Luke spent the first two days of his weekend doing what he does best: freaking out.
He was a fidgety, anxious, and apprehensive mess for the majority of Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday morning for two reasons. The first reason was the fact that Ashton had seen him sitting next to Sam at the game on Friday. Although Liz had said to make sure Ashton sees Luke with Sam to push his buttons a little, Luke didn't actually want that to happen. Luke wanted to hang out with Sam to get it over with, unseen, so he could clean up the mess he had made between them a week before. But, now that Ashton knew, Luke wasn't expecting to make it out of school alive come Monday morning.
The second reason why Luke was currently sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall as his left knee went crazy, was because he's supposed to go over to Sam's house later today. As promised, he was going to help her catch up in chemistry since he had backed out of it on Thursday. And as much as Luke would like to think he can handle being around her, he knows he still can't.
He loves Sam a lot, maybe a little too much for what she thinks of him as, but he just couldn't help it. Luke has had a crush on his worst enemy's girlfriend since the 7th grade; being around her destroyed Luke's nerves every time.
Once again, Luke spent a lot of time getting ready for today. He took a shower, shaved the stubble from his face, and even made his mom iron his t-shirt so there'd be no chance of it getting wrinkled between now and 3:00. Paired with some black skinny jeans and white converse, Luke hoped Sam would find him the least bit cool.
"Luke?" Liz came knocking on the door a few minutes later, peeking her head into Luke's bedroom. She held the home phone in her hand. "It's your dad."
Luke's father has a pretty shit job. Not because he can't pay the bills or anything, but because he's always away on business trips. As a well-respencted entrepreneur, Luke's dad is like an older brother thats going to college across the country: he's only ever home during the holidays. If Luke's lucky.
Luke doesn't tell anybody, especially his family, but he really doesn't appreciate the fact that his dad is never around. As much as he loves his mom, Luke sometimes wished that he could have his dad around all the time to teach him how to deal with his problems. Liz's ways aren't always so effective.
"Oh," Luke sat up and caught the phone when Liz tossed it to him, holding it up to his ear. "Hello?"
"Hey bud!" Luke's dad said happily. "We haven't spoken in a while. How are you?"
"I'm g-good," Luke stuttered, digging his foot into the carpet. Liz walked away and gently closed the door behind her. "How are you? And...and where are you, exactly?"
"I've been alright," he responded. "I'm currently in...uh, lets see. After traveling around for so long I tend to forget where I am half the time."
He let out a hardy chuckle. Luke didn't so much as crack a smile. "Ah! Yes, I'm in LA right now. How could I ever forget?"
"What are you doing there?" Luke asked in a monotone voice. Luke has never been to the west coast, and he was curious to know what it was like, but he also wanted to get back to what he was doing before his dad called.
"Just uh, some work things," his father said lightly. "Trying to catch a tan at the same time. It's much harder than it seems, Luke. Remember that if you ever come here."
"I sure will, dad."
"Thats my boy. So. How's that girl?"
Luke gulped. "You mean Sam?"
"Yes, that was her name. Sam..." he said, his voice dragging out the last word. "You still stalking her ass every day?"
He laughed again. Luke didn't say a word.
After his laughter died down, Luke's dad must've realized that his son didn't find his words all that humorous. "...Are you?" he asked, clearing his throat.
"No." Luke said angrily, balling his bed sheets between his fist. "I never stalked her, dad. I just have a crush on her."
With a burst of sour encouragement, Luke sat up straight and rolled his shoulders back, puffing his chest out like Ashton always did. "In fact, I'm going to her house in about an hour."
Luke's dad seemed surprised. "What? Really?"
"Yeah," Luke spat. "I'm her chemistry tutor."
"Chemistry?" his father whined, followed by a few tsk's. "Dang it, Luke. You can't get anywhere if your talking about chemistry."
Luke was down right offended. Chemistry is his specialty, and pretty much the only way Luke will ever talk to the love of his life. Isn't that enough for his dad?
"Well...well," he was struggling to find the right comeback. "Well actually, for your information, dad, we have a lot of chemistry. Romantic chemistry. Yeah, that's right. That's why I'm her chemistry tutor. Get it?"
