Epilogue: The Griffin Delusion
Three Years Later
'For fuck's sake!' Andie – the wedding planner – curses, hanging up on the poor soul on the receiving end of her fury before throwing her phone onto the bed in unrestrained anger. 'I can't believe they've managed to cock the bloody bouquets up! We sorted the shitting things months ago! I'll murder the damn bastards!'
I catch Nova's eye in the mirror from where I'm stood behind her, sweeping her loosely curled hair into an updo with bobby pins held between my teeth. We both have to hold down smiles at the way Andie's sailor mouth is going off at full speed - the culmination of months of stressing out over the planning of Nova's wedding.
Nova's mum gasps, clapping a hand to her chest. 'Oh no, what a disaster! What are we going to do? The whole wedding will be ruined!'
'Good Lord,' I mutter so quietly that only Nova can hear me, 'Misplaced flowers are clearly the catalyst for Armageddon.'
Nova chokes down a laugh. 'Andie, Mum, please don't worry about it. If the worst comes to worst, we can honestly just pick whatever's growing on the damn beach and use that. There's no point worrying if there's nothing else which can be done about the situation,' Nova says soothingly, offering Andie a reassuring smile. She reaches an arm out for the glass of water resting on top of the vanity, taking a small sip as I finish off her hair by pinning white flowers in it.
'Regardless, I'm getting our money back – with compensation,' Andie says stubbornly. 'This is unacceptable.'
'Unacceptable,' Nova's mum repeats. 'Quite right.'
'If it'll make you happy, please feel free,' Nova replies, although I can hear the laughter hidden in the folds of her voice. She's clearly too happy to care about anything going wrong, drenched in it and glowing like a star which won't ever go out. 'Although actually guys, do you think you could give me and Laina a few minutes?'
The room is filled with people – Andie, Nova's mum and sister, various friends and cousins, as well as the other two bridesmaids, who all immediately begin to file out. The biggest perk of being a bride, I've noticed, is probably that everyone seems to listen to you like your words are the law of the land.
As I step back to study Nova's makeup to see what finishing touches need to be made to her hair and makeup, she reaches for my wrist and takes my hand.
'Finally - some peace! They're all a noisy bunch, aren't they?' she says a little exasperatedly, although fondness creeps into her expression. 'I've been waiting all morning for it to be just us two!'
'They're mental,' I agree easily, before asking, 'Everything all right, Supernova?'
She nods, a smile slowly pulling her lips upward. 'Everything's perfect, babe. Well – except for the bloody bouquets, apparently, but I'm not fussed about those. I clearly just wanted to get you alone so we can do the dirty one last time before I get married,' Nova says jokingly, making me snort.
'Don't tell Lachlan that!' I tease. 'Now tilt your head back so I can put a bit more eyeliner on you,' I say, reaching for the brown eye pencil.
'In a sec,' Nova interjects, patting my hands away. 'I have something I wanted to give you first.'
Stepping back, I look at her questioningly. 'Why, you crazy woman? You've already given us so much just for being your bridesmaids,' I protest, pointing at the small pile of gifts over in the corner for each me, Essie and Clover.
'My maid of honor has to have something extra special, obviously,' Nova counters, opening the drawer on the left hand side of the vanity. 'Especially having travelled thousands of miles just for me.' She removes something packaged up in pale pink tissue paper, handing it to me.
For a moment, I'm speechless.
'Oh Nova,' I murmur, feeling my eyes start to well up when I unwrap the silver photo frame.
Inside it is the first photo ever taken of the pair of us from sixteen years ago, Nova and me covered in paint and standing proudly outside the treehouse we built in her old garden. It's extraordinary how just glancing down at the snapshot of life instantly transports me back – how I can remember the sound of the click of the disposable camera as Nova's dad pressed down on it to take the photo, and the smell of the red paint which lingered on us for what seemed like weeks.
'How did you manage to find this?'
'Mum and Dad were clearing out the attic and found all the old photo albums which we thought got lost – they sent a few of them over to me,' Nova explains, brown eyes studying my face carefully. 'Do you like it?'
'I love it,' I tell her, having to blink away the blurriness of my vision. 'Of course I love it. I love you, you crazy woman – I keep having to pinch myself when I remember that you're getting married, but I'm more happy for you than I've ever been for anything in my life.' I can't stop myself from throwing my arms around her in a dazed hug.
Nova hugs me back tightly, before whispering in my ear, 'Just a heads up - there's an extra surprise behind the photograph. For when you want to pack your bags and leave rainy England to come and visit a new person who'll be here in eight months or so.'
It takes me a second to fully comprehend what she's saying. When I eventually do, I let go of her so quickly that it's like I've gotten an electric shock and gape at Nova. 'What?!' I gasp.
