Harry was in the kitchen about to make dinner the next night, when Yvette called his phone. He was skeptical about talking to her. But he also didn't want to ignore her either. So he answered it. "Hello."
"Hi, baby."
"What's up?"
"I was just calling to see how you were."
"I'm fine, you?"
"I'm okay."
"Good."
The line was quiet. "So what are you doing?"
"Preparing dinner. I had a taste for steak tonight." He placed a packaged T-bone steak on the counter that he'd taken out of the refrigerator.
"Ah, yes. You do make the best steaks. Actually, you make the best food, period. If you hadn't gone to school for Psychology, you could have always gone to culinary school."
Harry smiled. "True. I'd have my own restaurant by now, Yve."
"Yes. You probably would. I'd support you in that. Chef Harry doesn't sound too bad."
"No, it doesn't. So what are you up to?"
"Nothing. I'm mostly just making sure I have everything packed and ready to go tomorrow."
"Oh, nice. Don't want to leave anything."
"Nope. Definitely wouldn't want to do that..."
He heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. "What's wrong?"
She hesitated. "I have a confession to make."
"What?"
"I didn't just call to see how you were."
"Okay..."
Now her hesitation was even longer. Too long.
"Why did you call then?"
"Because... You don't talk to me anymore. I thought that five months should make things better, but I feel like I know as much about you as I knew when we first met, if not less. You don't tell me anything and you do your best to avoid serious conversation. I don't like the feeling of being shut out."
"I'm not trying to shut you out or else I wouldn't have answered the phone."
"And I'm glad you did answer it. Because I have something I want to say."
"Okay."
"On Sunday when you came home, I was too tired and too busy crying to mention anything directly to you. But you smelled just like him. Your clothes. You. You stayed with Zayn, didn't you?"
Harry cursed under his breath, knowing it was because he wasn't able to take a shower before she ran up to him and started scolding him. He was hoping to sneak in and do that, but it didn't work out that way. "What?"
"Harry, the worse thing you can do is try to make me look stupid. You were there, weren't you?"
He gulped. "Yeah, I was there and I got carried away. So I just ended up sleeping there. It was no big deal."
"No big deal? So you don't think its a big deal to have your girlfriend staying in your house while you go stay with someone else? That's terrible!"
"Listen. I didn't know I was going to stay. I just went over there for a break. That's it."
The line was quiet. "You went over there for a what?"
"Nothing."
"You went over there for a break.... From me?"
"Yvette..."
"I don't understand." There were sniffles into the phone. He knew she was starting to cry. "What am I doing wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, please... stop saying that. I know it's a lie. There's obviously something. I keep getting the feeling that it's Zayn and I want you to tell me the truth."
"Truth about what?"
"You and him. I know you know something because last time I asked you, you avoided the question. Have you always known about his sexuality, or not?"
He leaned over the counter on one hand. "What? Why are you so worried about his true sexuality lately? And what kind of question is that anyway?"
"It's one you won't answer and that worries me." She cried a little bit harder. "Have you had a past relationship with him or has something happened between you two that you don't want me to know about?"
"No."
Are you lying?"
"No."
"Then why are you not seeing the things I'm seeing?! Why are you acting like it's not a big deal?! Anytime you leave, don't return until the next day and then come back smelling like he's been all over you, that scares the shit out of me! I don't think you understand just how much!"
Harry sighed, feeling very overwhelmed because of all the hollering and crying. For a moment, he even considered breaking up with her now, so that he could save them both the headaches and misery. But he wanted to do this the proper and respectful way. He wanted to sit down and talk about all the things that had been bothering her and he wanted to know how much of what Zayn said she said was true. So he changed his mind.
"Yvette." He said softly.
"What?"
"I know I don't talk enough, okay. I understand that. I also know that communication is very important and that I haven't been doing that lately. So I'm very sorry for that. But I do want to talk to you now."
"Go ahead, then."
"Except what I want to say, I want to say it face to face. That's how I prefer to talk to you. Do you think you could come over after you get back in town?"
