Zayn's POV
My fuzzy, sleepy head only processed a few things as I warmed up a bottle at two in the morning. Laila was in my arms crying her heart out because she was hungry. I brought her home from the hospital six days ago and haven't slept more than thirty minutes each day. I was just glad the hospital had given me enough formula and diapers to last me a little because I knew my state of mind would be dangerous driving.
"Daddy's got you. Here you go." I mumbled to my daughter as I placed the bottle in her mouth. She immediately stopped crying and started sucking at the bottle. Her blue eyes were trained on me a little until she fell right back to sleep. I walked from the kitchen back to my bedroom and sat on my bed again. My eyes were begging me to go to sleep, but I worried if I did then I would miss Laila's cry if she needed me. So far, parenting was the hardest thing I had ever done and I'd only been at it for a total of seven days. The one day in the hospital made me think it would be easier than this.
I never pictured myself as a father at this point in my life. I'm only twenty-two and trying to piece together how a mother could not want their own child. I know the night I met Perrie I thought she was drop dead gorgeous. I had never felt that rush of wanting someone so badly in my life. So I made my move on her and we both talked over drinks. I thought she was a lovely girl and actually liked her from what I knew of her. Things only escalated from there and she took me to her place. We were drunk and I had no clue if I had used a condom or not. Now I know I didn't, but at the time it didn't even matter. After that night, we had text a little, but with her only telling me she felt sick and asking me if I was sick when we had sex. It turned out that she was pregnant. I was scared at first, but did go to her place to see if she needed anything and we both went together to tell her parents she was pregnant as well as mine. I never really read into her actions as hating our child. I just thought it was me that she didn't like, so Istopped trying to pursue a relationship with her and moved on to just calling her every month to see if she was still doing okay. When she was in labor, I was right by her and felt like we could have a family. Then I held my daughter and I was gone for her. Perrie didn't feel the same and it still baffled me.
It took the new born twenty minutes to finish the full bottle with burping in the middle. I laid her back in her crib that I bought at a thrift store on the way home from the hospital. I wasn't expecting to need to buy all of this baby gear because I didn't think I would become an actual father to this child. Now it's only me in a two bedroom flat raising a baby. I tried to make a cute nursery out of the second bedroom, but the doctors told me not to leave her unattended in a a room alone just yet so I have the crib right next to my bed now.
Her room is actually cute for what I could afford. I found some pink baby bedding and stuffed animals to decorate. I found some cute lightly worn baby clothes and a changing table. I thought it looked nice, but I wished I could have made it better for my princess. I also wished I could have had help in getting it together.
I didn't really speak to my family anymore after I told then I got a girl pregnant out of wedlock. They're very religious so that explains allot. My mum had always said if I had a little girl one day when I got married I could have all the things she used for my three sister's nurseries. She also said she would always be there to baby sit whenever. Well, that didn't happen at all because things didn't happen the way she had wanted them. Now I'm using up all my vacation days, sick days, and personal days at work so I can try getting on my feet as a father. They won't give me maternity leave because well, I'm only a father and I didn't carry the child in me for nine months and give birth to it.
My eyes drooped shut as I tried my hardest not to worry too much about how I was going to get by. I had an alright job working as an office assistant at a pharmaceutical company. I just really needed to make sure I could take Laila with me to work when all my days have been used up because if not I would be out of a job. That would make taking care of a baby really hard.
I slept for three hours, which was the longest sleep I had gotten, before Laila started whimpering again for me to feed her or change her. For someone so small, she definitely knows how to demand things quiet loudly. I got out of bed and saw it was still a horrible hour in the morning, but tended to my daughter anyway. I was able to smile at her and give her some kisses as I gave her another bottle. Being awake all night and bearly getting sleep was kind of worth it for her.
I decided to stay awake after that feeding. I just sat in my room with my little girl in my arms as I watched the sun come up. Times like these are ones that I think I'll always remember. Ones where it's just peaceful even though it's so hard to be a parent.
I was lucky that she was born healthy because I wouldn't have known what to do if she wasn't. She was a little small, but the doctors told me that was because Perrie had done some damage during the pregnancy, such as smoking and drinking. However, Laila was very healthy, so I thanked God for that.