She winks at me, pressing a finger to her lips secretively. 'See you in eight months, babe.'
*
Everything ends, someone once told me. But somehow, that's rather difficult to believe when you're watching your best friend walk down the aisle, about to make vows which hold the promise of forever.
'Love you,' I see her mouth to Lachlan as she strides down, dressed in white and radiant as ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm crying more than anyone else present, trying to sob as quietly as possible as Nova and Lachlan exchange their vows. The only result of that is a runny nose, which I try and conceal behind the bouquet – pale pink, to mach my bridesmaid's dress - clasped tightly in my hands. (After much screaming down the phone, Andie managed to get the florist to personally drive out with them just in time, much to everyone's relief.)
None of this could have happened on a more beautiful day, or in a more perfect place. The sun has only just begun to set, leaving the sky streaked with orange and purple. It's such a peaceful wedding, with the soundtrack consisting only of the ocean crashing a short distance away. It's all so intimate and warm that it aches.
And then, almost as quickly as it begins, the ceremony is somehow over, and my best friend is a married woman. Suddenly, that seems like a very lonely thought.
As if in panic, my eyes abruptly flick to everyone sat down watching the ceremony.
Most of the people at this wedding are strangers to me, but mercifully, the most familiar face of all is there with his eyes already on me.
It's like I can feel his gray gaze, urging me to look over at him and making my skin prickle; sure enough, when I look over to the fifth row, I can see Griffin grinning his beautiful smile, sat there waiting to flood me with calm and a feeling of being home, wherever it is that we are.
*
'The last time I saw you cry so much was when Bucky died,' Griffin says solemnly, referring to the goldfish he had bought me when he left for his job in New York over three years ago now. ("To let all the other guys know that you're a taken woman," Griffin had said, seemingly oblivious to the huge-ass flaws in his goldfish logic.)
We're some of the first on the dancefloor at the reception, swaying slowly to the music.
'Shut up,' I sniff, using one hand to mock-punch him. 'I was crying because I'm happy.'
Griffin grins, arms tightening around my waist. 'Oh, you were crying? I had to seriously contemplate calling an ambulance because I thought someone was dying, considering the sounds I was hearing being made.'
'You're such a dick,' I roll my eyes, but still end up winding my arms around Griffin's neck and resting my cheek on his chest.
'Yeah, but I can quite confidently say that you still love me despite my dickishness,' Griffin boasts complacently, placing his chin on top of my head.
'Actually, I think this would be a good time to confess that I only love you because of your dick,' I counter, letting out a satisfied cackle when I look up and see Griffin's mouth fall open in response.
'Oi, cheeky,' Griffin says, nudging my cheek with his nose as if to reaffirm his statement. As he draws away, I turn my face to steal a quick kiss from his lips before closing my eyes and losing myself in the slow dance.
And then, as always, the moment is inevitably broken.
'Mind if I step in to dance with the beautiful bridesmaid, mate?' asks a slightly nasal, almost aristocratic voice which I had hoped never to hear again.
Fuck.
It's Nova's cousin Anchor. (Or Wanchor, as we've disgustedly – and to be perfectly honest, quite aptly - referred to him for well over ten years.) Considering he's the same age as Nova and me, we were always lugged with him whenever Nova's aunt and cousins came over to visit – which was far more often than we ever liked. I'm pretty sure he would have hit on Nova years ago if they weren't related, but since they were, he seemed to have developed an unshakable and unfortunate liking for me.
I nearly groan aloud, catching Nova's eye behind Griffin's head and seeing her burst out laughing at Wanchor's having tracked me down. I've been trying to avoid him like the plague for the whole wedding in the hope that some other girl will come along and take a liking to the little creep.
Nova shoots me a thumbs up and a wink from where she's dancing with her dad, mouthing over to me, 'Good luck!'
Griffin looks to me. 'That would be up to the beautiful bridesmaid,' he replies to Wanchor.
I try not to wince. 'I guess one dance can't hurt,' I say weakly, certain that I'm going to regret this as soon as the words leave my mouth.
'Excellent,' Wanchor says pompously, immediately taking hold of my hand and placing it firmly on his shoulder. 'Let us dance, Laina.'
'Er, okay...' I say, shooting an amused-looking Griffin one last look before Wanchor whisks me away in the most terrifying series of jerky movements I've ever been subject to.
'So how have you been, Laina?' Wanchor asks, sounding more than a little breathless. (Considering the weird excuse for a dance we're partaking in, I'm really not surprised.) 'You're looking stunning, as always. Age is only doing you favors.'
I've got no idea how to respond to that remark, deciding that simply ignoring it is probably the best way to go. 'Er, I've been very good thanks. I recently got promoted again at work, so that was lovely,' I add, teeth becoming more and more gritted with every word as I become conscious of his hand sliding further and further down my back. 'How have you been?'