She sniffled. But he could tell she was no longer crying. She had calmed down. "Of course, baby. Anything. Is Monday after work okay?"
"Sure. Late evening."
There was a pause. "Alright. I'll see you then. I'll miss you." She said and she sounded very hopeful.
Harry didn't really want to say that in return. So he quickly found a way to end the conversation. "Yeah, you better finish packing up. I'll see you on Monday.
She may or may not have detected the subject change. He couldn't tell. "Goodnight Harry."
"You too."
→→→→→
It was Thursday night. Music was playing, people were jabbering about nothing and the nonstop sound of clattering glasses, silverware and plates could be heard loud and clear. Zayn wasn't entirely sure what this was other than a simple little rendezvous. But he liked to call it a date. Because meeting up at a tiny nightclub at seven o'clock on the dot was everything far from simple and little. Especially now that they were sitting at the bar with drinks in front of them and their chairs against each other with not even an inch to maneuver any closer.
"So you don't think that's the most horrible tequila you've ever drank?" Zayn was asking. Because he had just drank from Harry's glass to try a brand of tequila he never had and found out he didn't like it. Zayn had had liquor that seemed to have a spice before. But not like this.
"No. I think it's good." Harry countered.
"But it's so spicy."
"Yes, you should have expected that. This brand was made in Mexico. Did you know that Latinos actually prefer to use this for their margaritas than any other tequila?"
"No. And how do you even know that?"
"The guy at the liquor store I go to told me they come in there all the time and buy that kind. One day he finally asked one of them what they used it for and they told him. This is the real stuff, Z. The real tequila."
Zayn gave him a disgusted face. "Okay. But I'm sticking to this." And he pulled his own glass of Vodka closer to himself.
Harry put an arm on the back of Zayn's chair and drank from his glass again. "So I picked a day."
"A day for what?"
"A day to talk to Yvette and try not to break her heart so badly."
Zayn faced him slowly. "When?" He asked quietly.
"Monday."
"So you told her?"
"I told her I wanted to talk to her, yes. But I wanted to meet here because I need to find out some things from you first."
He frowned. "Like what?"
"First of all, how serious are you?"
"How serious am I about what?"
"About me. Because what I'm doing is a huge risk. Even if she doesn't really love me like you say, I'm still giving up somebody that really cares for me. Yvette is such a good girl and I know that maybe I didn't get enough attention. But that doesn't mean I have a right to do what I'm doing to her."
He used the hand that was on the back of Zayn's chair and moved it forward so that it rested on Zayn's waist. "So that's why, if I'm going to do this, then I need to be sure of how serious you are. I don't want you to just be... finding yourself through me and then you realize I'm not what you want. Because then that's three hearts broken all for nothing. I don't want that."
Zayn nodded, completely understanding what he was saying. "Me either."
"So how serious are you?" He repeated.
Zayn carefully thought about his answer, but not for too long because he didn't want Harry to think he had any doubt. "I'm very serious. I want you to be mine more than anything and I want to be yours. Like I said, I know its new and maybe a little bit odd, but its also real. Maybe I am somewhat jealous of your girlfriend after all. Because for the past five months, she's gotten the attention I want from you. But I'll make it worth it. I don't think I'm going to be breaking your heart, Harry. If anything, I'll be patching it up from all the holes she's left in it."
Harry started to laugh quietly as Zayn picked up his glass of vodka and took a sip. "Z, there are no holes in my heart. For the most part I was happy."
"Well, guess what Harry."
"What?"
"For the most part isn't good enough. I want to see you happy all the time."
Harry gushed, then pulled Zayn closer to his side. "You've totally convinced me now."
"Oh, have I?" He said and he playfully rolled his eyes.
"Yes."
"Finally. Seeing as kissing you as many times as I did and staying with you just because you wanted me to apparently wasn't enough. We definitely needed a meeting at a nightclub for this."
Harry did find the sense of humor in his words but he wanted to make sure Zayn didn't actually have his feelings hurt while masking it behind a joke. "Wait a second. I didn't say that was the only reason I was here, though it was the most important reason. In case you haven't noticed, we're at a nightclub, Z. If that was all I wanted , then I would have just called you on the phone. But obviously I wanted to see you. And I also wanted to enjoy your company. Which I am doing, despite the fact that you've clearly shown you don't like my taste in liquor."
