Cody:
“Well, can we all go in now?”
Michael flashed all of us simple small smiles before nodding without hesitation. “Yeah, yeah! Of course you may—”
“Michael,” I called out calmly before he could make his move and take the first step into the room. “You’re not going anywhere near Merinda.”
“She’s my daughter, Cody,” he firmly responded, having to tilt his head up when looking at me because I was a couple centimeters taller than he was. “I have every right to go near her or not, because I’m her father. That said, I hope you’re aware of the fact that you are incapable of telling me what to do.”
“Well, funny,” I let out a sadistic, humorless laugh. “Ever since she became my girlfriend, I’ve never once left her side—and I’m just her boyfriend. But there’s you… Her own father who left her when she was a young child, having to survive through a childhood with an incomplete family. Seriously, Michael?” I paused, tilting my head to the side. “Could you be even more selfish?”
“I—” I cut him off with a simple clear of throat.
“I wasn’t done,” I grounded my teeth for a brief second. “And then there’s you, over here, dressed just like your brother for a doctor when really, you’re nowhere near being dexterous as him. Who do you think you’re going to fool? Because clearly, if you can’t fool me, neither will you be able to fool Merinda, because she’s smarter than you think.”
“I had my reasons for leaving them!” He collectedly responded, occasionally clenching and unclenching his fists that were by his sides, alternately, trying to keep his cool but, it was pretty obvious his patience was running thin by me. “So since you’re unaware of anything, please just…”
“I told you, you’re not going anywhere near Merinda so—”
Before I could register what happened next, I was shoved roughly against the wall with the collars of my shirt pulled tightly, upwards, nearly suffocating me due to the lack of oxygen I managed to inhale. I stared at Michael, this time, deciding to wear the nonchalant façade.
“I see,” I began in an antagonizing manner, knowing I’d succeeded when his grip on my tightened. I had to hold myself back, even if it takes my last breath. “Merinda Anderson’s biological father taking on her boyfriend with the use of violence—what do you want, a round of applause with a standing ovation or something?” I chuckled darkly, watching as he started huffing air out from his nostrils thanks to fury.
“I don’t know who taught you manners, but they sure as hell did a lousy job at it,” he spat, dropping his hand down to his side. “I won’t even bother handling you anymore.”
“Wow, who would’ve known you would actually back down first? Why don’t you come swing your fist at me and bash me up? That’s a dare, you know?” I challenged, trying to strike a nerve in him since he wanted to go against what I told him not to do. “Too scared now?”
“I’m not a teenage boy anymore,” he simply responded, turning his back to face me. “Plus, I love my daughter way too much to hurt somebody she might actually love—”
“Cody,” a soft, pained voice from the corner made my eyes snap towards theirs. My eyebrows furrowed when I noticed Alli’s cold blue eyes lining up with tears.
I was just a second away from asking what’s wrong, when she finally decided to open her mouth and tell me what I never thought I’d ever receive in my whole life.
Because it just never seemed possible—it’s surreal.
“Merinda’s body is fighting against chemotherapy, making it hard to treat her properly. She won’t stop coughing and throwing up blood, and there’s nothing we could do to get her to eat, or drink.”
Merinda:
“This pain is unbearable,” I whimpered painfully, feeling as though there were multiple needles being stuck into my skin, my bones and my veins all at the same time, on my entire body, the pain constantly crawling inwards from my limbs to my body just like a virus attack. “I can’t…”
“Merinda, hang in there,” Matt’s worried voice sounded distant—so distant it was as though he was yelling that, except, he was many meters away from where I was, making it sound surreal, muffled and far. “Merinda… Stay awake!”
“Cody,” I managed to choke out before I forced myself over the edge of the bed, feeling the same, familiar old rush running from my body up my throat, causing me to gag out loud before choking on the liquid that was flowing right out when I drew in a deep breath from my mouth. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to push the pain away. “C—”
“Merinda?” Cody’s gentle voice blocked every trouble out of my head, worry out of my heart and noise out of my ears. “Baby, open your mouth but breathe through your nose, the doctor will be here soon. Please stay strong,” he firmly encouraged, though making me shake my head in the lightest way possible, in fear that I might feel more pain.
“I— I can’t—”
Opening my eyes slightly, I could vaguely see his figure pushing past everyone through my blurry vision due to the tears. However, before I knew it, someone had grasped onto my hand tightly, sending my skin bursting into ticklish tingles.
“I love you,” Cody began, making my heart squeeze, “and I know you can do this. Okay? Please—for me? For yourself. For your loved ones, hang in there. I know it’s painful, baby, so if you’re in pain any time, just squeeze my hand. I’ll be here, I’m never going anywhere.”
I nodded slowly and slightly, only because there was nothing else I could do.
