I was quietly crying in my room. School was horrible today. I got beaten up again, as always. Why can't they just leave me alone? Every inch of my body hurt. My face was bloody, my eye was swollen again. This took away all my motivation. Deep inside I had the need to die but I was trying to fight it. I couldn't die because I loved him. My love for him kept me alive.
Suddenly I heard steps. I was supposed to be home alone for a month. My room door opened and he walked in. „Mark?" he said with his deep and low voice. „Michel? Why are you here? The beating in school wasn't enough?" I said with even more tears rolling down my cheeks and I was scared again. I looked away from him so that he wouldn't see my tears. It was dark in my room. Thank god!
He started to speak: "Mark, I-I-I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I heard a sob. He was crying. The school's Kicker-Michel was crying? Here, in my room? He walked to my bed and sat down next to me. He put his hand on my cheek and I jumped of the pain.
He turned my face to him. I looked down and he raised my head. "Mark, look at me. Please." He said sobbing. I looked in his brown eyes. "Why do I have to look at you?" I asked. He carefully wiped my tears from my cheek. "Because I need to see what I did to you." he said quietly sobbing. He turned on my little light on my wall and looked at me. I didn't know what to do. He looked at every inch of my face.
Suddenly he stood up and walked out of my door. I didn't even know that I've stopped crying but now I felt tears in my eyes again. I laid down on my bed and started sobbing. I turned my back on the door and started crying. Not even quietly anymore. It was a loud cry.
Suddenly he was next to me. "Shh. What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "Everything. It's just a joke right? Oh let's make fun of the gay dude. You don't even know how much you fucking hurt me. I have feelings for you Michel. Feelings. And you are just beating me up every single day..." He was quiet and put his hand next to my face. I was ready for him to punch me but he took some tissues and wiped off the dry blood from my lips and nose. I didn't know what to do. I thought to myself:" It must be a dream. It's not true" He wiped little too hard under my eye and I screamed. He jumped and started to apologize. I just stayed silent. I closed my eyes because I felt like crying.
Suddenly I felt something on my lips. I opened my eyes and saw Michel kissing me. I kissed back.
He stopped the kissing and said:" It's not a joke Mark. It's not. I swear. I really do care about you. And it's okay if you want me to go. It's okay. I deserve your hate after all I've done to you" He started to sob again. I just stared at him. He stood up and started to walk away from me and soon he was out of my room. I stood up and ran. I ran down the stares because he was already at the front door. I yelled "Michel!" and suddenly I collapsed. I heard him scream "MARK"
I woke up and it was dark. I looked around me and I saw that I was in my room. Something moved. Someone was holding me close. I turned and saw Michel next to me. He had his one hand under the pillow I was sleeping on and the other hand was around my waist. I felt my head ache. I saw bloody tissues next to my bed.
"Why are these bloody? Why is Michel still here?" I whispered. I felt Michel move and I quickly closed my eyes. He tightened his crip around my waist. I heard him breath quietly. I thought that he was asleep but suddenly he started to talk quietly. "Mark, I hope you are okay. You scared me but my mom checked you and said that you are okay. You just need some rest." I felt him kiss my head and then my neck. He continued talking. "You mean so much to me. I wish I could take back every single punch, kick, bad word but I can't. But I can make sure that you are protected now. I'm gay and I'm in love with you Mark." He took his hand off my waist. He tried to stand up but I quickly turned and pretended to be asleep and put my hands over him. I felt him put his arm around my shoulders and he covered us with my Batman blanket. He kissed my forehead and I fell asleep just like that. Being in the arms of the guy who I've been in love with.