"I don't like your taste in that liquor." He pointed to Harry's glass.
"Sure..." Harry mumbled. And since their faces were already so close together, he couldn't resist leaning forward to kiss him. Zayn willingly kissed him back, purposely pushing the annoyance of public displays of affection from his mind.
"Mr. Malik?"
They stopped kissing and faced the voice. There was Mrs. Harris, the daycare manager, also known as the woman who hired Zayn.
"Mrs. Harris. How are you?" Zayn asked and he tried to discreetly wipe away the feeling of Harry's kisses.
"I'm fine. It's different to see you in a place like this."
"Same to you."
"Oh, I'm actually just here to pick up my sister, Jenny. She works here. My husband hates for me to go out places like this alone." She chuckled.
"Well, yeah. You're married. So that makes sense."
She took a weird breath then nervously looked between he and Harry. "Well, I don't want to interrupt your... date or anything. I just wanted to come over and say hi, since I saw you."
"It's not much of a date, really. It's just sort of like-"
"A date." Harry intervened.
Zayn faced him to make sure he wasn't just saying that for her. But Harry gave him a single nod and he turned back to Mrs. Harris, turning completely red in the face. "Well, I guess it is a date then."
"Yeah, I figured so." She said and her facial expression let Zayn know she was probably wondering how it wouldn't be if they were kissing like that.
"Judy! I'm here. Sorry I'm late. It's been so busy today." The voice was coming from a lady who looked slightly younger than Judy and she came running over. Her name tag read 'Jen'.
"It's fine. I was just talking to a coworker."
"Oh." Jenny smiled and waved at them.
"I guess I better be going if I'm going to get her home and get home myself. Be careful Mr. Malik. No hangover tomorrow."
"I promise." He chuckled and she and her sister scurried out of the nightclub.
Harry was twisting his glass around with his index finger and thumb.
"A date..." Zayn said facing him.
"Yes."
"Why?"
He stopped turning the glass. "It's fitting... and maybe it's also the second biggest reason we're here too."
Zayn gave him a look of surprise. He couldn't believe Harry had been thinking the same way he was thinking earlier. "Hmm. Interesting."
Just as Harry was pinching his side a little, the food they had ordered earlier was being sat in front of them. There were four mini ham sliders arranged in a square on a square plate and a decorative toothpick was in each one. And then there was a basket of freshly fried piping hot potato chips with nacho cheese drizzled on them. Everything smelled so good.
"More liquor, guys?" The bartender asked.
"No thank you." Zayn replied. "May I have a glass of water, please?"
"Me too. And we'll need more napkins." Harry chimed.
"Sure." The bartender reached under the counter and took out a few napkins for them. "I'll be back with your water." And he left.
Zayn lay his head on Harry's shoulder. "Since you say this is a date, I'll add that I'm really enjoying it. I like this."
"Me too."
"Too bad it has to end though."
"Or you could go home with me and stay on into the weekend. That is an option too."
Zayn sat up and looked him in the face. He'd already said he wasn't going to stay with him until he and Yvette were no longer a thing. He didn't want to change his mind. "Harry... You know what I said. I wasn't kidding."
"Fine. We won't do it as dating partners then. We'll do it as best friends. Because we're still best friends no matter what, yeah? That hasn't changed."
Zayn didn't like how he was finding ways to get around it and he narrowed his eyes. "Sure Harry. We are. But if I stay as your best friend, that means I'll sleep in my own room, separate from you."
Harry scrunched up his face, showing that he'd rather not do it that way. "Separate from me?"
"Yes. Take it or leave it, Hazza. Cause I'm not changing it."
"There you go. Two glasses of water." The bartender sat them down in from of them. "Anything else?"
"No. We're fine. Thanks." Zayn said and he took a toothpick from one of the sliders.
"Alright. Enjoy. Let me know when I can get you anything."
"Okay."