His father was silent for a while. "...Really."
"Listen, dad. I have to go," Luke stood up and started pacing around his bedroom. "I - I don't have any romantic chemistry with her, okay? Just let me figure it out."
Luke's dad sighed, and began to go off on a long, drawn-out goodbye, but Luke didn't have the patience to listen. He hung up and threw the phone onto this bed, groaning as he kicked the wall in frustration. He grabbed his car keys and stormed out of his room. "I'm going, mom!"
Liz walked out of the kitchen as Luke entered the living room. "Right now?" she asked. "Did you talk to your father?"
"Yes, and he's a dick now."
"Luke!"
"What?" he whined, stomping his foot. "He was making fun of me and Sam!"
Liz started toying around with the dishrag she clutched in her hands. "Why?"
"Because, like I said, he's a dick." Luke turned and yanked the front door open. "I'm going to Chick-Fil-A."
Luke stormed out of his house and pressed the button on his keys as he made it to the driveway, unlocking is black Jeep. He's had this car forever but he usually never drives it. Because, well, let's face it: he never really has anywhere to go.
Blasting Pierce The Veil to help him connect with his inner teen angst, Luke drove to the Chick-Fil-A with his fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel.
His dad's comments really got to him, as they have been for a while, now. He can't really remember what his dad was like when he was little, but Luke was aware that his father has definitely changed over the years. He didn't let it get to him because he didn't see the point; he never sees his dad, anyways.
-
Luke decided to use the drive-thru today. He spent a good 45 minutes in the Chic-Fil-A parking lot, sitting in his car as he ate a chicken sandwich and listened to his music on shuffle.
He also creeped on all the popular kids' social media accounts, as that is ironically his favorite thing to do. Not because he was actually interested in their lives (minus Samantha), but because he liked to talk shit to make him feel better about himself.
He flipped through Sam's snapchat story first. The first part was a video from last night: she was sitting in the passenger seat of Ashton's car as they drove down the highway (traveling way over the speed limit, Luke might add), blasting Fetty Wap with the windows down.
"Ashton's such a fuckboy." Luke muttered to himself.
The next part was a video of Sam laying down at the foot of Ashton's bed, zooming up on his face until he laughed and told her to stop. "...Aw, you're so cute together!" Luke yelled, his voice muffled by the burger he kept stuffing into his mouth. "So fucking cute!"
He shoved the rest of his chicken sandwich into his mouth out of anger. "That chicken was fucking delicious." he muttered as he started the car, turning the radio back on. He pulled out of the Chick-Fil-A parking lot and started heading west to get to Sam's house.
It didn't take him long to cross their small town and enter Sam's upper-class neighborhood. Luke turned his music down as he drove up the hill, skidding onto Cedar Street. He stuck his tongue out as he passed by Ashton's massive house, and then came to a gentle stop next to Sam's mailbox.
He sat in his car for a few minutes. Even though it was exactly 3:30, he wanted to make it look like he was a few minutes late.
Eventually, Luke puffed out a nervous sigh and got out of his car, jogging up the steps of Sam's front porch. He knocked on the door and stepped back, sticking his hands into his front pockets.
Sam opened the door a few moments later, her face lighting up at the sight of him standing there on her porch. "Hi! Welcome!" she said sweetly.
Her little body struggled to pull her huge front door open. "Come in, come in." she said over and over again as she tugged him inside. Luke still couldn't believe how much hospitality she has for him. Usually people just disregard Luke's presence like he's a piece of dirt, but Sam always acts like seeing Luke is the highlight of her day. He really appreciated it.
Luke stepped inside, but instantly backed up against the door as he looked around her massive living room. There was construction paper taped down to the walls, strips of plastic covering the furniture, and the whole mansion smelled like chemicals.
Sam gazed around the room with Luke, before letting out a quiet chuckle. "Yeah, about that," she said, scratching the back of her neck. "They're re-doing the floors down here. But we can go into my room instead!"
She started to lead the way towards the stairs, but Luke stood frozen where he was, stunned. Her bedroom? Sam was OK with Luke sitting in her bedroom?
