"You've been troublesome."
Me? I wondered.
"Who the hell else? You're a horrid vessel."
Vessel... Cordelia?
~
"Miyako, I've trained you since your birth," my father said, his stern brow lowered over scrutinizing eyes. Dread severely settled into my stomach as I analyzed his expression and tone. Was I going to be punished? It was always so hard to tell... "Don't disappoint me now."
"You've prepared me well, father," I said as evenly as I could. My belly felt like jello. "Of course I'll succeed. What is the next step in my training? The mission we discussed? The heart?"
My father crossed his arms, his parish uniform barely wrinkling as he did so. Excitement flashed across his face momentarily but was under strict composure once more. That was never a good sign.
"There is no more I can teach you," he said with utmost certainty and my eyes widened. "It is time for you to make your first kill."
"How? Where? When?"
"Patience!"
I quieted instantly. Panic was now pulsing hotly through my veins. As much as I despised demons, could I really manage to kill one? I'd mangled and tortured them so perhaps this wasn't too large a step to take.
"I have the whole thing planned," he said. "You're to be the sacrificial bride in a household of vampires."
A household? Oh god...
"You will receive a new heart – the heart that previously belonged to a vampire. It will make you more delectable in their eyes. They'll be more drawn to you and therefore more vulnerable."
"Easier to kill," I surmised, leaning forward in my chair. We'd been over this... even so... my job wouldn't be easy.
"Exactly."
"How many are there?"
"There are many, but the household I have you currently assigned to holds six brothers. They're pure-blood vampires, stronger than changed vampires, but I am certain of your abilities."
"Surely heart surgery will diminish my abilities, Father."
"You are not to accept failure as an option."
"I see, Father."
So I'm as good as dead...
"Very good," I say instead, keeping my face impassive.
"Something happened, didn't it?" Cordelia surmised, another audience member to the movie of my past that was playing inside my head. "You forgot the instructions your father gave to you."
But what happened, exactly?
"Count down from ten, Miyako."
I nodded, as I felt the prick of the needle. At four, I was under; there was only darkness.
But then, there was light. A woman with long blonde hair stood before me, her seafoam green eyes were unmistakable. She looked ethereal, a creature of half light and half human origin.
"Mom?" I asked, aghast.
The answer had risen to my lips as if I'd seen her face my entire life.
"Yes, my dear."
"How...?"
She smiled forlornly and put a hand to my cheek. Her touch felt like sunlight on my cold skin.
"Am I dead?" I asked.
"No," she whispered. "I wished to speak with you, sweetheart."
"About what?"
"Your father, your mission."
"I'm a demon hunter mom. I'm... I'm going to rid the world of demons. I-"
"No."
I blinked a few times.
"But they killed you mom... the demons..."
"Demons can be cruel, but they were not the ones to kill me. You know who killed me, but you don't want to believe it. That's just fine - with my blessing I can spare you from ever knowing."
"Blessing? But, I've got to finish what I've started... Father will kill me!"
"No, you don't and I'll provide you with protection. I want a happier life for you, but that isn't possible if you choose a path of violence."
"There is no other way! I don't have a choice!"
"There is. There always is. Be kind, my love. I remember when you hadn't a violent bone in your body. After my death, your father molded you into something you shouldn't be. You are meant to find the good, Miyako, not the bad. Eliminate the bad, not by killing, but by dissipating it with your kindness. I beg you, this is the only way to end this terrible life you have led thus far."
"But... it's all I know... and what about Rin?"
"I know, my dear. I can only do so much. I will pray for her safety and guidance, but for now I can only try to ensure yours."
Her shining eyes closed as she embraced me, then held me out at arm's length.
"I will erase the memories of violence, Miyako."
She leaned in with her pale pink lips and kissed my forehead.
"So this is what has protected you for so long?" Cordelia asked as if disgusted. "Your mother's blessing?"
My mother...
"Your little friends brought the memories of violence back which means you've got a little weak spot in mother dearest's blessing."
What does that mean?
"It means I'm free."
~
Soft pink sheets were what I saw when I opened my eyes.
