumber. She shivered as she threw the covers off, exposing herself to the bone chilling room. She walked quietly down the stairs in her fuzzy slippers, hoping no one could hear her creeping through the still house.
Calcifer's fire was mute, but still active. He rarely slept; it was part of being a fire demon, where sleeping was a luxury he could enjoy if he chose – which made it all the more difficult to sneak out to the front room.
The floorboards squeaked like scared, baby chipmunks as she walked toward the front door. Calcifer reached for another log as she passed him. "The dream again?"
"Yup." She walked down the stairs and, as silently as possible, opened the front door and closed it.
Calcifer had seen Sophie rush downstairs time and time again after the nightmare. He often stayed awake so she wouldn't have to live that nightmare alone, but she was also a very stubborn woman. Under no circumstances would she reveal the events of the dream, albeit his mentioning of dreams being a form of a magic that even humans were able to control.
As much as he yearned to know the specifics, Calcifer was at least aware of the fact that it scared her to the point where sleep was only wishful thinking.
She sat on the first step and stared at the early morning sky, too early for the sun to have awakened. It was strange; dreams hadn't haunted her since she was a child, and now they were taking over her slumber. It wasn't until her anxieties heightened did she feel a true fear for her subconscious. For a long time, her only concerns were an eccentric mother, two preppy sisters, and a lonely hat shop.
The moment Howl entered her life, things went from simple to overbearing.
She rested both of her palms on the scratchy, concrete step. Every morning, eight o'clock on the dot, she would stumble out of bed and get ready for the day. Eggs and toast for breakfast - bacon if she felt optimistic. The shop opened at nine and the girls were ready to work the second she flipped the open sign.
That was her life for three years, an endless, robotic do-as-your-told life. Sophie never disagreed with her mother. The store opened when Honey wanted it to; the store closed when Honey wanted it to; and Sophie would work there as long as Honey needed her, until the day she was expected to marry.
That day never came, and then Howl swept her away on a neverending, magical journey.
Sophie sighed. As much as she loved her mother, Honey always had to be in control - especially when it came to her daughters. Lettie was smart; she applied at the bakery because mother knew the owner, and she knew the job was hers the minute she walked in. Honey only agreed because Lettie was bringing in more money there.
Sophie hadn't seen her baby sister, Martha, in years. Honey sent her to a boarding school, hoping she would find some wonderful prince or duke or anyone royal to take her hand. Sophie was the first to actually break away from her mother's reins and be with someone she truly loved, not someone with whom mother would have been proud to see her daughter. Sophie knew she would have a heart attack if she saw Sophie living with an infamous wizard.
Especially not the wizard Honey intended her to marry.
She wondered how Honey reacted when Lettie told her the news of her engagement to the Prince. Sophie could see her face light up and wedding plans already buzzing in her head. Lettie hadn't mentioned their mother during any of their excursions for the wedding, which seemed odd since the mother of the bride was normally the one who took the bride-to-be shopping.
Her eyes started to droop and flitter - open and close, open close. Nothing made sense anymore. Her mother, her sister, and especially Howl. She still wasn't exactly sure of Justin's reasons for marrying her sister. And who knew what Suliman was up to these days? Everything a puzzle that Sophie just couldn't figure out.
A harsh breeze blew in her direction, pushing her silver hair back above her ears. She shivered and crossed her arms over her chest. Part of Sophie refused to believe that someone like Justin could frighten her, but now he had shown a side of himself she never knew existed. Maybe his royalty was finally getting to his head and he assumed that he could do whatever he wanted.
Sophie yawned as her eyes continued to flutter, so she rested her chin in the palm of her hand. Her eyes stayed closed. It was easier to shut them than use what little strength she had left to keep them open. She didn't even mind the chilly weather; all she cared about was the empty promise of a restful sleep.
. ❀ 。• * ₊ ° 。❀ ° 。
Sophie woke up with the sun glaring at her. She squinted and covered her eyes, wondering how long she had been out. She had fallen asleep on the steps while it was still dark, but now she pushed her hands on the plushness of their living room couch. Her eyes widened as she realized she was inside, and the sun's glare shone through the windows. She turned to Calcifer, who gestured to the figure behind her.
The man she saw scared her half to death.
Sitting at the dining room table like he hadn't been gone for almost a week, Howl held a coffee mug while he read today's newspaper. Sophie stared at him, her eyes stone cold, as he lightly smiled and continued reading.
"Good morning, sunshine." Howl said between flipping the page. "I figured you'd want to keep sleeping, but the steps outside didn't seem like the most comfortable setting."
