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Chapter 35
I tucked my arms behind my head as I got settled in bed and stared up at the knots in the ceiling. Questions swirled in my mind. Was I really falling for Marco? I’ve only known him for a grand total of five days, but in that time, he’s shown me how to open up more, even if it’s only to my own thoughts, and that certainly wasn’t something to overlook.
Did love happen this fast? Could it? I didn’t believe in love at first sight, and I didn’t know about true love or soul mates or all that jazz. All I really knew was that even if I wasn’t in love with Marco, if he wasn’t in love with me, if we ended up breaking up a week from now, I knew that he was special to me. He was a small oasis that I had every selfish intention of keeping in my desert.
Of course I could live without him--if I couldn’t, that’d be a good example of an unhealthy relationship; being addicted to somebody is always bad--but he was just now showing me how to see the colors in life when I just assumed everything was black and white. No, I didn’t need him, but I wanted him so badly. I wanted to show him the old tree at my elementary school that I’d etched my name into. I wanted to take him to the Mississippi River during the sunset to watch the colors give his hair a coppery glow. I wanted to be there for him during his first day of school and hold his hand when he got nervous--or just be there to watch him flourish.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I guess love was just like every single other complex emotion: confusing. Should I tell him? Would he think I was crazy for saying something like that this early in our relationship? What if he didn’t feel the same way? Would he feel pressured to say it back if I told him?
“Quit it,” Eren mumbled from his bed. “You’re making too much noise.”
My pillow was squished to my face, and I realized that I must’ve been tossing and turning as much as my thoughts. “Sorry.” I rolled to my side and got comfy.
He grunted.
I let my eyes close. I could deal with my problems as they came. After all, he was going to be living down the street from me.
* * *
The man watched as the boy with the freckles kissed the other paler one on the forehead and followed the blond to their cabin. The pale one watched them leave. He had a soft, adoring look on his face. The one with the freckles bit his lip while he followed the blond as if he knew what the pale one was doing.
The man still wanted the freckled one. He knew he’d be wonderful to play with. He would’ve bet his left lung that the boy was a screamer. Oh, yes. How wonderful it would be when he could do what he wanted with this new little pawn.
He couldn’t have the boy here though. No, he’d already caused enough commotion with the other three. He couldn’t risk being caught, not when he wanted to desperately to know why this kid was so familiar.
Soon, he assured himself.
* * *
I sat on the dock and swung my legs, my feet skimming the water and throwing ripples in all directions. Marco bumped my shoulder with his, trying unsuccessfully to hide a grin. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
I wrinkled my nose and rubbed between my eyes. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“You went down pretty hard...”
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to remind me.” I flopped back and closed my eyes. The air was peacefully quiet again now that everybody had had a chance to water ski. Marco convinced me to do it too. Being the gloriously toned god he is, he managed to get up and make it look easy, making it all the way around the lake before gracefully sliding into the water when he returned. I got three tries, and each time I ended up with a nose-full of lake water.
He laid down next to me and turned his head in my direction. Our fingers brushed. I turned my own head and looked at him with pursed lips. We stared at each other before he had to wink, and I became a fucking mess. He snorted loudly at my blushing, stuttering self.
“Jesus, Marco--you’re gonna make my heart fail before we even get home!”
His grin was innocent enough, but I could tell he was pleased with himself. “Good.” I made a face, and he kissed my nose. “Home,” he murmured, reaching his index finger out to snag mine.
I love you Marco. Jesus Christ I love you so much.
“Will you come visit me?”
“That’s a stupid question,” I grumbled. “How could I not?”
His smile made my heart swell. “Really? Jean, you’re the best.” His finger squeezed mine lightly.
Dear God don’t say shit like that. “Of course I am.” I hoped my grin hid my obviously mushy insides. “Don’t you forget it, or I’ll beat your ass. I hoped to everything that was holy that his blush was a figment of my imagination. Why did I have to mention ass-beatings? Way to sound kinky, Jean.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied finally. It was quiet for another couple moments. “What’s it like there? I don’t remember much from when I lived there.”