There was a knock on the door of my flat so I got out of bed, but put Laila back in her crib before going to answer the door. I was so happy to see it was my best friend since birth, Louis Tomlinson. We had grown up together, but he made better choices than me and went on to uni while I just started working at shit jobs after high school. Both of us still get together every weekend to go clubbing and bar hopping. Well, we used to but now I'm a dad so I can't do that. We hadn't seen each other since Laila was born so he hadn't really met the changed person I had become.
"There's number one daddy. You look like a train hit you." Louis announced before walking into my flat. I shushed him because I didn't want him to wake up Laila. He's also another small person that's really loud. He walked into my kitchen that was covered with baby bottles.
"This is so weird. Usually I see alcohol bottles everywhere, not baby bottles. How are you doing?" Louis asked me quietly after pointing out one major difference in my life. I threw out all the alcohol I had in my house the day I got home from the hospital with Laila. I don't want her around that stuff ever.
"I'm exhausted. I have the prettiest little girl in the world, but I'm just really tired and want to sleep. I'm stressed over work and if I'll loose my job and... I'm the worst dad in the world." I told Louis before breaking down into tears. He laughed at me like a brother would when he cared too much, then pulled me into his arms. He's known me for so long that he knows I love to sleep. When I don't get sleep, you get emotional Zayn. Emotional Zayn isn't a fun friend to have, yet he's still stuck by my side. I just hope I can get used to not sleeping soon.
"That's why I'm here, Zayn. I'm going to help you for as long as you need me. My mum is always there to help you too and you know this. Your parents might not be there, but your other side of the family is there. You're not alone." Louis told me. I moved away from him to pull myself together then nodded to him so he knew I understood him. I heard little cries start to come from my bedroom so I got a bottle off the counter and warmed it up.
"Do you want to meet my daughter?" I asked him, sniffling a little and trying not to break down crying again. Louis got the heated bottle from me and followed me into my bedroom.
The second he laid eyes on her, he turned into this weird version of himself that I had never seen. He looked so caring and almost mature. I guess that's what a baby does to everyone. He picked her up out of the crib and begin feeding her the bottle. Laila was looking at him with her big blue eyes full of confusion so I went over to show her I was still here with her.
"This is Laila Paige Malik. You're the first person I let hold her." I told my best friend. Louis looked up from my daughter and smiled at me. He went ahead and made himself at home by sitting on my bed. I curled up next to him, but I didn't take my eyes off him and my daughter. There was something that happened to me when I saw that lawyer telling me that she would be taken out of my life just because of those simple papers if I had signed them like Perrie did. I felt like I needed to know my daughter was safely with me or to keep her where I could see her. I was afraid of losing her even though I knew Perrie had signed her rights away as a mother and legally I was the only parent Laila would ever have.
"Zayn, get some sleep. I came here to help you out with her for the weekend. You need to sleep so you can take care of her properly. I've helped my mum raise my five sisters and little brother. I kind of know what I'm doing." Louis said. I shook my head and reached over to fix some of Laila's black hair that had gotten a little messy. I kissed her little head and laid back on the bed. The whole time Louis was watching me like he didn't even know who I was.
Before, I guess you could say I was a carefree person that didn't give a shit about anything. I would party until Louis was dragging me out of wherever we ended up. I had a path of ruined relationships because I was too much of a loose cannon to ever respect one. The number of tattoos increased daily because I couldn't get enough of the way it drove people around me crazy that I was doing that to my own body. If anything, I drank and smoked more than I had water and breathed in fresh air. Overall I was a horrible, self person that I can feel changed the second I had Laila in my arms. I might have saved her from being put up for adoption, but she came and saved me from myself.
"You're a wonderful father. I can already tell this little girl is lucky. Now stop being so overprotective and sleep for thirty minutes. I'll make you breakfast when you wake up." Louis told me. Laila got to the middle of her bottle and squirmed around. Louis immediately begin to burp her like I knew she needed to be. That was a reassuring thing that he actually knew what he was doing. Louis wrapped one arm around me to pulled me into his side then went back to feeding Laila. As I fell asleep, I only thought of how lucky I was to have a such a good best friend and a beautiful daughter.
A/N: I'm already liking this! Here's some back story to who Zayn is in the story. I hope you like it. If there are any questions about this story, feel free to ask them! I'm going to start the fun questions again so here we go!!! Out of all the boys on 1d(Zayn included) who would you fuck, marry or go on a vacation with?!?!?!?! Comment / Vote!
- Bri;)