"You comin'?" Sam asked as she looked at her tutor over her shoulder. She grabbed onto the banister and waited for Luke to follow.
"What-?" Luke feverishly blinked his eyes, bringing his attention back to reality. He hurried after Sam and followed her up to the second floor, but his body was trembling the entire way up. He's only ever dreamed of what Sam's bedroom looked like (in the least creepy way possible, of course). He never thought he would actually get to go inside of it.
Sam's bedroom was the third door down the hall. It had a white door with a silver handle. As he stood behind her, waiting to be let inside, Luke thought he was going to collapse. He was so nervous, and he didn't even know why. It was just room, wasn't it?
Sam finally led the way inside. And when Luke stepped through the door, he stopped dead in his tracks. He gazed around with his jaw hitting the floor, for her bedroom was the complete opposite of what he could ever expect.
Her walls were a dark navy blue color, almost as dark as his bed sheets back home. The blankets on her bed were black, as was all the furniture. Expecting there to be nothing but pinks, purples, and various forms of glitter everywhere, Luke was very confused.
But what surprised him the most was what were hanging all over the walls. Above her bed was a giant All Time Low poster. On the wall next to her desk there were two more: one was the limited edition tour poster from Sleeping With Sirens' last North American tour. The other was a picture of Tonight Alive.
Luke turned to his left and saw a shelf of CDs leaned up against the wall. He could instantly recognize who's albums she had: Blink-182, The Maine, Panic! At The Disco, Being As An Ocean, A Day To Remember. Literally every single one of Luke's favorite bands were on display.
"Oh my God." he blurted out, averting his wide eyes back to Sam.
She stood there awkwardly, her face a look of discomfort. She seemed nervous about her room. "What?" she asked.
Luke was at a loss for words. He first pointed a shaky finger at the poster above her bed. "You...you like All Time Low?"
"Yeah, they - wait," Sam froze as well, narrowing her eyes at Luke. "Do you?"
"They're one of my favorites," Luke said, shaking his head in disbelief. "And...and -"
Sam jerked a thumb behind her, gesturing to her desk. "...Sleeping With Sirens?"
"Yes..."
Sam pointed to another wall. "And -"
"Yes!" Luke exclaimed. "All of these!"
He walked over to the shelf, pointing at the stacks of CDs. "All of these. You like all of these bands?"
"I...I fucking love them," Sam vigorously nodded her head. "Do you?"
"I listen t-to all of these," Luke stuttered. His next statement would be the ultimate test. "My... my favorite b-bands are Mayday Parade and Paramore."
Sam let out a loud, high-pitched squeal. "Dude!" she yelled as she rushed forward, whisking past Luke. She ran to the open door and slammed it shut, revealing a Paramore poster on the other side.
Finally, after waiting years for it to happen, Luke completely forgot about all the nerves that had been building up inside of him. In that moment, he seemed to forget who Sam was, what she meant to him, and how awkward he was around her.
They just stared at each other, blinking their eyes like they couldn't believe the other person. "Holy shit!" Luke said, finally breaking the silence. "I can't believe you -"
"I can't believe you!" Sam said, her face a look of pure amazement. She held her arms up like she was gesturing to her whole room. "Wait, let me get this straight. You listen to all of these guys?"
"Every single one of them," Luke replied as Sam ran up to him, grabbing him by the forearms.
"Luke! Do you know what this means?" she asked him, her green eyes widening as she shook him back and fourth.
Luke's eyes widened as well, but he was too lost to realize why. "No." he shook his head. "I don't."
Sam let out a laugh as she flung her arms around his waist, burying her face into his neck. "It means I finally found someone who actually likes good music!"
She pulled away and looked at Luke excitedly. "Come in!" she said again, pulling him to her bed. She plopped down on the edge of the mattress and started eagerly flipping through her chemistry binder. "I can't believe we never knew this until now."
Luke stood a few feet away, too scared to sit on her bed, and too amazed to even consider it. Out of all the people in the world, Sam was the very last person he'd ever expect to like the same bands as him. In terms of music, Luke thought he would always be a loner. He thought that nobody else liked his style of music...until he walked into Sam's bedroom, that is.