I chewed on my lip in thought. “Well it’s kind of a small town, but it isn’t quaint by any means. There’s two elementary schools, one middle school, and one high school. At one end of town, there’s a park. There’s another one by the river and one in the center of town.”
“The river?”
“Oh, right. The Mississippi.” He nodded, and I continued. “There are various restaurants all over--I’ll show you the really good ones. Um... It gets really hot and muggy in the summer, and there’s mayflies all over.” I made a face. “Annoying as hell, I’m telling you. The winters are generally cold, but I suppose you’d be okay with it since you came from the land of the cheese heads.”
He laughed. “I’m not really into football.”
I chuckled too. “People in town are. The home games are on Friday nights. The marching band plays and the dance team performs. I’m there mostly for that and to walk around with... acquaintances.” I shrugged. “I can’t tell the difference between a quarterback and a wide receiver.”
We talked easily and hung out the rest of the day. That night, both of our families went down to the edge of the lake and roasted marshmallows with the fire pit the Rals rented. I have to say, watching Eren burn his tongue because he was too impatient to blow on it and wait thirty seconds was damn amusing. Connie managed to somehow eat more than six--I lost count after that--before he passed out from the sugar overload. Bertholdt smeared melted chocolate all over Armin’s nose, much to Petra’s chagrin. Marco did the same to me, and I guess my bewildered look was enough to make him laugh hard enough to fall backwards into the sand. I wrinkled my nose at him and called him a dork. Mom couldn’t help but laugh too, and I begrudgingly let her take a picture. Even Dad smiled. I decided that if anybody could get an award for the most perfectly roasted marshmallows, it was Mikasa. They were the perfect golden color all over, and they looked amazing.
Eventually, Bertholdt smothered the fire with sand, and Petra nudged Armin towards the cabin. Dad picked up Connie and headed back to our cabin while Eren and Mikasa said goodbye to Armin. I pecked Marco on the cheek and promised to visit him in the morning before I left. He smiled and told me he’d be waiting.
I turned to head back to the cabin to see that Mom waited for me. We walked in silence, but it wasn’t the awkward oh fuck, what do I say? silence.
“Did you like it here?” she asked before we crossed the street.
I nodded. “Yeah. The weather was really nice all the damn time, and the lake was fun.”
“I’d say water skiing wasn’t your forte.”
“We don’t talk about that!” I exclaimed, feeling my face flush again. I could still feel the water in my nose.
She laughed. “Okay, okay, Jean boy. I got it on video, by the way.”
I groaned. “Fuck.”
“Hey.” She flicked my arm. “Language.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled meekly.
She stopped me when we got on the porch by place her hand on my upper arm. “I’m glad you had fun.” She smiled softly. “And I’m glad you found somebody that makes you happy. Even if you end up just as friends.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
She kissed my head and went inside. I sat on the edge of the porch and looked at the sky. I’d overheard that the northern lights would be visible tonight. The workers in the lodge were telling us all that today, so I figured I would stay out to see it.
Twenty minutes later, I was nodding off despite how hard the wood was against my back. The only thing that kept me from falling totally asleep was Eren opening the door. I tilted my head to look at him. “What are you doing?” he asked.
I sat up. “Northern lights are visible tonight. I wanted to see them.”
“Oh. Can I...?”
I patted the space beside me. “Yeah, go ahead.”
He shut the door behind me and settled down next to me. We both laid down again. Neither of us spoke, but we’d never been ones for words. Usually, we ended up fighting about something when we tried to talk to each other, so neither one of us dared disturb the peace.
“Look!” Eren elbowed me and pointed up at the sky. There was a faint green glow that seemed to pulse. “Is that it?”
I sat up and squinted. “I think so.”
“It isn’t very impressive.”
“No,” I agreed. “But that’s to be expected. We’re in Minnesota, not Northern Canada.”
He shrugged and looked up at the lights. They seemed to be shifting from green to pink and back. They really weren’t that impressive--you’d have to be looking for them to know that they were there. They were cool nevertheless.
We stayed out and watched them until we physically couldn’t keep our eyes open. Inside, we went to our respective beds and passed out immediately.