"You're awake," Subaru said. He sat by my side, his eyes trained on my face. "It's been a hassle trying to keep Ayato off of you; he wanted to suck the blood from those pricks in your stomach."
"Thank you Subaru," I muttered, sitting up and pressing my lips to his forehead.
"A-Are you alright? You look pale."
"I'm okay. I need to go for a walk alone in the garden to clear my mind."
"Be quick about it," Subaru agreed as I kicked away the sheets and stood.
My bare feet were cold when they touched the stone floor. I felt it seep into my very bone as I made my way outside. The compact earth didn't provide any warmth and the unforgiving night air deepened my discomfort. My heart, which had been twinging since I'd awoken, beat furiously in my ribcage.
I stopped at the white rose bushes, petting the velvety petals with a finger and loosing myself to deep, dark thoughts. Undeniably, I had fallen in love with those vampires that I had been ordered to kill. My finger strayed from the petals and slipped upon the stem, slitting itself slightly on a thorn. A small bead of blood welled up.
My heart thudded wetly in my chest and I grasped at it with a hand but only held a fistful of shirt. When I opened my eyes she was standing before me.
"Cordelia," I said, my eyes widening.
"Yes, little pet."
I frowned at her, but my heart beat as punishment, forcing me down onto my knees in pain.
"Richter will be here soon," she murmured, lifting her chin to stare into the woods. "The Awakening has been a long time coming, but once he smells your blood on the air he'll know it's time.
"He orchestrated this for me. He was the one to remove my heart after my sons destroyed me; the heart that is now in you, belongs to me. I suppose your father didn't account for this, did he?"
"I suppose not," I growled, trying to fight the pain.
"Cordelia."
She and I turned to the sound of the voice.
A man with murky hair and similarly colored eyes emerged from the shadows as if he had melted from them.
"Richter?" I asked, standing up once more.
"Cordelia," he said, looking reverently at me.
"She's not here-"
The sentence ended in a yelp as pain crippled me once more.
"Oh you're making this all too easy now," Cordelia chided, her pointed grin stretching across her face as she leaned in. "You're supposed to be a fighter."
But I haven't been, have I?
It was then that my body ceded control. I was now a passenger Cordelia was the conductor.
"Richter," Cordelia said, drawling my voice in a way that was unfamiliar to my ears. It was as if she was trying to deepen and richen it. "This body is mine now."
"My dear Cordelia," he cooed, reaching out a hand to take mine. Cordelia held it out willingly for him. It was not hers to give. This irritated me greatly.
Richter had the same upright attitude I remembered. He looked somewhat more tired than he did then, he was still chalk-pale and eerie-eyed. His attire was similar, as if he was more of a dreary nobleman than a high-and-mighty vampire.
"Come, Cordelia, let's dress you in proper attire.
He led us through empty halls, crimson carpeted halls; the floors were so silent under my feet. I wished they would make noise for me – the prisoner trapped in her own body. Up stairs that wound like snake's spines, we went. Cordelia was bubbling with glee, excited for the moment in which she could use this body for her deepest desires.
The fact that I was still a virgin excited her greatly; it filled me with a sense of dread. Would she give my body to Richter? I hoped not. It would be just as horrible if she laid with any of the brothers simply because I wanted my purity to be given up of my own volition.
"Here, my darling," he said softly, leading me into a room and triggering some hidden panel with is deft fingers.
The secret passage that opened behind lead to a gorgeous black dress.
I know this dress...
"Ah, my dress, Richter you kept it for me," Cordelia said, more matter-of-factly than with an air of pleasant surprise.
"Put it on," he encouraged, putting a hand on my waist.
Get the hell off! I screamed in my head.
Cordelia whirled around, stepping away from Richter.
"My love?" he asked.
"I will," she said, smoothing over her composure onto my features like butter.
I could sense she was confused, but she covered it with a leering smile. My cheeks weren't supposed to pucker that way – her smile was lethal.
"You did that," she accused of me.
Of course I did. This is my body.
"Not anymore!" she snarled under her breath.
"Cordelia?"
"Nothing!" she sang.