Sophie took a moment to return to reality. Howl was here. Home at last. Maybe for good, maybe not. Learning from experience, there was hardly a word she could trust out of Howl's mouth. Likewise, she wouldn't let sweet talking get him out of it, etiehr.
Howl gulped the remainder of his coffee and sighed with delight. He folded the newspaper and threw it in the nearby trash can before leaning on the couch, so close to Sophie's face they were practically kissing.
His eyes were a deceitful bliss. "I missed you."
Sophie narrowed turned away, forcing herself not to succumb to his flattery. "I'm surprised you came back this early. Are you sure you're not just making a pit stop before running off again?"
Howl sighed and lowered his head. "Look, Sophie. I know I rushed out and didn't give you an explanation, but I'm ready to tell you now."
Sophie laughed. "Yeah, okay." She stood up and walked toward the staircase, leaving Howl in the living room. Halfway up the stairs, Howl appeared and blocked her from moving up.
"Please, Sophie. You have no idea how important this is to me."
"You're right; I don't." Sophie crossed her arms. "Since you never tell me anything nowadays, I'm in the dark about a lot of things that go on in your life."
Howl shook his head. "Not true. You know everything about me."
"I don't know where you were, who you were with, or why you even left in the first place." She listed these off with the fingers on her hand. "So no, I don't know everything. Stop pretending like I do."
She pushed him to the side and rushed to their bedroom. Her goal was to dress quickly and leave before he could defend himself again.
She locked the door, knowing it would only buy her a couple seconds. In the short time, Sophie managed to take off her nightgown and slippers before Howl appeared in their room. The fact that her undergarments were the only pieces covering her body didn't phase Howl or Sophie in the slightest. She continued dressing as he spoke.
"Just give me a chance to explain."
"You had your chance." Sophie spat as she slid hanger after hanger down the row searching for the right dress to wear. "Now if you don't mind, I have somewhere to be and I need to be there soon."
Howl scrunched his face in an odd suspicion. "Where do you have to be this early in the morning?"
Sophie smirked and turned around, a soft yellow dress in hand. "I'm sorry, Howl. You'll just have to trust me."
Howl breathed in heavily, clenching his fists at his side. Sophie pulled the dress over her head and grabbed the hairbrush to remove the knots. Howl stared at her with narrow eyes, hoping she would end this argument already and accept his proposition. She turned around and matched his gaze, holding her own, so finally he gave up.
"Fine." He sighed. "When you return, we need to talk."
He disappeared and Sophie was alone in the room. She brushed out the last knot, set it back on the dresser, and finished her morning routine. She had more important business to take care of, anyway. If he didn't have time to tell her why he left from the beginning, then she shouldn't have to explain her reasons either.
. ❀ 。• * ₊ ° 。❀ ° 。
Howl sat at the dining room table, his fists pushing down into the table. Sophie had walked out a few minutes prior. She strolled right past him, barely uttering a goodbye on her way out. He knew she was upset about his abrupt decision to leave again, but it hadn't crossed his mind that she would turn around and do the same against him.
He hated leaving her in the dark about his mission; it tore him apart. Every day that he was off working in secret, Sophie was at his core. On the many occasions where he believed it was the end, she became his reason to fight back in the hopes of returning home safely. He hated leaving her behind.
Now, Howl wondered if she felt the same way, too, about whatever it was that she claimed was so important.
Howl pushed off of the table and stood up, pacing back and forth in the living room. He finally returned from what he believed would be his last mission and Sophie wouldn't even give him the time of day. Markl welcomed him with open arms and Calcifer even offered to heat up the bath. The Witch of the Wastes came out of her hidden cave to greet him - though that wasn't necessarily a surprise from her.
Sophie was the only one making his return a burden. If he wanted to win back her trust, he would need to admit the details of this mission. He was done hiding.
"You know Sophie. She'll come around." Calcifer said.
Howl laughed. "I also know how stubborn she is. This won't be an easy apology." He walked toward the couch and fell over, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't even know why this is such a big deal to her. I've gone on plenty of missions without giving her the specifics. I didn't think one more would be this big of an issue."
"She doesn't feel important to you." Calcifer replied. "You leave without saying when you'll be back, yet you expect her to stay home all the time like a bored housewife. In a way, you take her for granted."
Howl darted his eyes to the fire demon, scrunching his nose. "I do not. I love Sophie."
Calcifer crossed his fiery arms. "And you like a clean house, an obedient fire demon, and a home cooked meal three times a day."