"Okay, I'm only changing the subject because I'm screwed for my quiz tomorrow," Sam spoke up again, patting the spot beside her for Luke to sit. "But we are discussing this right after you teach me how to balance chemical equations. Deal?"
Luke couldn't believe it. After admiring this girl from afar for years, eventually falling in love with her without the intention of ever telling her, they found a common interest in the thing that matters to Luke to most: music.
Luke felt the anxiety die down inside of him. He felt a certain weight being lifted from his shoulders that's been there since he met her. It was a feeling of relief that he hadn't felt in years.
Sam looked up, smiled at Luke, and Luke returned the favor as he sat down right next to her. "Deal."
-
"So, let me get this straight," Sam said as she rolled onto her side, staring at Luke across the bed. As she was laying down at the foot her mattress, Luke was sitting up against the wall beside her window. And as much as he was trying not to, all Luke could think about was how many times Ashton's probably fucked her right where he's sitting.
They finished their tutoring session about half an hour ago. Sam and Luke kind of rushed through the lesson without admitting it to each other, but it was really obvious they'd both rather to talk about music than chemistry.
"Shoot." Luke replied, waiting to hear what she had to ask.
"You were at that concert?" she asked, pointing at the Sleeping With Sirens poster from earlier. It dated back to last May, when they were both about to complete their junior year.
"Yeah." Luke nodded. "I was."
Sam blushed. "No fucking way," she laughed, burying her face into her hands. "I was there too!"
"Really?" Luke asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes! Second row, bitch!"
"Second?" Luke's jaw dropped as he leaned forward, staring at her in disbelief. "What, how?"
"Camped out for two days." Sam shrugged jokingly, brushing it off like it was no big deal.
They both shared a laugh as Luke ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "Damn. I was probably like, fifteenth row," he said, thinking back on the memory. "Thats amazing, though. That we were at the same concert."
"We've probably been to a lot of the same shows," Sam said as she sat up, crossing her legs. "Can you hand me a pillow?"
Luke grabbed a pillow from his right and tossed it across the bed. Sam caught it and propped herself against the bed frame, letting out a sigh of relief as she stared up at the ceiling. "You have no idea how happy I am about this, Luke."
Oh, you don't even know the half of it. Luke thought to himself. If anybody's overcome with joy to have found something in common between them, it was Luke. But, like Liz always says, he needs to play it cool. So, that's exactly what he did.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you're the only person I've ever met who actually likes these people," She replied, gesturing to all the band posters on the walls. "Like - I've never met somebody who even knows who Mayday Parade and Paramore are."
"Well. That sucks for everybody else. They're my all time favorites," he shrugged. "What about you?"
"My favorite band?" Sam asked, groaning when Luke nodded his head. "No! Do I have to pick one?"
"You can pick a few," Luke chuckled. "Come on, I wanna know your favorites. Like, which one of these bands really speak to you?"
Sam's face housed an adorable frown as she looked around her bedroom, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Hm... I'm gonna have to say All Time Low and A Day To Remember. They...speak to me."
She laughed. Luke grinned. "That's incredible," he said. "Like, seriously. That's so cool."
Sam is the most girly, pampered, and popular girl at Luke's school. At least, that's the way she's perceived as she walks down the halls everyday. The fact that she has this whole other side to her, one that somebody like Luke could actually connect with, was the greatest thing he's ever uncovered about her.
Luke noticed Sam's cheeks turning pink as she looked away, laughing under her breath. "Well, thank you, Luke..."
Sam trailed off as she stared out the window beside her bed, her smile fading completely. "Honestly. Thank you for not giving me shit for it."
"Giving you shit for it?" Luke asked, tilting his head to the side. "Why would I ever do that?"
Sam bobbed one shoulder, her voice quiet. "Cause everyone else does."
There was a pause, but Luke let her continue after she let out a sigh. "All of my friends..." she said, shaking her head. "They all think its weird. They all think I'm weird sometimes. That's why I usually never have anybody over. No parties, no sleepovers, nothing. The minute my friends walk in they always ask me why I'm emo. Like, I'm not emo. I just like pop-rock."
She laughed, but it wasn't sincere. "They make fun of me for it all the time."