'All the better for seeing you,' Wanchor responds, flashing what he probably thinks is a dashing smile my way. Something about his having given me the supposed compliment makes him think it's acceptable to immediately place his hand on my arse, hands spread and all ready to squeeze.
'Anchor, kindly remove your hand from my arse, or the next thing you know my fist will be so far up yours that you'll feel it in your throat,' I snap, slapping his hands off me in repulsion. 'Keep your hands to yourself, you wanker, or one of these days someone's going to lop off your dick. And then you'll be Wanchor no more, because there'll be nothing left to wank.'. Taking a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, I take a delicate sip before carrying on, 'Just a little stub – a littler one than there is right now, which, you know, probably doesn't seem possible – where your weeny wang used to be.'
I watch Wanchor's face fall into one of horror, and he backs away, looking like he wants to guard his crotch area with steel. I know that was pretty morbid, even for me, but I can't help but smile in satisfaction.
'Did I just hear you threaten to castrate that guy?' Griffin asks, having appeared by my side as if by magic.
'I mean, I didn't specify who would do the dismembering...' I say, watching Griffin shake his head and laugh.
'Moving on from talk of some other guy's cock – come on, my favorite lunatic. I have something I want to show you,' Griffin says, taking my hand in his. It's an action which has happened hundreds of times in the last three years, as natural as breathing now, but it's still as warm and wonderful as the first time.
He leads me outside of the beachfront hotel where the wedding reception is being held to the beach itself, unusually quiet, which makes me raise my eyebrows.
'What did you want to show me?' I question. 'If this was an excuse to finally have sex on the beach, I'm going to need another drink or two.'
Griffin snorts. 'This wasn't an excuse to have sex on the beach, GG. Although I'm hoping you might change your mind about that after this...' His voice trails off as he slowly sinks down onto one knee on the sand.
Hold up, what?
My hands automatically clamp over my mouth in shock.
He laughs in an exhilarated way, as if he can't believe he's really doing this. 'So I think you probably know where this is heading,' Griffin begins, running a hand over his hair. He pauses for a second, his bright gray eyes blazing into mine, before continuing. 'I thought about a hundred places I could have done this – the Empire State Building, that bloody utility closet at work, the Landmark Hotel – but then I realized that it didn't actually matter. Wherever you are is home to me.'
'Griffin,' I whisper, hands twitching by my sides. I'm desperate to bury them in his hair or put them on his face.
He smiles knowingly, eyes shining. 'Let me just start with the most important thing – you make me happy, Laina. Being around you, even when I'm pissed off with you, but especially when I'm laughing with you, makes me the happiest guy on this planet. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how I lived life without you – it's like you made all the lights turn on.'
'I hope that's not a euphemism for you saying I sorted out any issues relating to erectile dysfunction,' I manage to say through the tears blurring my vision. I have to put my hands on Griffin's shoulders to stop myself from swaying and falling over.
'Make of it what you will,' Griffin says laughingly, putting one hand on top of mine and interlocking our fingers, 'but just know that I love you more than I ever thought was possible to feel. You make me smile more in two hours than some people do in twenty years. We've made it through gay delusions and long distance, and somehow I seem to just fall more and more in love with you with each passing day. So what do you say? Will you do me the honor of being my wife?'
There's a split second of silence, and my heart floods with sheer love and adoration when I see uncertainty trickle into Griffin's expression. Surely he can hear the answer singing in my veins.
'You make it very easy to say yes, Griffin,' I say, finally putting him out of his misery, and letting myself put my arms around his neck to rest my forehead against his. The world is still right now, stopping and freezing this one single, perfect moment in time forever.
'The answer is always, always yes when it comes to you. Unless, of course, you want the answer to be no.'
His laugh fills me as our lips finally collide in a familiar kiss which I wouldn't mind lasting forever.
THE END
Aaaaand two years later, that is the end of The Gay Delusion :) I'm so sorry this epilogue has taken nearly two months to post; it's been sat half finished in my files for months and I was too afraid to touch it because it means an ending, and I'm terrible at handling those in fiction and in reality. Nevertheless, I figured that a new year is here and that it was finally time to let this story go :) If this isn't what you expected/liked/wanted out of an epilogue I'm really sorry, but I'm actually really happy with it :) Chapter 29 easily could have been the very end, but I wrote this to tie up a couple of loose ends and give you all as much closure as I could bring myself to write, haha.
Thank you so much to everyone who's read this story and HYJB - your support and loveliness has restored my faith in humanity on numerous occasions. To those of you asking for sequels to my stories - there won't be one for this story, but I'm sure you'll all agree that it doesn't really need one :)
Best of luck with everything, guys - I hope 2016 is the most amazing year for all of us.
Lots of love,
River