When he left, Harry groaned, then leaned over and pressed the front of his face against the side of Zayn's. He'd rather not be separate but he also figured that just because they weren't going to sleep next to each other at night, that didn't mean they couldn't do other sweet things with each other during the day. So he finally agreed with that in mind. "Okay... I'll take it."
→→→→→
Anne was bent down in the flowerbed along the bottom of one of the front windows when Harry pulled up on the side of the road in front of her house. Robin was riding the riding mower. He got out of his truck and slowly made his way up the pathway. His mother happened to look up when he was only a few steps away. She smiled and waved, happy to see him.
"Hi, sweetheart." She said over the sound of the lawnmower and she peeked up at him from below her floppy sunhat.
"Hi, mum."
She gave him a puzzled look, then frowned. "Whoa dear. You look downhearted. What's wrong?"
"Um, I need to talk to you. Inside the house."
That partially scared her. But she took off her gloves, then held her hand out for him to help her up. He did.
"Is is bad?"
"Not so much, mum. Don't panic."
She took a shaky breath. "Come on then."
He followed her into the house and to the kitchen. "Robin and I are trying to get the grass cut and get new flowers planted before it rains tomorrow. Been out there all day, trying to make it look nice." She said pulling a bottle of water from the freezer.
"Well it does look nice. You're doing really good."
"Thank you. It's such hard work. Hopefully I won't have to worry about doing this until next year or when I plant my Summer flowers. Anyway, enough of that. Go on and spill it. Break my heart." She jested and he barely cracked a smile as he sat down at the table.
"I'm at a complicated crossroads in my life."
She sat the water bottle down on the counter and gave him a perplexed look. "Why is that? Oh dear... This is about a wedding proposal, isn't it?" She wiped her hands on her pants and took a deep breath. "I can't believe this is happening. Oh my gosh."
"Wait... mum wait. It's not about that."
She placed a hand over her heart "It's not?"
"No."
"What is it about then?"
He looked at the table and played with one of the place mats. "I kissed Zayn."
"Oh my word, Harry! What?!"
He studied his mother to see if she was angry. But really, she looked more amused and surprised than upset. "I kissed Zayn." He repeated.
"When?"
"Saturday."
The hand that was on her chest slid down to her stomach because she was getting an eerie feeling in the pit of it. "You're still with Yvette though, aren't you?"
He swallowed and nodded and she let out a squeak. "What happened? I thought that you decided to date Yvette and move on from him. Plus, you actually like her."
"I know. I do like her a lot. And yeah, I thought I was doing it to move on too. But apparently I haven't. Because when he kissed me, I couldn't help but give in and kiss him back."
She picked up her water and drank quite a bit of it at one time. "So he kissed you first?"
"Yes. He just dove onto me and kissed me. And I'm not exaggerating."
She sat the bottle down, then wiped her hand across her sweating forehead. "Does your girlfriend know?"
"No. But we've been having really tough conversations lately. Very stressful conversations. She's cried and questioned me-- I don't know how many times-- because she has this sneaky suspicion that there may be something. I'm just... I'm at a really horrible crossroads because I've asked her to come by to talk on Monday when she gets back in town and that's when I had planned on breaking up with her. But now I'm not so sure if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm just acting off of these same old feelings that I've had for Zayn."
She gave him a sympathetic look. "So now you're trying to figure out if you should break up with her all because of a simple kiss?"
"That's the problem. It's not simple. Nor has it been one kiss. It's been multiple kisses, mum."
She was shocked. "Multiple? I don't understand. Why all of a sudden? You've had feelings for that boy for two and a half to three years. Why now?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I talked to him to make sure he's serious and he is. He's so serious and that really confuses me. But at the same time, I don't want to miss it because I do like him. I've just never been courageous enough to tell him."
She took off her sunhat, sat it on the counter and fanned herself with her hand. "Harry, I'm trying to cool down but this conversation is making me hotter."
"Sorry."
She walked over to him, then sat in a chair diagonal from him. "So what are you going to do?"
"I know what I want to do. But you're my mum and you always know best. So I decided to come talk to you."
