So hey! New chapter already! Yeah, I'm like Speedy Gonzales with all these fast updates! ß is what I was going to say when I was going to upload this like weeks ago but then I got writer's block. Anyways, to the side is Veronica!
By the way, I changed who plays Shay! It used to be Lyndsy Fonseca but it's Melanie Iglesias because she fits more.
I'm dedicating this chapter to _mrsmalik__ because she would not get off my ass and stop reminding me that it's been two months since I last uploaded.
Oh and don't forget to follow my Instagram opal_believe96 for all kinds of updates...and stuff!
Hope you like it!
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Chapter Three
Insecurities
"Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop." - Unknown
Okay so maybe I wasn't as ready for "living it up" as I thought I'd been. I tugged the strapless, red bikini top up so it would show less cleavage and tried to pull the matching bottoms down in a fruitless effort to cover more of my ass. Maybe I should've taken baby steps first because there was no point of return anymore with Veronica.
I looked in the bathroom mirror again. My dark auburn hair was waist length and my prized possession. It was the only feature of mine that I liked. My gray eyes were so dark you could barely see the ashen color, but you'd always be able to see the insecurity and fear in them. I'd always thought my nose didn't quite fit my face and my mouth was permanently set in a slight frown. The only reason why my smile was nice was because of the braces I had as an awkward teenager, not that I wasn't still a little bit awkward. My breasts had always been too big and my hips too wide for my petite figure, easily making me feel too chubby for being so short. Plus, being curvy had always been hard, especially in a world where even the zero-sized girls thought they were fat. I'd always hated that I was forever stuck at five feet, one and one-fourth inches. Yes, the one-fourth counts. However, I had gradually come to accept it and didn't mind too much until someone pointed it out. At least the martial arts classes I'd started taking last year had melted the stomach chub I had before, or else this would be a lot worse.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. I hated showing so much skin. What was a skimpy bikini going to cover? Clearly not my boobs and butt.
There was a loud knock on the door and I heard Veronica shout, "I'm sure you look great, now c'mon!"
"I'm coming!" I yelled back before opening the door and stepping out.
"I am officially jealous," Veronica stated, glaring at me.
I wasn't quite sure what to make of that because Veronica Bay is perfect. She'd always been the social butterfly, in high school and college. While I, on the other hand, had always been the shyer, nerdy girl. She was adored by too many boys to count and it was a miracle she hadn't used them for her pleasure. Currently, though, she looked stunning in her yellow bikini. She wasn't very tanned, but her creamy skin didn't take away and her hair was always pretty, wavy, and brown. Her hair framed the heart-shaped face that cradled big chocolate eyes, a cute nose, and one lip slightly fuller than the other. "There's no reason for you to be, but thanks," I replied, flashing her a small smile. She'd made me feel a little bit less nervous.
"Now let's go before I slap you silly," Veronica rolled her eyes at me and started advancing towards the door and opening it. I tugged the bikini top up once more and took a deep breath again before walking out.
This is nerve-racking and terrible. I can't wait till I get in the water and I can hide all this skin. The elevator music was making my head hurt. I yearned to go back to my room and hide under the covers. Plus, the large family taking up more than three-fourths of the elevator didn't help me take deep breaths, as there was barely any room for such an activity.
The elevator door opened on the second floor and there he was, in all his beautiful glory. He was still wearing the leather jacket from before and his hands were in the front pockets of his dark jeans. It was the first time I was seeing his face up close and I noticed his eyes were a dark, vibrant blue, framed by thick, long lashes. His nose was pointy and the perfect size. His lips, though, were so full and pink that I had the unusual desire to kiss them, just to see if they were as delicious as they looked. The sunlight coming in through the windows was hitting him, making his tanned skin look even more flawless and bringing out the gold in his spiked, dark brown hair. I didn't even know his name, yet my heartbeat spiked a little.
His eyes scanned the elevator and landed on mine, the devilish smile that appeared when he ran his eyes slowly up my body only made my heart beat faster as a thrill of electricity ran through me. Even though Veronica was right by me, his eyes never left me. "Maybe I should take the next elevator," he spoke, his voice deep and smooth. I felt a bit disappointed and I couldn't believe myself. I didn't want him to take another elevator just because he was unbelievably hot.
"Nonsense, son," the father of the large family also in the elevator said heartily, "This elevator will be able to fit you!"
