As Told By Tuck & Axel

由 koalak

1.1M 82.9K 38.5K

This is the story of Axel and Tuck: a tale of debauchery, douchebaggery, felony, and plain stupidity. It is a... 更多

Preface
Part One
How It Began
The Prompt
I Can't Sleep
Mags
The Halloween Banger of 2007
Halloween and Other Drugs
Colleges Should Apply to Me, Not I to Them
Morning Wood
Tucker Goes to Deutschland
Reason Number 1
Oh, The Joys of Being "Popular"
Tucker Gets More Than He Bargained For
Tucker Gets More Than He Bargained For... Again
Axel Says a Weird Thing
The End of An Era, but the Start of A New One
Part Two
PSU Teaches me a Thing About Tuck
Something About Cain
Tucker Proves Himself Worthy
Never Let Him Go
Ryan Says an Inappropriate Thing
Maggie and I Make a Switch
I Realize Something About Axel
The Theater House
You're Welcome, Tuck
A Change of Tide
Mom-I'm Gonna be A LAWYER!
Kyle's Visit
Two Mutts
Why I Punched a Cop
Something Tuck Doesn't Even Let Maggie Do
Untitled
Get Ready Blue Devils
Part Three
Something Axel Doesn't Know
Tuck and I Develop a New Habit
Permission Granted
Are You Jealous?
Store Credit
I Almost Piss Myself in a Bar
I'm A Bitch
Ryan's Doorman
A Discussion
Peter
Two More Rings
Love
Mail
I Believe You're Missing Something
An SOS
Now What?
The Wedding
(Almost) The End
Now, The End.
Meet The Authors
Note From KB

Hawaii Biiiiitch

19K 1.2K 878
由 koalak


Chapter: Hawaii, Biiiiiitch

Author: Axel Otto

Before we left for Hawaii, our publisher friend Dave (the one who said he would read our book, send back feedback, and try and get it on shelves) asked us to fax him over what we had written so far. He said he would put me and Tuck's parts together, in chronological order, and then send them back to us with edits and comments, ect. Tuck and I finished sending everything over to Dave a few minutes before we left for the airport. Obviously, what I'm writing right now won't be included in the first draft that he's editing. Tuck and I agreed to keep writing, and maybe eventually decide on a stopping point for the book. But for right now, the mission is a go.

Tuck and I were by far the most excited to get away from city life and settle into four days of nothing but lying on the sand and drinking margaritas until we can't stand to look at them any longer. As soon as we got to our resort, Tuck and I were the first ones at the check in desk.

"Checking in for Mayes," Tuck was out of breath. "Rick Mayes."
The native woman behind the counter gave the two of us a small smile before she started clicking away on her computer. The rest of our family filed in behind us.

"Okay, you have three rooms set up for your stay. One is the honeymoon suite," Rick stepped right in front of my grubby, eager hands, and nabbed the room key right out of her hands, giving me a warning glare.

"Watch yourself, Otto. This one's mine." The woman laughed and I grinned cheekily at him. She held out two more sets of room keys.

"This room," she said, indicating the two keys in her right hand. "Is on the tenth floor. The other is on the fifth." Tuck grabbed the keys to the room on floor 10.

"Axel and I will take this one," he gave me a fist bump. "Tenth floor, baby. I hope we get a balcony!"

Right as I was about to express my agreement for that sentiment, Maggie cleared her throat from behind us. "Tucker? Are you forgetting something?"

He turned around, confused, then started patting his pockets and checking for his luggage. "What, did I leave my passport somewhere?"

I snorted. "We're still in America, dipshit."

"Shit, you're right," he turned towards Maggie. "What am I forgetting?"

Maggie sighed. "You're forgetting me. Axel's rooming with Pete, remember?" I admired how patient Maggie sounded. Tuck reddened.

"I didn't forget. Nope, didn't forget," he handed me the keys to the room on the tenth floor. "And look, we're on the fifth floor. I chose this room because guess what I didn't forget? Your fear of heights, that's right! Best fiancé ever!"
Tuck reached down and kissed her cheek briefly. Maggie giggled, and Pete and I rolled our eyes.

"Tuck, Danny's coming in tonight at the heliport, and I'd like you and Axel to come greet him and bring him over to the resort for dinner. He'll be staying with his company at a hotel down the street because he's technically here on business, but he'll be here for the wedding and for tonight."

"Awesome!" Tuck was smiling.

I turned to Tuck. "Danny?" I figured he was one of Rick's friends.

"Danny is Rick's son. You never met him because by the time Rick and mom got together, Danny was out of college and living in the city. I've only met him a couple times myself, but he's an awesome guy, you'll love him."

I nodded. "Sounds good."
"Alright gang, let's bring everything upstairs so we can hit the beach for a few hours before dinner."

I turned towards Pete, handing him the extra key. "Race you to the room?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Axel, you're not 17 anymore. Plus, this bag weighs like 25 pounds."

I gave him a dirty look. "Tuck would have raced me," I mumbled, following him as he made his way towards the elevator. He snickered and looked back at me.

"Tuck does a lot of things that I wouldn't even dream about doing with you."