"Your friends make fun of you because of the music you listen to?"
Sam nervously tucked her hair behind her ears as she hugged her knees to her chest, staring at her hands in her lap. "Not just that," she responded. "Just, everything I do. Everything I actually like doing. They think it's weird that I like to start mosh-pits at concerts and that I'd rather learn how to play an instrument than learn how to do a double back-hand-spring."
"Wait...you start the mosh-pits?"
"I go so hard, Luke. You don't even know."
Luke's lips curled up into a shy smile as he looked down at his hands, shrugging. "Well, you shouldn't let that get to you, Sam."
"But I do," she insisted, slightly leaning forward. It was as if she'd been waiting for somebody to say this to for years. "And I keep telling them it's not a big deal, but they just keep telling me it's weird. That's why I never tell anyone about it to begin with."
"You told me."
"Because I knew you wouldn't judge me," Sam said. "Even if you liked completely different things than me, I just...I had a feeling you wouldn't judge me."
"Well..." Luke trailed off as he looked up, meeting her shy gaze. "That's true, I wouldn't have. But what about Ashton?"
Surely she would say how much of a perfect boyfriend Ashton is, as if she doesn't do that enough already. But Luke was surprised when he noticed the way Sam's smile faded, her eyes seeming to lose their beautiful emerald color.
"He's the worst." she mumbled.
Luke tilted his head to the side. "As in...?"
"As in the way he judges me all the time," Sam responded, shaking her head. "He thinks its gross. He thinks its weird because they're always screaming instead of singing. And I always think to myself, 'why the fuck do you care, dude?'."
Luke's face fell into a cold frown, his left eye starting to twitch. If its one thing he cannot stand, its when people judge others for the music they listen to. And adding Ashton to the equation only aggravated Luke more. "Don't listen to him." he said bitterly.
"Yeah well, its easier said than done," Sam chuckled. "Especially when your judgmental boyfriend is six feet tall and the captain of the varsity boy's lacrosse team."
There was a pause again. Luke knew she wasn't supposed to be admitting all of this to him, and he was expecting her to regret it eventually.
"That's lame," he said. "I think it's cool. I think it's really cool, Sam."
Luke stared at her sincerely. Never in his right mind would he have ever done this any other time he's spent with her, but this time it felt different. This time Luke knew he had to put his shyness away for her sake. "I think it's cool that you're not like all your friends, that you like different music and dress a little differently."
Sam sat up at the sound of his words, her eyes widening. "You can tell that I dress differently?"
"Uh...yes?" Luke said questionably, looking at her strangely. "Why?"
"Fuck," she sighed, resting her head back against her pillow. "I started doing that a few days ago but I didn't think anyone could tell. Well, I'll let you know how long it takes before Ashton notices. My money's on a week."
"Why is he telling you how to dress and what bands to listen to?"
"Because he wants me to be like everybody else in our group."
"Well fuck that!"
"Luke -"
"No, I'm serious," Luke sat up and glared at Sam, but it wasn't out of anger. It was out of encouragement. "Fuck what they say. You do you, Sam. And if he has a problem with that then he's not worth it."
Luke thought for sure he'd get Sam on board with him, but instead he was met with the disappointing sight of her shaking her head, swallowing nervously. "But I love him," she said quietly. "A lot."
Luke didn't blame Sam for saying it. He's not that blind; he's aware that Sam thinks of him as nothing but her chemistry tutor...maybe even her friend, if he's lucky. Luke was happy she was opening up about so much to him, and he wanted her to know that he can always be that person she can talk to.
But still, hearing the love of his life say that she loves the guy who's made his life a living Hell for the past 5 years, it completely shattered Luke's heart into a million pieces.
He had to hold it together and keep his cool. He just had to keep his cool, like his mom said. But on the inside he could feel his walls starting to be build back up; the same walls that kept telling Luke to shut his mouth and leave her alone because she doesn't care about him the way he'd like her to.
Fortunately for Luke, Sam spoke up before he could burst into a floury of frustration. "It's whatever," she shrugged. "But I appreciate what you said, Luke. I really do."
"If..If you -" Luke was struggling to make sense again. "Ever n-need someone to t-talk to about music...or anything a-actually, you can always t-text me."