I couldn’t even muster enough energy to do anything else like smiling because I didn’t even have it inside me right now. Doing what he told me to, I began taking in short breaths with my nose, careful not to inhale and exhale too hard in case the wet substance spurts out from my nostrils.
I must’ve looked like I’d gone through exorcism—as scary as it sounds.
“Will all of you please kindly move out? The doctor and I have to check on her—”
“Everyone, move out!” Matt helped shorten the nurse’s words by ushering everyone out of the room, including himself. “Cody, are you going to follow?”
“He can stay,” the nurse reassured, before Cody could respond while flashing him a small smile. “I think she needs him by her side too much for him to leave.”
“What are you going to do about her illness at this point?” I could hear Cody ask, as I kept my eyes shut; breathing still. I felt like a precious glass in a way—vulnerable and fragile, secluding precious in reality, that is. “It seems to be deteriorating rather harshly.”
“I’m not entirely sure who told your sister the false information about Merinda’s condition, but you don’t have to worry about anything because she’s completely fine.”
I heard Cody heave a sigh of relief next to me, before mumbling something that I couldn't make out.
“We will have to check for her blood runs, as well as scan her body beneath the x-ray, but that won’t be so soon. For now, we’ll have to often check back to make sure she’s doing well,” the doctor began saying, but I was too busy trying to conquer the pain underneath my skin to pay attention.
“Her condition is stable, to say the least,” he went on, “the reason why she’s actually throwing up, as well as feeling hot, stinging pains is actually because the chemotherapy is working pretty well inside her body, and all the chemicals are fighting the cancerous cells, therefore creating such excruciating pain.
“Also, what she coughs up isn’t blood—it is the red chemical that enters her body for the washing of her organs clean. Why she throws it up is because her body hasn’t adapted to its functions yet. I must also warn, when this occurs to patients, it usually also means they would pee red, but you already know it would not be blood so it’s normal.”
“Merinda,” Cody murmured quietly next to my ear, “did you hear that?”
“Slightly,” I managed to say; realizing the pain in my body had subsided, “what happened to my body? The pain is gone,” I heaved a comfortable, silent sigh feeling better having feel no pain when breathing deeply, and not.
“We injected anesthesia into your body so that you’ll be able to fall asleep and rest well before the pain returns. This is completely normal, considering it is probably only your first time going through this treatment. Every other patient has had worse, so stay strong!” The nurse cheered quietly, making me nod briefly, though appreciatively.
“Well, looks like we’re pretty much done here,” the doctor voiced out in the friendliest tone ever, “all you need to have is some rest before your dinner arrives.”
“Really? That’s it?” I’m sure my eyes glistened with hope and joy immediately right after the doctor had finished his statement.
“That is it, Merinda,” he confirmed, making her grin spread from one ear to the other. “We will come back in forty-five minutes to check on you again.” And without another word uttered, he left the room with the nurse following behind him in tow.
“How are you feeling, baby?” I heard Cody ask next to me—the concern in his voice so thick that I could almost taste it.
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, slouching my shoulders, slowly shifting myself to the side slightly before sinking down further on the bed, heaving a quiet sigh, closing my eyes. “Lay next to me?”
“Gladly,” he immediately responded, climbing in next to me; careful not to touch me in case I scream from pain. But we all know it’s impossible now—but it’s still sweet to know he was trying to be gentle, caring, cautious.
The moment he laid his arm above my head, I craned my neck, pulling it upwards so that he could easily slide his arm beneath the back of my head.
“Tell me if you’re not comfy, okay?” He asked quietly, pulling me as gently as he could, closer into his body with a little bit of my help. I nodded, gritting my teeth together as I tried to absorb the feeling of normalcy after the pain that had shot through my body just minutes ago.
“I missed you,” I muttered under my breath, feeling my breathing slow its pace down, keeping it still and collected.
“I missed you more,” he calmly retorted seriously, “you don’t know how much it hurt me to see you lay down here looking as lifeless as could be, all because of me… I was a wreck—but more importantly, I’m sorry for being the biggest dick in the history of all di—”
“Seriously?” I cracked up laughing, cutting him off. “Just how many times are you going to say that D word? Enough, I get it. But please…” I trailed off, fiddling with the hem of his tee between my fingers. “Please know that I never meant to hurt you in any way, whether it’s the words I say or actions I do—I’m just stupid like that.”
“Babe,” he sighed, “what are you doing, telling me what I should be the one doing so, you?”
I kept my eyes closed tightly despite knowing the fact that I was a hundred percent aware Cody’s gaze was boring right through my head, probably burning a hole in the process.
Yes, it was that intense.
“I don’t know, I just… It’s something normal about me, you know?" I paused, heaving yet another sigh.