She put her hand over his hand and he stopped fumbling with the mat. "I may be your mother, but you are more than old enough to make your own decisions. All I can tell you is that its always best to follow your heart. Whatever you feel there, then that's what you go with."
"But its telling me to break Yvette's heart. And I don't really want to do that." He took his hand from under her hands and covered his face. He was crying.
"You know... it's all well and good to care about other people's feelings. But sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the sake of your own happiness. When you and Gemma were little, I realized that in order for me to be happy, I was going to have to divorce your father and leave him. I knew that meant I was going to have to raise you both alone for a while, until someone came into my life and if someone came into my life. And I knew you two wouldn't have your father.
"But you know what? Once I got past how much it hurt, we were okay. We were happy and then eventually Robin ended up being the one to come into my life. Sometimes the consequences aren't as bad or as harsh as they initially seem to be. A lot of times there is an upside. And if Zayn really feels the same about you as you feel about him, I see nothing less than an upside."
Harry put his hands down flat on the table, but he didn't look at her.
"I'm going to tell you there have been many occasions where it would sadden me when you talked to me about Zayn and how you wished he would just see how much you cared for him. It broke my heart because he was the first man you ever liked and he wouldn't even return the feelings. But you finally have what you wanted now, honey. You can have your first choice and you don't have to settle for anyone else. This is your chance. And I think you should take it."
He finally looked at her again. "Really?"
"Yes, but I raised you better than to be heartless, so you still need to be very tactful with your words whenever you break up with her. A woman's heart is very fragile. And Yvette is a very good and loyal girl too. So make sure you don't say anything about leaving her for Zayn. That would absolutely tear her to pieces."
He nodded. "Okay."
"And also be sure to tell her how you really feel. Part ways after you remind her of why it is that you were so attracted to her in the first place. Let her know that nothing about her changed. Because trust me, I dated in highschool and the boys were always quick to make the girls think it was their fault. No woman who's already about to have her heart broken, should feel any less than she is already going to feel after you do those things. The breakup should go as smooth as an unexpected breakup can go. It won't be perfect. So don't expect that. But it'll work out in the best way possible. I promise."
"Thanks mum. I'll try my best to remember all of that."
She gave him a soft smile and wiped a running tear from the side of his face. "You will. A child never forgets the things he's taught. So tell me darling. How was the kiss?"
Suddenly, Harry was fully aware of everything being said and he became defensive. "No, no, no, no, no. I'm not explaining that." He said and he sat back in the chair, folding his arms.
"Why not? I am your mother."
"So. I'm not telling you that."
"I raised you, changed your diapers and breastfed you. I think I deserve to know that."
Harry laughed. "No. You don't. That's a private thing that I'd like to keep private. Forever."
She poked out her lip as he stood up. "Where are you going?"
"Home. I really only came by to ask you for advice on how to deal with that. And you told me. Thank you."
"But you don't want to stay for dinner?"
"I can't. Zayn's going to be there soon and... I have to let him in."
She raised her eyebrow. "Why is he coming over?"
"Um..." He said, not really wanting to tell her that Zayn was staying there while Yvette was out of town, for fear he'd get one of those twenty minute lectures about why he needed to properly break up with her first or otherwise it would qualify as cheating. "He's coming by to pick up something on his way home."
"Okay fine. But that's all he better be there for. I mean it. Come on. At least give me a kiss before you leave."
He leaned forward and kissed her cheek and she kissed his. "Love you, mum."
"Love you too. Be careful going home. Drive safe."
"I will."
As he exited the kitchen and went for the front door, he felt this huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders. Even though he knew he'd like to have Zayn, he still wondered if giving up Yvette was the right thing. If breaking up with her for his best friend was truly going to work out in the long run. If there even was an upside to them as a couple.
Either way, his mother was right. Following his heart was the best thing he could ever do. And right now, his heart was aching to be with Zayn.
He had three more days to figure out what to say when he finally saw Yvette on Monday. That was plenty of time to figure out how to break it to her "nicely". He just hoped things didn't turn out to be as bad as he was imagining them turning out to be.