He smiled and sauntered over, but the closer he got, the more of his face was out of my line of vision until I was seeing his chest. However, this was fine by me because he made me even more nervous and shy than usual and I wouldn't have been able to meet his eyes anyways. I hadn't noticed how tall he actually was until now. Standing at six feet or higher, he was easily taller than most of the people in the elevator. The smell of mint, spice, and a hint of lavender emanated from him. I wanted to bury my face in his neck to get more of it. Because I was pressed up against the right side of his body, I could feel all the delicious muscles under his shirt. If I had thought my heart had been beating rapidly before, it was on fire now.
The atmosphere had been nerve-racking and tense before, but now it was downright unbearable. It was taking all I had to not to tap the wall behind me with my nails or cover myself up, especially since his great height would allow him to see more of my breasts than I wanted. The main thing, though, was that I didn't want him to see me in this skimpy bikini because I didn't look as great as Veronica.
It was when I was trying not to feel apprehensive about my body that I noticed that the girl from earlier was not with him. Guess it had been just a casual fuck. I was a bit upset that he was possibly a playboy, but then I remembered that I wouldn't see him much on this cruise anyway so it shouldn't even matter. Besides, I was being way too shallow.
When his hand brushed against my leg, I felt a warm feeling down there and my toes curl. It took everything in me not to gasp. I'd never felt anything like this towards a guy before, not even Brett. It was such a foreign feeling that I didn't even realize that I'd been holding my breath until the elevator dinged and the doors opened.
The first to go was the extensive family, then Veronica and I, and finally him. I felt self-conscious walking in front of him, considering half my ass was on display. What if it looked saggy?
When we stopped at a stand close to the elevator, he walked by, but he turned around and flashed me a smirk. It wasn't just any smirk, either, it was a sexy smirk that held a promise. A promise that he'd see me again, soon.
As I watched him disappear into the crowd, I felt stupid because I hadn't been able to do anything but just stand there and gawk at him.
"Oh my god!" Veronica squealed loudly and I cringed slightly, as did other vacationers walking by, "Did you see that look in his eyes? He definitely wants some sexy time with you!"
"Yeah, well, I don't," I said, turning around and trying to sound casual, "at least not with him."
"You think I actually believe you? It was written all over your face what you wanted, especially when he touched you," she responded, rolling her eyes at me.
"Yes, I find him extremely attractive but it's not like anything serious is going to stem out of it. Plus, I don't really want a boyfriend anytime soon." I shut my eyes tight, trying to drown out the images of Brett.
"It doesn't have to be anything serious. Just a summer fling," she beamed at me and her chestnut eyes lit up.
"That's if I see him again," I pointed out.
"I feel like you will," she said as if she were some kind of psychic.
"Let's just go swim." The sooner I get in the water, the sooner I can conceal my skin, even if it's by a little.
"Aren't we going to tell Shannon about this?" I asked as I lay on Veronica's bed while she meandered through her bag, pulling an outfit out every now and then before deeming it hideous.
"Are you crazy? Did we forget the fact that she is a whore?" Veronica peeked her head out of the mountain of clothes and fixated her incredulous eyes on me.
I shrugged. "She usually doesn't go after the guys you go after," I stated. She only goes after the ones I may show a mild interest in.
"I don't want to take the chance." She let out a triumphant smile and got up, holding a deep violet cocktail dress while simultaneously blinding me with her set of white teeth. She just kept grinning and started undressing in front of me, having been over the awkwardness of that task years ago.
I stared at the ceiling and once again, my mind drifted to the mystery boy from earlier. Why do I keep thinking about him? I haven't acted like...like a normal girl in such a long time that it scared me. Maybe I was finally getting over Brett. That thought brought a small smile to my face
"What do you think?" Veronica asked as she swished to the full length mirror gracefully.
"It looks amazing! This Cale guy isn't going to be able to take his eyes off you!" I answered truthfully. Everything about the dress flattered her. The jewel encrusted top half dipped into a V and the bottom skirt jumped around her mid-thigh, showcasing her long legs.
Her grin got even more like the Cheshire cat's and I was afraid it'd stay that way. "I hope so!" she yelped and started taking the dress off and I laid back down. I heard her stop and probably look at me. "His name is Cade." I could imagine her pursing her lips at me and I rolled my eyes.
"Okay, because Cale is kind of a weird name," I paused and teasingly said, "but so is Cade."
I didn't even have to sit up to know that she was glaring at me and I giggled a bit before pursing my lips. "So why am I going again?" I asked, raising myself to my elbows with a raised eyebrow.
"Because he has a friend he wants you to meet," she replied while delicately applying eyeshadow.