“I don’t know if my Mom’s ever gotten the chance to tell you before, but—the reason why I’m always doubting myself, Cody, is because I had a rough past. It was so rough that it took me nearly five years to get over everything by distracting myself, but the moment you asked me what you did back at our supposed date, everything came crashing back down; I felt nostalgic—and it wasn’t in a good way.”
“I didn’t know,” he quietly made out, hinting it aloud with a soft whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I smiled softly, opening my eyes to look into his, this time round, dark blue eyes, “do you want to know more about me? After all, you’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?”
“I guess so…” He sheepishly answered, lowering his head slightly. “What happened in the past?”
“As you already know, I didn’t have a perfect family, growing up. Everywhere I went, I was that one freak who didn’t have a father when all the other people my age or younger had two parents, and they would constantly tease me about it when we were all in pre-school. They made me wonder all the time, why didn’t I have a Dad? One to care for me, love me; teach me…
“Then I decided to accept reality and society’s words; I was a freak with a broken family. Mom was the only one who loved me then, the only one. I didn’t know how it felt like to have friends or to be loved in a way a friend, sibling or evidently even a boyfriend would. Everything sucked for me, and I was only six years old.
“Not long after when I reached the age of nine, I fell severely ill. That said, I was obviously sent to the hospital straight away.
“The doctors took hours and nearly days, but eventually they managed to find out what was wrong with me—I had a tumor fixated right next to my kidneys, but it was a benign one. But gradually as I got older until I was eleven, they found out that it had taken its toll and became malignant, so I had to undergo an operation as soon as possible in case it destroys my body.
“Mom decided it would be best to take it up straight away, so I agreed. But what’s funny? It was too late; everything was two days too late. A little part of it had already rotted and dispersed itself around my kidneys, forming cancerous particles.
“The doctors tried washing it all away, but some had already turned into revolting cell disease that led to me, sitting here, at this state. That’s when I requested for a school dropout; because I couldn’t even imagine how people would react if they actually found out I had cancer.
“So then after that, three years later, after years of doing what I did best at home—reading, self-studying, singing and using the computer, I found this Australian kid called Cody who practically changed my life in the best way possible. He kind of, took away all my pain; somehow, even though I was damn sure he didn’t even know of my existence.
“Afterwards as I Googled him, and that’s the time I slowly started falling so hard for him, I was sure I was more than in love with him. Days later when I found out he was returning to Australia for a show and an autograph session, I was determined to go and meet him for once, say hi, and let him know I loved him. A lot.
“I searched desperately for the timing his plane would land in our hometown, before rushing to the airport so I wouldn’t miss the chance… And yeah, well, you know the rest of the story,” I ended sweetly, laughing when he stared at me with the blankest expression mankind has ever discovered.
Probably, I don’t really know.
“I’m not so sure how to react because everything started so heartbreakingly, but ended so cutely… How do you want me to react after knowing practically everything about you?” He cleared his throat once, before blinking at me, slowly and adorably.
“Just hug me, don’t kiss me, and never leave me,” I grinned, understanding exactly how he felt when allowing his words to roll out of his mouth. “That’s all I want you doing and not just reacting.”
“Something’s changed about you,” he let out an airy breath, leaning down to nuzzle his face in my neck, “but I like it. I like it very much.”
“What do you think changed about me?” I inquired curiously, as though I didn’t already know.
This has always been a trait of mine—after having go through something painful, I’d constantly become stronger and, in a way, you could say happier? Because the pain solely concentrates on having me realize how precious it is to even have a life to live.
“You’re… even confident, less shy, and you seem stronger than ever,” he whispered next to my ear, before leaving a kiss next to my earlobe. “It’s sexy, but it’s mostly beautiful and truth be told, it only heightens the adoration I have towards you.”
“Smart boy,” I laughed quietly, wrapping my arms around his torso, “I love you, Codes.”
“I love you too, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”
As he pulled back slightly, I pursed my lips into a tight straight line the moment he rested his forehead above mine; his lips puckered a tad, tempting me to kiss him—but because I haven’t had anything to eat, but drink, I didn’t want to ruin the taste of his lips.
And that came out dumber than expected.
Gosh.
“Come on, just one kiss!” He whined playfully, making me shake my head instantly. “Why?” He pouted cutely, rubbing his nose lightly against the tip of mine. “You know you wanna…”
I was one second from pushing him away—one second when the doctor came back in; but this time, it wasn’t the previous doctor that came in to check my blood pressure, breathing stability and everything else—it was someone I had absolutely no intention of seeing anymore, in spite of our relation.
I felt Cody’s body stiffen with rage, but I didn’t know why—but I didn’t question it either, because for all I know, my emotions had been switched off without my control, and my mouth was moving on its own accord without my permission.
And it scared me.
“How have you been doing, Father?”