Sam smiled at him gently. "I will," she said, nodding her head. "...You know, I'm really glad you're my tutor. I'm really glad we've become friends."
"We're...we're friends?" Luke stared at her in disbelief. No, he couldn't have heard her correctly, Luke is nowhere near worthy of being her friend. "Us?"
"Of course," she giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "Why wouldn't we be?"
Luke gulped. "I don't know."
Sam sat up and shook her blonde hair out so it fell over her shoulders. "Well, we are. I hope thats alright," she chuckled, getting off the bed. She held her hand out for Luke to take. "I'll walk you to your car."
Luke checked the time on his phone. It was almost 6:30. The sun was starting to set beyond the mountains that surrounded their suburban city, turning the autumn sky into a mix of pink, purple and blue. Luke was surprised at how quickly time had rolled by.
"Okay." he stammered, clasping his clammy hand in hers. Unlike Luke, her hand was small, warm, and soft. Her touch, although friendly and completely casual, sent chills of adrenaline and longing for more down Luke's spine.
He wanted nothing more in the world than to hug her again, and actually pay attention to it this time. He wanted to be able to call her his and kiss her whenever he wanted. But unfortunately for Luke, he's...well, Luke. And about all he's gonna get from Samantha is her hand holding his for a good 3 seconds as she helps him off his bed.
However, Sam came to a sudden stop as she reached her bedroom door, causing Luke to stumble into her back. She slowly turned around and gazed up at the boy, a smile forming on her beautiful face. "On second thought," she said. "You wanna stay for dinner? I want to show you my Spotify."
Luke stared back at Sam, admiring her beauty for one moment, and then her genuine change of heart for another. "Can I show you mine afterwards?" he asked.
Sam's face lit up. "Absolutely!" she laughed, tugging Luke back into her room. As she pulled up another chair to her desk, turning on her iMac computer, Luke took his phone out. He texted his mother and told him he wouldn't be home for dinner tonight, and that he actually does have some sort of chemistry with the girl of his dreams.
-
Luke got home around 10:00 that night.
Usually, not being in bed and asleep before 9:30 on a school night would cause Luke a lot of anxiety, but he was perfectly fine with it this time. Luke and Sam spent hours talking about music, and music only. Sam even bought them a pizza for dinner. It was the best night of Luke's life.
He never would've guessed Sam to be the type of girl that likes music in general, let alone his favorite style. For some reason, Luke has always gotten the impression that the popular kids at his school don't have the time or interest in listening to music that's actually good and meaningful. He assumed they all listened to the top 20 charts instead. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Luke just didn't understand why none of them showed any passion for it.
But, as Luke has always said, Sam is different. Especially after today, she's not the typical popular cheerleader that everyone at school deems to be just as spoiled as she is beautiful. And Luke really liked that; he liked the idea of him knowing things about her that not many people do, even if it is something as small as her favorite bands.
Luke quickly took a shower to rinse out all the gel he had put into his hair that morning, and changed into his favorite night shirt and pair of sweat pants. He set his alarm for 6 tomorrow, and a part of him was almost excited to go to school, just because he got to see (and maybe even speak) to Sam again.
He got into bed and settled down for the night, going over all the things that happened to him today in his head. He woke up this morning feeling scared to be around her on his own again, but now he almost felt like a new person. Barely, just barely, Luke felt a little better about himself.
His phone lit up on his bedside table. Luke turned onto his side and squinted against the light, to see that he had recieved a text from Sam.
Sam: okay, last question. this will really test you.
Luke: is it chemistry related?
Sam: yes.
Luke: alright. whats up?
It took a few minutes for Sam to respond. But when she did, Luke was right there to answer it.
Sam: Feel or Madness?
Luke: pft, neither.
Luke: Let's Cheers to This.
Chuckling, Luke set his phone down on the bed beside him and pulled his blankets up to his chin. He relaxed, closed his eyes, and let out a heavy sigh of relief that something potentially worked out for once in his life. Finally, he felt alright about his day.
Before Luke let himself fall asleep at ease, his phone buzzed one last time.
Sam: you are so fucking awesome.