Ally was done. Completely and utterly done. She paced down the hallways of Marie's Shelter, her mind driving her nuts. She couldn't take this job anymore. She had just witnessed yet another breakdown of one of the teens and was close to having one herself. This was not the job for her. She needed to go back to her old blog online and deal with simple problems. Not the kid down the hall, hysterically crying because of abuse suffered months before this.
She was hyperventilating and was unable to stop. Why did the world allow things like this? She considered herself great at giving advice, found she was able to be the rock to many people when they needed one and most of all, they trusted her. But she couldn't take another day like this. In the matter of only the two hours she had been there, the new kid had tried to slit his wrists, the girl who showed up two weeks ago without saying a word had locked herself in the bathroom, and well, now the kid hysterical down the hallway, unable to listen to anyone.
She marched toward the offices, tired of her boss throwing her these kids and not helping at all. She couldn't do everything. She was only sixteen and had problems of her own. The place was over packed and under staffed. In fact, she was the only one around other than Marie, who didn't even want to deal with some of the people she took in.
But it was in that moment when someone pulled her to the side, looking frantic.
"Riker, not now," she begged. She needed to get this over with so she could leave and get on with her life. She loved the boy in front of her, probably more than anyone else in this entire fucked up place, but she had to leave, even him.
He tugged on her arm again, as if he was pleading with her. Could he possibly know what she was thinking?
He shook his head angrily and pointed to the door down the hallway. Dez's room.
"What's wrong with Dez?" she asked.
Riker sighed, looking to her as if to say 'you think I'm actually able to tell you?'
"Okay, let's go," she sighed too, following the mute boy. She walked down to the room where Dez and Riker shared, noticing that the bathroom door was locked. Immediately, Riker made motions to his wrist, as if he was slicing it. She looked alarmed and pounded on the door, yelling for the redhead to open it. No answer. "Are you sure?" she demanded to the blond boy.
He looked sad and nodded.
"Dez! Please open the door. We talked about this the other day. You can't lock yourself in a room. There are better ways to deal with this. You know that. Please, let me in."
Riker looked terrified as he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. She knew this was his escape from life; closing his eyes brought him to a place she didn't even know about. But she knew it brought him peace that no one was able to shake from her. Her heart ached momentarily, knowing he was hurting from watching his roommate do this, and then focused back on the door in front of her. "If you don't let me in, you know I'm going to break the door down!" she yelled.
As if she could, but it was a nice idea. Well, not a nice one, but it gave her the edge she needed to make the boy understand.
Riker chuckled without noise and shook his head, walking over to the door. He paused, staring at the wood for a moment, and then backed up. "Riker, I didn't actually mean for you to…"
He shook his head again and came running forward, plowing the door with his shoulder. What should have been a loud cry of pain was a gentle sounding thud, and the door imploded, cracking at the lock and sending the blond boy toppling into the room. Dez was in the corner, not moving. Blood around him. She cursed wildly, picking up Riker off the floor. "Go find Marie, and tell her to call for an ambulance," she demanded. Riker didn't need another second, and took off toward the office at the other end of the building.
Dez was still conscious, it seemed but it wouldn't be for long. She was angry with him, not because he was hurting, but because of how he was showing it. Ally knew he had battled with depression all his life and it wasn't the first time he had locked himself in the bathroom, but it never ended like this.
"Dez," she whispered in a voice way too emotional for her own liking. Damn these guys and their way of getting into her heart. "Why would you do that?"
He looked at her, barely able to keep his eyes open. She applied as much pressure to his wrists as she could, but blood was still seeping through at random points.
"Damn it," she muttered, looking for signs of Marie and Riker.
"I'm sorry," he finally said. "It just hurts. So bad, Ally."
"I know," she whispered back, kissing his cheek. "But you can't do this. You can't leave me and the others. What would we do without you?"
He didn't answer, as he had slipped into unconsciousness.
"Marie!" she screamed as loud as she was able. A crowd had formed outside the bathroom. The misfits of the area, all watching as one of their own lied crumbled on the floor. Each of them had their problems, some more serious than others. Dez was a misfit too of course, and had severe problems with cutting and depression, like she had mentioned before. But this was an all new low for him… he had never actually tried to take his life.
Marie came running into the room, her eyes wild and terrified. Marie was a beautiful woman, despite what she dealt with for a job. Pretty, tall and thin she stood looking more composed than Ally was. She bent down on her knees, taking one wrist from Ally's hand. "The ambulance is on its way," she said in a soft voice. "Kids, go back to your rooms. Please."
Ally looked on as the others slowly walked away. Riker hung back though, watching his roommate with sad eyes.
"What happened?"
"I don't know," she whispered to her boss, sighing loudly. "Riker found me and told me to come over here. He locked himself in the bathroom and when I got it open, he was on the floor, covered in his own blood. I thought we were making progress, us talking and all. I thought… I don't know."
She broke off, not wanting to show how weak she was in front of her boss. This was not how she was supposed to act. She couldn't blame herself for the problems of those she tried to help, as Marie always told her. Ally could only try and help them to the best of her ability.
"Don't blame yourself. Dez is my responsibility, sweetheart. I should've been watching him more closely. Did he say anything?"