Howl pointed to him. "I always cook when I'm home."
"I wish you wouldn't." Calcifer snorted. Howl raised his eyebrows, so he rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. You're an amazing cook."
Howl shook his head and turned back to face the ceiling. "What am I doing wrong?"
Calcifer shrugged. "Maybe you're not that intimate with her."
Howl bulged his eyes. That was a private conversation only between him and Sophie. Calcifer had no right to intervene in that discussion. "Excuse me, but we have very intimate moments, not that you need to know."
Calcifer raised his eyebrows. "Have you two done it yet?"
Howl's cheeks reddened and he darted his eyes in every direction aside from where the fire demon sat. His words blurted in a stuttering mess. "Th-that is uh... a very personal question that I... we- that I am not comfortable answering."
"I'll take that as a no, then."
Howl sighed. Calcifer knew they hadn't taken that step yet. He had seen Howl's after sex face - it was cocky and over confident, but whenever he and Sophie came downstairs in the morning, he gave her light kisses and his visage was calm.
Howl sighed. "Well it's she who doesn't want to. I've suggested it, but she says she wants to wait until marriage, like some proper traditionalist. I respect her decision, of course, but my goodness it's tough."
Calcifer blinked. In all that he spoke, the answer was in plain sight. It was as if he knew Sophie better than the wizard who was dating her -and it clearly explained why she always turned down Prince Justin's proposals. "Do I have to spell that out for you?"
"Please do."
Calcifer groaned. "Are you blind?" Howl looked up at him, Calcifer's flames rising and changing to a red-orange color. "She wants you to propose, you moron!"
Howl sat up straight. "What? Sophie wants me to propose? Like marriage?"
"Yes!"
"How was I supposed to get that from what she said?"
Calcifer tried to control his anger, though his flames burned a bloody red. "That was as plain and simple as it gets, Howl! My goodness, how does she put up with you?"
The wizard rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know if I'm ready to go that far."
Calcifer cocked a fiery eyebrow upward. "So you're ready to have sex but not marry the woman who's been living with you for a year now? The one who faced demons and maniacal creatures in order to keep you and all of us safe?"
Howl bobbed his head back and forth. "Eh, we have time to figure out all the nitty gritty stuff. Marriage is all contractual and paperwork - human stuff I don't want to deal with. And it's not like she's interested in anyone else. I just need some time to think about it."
Calcifer thought about all of Prince Justin's proposals, how each time Sophie turned him down lightly in commitment to Howl. It wasn't like she had no options of her own - although, maybe not anymore with Lettie's engagement. Nevertheless, if Howl wasn't committed to her at this point, the fire demon wondered if he ever would.
"You need to commit to her before she finds someone else." Howl turned to him, noting the seriousness in Calcifer's tone. "If you don't propose soon, someone else might."
As Howl prepared his retort, they heard a gurgling flush come from the bathroom. The door opened, revealing a man Howl was all too familiar with. He wiped his mouth clean of the repugnant residue and cleared his throat before speaking. "Uh, I think I broke the toilet. Sorry."
. ❀ 。• * ₊ ° 。❀ ° 。
Sophie sat in the waiting room at the Royal Palace. This would be her second visit this week, more than most people get in a lifetime. Some would count her lucky, but lately the Palace was more horrifying than the Wastes. She felt the walls closing in and trapping her inside, the doors locked shut with no way to escape. She feared the Palace, but she feared the people living there even more.
Sophie had left home hours ago and the Palace had made her wait a long time. It was past lunchtime by the time an escort came. Instead of taking her to the Throne Room, however, he led her to a secret passage entryway she had only gone through once before.
"Madame Suliman will see you now."
Sophie jumped back in surprise. "Madame Suliman? I–I came here to see Prince Justin."
"He is away on business with King Roland. You may speak with Madame Suliman in their place." Before Sophie could resist, the guard waltzed away, leaving Sophie to follow the rabbit hole down to Suliman's retreat.
Sophie took slow, easy steps, hoping to prolong this kind of visit. She had seen her in the papers a few times, mainly after the war had ended. Everyone named her as the leading sorceress who convinced King Roland that the war was pointless with Justin's return, and somehow he agreed with her.
Sophie didn't believe that for a second, knowing very well he used his own brother's disappearance to gain control of the neighboring lands. They even seized a few towns to the east during the process while Market Chipping and Porthaven rained in fire. Whenever the King had a chance to go to war, he always took that opportunity to expand, and Suliman was more than willing to abide.