The black dress fitted to my form, slipping over my curves and settling comfortably on my hips.
"Ah, Richter," Cordelia cooed, striding over to wrap her arms around his neck.
"You look ravishing."
"I know. This dress has always flattered me, hasn't it?"
"Indeed."
It was then that Richter began swooping in; I could count his eyelashes. His lips were about to land on my own, but I wrenched back into control and pulled forcefully away.
"Cordelia?"
"Stay the hell away from me," I snarled and fled from the room.
I hitched the dress up above my knees and sprinted through the halls. My cream-blonde hair flew out behind me as I ran senselessly without a clue as to where to go.
You know how to defeat vampires, I lectured in my head. Stab them through the heart with a silver blade.
It was simple. A simple thing to do – Subaru had the blade I needed. Yet, the vampire I wished to kill shared my heart...
It's not hard: you would rather die than let this monster of a creature steal your body.
And so I ran toward Subaru's room. I was panting by the time I collapsed against the shining mahogany of his doors. My heart hurt as if it were anticipating the pain of the piercing it knew would come. The doors swung inwardly beneath my slick palms and I tumbled into the room, staggering to a bedpost and clutching it feverishly. Enough of this pain.
Turns out my dad's the worst sadist to ever walk the earth.
I pulled myself along the edge of the bed.
He made me abuse my friends.
The nightstand was beneath my fingertips.
Then he sent me to be vampire food.
I yanked open the drawer.
With a heart that is about to mutiny my body.
The silver knife sat glittering against the glimmering wood of the drawer. The gems in its hilt winked up at me as if to say 'knew you'd come around'. Of course, once upon a time, Subaru had offered me the knife with the main purpose of either defending myself or killing myself in the face of these vampires.
I forced myself to my feet with the knife grasped tightly in both hands and pointed it inwardly to my heart. Pain shot through my chest like a spear while a piercing shriek scraped out of my throat. Before I could even place the blade against my skin, I collapsed onto the edge of the bed; the knife slipped out of my grasp and clattered to the floor with a forlorn cling.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Subaru..." I gasped, looking up to see his furious red eyes staring down at me. He snatched my wrist and pinned it against the bed so that I couldn't even think about retrieving the knife. His other hand cuffed my shoulder. Once, twice, three times I was shaken vigorously before I was thrown onto the bed where I bounced pathetically.
"Miyako! Answer me!"
"Subaru help me," I groaned, curling in upon myself and grabbing my knees as if I were a toddler.
Pain shot through me once more and I closed my teeth on my fist angrily. Blood spurted out from between my lips and dribbled down my fingers, pooling in my closed fist and dripping onto the bed.
"Miyako?" Subaru's voice shifted immediately into viciously protective concern. "Tell me."
"It's Cordelia," I gasped out then bit down hard on my arm. My teeth buried themselves deep into my skin so that my gums could feel the strong pulse of blood that welled up and flooded my mouth.
"Enough Miyako!" he growled, pressing points on my jaw to force me to release my own flesh.
"It hurts so much."
"Your blood... smells...bitter, rotten..." Subaru shook his head to clear it, raising his eyes from my bloodied mouth to my watery eyes. He snatched up his knife and tucked it into his waistband. "We'll go to Reiji."
He hoisted me up into his arms and a wash of cool air signaled the rapid teleportation.
"Subaru!" Reiji growled, rounding from his chemistry table to glower, but his expression changed upon seeing me... and smelling my blood. "What happened?"
"The Awakening-"
A scream interrupts him. I realize it's my own. There are words I wish to say, but they're choked in my lungs before reaching my lips.
"This is my body now!"
I would have fainted; that's what it felt like to my consciousness. But the moment I went slack, my body instantly reanimated with Cordelia in control.
"Put me down," she ordered Subaru.
"Miya-"
"Now."
The moment my feet were on the floor, Cordelia stole the dagger back, swept from the room, and with an eager determination on my features, set off with the intention of finding Richter. My vampire lovers were shell shocked, I could sense that much, but Cordelia didn't spare them a backwards glance as she sashayed my body out of the room.