"Just that he was sorry and that he was hurting."
Marie looked close to tears. Dez was her first teen that ever really touched her, and she had adopted the boy as her own. He lived at the shelter, but he was really hers.
The EMTs arrived seconds later, and Dez was loaded onto a stretcher. She bit her lip as he was loaded from the building toward the flashing lights and looked at her hands. His blood was all over her.
"Sweetheart, I'm going to the hospital with Dez. Would you mind staying overnight with the rest of them until I call? I don't want to take any chances after this. Just make sure everyone is here and that they're okay. This is not good for any of them. Thanks!"
Ally was going to protest and tell her she couldn't do this anymore, but she knew her help was needed tonight. She couldn't just leave the rest of the group without anyone, especially when one of their own had just been taken away in an ambulance, fighting for his life. Ally nodded even though Marie was already gone, one of the problems her boss had. She never really gave Ally a choice. She just threw things at her and expected them not to be a problem.
After watching them drive away, Ally walked back into the building, stares directed at her. She smiled warmly at everyone and clapped her hands. "Dez will be fine. Now, it's time to get ready for bed. Please go back to your rooms and I'll be around to make sure you're all okay. If you need anyone to talk to tonight, I'm here."
They did as they were told, except for Riker. He was fidgeting in the corner, his eyes dark and worried. Dez was one of his best friends despite the problems they both had, and she knew this was making him upset. "Do you want to talk?" she asked softly, looking into his pain filled eyes.
He gave her the amused look he always did, when she asked that question. Gently shoving the boy, she only laughed. "You know what I mean, Riker. Go get your notebook and meet me on the steps, okay?"
He also did as he was told and she walked around the small shelter, making sure the group was all okay. She waved to Rydel who was in her room, listening to music, seemingly unaffected by all of it. Rocky was still sulking in his room, but he always did that. Ratliff was pacing, something she found he did when he was trying to keep his mind off other things, and then there was the group toward the back. Then there was the crying boy from earlier, still in his room, eyes red. She waved softly at him, told him that she was around if needed, and walked back toward the front. The others had answered their doors, but had wished to be left alone.
The house was the home of eight teens currently, including the hurt Dez. Ally had a room for when she stayed overnight, which these days, seemed to be happening a lot more. She didn't mind though, as she often spent the nights up with Riker, who didn't sleep much himself. It was a result of an accident a long time ago that had taken his voice.
She met him back on the steps and looked at the blond boy in front of her.
Eyes sad and hurt, this was the Riker she had met about six months ago.
Riker now, was usually a happy but quiet boy who enjoyed his guitar, and video games.
He was her best proof that she was good at what she did, as he had opened up to her in the matter of a month. Marie had told her one time, it took her almost a year to even get him to write anything other than what he needed at the time. And then was Dez, but she didn't even understand their friendship.
Riker was special.
His parents died when he was almost fourteen in a car accident that ended up taking his voice with them. He was relatively unharmed in all of it, but when he woke up in the hospital; his vocal cords were destroyed with no hope of them ever able to work again. It bothered him at first, as he had always been a singer and musician, but over time, he found that he could still play the guitar and be the musician he wanted, just without the voice.
His guitar was something she had only had the privilege of seeing, and she took pride with his trust.
"Hey," she said, taking a seat next to him on the steps of the house. It was their spot, where they often went to get away from the craziness that was the shelter. It was also where Riker would sit at night when he couldn't sleep, and had been the same place where he had finally talked to her for the first time.
He waved simply, and smiled at her.
"Are you okay?"
He shrugged.
"Talk to me," she pressed, touching his shoulder.
Riker sighed and took a pen from the side of him, opening the page of the notebook she had bought him just for these kind of chats. When Riker first got to the house, he didn't even think of something like this. He had just shown up, not able to talk and only had the use of gestures to explain what he needed. Riker now found solace in the fact that he was able to communicate with others again.
What if he's not okay?
Ally sighed. "Riker, you can't think that way."
Yes, I can. Because this is real life and he could die.
"But you can't allow yourself to think that would happen. Dez is strong and Marie is with him. You know how she is. She doesn't give up on anyone and as much as he is hurting, neither does he."
Riker just sighed.
"Don't you give me that look," she chuckled, pushing him.
I love you, Ally.
She smiled back at him, and pulled him into a hug. "You're a great person, Riker. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And I love you too."
Just as he was about to mouth something to her, there was a crash at the gate. Ally looked up in alarm and noticed someone stumbling towards them. Riker stood in front of her protectively, and they watched as the person collapsed in front of them.
Ally noticed the blood first, then the bruises.
A weak voice whispered from below them, "Please help me."
Ally looked at Riker and then back at the body, before going into action. "Riker, help me get him up."
Riker walked over to where Ally was now standing, well, bending over the injured person.
"Hi, I'm Ally. I work here. Can you tell me your name?"
The boy at her feet groaned loudly and she noticed he was bleeding really heavy from a spot on his head. "Austin," was the last thing he said before he fell unconscious, leaving them to stare at the blond, and think what could have happened to the unconscious boy at their feet, that led him to the shelter.