This would be the first time seeing Suliman face to face in over a year.
When Sophie entered the large, glass room, she backed up slightly. Suliman sat in her chair, staring out the windows to the garden. Her large, manicured hairstyle matched her exquisite attire. A golden, maroon robe graced her and she held her magicians' staff with a certain peculiarity. Slowly, she turned to Sophie wearing a smug grin.
"Sophie, my dear, so nice to see you again." Suliman said, elongating her words as far out as she could reach. She gestured to the chair standing directly across from her with a gentle wave. "Please, sit."
Sophie nodded slightly and made her way to Suliman. She gulped as she took a seat, barely five feet away from the sorceress who almost killed her and Howl on multiple occasions. Her dark eyes stared into Sophie's, emotionless. She still looked the same as Sophie remembered – aged and heartless.
"You look well." The sorceress continued. "It's been ages since we last saw each other."
Sophie narrowed her eyes. "For good reason."
Suliman laughed softly. "Oh, Sophie. Little do you know."
"I think I know enough to avoid you at all costs."
"And yet you're here. Again, I might add."
Sophie jolted in her seat. "J-Justin told you I came to see him."
"He didn't have to." Suliman gestured to the wall of glass. "I can see everything I need to right through here."
"Of course." Sophie said, as if she should have expected such an answer. "And if you didn't want me to see you, you'd use your magic to hide." After all the time she spent watching Markl and Howl practice their magic, all the tricks and deceptions they mastered, Sophie was slow to realize the depth of power these people truly had.
Suliman raised her chin with the back of her index finger. "So, why have you returned to see Prince Justin again? Having second thoughts about Howl?"
"Howl is the reason I'm here." Sophie stood up straight, hoping to find a new confidence to combat the woman. "You and the entire kingdom are wrongfully accusing him of something he didn't do. You should know; Heen was your spy dog, after all."
Suliman gritted her teeth. "Yes, that traitorous little mutt. How is he, by the way?"
"Better than when he worked for you."
Suliman laughed. "That's what you think." She stood up from her chair and walked slowly toward the glass wall, her staff clinking on the ground with each step. "And Howl? He's well too, I presume?"
"Leave us alone, Suliman." Sophie said through clenched teeth. "You have everything you could possibly want; you're the King's Royal Sorceress. You have more magic than most magicians could ever dream of having, and you did unspeakable things to achieve it all. What else is there to take?"
Suliman stared out the window for quite some time, her hands folded behind her back. Sophie stood still, save for her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. When Suliman turned to her, Sophie gulped loudly.
Suliman smirked in delight. "I don't have everything. Much of my heart's desires were taken away years ago. I wonder if it ever crosses your mind, dear Sophie."
"I'm sorry." Sophie bowed her head; this time, in actual respect. "I didn't mean to bring up those memories of him. And yes, I have thought about him, but my life is completely different now. There's nothing that can change the fact."
Suliman turned away, for the first time shielding true human emotion. "No one ever has everything that they desire. But you would know that more than anyone, am I correct?"
Sophie bobbed her head back. "What do you mean by that?"
Suliman walked toward her and Sophie retreated until she fell back into the chair. Suliman leaned forward, mere inches from her face. She lightly grabbed her left hand, holding it between their faces. "Yes, your life has indeed strayed from the path you were destined. Yet I don't see a ring on this finger. What is Howl waiting for?"
Sophie crinkled her eyebrows downward and pulled her hand away. "That is personal information and I don't have to mention anything of the sort."
"Very well." Suliman sighed and turned around, walking back to her chair. In her old age, it took her quite some time to ease into a sitting position, while still holding her sorcerer's staff. "I take it Howl is still hiding from me, and you won't give away your secret hideout for fear of what my court will do to your... beloved."
"He didn't do anything wrong."
"Oh, because you know him so well."
"I do!" Sophie's voice cracked, causing Suliman to cackle. "Howl isn't the man you trained him to be anymore. He's a good person, and an even better wizard."
"And you believe that is because of you?"
"He's a changed person."
"Because of you."
"Because he is, Suliman!" Sophie shouted. "Sure, I believe I've helped change him, but he's done the majority on his own. Now do us a favor and stay away. We don't have anything you want."
"Not yet." Suliman said. Sophie breathed in deeply, her heart pounding hard. "But you will soon. My regards to Howl. I believe this will not be the last we see of each other."
"Wait, what do you–" Suliman tapped her staff on the ground twice, and before Sophie could finish, she was no longer in the Kingsbury Palace.