Instead of denying his accusations, I gave him a wicked grin. "What else are friends for?" Pete groaned.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with you for four days."

I pinched his cheek, but he shoved my hands away from his face. "Love you too, sweetie."

"Yeah, whatever."



It was around five when Danny's helicopter landed. Rick had rented a car, so we drove it to go pick Danny up.

A group of five or so men got out of the helicopter, all of them very good looking and well dressed. Tuck got out of the car and waved at the group of them, and a blonde one waved back. He was tall, taller than Tuck, with brown eyes and blonde hair that flopped all over to one side. He was very attractive.

I unbuckled my seat belt and got out of the car to introduce myself.

Tucker gave him a bro-hug, and some congratulations about Tuck's impending marriage were exchanged. Then, they both turned to me.

"Hey Danny, I'm Axel, Tuck's best friend. It's good to finally meet you."

He shook my hand and licked his lips. "Nice to meet you too. German, are you? I have a coworker from Berlin, he sounds just like you."

I was surprised that he had picked out my accent that easily. People rarely recognized it anymore. "Yeah, I was born and raised in Pullach, Barvaria, just about six hours from Berlin."

Danny nodded. "Germany's great. I've done business there, it's a beautiful place."

The rest of the ride back to the hotel consisted of more Germany talk. Luckily, Tuck was able to chime in, considering he had been with me the first year we met. I was starting to like Danny. He was a well read and respectable man. He even had Rick's eyes.

We went right to dinner, a restaurant that was practically on the beach at our resort. It was incredible. Tuck and I had a chugging contest, and then after dinner we decided to go in the ocean.

"Pete, Danny, you guys coming?" Tuck was already pulling off his shirt.

"Hell yes!" Danny was the next one unbuttoning his freshly pressed top. Peter gave all three of us a look.

"You are all barbarians. Magdalene and I are staying where there is alcohol and chocolate cake." Maggie raised her beer.

"Amen to that."
We shrugged, then ran to the water. Halfway down, I jumped onto Tuck's back. He laughed, almost fell, regained his balance, then followed Danny towards the ocean.

Tuck threw me in with no warning, and I broke through the previously still ocean coughing up seawater. "DAMN YOU OAKSY!"

I pushed him, and he pushed me back. We began a war that wouldn't end until Danny finally pulled me off a half-drowning Tucker.

After we caught our breath, Tuck disappeared under the water. I swore, and Danny raised his eyebrows at me.

"I swear if he grabs my balls, I'm going to kill—FUCK!" Danny burst out laughing as I collapsed under Tuck's grip on my crotch. I unsuccessfully tried to ward off his grip, but I was starting to get hard and my body wasn't about to fight that, so I relaxed until Tuck burst out of the water again, laughing hysterically.

I pushed his chest. "You bitch, now I'm hard as fuck!" This only made Tucker laugh harder. He laughed so hard he fell into me, gripping my shoulder for support.

I glanced over at Danny to ask for some help or something, except he was too busy giving me this weird, knowing stare to do anything else.

"What's your deal?" I asked him, a bit offended by his staring.

He shook his head. Tuck peeled himself off me. "What's happening?" he was out of breath.

"Nothing," Danny said, shaking his head. "You two are just so damn obvious, it's hard not to say something."

"Hmm?" I was too busy staring at the water droplets hanging from Tuck's eyelashes to even hear him.

Tuck stood up straight. "Nothing is obvious. We're not obvious. What are you talking about?" Tuck's response only made Danny chuckle, which made Tuck upset. Tuck pushed himself off me, and started walking towards shore. "Whatever, I'm freezing. I'm gonna go grab a towel."

I cupped my hands around my mouth. "PUSSY!"

Tuck looked back at me and smiled, but kept walking. I sighed, and turned back to Danny.

"He's moody as fuck. Don't worry about it." I let my hand disturb the water that had settled around me as my fingers slid through the place Tuck had just been standing.

"I'm not worried about it."

I didn't respond to Danny. Instead, I pushed myself off my feet and began floating on my back. Judging by the splashing next to me, Danny did the same.

"So, Maggie's hot, isn't she? Tucker's a lucky man."

I snorted. I guess he didn't catch the whole Maggie-is-my-sister memo.

"If you're into that."

"Into what? Girls?" Danny wasn't floating anymore. I picked my head up, and let my feet fall back into the sand.

"Not girls. Incest. Magdalene is my sister."

Danny's mouth formed an O. Then, he laughed. "I was wondering why you two looked so much alike! I figured Tucker just had a type!"

I gave him a look. "Apparently," I muttered. "He does."

"What came first, you or her?"

"For Tucker?" he nodded. "Me. Then Maggie. Then me. Then Maggie. Then Me. Then Maggie. Now he's all about her, hence the ring and such."

I didn't know why I was suddenly spilling my saga to Danny, but it felt good to tell a non-bias third party observer. He nodded.

"I take it you don't favor the impending marriage?"

I shrugged, but didn't have the energy to elaborate.

He took a deep breath. "Everything happens for a reason, Axel."

I tried to give him a smile. "I hope you're right."

He gave me a genuine one back. "Just for the record, I usually am."



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