"And what happens when I don't want to meet him?" I asked, knowing I was treading in dangerous waters.
She didn't even falter in putting her eyeliner on, nor did she miss a beat, "I knew you'd say that, but it was actually me who said I wouldn't go unless you could come along. He was sweet enough to have the nicest one of his friends be your date," then she turned around and walked towards me before kneeling down in front of me. "And you would never say no to me, would you?" Her chocolate brown eyes gave an illusion of growing in size and even though she only had eyeliner on half of one eyelid and glittering eyeshadow on both, and she was meant to look the opposite of adorable, she still managed to look that and so incredibly sad. I felt myself pull my eyebrows down and try to avoid her dejected stare, I couldn't focus on anything other than her piercing eyes.
"I hate you," I sighed in surrender before flopping down on the bed.
"I know you love me, Sweets," the smirk on her face could be heard miles away, "Now c'mon, let's find you a dress."
After searching my bag of whore clothes, we found a dress. A whore dress and I told Veronica exactly that.
"It's not a whore dress," she rolled her eyes, "You think that everything above your knees is slutty."
"Fine. But isn't it a bit much?" I glared at the dress, as if it was my arch enemy. I glared at how formfitting it was, at the single diamond strap over my right shoulder that curved to my hip, at how the white actually complimented my skin. Maybe the fact that I look overweight will keep the boys away.
"I know that look in your eyes," Veronica said, annoyed. "You do not look fat, nor are you." She turned me away from the mirror and firmly grasped my shoulders. "You look so beautiful, Sweets, and sexy," she winked before turning serious again, "I don't know why you can't see it." I couldn't help but think about how it would be if I had to constantly be soothing her and telling her that she was beautiful, like she did with me. I wish I could believe it.
I shut my eyes tightly and breathed deeply through my nose, remembering all the times I'd been told the opposite. All the times I'd been told to hide my hideous body. By him. I tried to push all that away and think about how I had beat myself into shape and how I was trying to escape from the nightmare he had been. He wasn't supposed to be relevant anymore. I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes internally with growing frustration with myself. But he still was.
I couldn't let his words still cloud up my judgment and clog my eyes when looking at myself. He wasn't around anymore, but the alcohol-induced words he'd spoken to me still left that singing mark, that paranoia that I would never surmount to anything or be enough for anyone. There had been an ache in my heart for too long, yet, even now, I was too scared to allow myself to remove it. Why do I still think of him every day? Even a year later. If only the therapy had been as effective as I was told it'd be.
I had to divert my thoughts to something else, and quickly, because I knew that what would ensue would be far worse, so I said something that would make Veronica jump with utter joy, "And my makeup?" As predicted, she did bounce on her heels as she set a chair in front of the mirror and sat me down on it. I grimaced at her excitement, "Just don't put too much on, ok?"
"Oh that's too bad, I was going to practice my clown makeup," she replied sarcastically.
"Haven't you already practiced enough on yourself?"
She gasped, highly offended, and hit me with the nearest available object before bursting out in ear-shattering laughter with me.
"Don't you think we should start going now?" I pondered impatiently, after what seemed like forever, but in reality was probably fifteen or twenty minutes.
"Sh," Veronica said sharply. She was in her "zone" as she did want to aspire to open her own beauty salon and then beauty school one day. "Perfect," she muttered after a few minutes.
Getting up and turning around, since she wouldn't let me face the mirror, I made eye contact with myself and almost gasped. The light smoky eyeshadow she'd done made the gray in my eyes sultry and bright. My cheekbones were highlighted and my lips seductive. I couldn't believe it was me. "Wow, I never knew you were so good with makeup," I breathed out, still trying to comprehend that the face in front of me was in fact me, plain old Shay Brooks.
"Oh please, all I had to do was accentuate your natural beauty," she brushed it off but I could see that she was proud of her work.
I turned to her, "Thank you!" I hugged her tightly before pulling back and adding, "You look beautiful yourself! He'll definitely be calling you back!" I winked at her and she grinned from ear to ear.
We grabbed our heels and walked out the door. Somewhere deep down, I was hoping he would be my date.
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Cliffhanger!! I was originally gonna have the bar scene in this chapter but decided against it! But I promise you will actually find out his name in the next chapter and he will make an appearance longer than a few seconds!
Well the chapter was pretty long, I think, so hopefully you guys are happy.
Don't forget to vote and comment what you think!!
Song of the Upload:
Royals by Lorde (amazing song!!)
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